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I find the adoration of Edward Cullen quite disturbing.

(50 Posts)
HuffwardlyRudge Fri 29-May-09 12:10:36

Why are grown women so breathlessly, girlishly excited about the love story between Bella and Edward?

It is a horrible relationship.

Edward is praised and lauded for not hurting Bella. She tries hard not to do anything to make it so that he can't help hurting her. The whole relationship is about him.

She surrenders herself to him absolutely and makes herself believe that she loves him so much she can't live without him. She also believes that she is the one who will change him.

She doesn't think she is good enough for him. She is terrified of him leaving.

He is bossy and controlling and patronising. He plays with her.

Now if you take out the vampire element, this reads to me like a fairly common abusive relationship.

Why do people seem to think it is a beautifully aching love story?

It's horrible.

I would hate my daughter to read this and think it is love.

Yes, it's a fiction. Yes, it's about vampires. However, I am making a serious point here. I find it disturbing that so many women read the story and swoon. I read it with distaste.

stitchtime Fri 29-May-09 12:14:33

i agree with you. it reads like something out of the womens aid website.
however
the women who adore hiim soooomuch, are all older, ime. they know about relationships. and what is abusive, andnot. they acknowledge that, but still adore him,for his good points. coz he has some amazing points.
belaa, is just a wet sop. cant think of a suitable adjective to describe her.

SolidGoldBrass Fri 29-May-09 12:17:08

V interesting points, OP. I haven;t read any of the Twilight stuff as I prefer my vampire porn a lot dirtier (Laurell K Hamilton more my cup of blood) but what I have read about the twilight books suggests that they do portray a very unhealthy view of sexuality and relationships - isn't the author a bit of an abstinence-preaching loon?

HuffwardlyRudge Fri 29-May-09 12:31:40

What are his amazing points stitch? Other than being beautiful?

Solid - yes, unhealthy is just the right word. And it's an unhealthy idea that a frightening number of people think is the norm, or even an ideal. It's that hand wringing "but I love him soooo much" thing.

Perhaps I'm a horrible old cynic? I don't think I am though.

sockmonkey Fri 29-May-09 12:33:46

Why would preaching abstinance cause someone to be a loon? hmm

I do like the books. The relationship is odd, which is why Bella is so torn about the choice between Jacob & Edward. They both treat her so very differently.
It's just fiction though.

mummyplonk Fri 29-May-09 12:37:46

I agree, was getting a bit bored with the inevitable being fantastic at everything he tried his hand to. (Didnt notice anything Bella excelled in except falling), what do you think about a 90 yr old feeling the way he did about a giel so young? couldnt get my head around that issue.

mrsmaidamess Fri 29-May-09 12:41:10

My dd (13) agrees with everything you have said Huff, thank goodness. (Although physically she finds him very appealing)

SolidGoldBrass Fri 29-May-09 13:04:40

ALl abstinence peddlers are sexually-dysfunctional loons. Nothing wrong with not wanting to have sex much, if at all, yourself, but being obsessed with stopping other people having it is a loon-indicator.

morningpaper Fri 29-May-09 13:07:00

Ms Magazine wrote an article about this series here

Overmydeadbody Fri 29-May-09 13:08:37

lol

All valid points I think.

I do believe the women who adore him adore him for his beauty and because they can't have him.

The relainship itself, between Bella and Edward, is just wierd.

Overmydeadbody Fri 29-May-09 13:13:12

Surely it's teen fiction though, not adult fiction?

KingCanuteIAm Fri 29-May-09 13:17:51

Oh fgs, the relationship between bella and edward is a relationship between a human and a vampire, not a human and a human anyone who cannot make that distinction should not be reading it. It is not supposed to be representative of a human:human relationship, if it were human:human it would be bad but it is not it is a preditor:pray relationship. Just as a wild cat who reists the urge to eat an injured baby bird on the floor in front of it despite wanting to do nothing else becasue of the instincts that drive it is impressive.

It is so childish to say "ooh it is so bad, it is a bad relationship yada yada" aside from anything else it is a BOOK, FICTION, made up, rubbish.

Not many children I know have read Lord of the rings and decided it would be a really good idea to go trotting off to find a hobbit to go hunting volcanos with. If your child is too immature to recognise fiction and the difference between types of relationships then no, they should not be reading.

Stop over-analyising, people like you take all the flamin pleasure out of life.

redandgreen Fri 29-May-09 13:36:36

Another article agreeing with OP here

As do I. Think misogynist writing dressed up as romance up and peddled to pre-teens is definitely something worth pointing out. NOT something that should go uncommented upon.

(Although I did get addicted to the damn things and had to read all 4 in quick succession)

SolidGoldBrass Fri 29-May-09 16:42:42

You know, 'romance' has long been actually more toxic than a lot of pornography in the message it peddles. Romances always centre on passive or self-sacrificing women and 'strong' men who erotically scare them and now and again beat them up, stalk them or just plain 'keep trying'. This is just more of the same: telling girls that self-sacrifice is what makes you lovable, that your sexuality needs to be repressed and controlled, and that a controlling man is 'romantic'.

littlelamb Fri 29-May-09 16:44:06

ah, Edward Cullen
<<swoon>>
sorry, you were saying? grin

KingCanuteIAm Fri 29-May-09 16:45:19

Why is it "misogynist" redandgreen?

SolidGoldBrass Fri 29-May-09 17:08:06

Because it's all about women taking second place, being passive, being the not-important one in a couple-relationship purely because they don't have cocks.
This is misogyny in essence: believing that women are lesser than men.

KingCanuteIAm Fri 29-May-09 17:15:18

I didn't read it that way, in fact the opposite. His needs were put in second place to hers (ie his need to feed versus her need to be alive).

I didn't read anywhere in those books that any of the women were worth less than the men (and I am sure there was no metion of cocks wink)

sockmonkey Fri 29-May-09 17:16:03

Will consider myself a sexually disfuntional loon then.
KingCanute - I'm with you on this one

HuffwardlyRudge Fri 29-May-09 19:13:36

Redandgreen's link put it so much better than I did.

KingCanute - I absolutely agree that the book is portraying a preditor / prey relationship. So why then are women reveling in it, daydreaming about it, fantasising about Edward Cullen? You don't watch a cat playing with a baby bird and sigh to yourself, imagining yourself as the baby bird, do you?

I'm not saying it was a bad book. I was quite hooked wanting to know what happened in the end. I still think it has a terrible message though, and that it is being marketed at teenage girls makes it all the more important to say so.

KingCanuteIAm Fri 29-May-09 19:23:36

The thing is, I don't think it is a message, I think it is a book - which is why I have such a hard time buying into the furore about it!

PleasinglyPointless Fri 29-May-09 19:28:24

to me it is just about that teen feeling of being hopelessly completely in love.

adoration of edward is madness though what with jacob being infinitely better.

ramonaquimby Fri 29-May-09 19:29:07

isn't it pure escapism?

nickytwotimes Fri 29-May-09 19:33:41

I see the point the op is making, but as a woman who was in love with HEathcliff and Mr Rochester for 10 years, I do not have a leg to stand on. grin

yappybluedog Fri 29-May-09 19:35:13

I am with KingCanute also, you are over-analysing it

I very much doubt that most teenage girls would pick up on that analysis

and anyway, how could you not swoon over this

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