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Find your new favourite book or recommend one on our Book forum.

Find your new favourite book or recommend one on our Book forum.

What we're reading

If you read romantic fiction, how easy do you find it to have a realistic relationship in real life?

21 replies

Nighbynight · 01/05/2009 16:52

Putting it here rather than relationships, to attract the bookworms!

I ask, because I think I find it very hard to separate fiction from real life (want to be a writer), and subconsciously I have been looking for a man to solve all my problems and supply a happy ending. And I think part of this comes from reading too many romances. Do other people feel this, or do you all find it easy to have realistic relationships?

OP posts:

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ninah · 01/05/2009 16:55

what would you term a realistic relationship?

alicecrail · 01/05/2009 17:03

I really love trashy romantic books and i am a terrible romantic, however i was told by my Grandma in my teens that relationships need work and compromise. So i was realistic on that front. I have got quite serious quite quickly with boyfriends because i thought it was the 'real' thing and then been disappointed when they turned out to be twats. I'm afraid i always jump in with two feet and think rationally later

I am now married to a lovely man who is perfect for me in every way and met every one of my expectations. But i think i am just very lucky

Nighbynight · 01/05/2009 17:07

ninah - realistic as in not like a relationship in a book. Being happy with someone who isn't perfect.

alice - I was told that too, but although I know it logically, at some level, Im still hoping for the romantic novel.

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pointydog · 01/05/2009 17:09

I would just take a look at myself and think how far removed I was from a romantic heroine.

BonsoirAnna · 01/05/2009 17:09

I think my DP is pretty perfect . But then, I played the field waited for a long time for him to come along!

alicecrail · 01/05/2009 17:12

I'm not saying my Dh hasn't got his faults, just that he is perfect for me iyswim?

Nighbynight · 01/05/2009 17:14

pointy - logically, I have no problem with that, as I have never been pretty. Like I said before, it's not about logic - it's about sub-conscious feelings that influence you without you being aware.

anna - your life reads like a romantic novel sometimes though!

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Nighbynight · 01/05/2009 17:16

that's nice, alice. bless you, my dears[smiel]

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SamsMama · 01/05/2009 17:29

LOL, I have a Facebook button that says, "Nora Roberts has given me unrealistic standards for men."

So...yes.

BonsoirAnna · 01/05/2009 17:36

LOL!

georgimama · 01/05/2009 17:40

On a tangent, I'm a member of "Legally Blonde gave me unrealistic expectations of law school."

No one is perfect, heroes in romantic novels aren't perfect (I think bleurgh about lots of them, which is why I find 99% of chick lit rubbish because I am clearly supposed to be fantasising away).

Do what Father Ted did with Dougal, draw a picture of his head with "imagination" written inside it and "real world" written outside the head outline. Look at it regularly.

Starbear · 01/05/2009 17:49

It was Molly Parkin Books that destroyed my relationships. Sex was never as fab in real life as it was in her books. Read them at 15 yrs! Hidden under the bed! I've been looking for sex like that ever since as if it was my holy grail

BonsoirAnna · 01/05/2009 17:50

My DP wants me to think he is perfect! He tries really hard to meet my expectations

Nighbynight · 01/05/2009 18:05

lol Anna, hope you didnt read Molly Parkin when you were 15 then...

I think thats the problem, star. I also filled my head with such stuff at this impressionable age.
Not fancying the heroes doesnt work for me. I usually fall in love with them.

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Starbear · 02/05/2009 11:02

Nighbynight I didn't mention the 19 year old Spanish boyfriend that I almost 'did it with' on holiday when I was 14 yrs. Still the only man to give a really wow orgasm. On the other hand I never came home with expensive souvenir for my family!

Nighbynight · 02/05/2009 12:43

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SamsMama · 02/05/2009 14:28

Wow, Starbear.

(Only kidding of course, not glorifying adultery ;))

The only issues I have with DH in this regard are not sexual ones; he's fab in the sack. He's just EXTREMELY introverted, v.v. quiet and not one for grand romantic gestures.

Starbear · 02/05/2009 19:48

Nighbynight This was the 70's! He was great when I said 'no' he stopped. He must have been very frustrated really.He also knew my uncle would kill him! (from the same village)I do remember him saying he was going to Benidorm on holiday as English girls were easy I would suggest Dartmoor for for MN girls on a DOE expedition

TwoIfBySea · 02/05/2009 21:46

Can you imagine what it will be like for those who are growing up reading Twilight then?

It isn't just books that are guilty of making us hope for more, films are just as bad!

Starbear · 03/05/2009 10:07

What was Twilight about? Who wrote it?
Oh! yes, 1950-60's comedy films made America look fab and sweet. I wanted to have the same life as the boys in 'Flipper' one eposide he was on a desert island with 'Flipper' I wanted to be alone with him really, really fancied the lad and wanted to snog him!

TwoIfBySea · 03/05/2009 20:40

The Twilight novels by Stephenie Meyer, Starbear. As read by "young adult" girls and wishful 30-somethings! Can you guess which one I am, lol!?

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