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Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

(12 Posts)
DaisyRaine90 Sun 12-Nov-17 21:00:19

What did you think of the book?
What did you think of her parenting style?

Xx

fatowl Mon 13-Nov-17 11:38:08

I read it a few years ago.

I teach at an international school in Asia, and her approach is at the extreme end but it’s not uncommon out here.

I actually did a reading comprehension based on an extract from the book with my (mostly Chinese) Y10s. That was eye-opening! Most of them have parents with these tendencies - even if they try to keep it in check.
There are some academically brilliant students at my school , I’m also the school safeguarding officer and we have high levels of anxiety, self harming and depression.

It’s not confined to Chinese/Asian families though.

LadyinCement Mon 13-Nov-17 11:47:07

I won this in a MN giveaway!

I enjoyed it, and the book is actually quite funny which is often ignored when it is discussed.

Dd has a Chinese friend who does about ten activities a week. So she's at swimming and her dm is going, "Hurry up, it's fencing in 30 minutes!" She works very hard at school and at home too, which her dm freely admits. The dm also told me that her relatives think that her dd is a total slacker. They do after-school school and weekend school and can't believe how lax UK parents are.

GhostsToMonsoon Mon 13-Nov-17 12:15:33

I read this a few years ago (got it in an MN giveaway).
I am too lazy to be a tiger mother and my children mostly play on their tablets when they get back from school.
With things like piano-playing, I wonder how much is innate ability and how much is doing huge amounts of practice.

DaisyRaine90 Mon 13-Nov-17 20:44:39

I’m a bit of a tiger 🐯 when it comes to homework and love fixed activities

I’m about to start Suzuki violin with DD
But she will do 30 mins a day and then be allowed free time

I’m strict with screen time, bed time etc. But believe more in play and praise as the focus and discipline as the back ground not the fore front

I think I’m pretty balanced
I found the book very very funny actually and found her conflict of culture very interesting

The short chapters and innate humanness of it kept me gripped

Parenting is no perfect art and this book shows that to a T

DaisyRaine90 Mon 13-Nov-17 20:45:15

Wish I’d got r free!!!! X

hackmum Thu 16-Nov-17 11:21:01

I enjoyed it. As LadyInCement says, it's actually quite funny, and she realises herself that her approach is a bit crazy.

I am much too lazy to put in the kind of effort she did, though. And my DD was much to wilful for me to even attempt it - she resisted any of my attempts to get her to do anything she didn't want to do, such as practise her piano.

I did think her approach was insane, bordering on cruelty (no play dates, no taking part in school productions) but I have to admit that she has ended up with two very high achieving adult daughters.

LadyinCement Thu 16-Nov-17 11:53:52

Agree, hackmum, that you need a compliant dc to achieve tiger motherhood. I can't imagine doing home ed: if I said, "Yippee! We're now going to do Latin/calculus/life cycle of spirogyra" I would be met with a resounding raspberry.

i wish I'd been tigered a bit more. Dm was extremely hands off and I really needed someone to give me a boot up the backside. I try (and usually fail!) to tread a middle line with the dcs.

DaisyRaine90 Thu 16-Nov-17 13:03:19

That middle line is a tight rope for sure!!

Trying2bgd Thu 16-Nov-17 13:13:57

I read this years ago and really enjoyed it and yes it's quite funny. I recognise a lot from my own strict upbringing. I think she was obviously quite extreme but at the same time I think being a mini tiger mum isn't a bad thing although it should be tailored to what suits your child i.e. No point trying to help your child become the next Einstein when they clearly have no interest in science. With regards to piano playing, both ability and practise are important, you can be super talented but if you never practise you will get no where as there will be an equally talented child nearby willing to put the hours in!

Catalufa Fri 17-Nov-17 10:49:25

I liked this book too. I think the author does recognise in the book that you need a compliant child - hence her greater success with DD1 than DD2.

My DC do loads of after school activities and as a family we value academic success too. So I guess I’m a bit tigerish myself! But I would (and have) let a child give up an activity they weren’t enjoying, no problem.

DaisyRaine90 Fri 17-Nov-17 11:50:45

My rule is you have to finish the first half term or term depending what's been paid for and if you still want to stop you can as regards extra curriculars. There are some in-optional things though, they have to do chores and homework, learn to swim and ride a bike, and have one sport and one instrument. The choice of which sport and instrument is (kind of) up to DCs though. DC2 is too little to worry about this yet at 4mo, but 4yo knows she will be doing dance or gymnastics (one of her two choices) and she has chosen violin. But if she hates it she could move to something else.

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