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Share the little things you do as parent to be in with a chance of winning a £100 Spabreaks voucher + a copy of Happy by Fearne Cotton

(103 Posts)
SorchaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 15-Feb-17 10:44:41

Nobody’s perfect, but when it comes to parenting we often give ourselves a hard time, doubting whether we are doing a good job as we juggle everything life throws at us. It's something Fearne Cotton talks about in her new book, Happy, and to celebrate, Orion want to hear about the little things you do as a parent.

For many of us, life can feel like it's moving too fast, with pressure bearing down on us from all sides - whether that's from work, family or social media. As a result, we find ourselves frazzled, and – too often – feeling blue.

It's a subject close to Fearne's heart. Drawing on her own experiences, and including expert advice, Happy offers practical ways of finding joy each and every day. With workbook elements such as written exercises, simple practical ideas, and visualisations, Happy is full of tricks and reminders to help you start and end the day well, get in touch with your creative side and unlock that inner happiness.

To be in with a chance of winning a copy of Happy plus a £100 Spabreaks voucher (valid at over 700 spas), just tell us about the little things you do each day that make you a perfect parent, just the way you are.

This discussion is sponsored by Orion and will close at midday on 15 March

Books T&Cs apply

PovertyJetset Wed 15-Feb-17 12:56:34

For me, it's really staying in the moment and not letting myself get distracted.

I put my phone in my bedroom to charge as soon as I come in from work so I don't tap tap tap on it while I'm with the children.

I try to listen and connect to what they are telling and and let them know I'm interested in what they have to say.

I feel like I've got it sewn up when we are sat together just chatting and flopping around.

OhHolyFuck Wed 15-Feb-17 14:41:10

Listening to my DSs rather than just hearing "blah blah Pokemon/Star Wars/Lego/paw patrol blast blah mummmmmeeeeee" and focussing on really engaging on talking about what they're interested in rather than just "mm-mm, that sounds good" etc
I don't always do it especially when tired, coming off the back of night shifts or an ME flare up but I do try

Hastalapasta Wed 15-Feb-17 15:01:41

Listening to the kids, joining in with their games when they ask me to (not often)! Seeing them go to sleep with a smile on their faces.

CMOTDibbler Wed 15-Feb-17 15:16:34

Making time to really listen to them

BillyButtfuck Wed 15-Feb-17 15:19:34

When I sit in their room a little longer than I should after reading their bedtime stories. They've just fallen asleep and they're so peaceful and always look so little in their cots.
I just sit and watch them and no matter what chaos they unleashed throughout the day and no matter how exhausting and crazy my day has been and how many times I've thought 'can I really do this' 'am I doing this right' 'Am I a bad mum for sticking that dummy in, or leaving the TV on all day?'

In that moment, when all the this are cleared away and my Darling little ones are tucked up and asleep, I am the perfect parent.
I've kept them safe and warm and fed and loved for another day. I've been lucky enough to spend another day with them and we will all wake up tomorrow and be lucky enough to spend another day together - and no matter how chaotic tomorrow is probably going to be, I know that they are my babies and I'm their mum. They love me so much and I love them even more.

BillyButtfuck Wed 15-Feb-17 15:30:41

Ooo dear I waffled a bit there. To summarise, see photo.

foxessocks Wed 15-Feb-17 15:36:07

When I make the time to do something with my children that they'll really love. Baking or playing at home or going out somewhere fun and seeing their little faces all excited.

GrumpyOldBlonde Wed 15-Feb-17 15:47:41

While there is no perfect parent, doing my best always is what I aim for.
Making time to listen and be interested and always being available when I'm needed, whether for cuddles, practical things or just my ear.

My pancakes are perfect though, and always cheer her up!

Nydj Wed 15-Feb-17 16:05:44

Telling him I love him and making sure they know how I truly mean it several times a day so that it's almost a part of his DNA that I love him no matter what - he is a teenager and he tells us that he loves us several times a day too and that makes me happy.

Summerdays2014 Wed 15-Feb-17 18:27:19

Tell him I love him even when we've had the day from hell.
Cook for him even though lots gets rejected/thrown on the floor and it would be easier just to open a packet (not that I'm saying there is anything wrong with that)

finova Wed 15-Feb-17 18:36:39

Making time to get outside whatever the weather.

queenoftheschoolrun Wed 15-Feb-17 19:02:47

Making time for chats or cuddles when they're in the mood for them even if it isn't convenient.

hutchy73 Wed 15-Feb-17 19:34:14

Doing my best - not always perfect but I do try . Never too busy for a cuddle . Give him as much time as I can

garlicandsapphire Wed 15-Feb-17 21:35:54

It's siting together for dinner with my teenagers no phones or electronic equipment in sight - shooting the breeze about our days. Then turning the music up loud and sharing clearing the table and the washing up, dancing and mucking about, swiping each other with tea towels. A rare moment of fun and laughter before they scurry back to PlayStation, laptops and books.

purplepandas Wed 15-Feb-17 22:46:30

Just the small stuff. I think listening is key but I could do better!

FeelTheNoise Wed 15-Feb-17 23:02:19

Having the confidence to parent my children my way. That confidence has no place for meaningless and destructive criticism, and as a result, my energy remains on my children, rather than on defending my decisions 😊

MrFMercury Thu 16-Feb-17 07:44:59

I ask them how their day went and listen to the answer. If they're in bed but still awake when I get home I'll always go give them a hug and kiss goodnight. I love sharing new experiences with them even small things like the first time they saw a 3D film and were trying to reach out to touch the things coming out of the screen. Parenting isn't always easy and my kids have been through a lot after I got life threateningly ill when they were tiny but I love the interesting human beings they are and spending time with them is my favourite thing to do.

defineme Thu 16-Feb-17 08:07:35

Listening to them, respecting what they care about, understanding that poor behaviour doesn't reflect their worth, valuing their unique qualities and not just academic or sporting achievement.

InvisibleKittenAttack Thu 16-Feb-17 08:14:47

Another saying listen to them. My children see the world so differently and ask such interesting questions. I try to always give a real answer to their questions - even the tricky ones like "why don't slug have shells like snails do?" Or "are we rich?" (We aren't by UK standards but are by world standards, this ended up as an explanation of international aid).

And yes, telling them that we love them.

Cookies77 Thu 16-Feb-17 08:52:58

Respect your child and extend them the same courtesy you would a friend - listen to what they're trying to tell you, don't snap at them and when you're with them, be in the moment and give them your full attention.

Summerholidayblues Thu 16-Feb-17 08:53:15

When I have a proper conversation with 2 year old DD - listening to her, laughing with her and enjoying her company. It's easy to push the pram or drive the car without talking to her but I always feel amused, proud and happy when we have a proper chat...and I see how much she is learning.

GoodyGoodyGumdrops Thu 16-Feb-17 09:38:27

There is no such thing as perfect parenting. Even suggesting it creates a stick with which we beat ourselves over the head.

The best thing I do to make myself a good enough parent is to remember that I don't need to be perfect. I accept my flaws. I stop myself when I strain - and fail - to achieve perfection. I do not beat myself up.

For me lots of affection - hugs and closeness - along with lots of praise, has been at the heart of parenting my now teens.

BubbleWrapQueen Thu 16-Feb-17 12:44:21

Not trying to be the perfect parent. That's how.

Like now. It's half term. My kids have had microwavable burgers for lunch as that's what they wanted. They're watching TV as I MN on my phone. But they're happy, they're healthy, and trying to be that perfect parent that often forums lead you to believe everyone else is being is detrimental to everyone.

But I sneak in my kids room every night to kiss them as they sleep, even after a decade. They go to bed and sleep being loved. That's what makes me a perfect parent.

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