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Which Male Literary Character Would You Do Til Their Ears Bled?

(331 Posts)
LaQueen Sun 27-Jan-13 19:58:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cocolepew Sun 27-Jan-13 21:49:34


Umlauf Sun 27-Jan-13 21:49:52

Another vote for Heathcliff!

pointythings Sun 27-Jan-13 21:50:43

OK, but if we're talking about Terry Pratchett men, I'd have to plump for Death. Which could be really, really awkward, but there it is.

StickEmWithThePointyEnd Sun 27-Jan-13 21:52:06

Sandor Clegane from GoT
Sirius Black
Haymitch Abernathy (Hunger Games)

What is it with me and damaged literary men?

I nearly said Death but thought I'd lowered the tone enough with Julian already. grin I like him in Reaper Man and would be happy to rip his dungarees off.

MegBusset Sun 27-Jan-13 21:53:27

Raistlin and, bizarrely, Tas from the Dragonlance books
V from V For Vendetta

StickEmWithThePointyEnd Sun 27-Jan-13 21:54:09

Lucius Malfoy

I can't believe I forgot about Luscious Lucius. He is a recent crush though.

Allalonenow Sun 27-Jan-13 21:54:12

Thomas Cromwell (Wolf Hall)
Jack Aubrey (Aubrey/Maturin)

Wallison Sun 27-Jan-13 21:56:27

Ooh yes to Atticus Finch. Possibly the best father character in all of literature.

ItLooksLikeRainDear Sun 27-Jan-13 21:57:51

grin at Captain carrot... Do you know me remus ??? Made me laugh loudly as boy next door had red hair!

ravenAK Sun 27-Jan-13 21:59:57

Ross Poldark

RustyBear Sun 27-Jan-13 22:04:10

Hugh Beringar from the Cadfael books. But only in the books.

FuriousRox Sun 27-Jan-13 22:04:33

Who said chrestomanci? I am so with you on that. Oh those dressing gowns... Swoon...

And Rupert c-b too please.

And mr darcy - how unoriginal am I!

pointythings Sun 27-Jan-13 22:05:20

The problem with Lucius Malfoy is that my perception of him is coloured by Jason Isaacs, who I would do no matter what he was wearing. Or not, come to that. In the actual book he doesn't do much for me.

Remus so glad it isn't just me... I've always felt Death was a really nice person.

pointythings Sun 27-Jan-13 22:06:43

That was me, Furious! grin.

Rusty I really liked High Beringar when Sean Pertwee was playing him in the TV series. The two actors who followed on just didn't measure up...

Oh, and when it comes to the Three Musketeers I want Athos. I could make him forget Milady, I know I could...

Teahouse Sun 27-Jan-13 22:07:35

Colonel Brandon
Sir Lancelot
Possibly almost any sexy vampire

joanofarchitrave Sun 27-Jan-13 22:08:49

Funny, most of my lit crushes have died politically conscious deaths.

Henry Tilsley - but what the hell is he doing with a dolt like Catherine Morland? I fear he is a narcissist metrosexual and only loves her image of him.

Patrick Merrick - the mention earlier reminded me of my fierce crush on him, which lasted until the bit where he kissed the au pair and smugly decided she was 'ok to practice on' or something of the kind because OBVIOUSLY she wasn't like a real person, being a servant. And I was forced to concede that it would be a cold day in hell before I really wanted to shag a Tridentine Catholic. So, in revenge...

Ginny Marlow. The only person in the entire book who actually has sexual feelings and is a recognisable person - I bet she'd go like a train. And the author may not like her, but I realised after a while that I did.

HoneyDragon Sun 27-Jan-13 22:09:49

It concerns me that on a relatively short thread three of us have readily admitted to wanting to have sex with an animated skeleton.

(But I so would Skulduggary, especially when he sings Valkerie to sleep with Mrs Jones)

(And Death - But in Soul Man)

RustyBear Sun 27-Jan-13 22:10:20

Sean Pertwee was definitely the best of them, but I had a very clear mental image of Hugh naked from the books, and Sean Pertwee just wasn't anything like that.

TunipTheVegedude Sun 27-Jan-13 22:13:14

Robert Carne from South Riding.

I'll also join the queue for Thomas Cromwell from Wolf Hall, a book which ended my 25 year crush on Thomas More from A Man For All Seasons <weeps at finding lovely More torturing heretics in his gatehouse>

blackcurrants Sun 27-Jan-13 22:18:24

oh I LOVE Death! But not sure I would want to shag him . . .never liked skinny ones. William de Worde now, that could work. And Adorabelle Dearheart, definitely!

And Aragorn, but Boromir and Faramir more. I must be getting old. And, let's face it, teenage me fancied Eowyn most of all. She was just coolest!

Finnick Adair from the Hunger Games. Remis Lupin. Agree with whoever said Mercutio upthread- oh! And Feste. Sarky snarky Feste with the lovely voice and legs and yeah, in a play about cross dressing he's the one for me! grin

MrsOakenshield Sun 27-Jan-13 22:19:35

Sirius and Lupin. Together.
Eric Northman
Joe Morelli (from the Stephanie Plum books)
Declan O'Hara

CarefulUpThere Sun 27-Jan-13 22:19:53

Can't believe you people are rating Vimes, Carrot and Death over Vetinari!

only I think any potential lover would have to beat him at chess first and I can't play very well. For some reason it seems like I'm cheating to fantasise that I can play (whereas fantasising about a tyrant with psychopathic traits is perfectly ok clearly)

I haven't thought about this before oh no...

pointythings Sun 27-Jan-13 22:24:28

careful I was considering Vetinari too, you know. It's just that there are so many men, and so little time... grin

Branleuse Sun 27-Jan-13 22:25:11

rhett butler.

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