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What is your favourite self-help book?

20 replies

TheHairyDieter · 13/11/2012 11:50

I have read a few over the years, and I have found that most will give you at least one great idea for self-improvement. I don't believe that one book has all the answers, not for me anyway. My favourites (in terms of what has made a big difference to my life) are probably the following:

How to Win Friends and Influence People
Be Your Own Life Coach
The Secret.

What are yours?

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ilovetermtime · 13/11/2012 20:07

I agree.

Mine is How to win friends and influence people, probably because it was the first one I read and it really made a big impact on me. I'm struggling to remember the names of some of the others, but there was one by the guy who wrote Men are from Mars which was about relationships and I found it a real insight into why I couldn't hold down a relationship (I used to start off all keen and after a couple of months dump them for various ridiculous reasons - it took this book to make me realise that the problem might actually be my expectations, which I realise doesn't sound great, but they were unrealistically high!)

At the moment I'm reading Wanting Everything by Dorothy Rowe. It's hard going but very insightful.

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TheHairyDieter · 14/11/2012 08:35

I didn't really enjoy "Men are from Mars...". Was really hoping I would, but it just didn't click for me.

I have just ordered "What to Say When You Talk to Yourself" (or something like that) by Stad Helmstetter. Has anybody here read it? Is it any good?

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ilovetermtime · 14/11/2012 20:28

I know what you mean, I found that Men are from Mars sort of explained things but presented things like, this is how men work, this is how women work, and neither sexes can change. Which I don't agree with, but I can see that it explained how things are right now (or at least 20 years ago when I read it,iyswim).

What is 'What to say when you talk to yourself' about (other than the obvious)? Is it about changing your inner voice? I'd probably find that useful, cos I have my mum on my shoulder, criticising everything that I do!

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BoerWarKids · 23/11/2012 22:18

Anything by Dorothy Rowe. She's amazing.

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AKissIsNotAContract · 23/11/2012 22:19

Women who love too much was very useful to me when I was younger.

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anewmotivatedme · 09/01/2013 20:08

Get a Grip by Matthew Kimberley

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Campaspe · 10/01/2013 18:55

The Bitch Rules by Elizabeth Wurtzel. The only self-help book I have ever found any good. I return to it over and over again. It's much better than its title suggests.

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Sheila · 10/01/2013 19:01

'Feel the Fear and do it Anyway' by Susan Jeffers. A bit cringe-inducing in parts but the basic message, that as long as you're growing and achieving you'll always be a bit scared, was really motivating for me.

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mimbies · 15/01/2013 07:43

Anything by Gael Lindenfield. She's so down to earth.

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Galaxymum · 15/01/2013 10:33

I have found Gretchen Rubin's book The Happiness Project very useful. She isn't so "pushy" as a lot of self help authors. I warmed to her narrative as she feels a normal person who is really trying to improve her life. I used her book to get me motivated last year after my mum died, and I believe it has really put me on the right path to motivating me. Very easy to follow and I found some fantastic quotes to keep as mantras.

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bohemimum · 15/01/2013 10:47

Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now and A New Earth, Thich Nhat Hanh, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, .....

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olrojo · 15/01/2013 11:17

I liked 'what's not on the label' as a fantastic diet book - once you know what's in bread you really don't want to eat it! I do liked 'eat pray love' for its feminist, affirming life is ok message - I guess whatever speaks to you really. I'm going to try the happiness project again. Couldn't get into men are from mars. I really like the Buddhism for Mothers books for parenting type things.

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porridgelover · 15/01/2013 11:22

YY to Gretchen Rubin. Very gentle I found.

I follow Debbie Ford on Twitter but havent read any books by her. Has anyone else?

I liked Smile How to talk so kids will listen....it has made me a better person and parent. I find the techniques good with all sorts of difficult adults as well as for handling children!

I occasionally dip into The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama. Thats more of a read one bit and practice it. Repeat

(oooh get me! How worthy am I!)

What to say when you talk to yourself......worth getting??

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MELanglands · 15/01/2013 15:20

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akaemmafrost · 15/01/2013 15:31

Inside the mind of the angry and controlling man by the genius Lundy Bancroft. My ex stared out at me from every page and it convinced me that I was NOT the problem in our marriage, my husband the abusive bully was.

As recommended right here on MN Smile.

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BaconAndAvocado · 19/01/2013 21:29

A book called Get Rid of Him! proved very useful......

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MoniDubai · 28/01/2013 08:12

I haven't read my fave self help book yet but I think it might be the new one by Stephen Grolz, This Examined Life, here is my list of best non fiction. I think we can learn alot from other people's problems, and I think this one may just do that. I also love the sound of Jared Diamond who talks about what we can learn from traditional societies and the tribe whose only entertainment in talking ! Here is the link explaining why these are my must reads for 2013

doindubai.com/2013/01/20/best-books-for-new-year-2013/

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ProfessorDent · 29/04/2013 18:31

The Art of Clear Thinking by Rolf Dobelli is a new one, it's only £7 on Amazon. Each chapter is only a few pages long, and it explores how our minds can lead us up the garden path and be prejudiced over certain things. So if you fancy making it as an actor or a rock star, you'll imagine you will because the only rock stars or actors you read about or hear about are the ones who have made it, rather than the failures.

Plenty of other examples like that, for instance if you are bidding in an auction you're likely to go over, because of a sense of ownership gradually leads you to value it higher than it really is. Or how you often don't want to quit on a project and cut your losses because if you've invested a lot of time in it, you don't want to waste that time.

A handful of his many examples I can pick holes in, however.

In a way, it's a bit of an anti-hope self-help tome, so is rather downbeat, possibly as befits its Swiss author, who does not seem the life and soul of the party. However, I found it very interesting and easy to read, a necessary corrective.

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Sallystyle · 30/04/2013 09:07

Women Who Love Too Much

Funnily enough I have never actually needed this book but it was my mum's bible after she left my father. I think a lot of people who have been in bad relationships would benefit from reading it.

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positively9something · 24/04/2014 22:28

My favourite self help books so far have been attached - very useful for learning about your atachment styles.

Has anyone read excuse me your life is waiting or Love Life, Live life?

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