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Diet buddy not exactly going to plan

(5 Posts)
badietbuddy Sat 31-Oct-09 07:59:25

I started a new diet a month ago with my best friend. Coincidentally we both started out as the same weight even though she is 4 or 5 inches taller than me, so I am definately the short fat one wink. At first it was a great help to have her doing it with me, and she was the first to call and say how happy she was at the weight she was losing, when I found it difficult and actually officially started a week behind her as in the first week I had a couple of cheats blush. Now I am inot the swing of things, I have lost a stone, and my clothes feel much loser and I feel great. But diet buddy is not doing so well. She's had a difficult week where she wants to throw in the towel. I have told her to go and try on some things from her wardrobe to see how loose they are, but she insists that there is no change, even though I can tell that she is noticably slimmer. I have also tried explainign that as I am shorter the weight will probably come off from 'around' me more noticably. I don't know how to make her feel better honestly. I desperately want to be able to say to her how much I've lost and how loose my clothes are, but now she's having a difficult time I can't. I completely understand where she's coming from, if she was losing visibly and I wasn't I'm sure I'd feel funny about it too, but I don't want to seem insensitive by bringing it up, even though I'm ecstatic. There are other factors in my weight loss that she knows about. I've just stopped breastfeeding my second child and I know from feeding my first that that made me drop a lot of weight in itself. The whole idea was to be able to support each other through the ups and downs, but the balance of ups and downs seems very definately divided between us How can I help encourage her to keep going?

ABitHalloweenBatty Sun 01-Nov-09 21:53:59

Hmmm. I joined SW with my mate last year and have lost almost 6 stone. The mate I started with struggled to lose anything and eventually she gave up and left and I now go on my own hmm It's hard when the other person either isn't trying or isn't motivated. You are much better off finding someone else to be your buddy who will be a bit more into it? Go to a class of WW or SW?

badietbuddy Sun 01-Nov-09 22:45:43

Thanks for the reply A class isn't really an option for me as I'm on my own with 2 young children, and actually I feel incredibly motivated on this diet. I just feel a little let down that I can't leap for joy about my weight loss, and am instead tiptoeing around the issue so I don't hurt her feelings. She has been away for the weekend and not stuck to it, and has spent all evening on msn tellign me to cheat as it will 'get it out of my system' hmm. She is my absolute best friend and I really don't want this to become a sticking point between us. I just don't know how to encourage without seeming preachy iyswim. I know 'just one takeaway' will derail me and I'm not going to do it, but I think she will see my refusal as a judgement on her for doing it iyswim. Gosh, weight is such a funny issue isn't it

badietbuddy Sun 01-Nov-09 22:47:40

And well done on the weight loss btw, 6 stone is incredible

smileyboy Tue 03-Nov-09 20:54:07

Don't cheat! I suspect your friend is maybe a little jelous (not in a malicious way, just in a natural competative way!) and obviously is threatened by the fact that you're seeing results and sticking to it.

Can you not just drop the whole 'diet buddy' thing and try not to talk about the diet so you don't have to encourage her or brag to her, just try t obe friends like you were before the diet. Leave her to it, if she's not ready or motivated to lose the weight then you are probably wasting your time but that doesn't mean you can't be best friends and it doesn't mean you should give up!

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