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is anyone much heavier than they look?

(32 Posts)
tinatutor Tue 25-Aug-09 10:51:35

i realise that is probably going to sound like self denial but it's driving me totally nuts how HEAVY I am. I feel embarassed and ashamed of my actual weight, more than how I actually look.

Now I know I'm overweight, I look overweight and could def do with shifting a couple of stone.

However, I am a size 16 (am 5'9, large build, very curvy, massive boobs and even at my very thinnest was a 14 top and 16 bottoms)
I am in a running club and run 20 miles a week. I have a waist and can 'nearly' see some stomach muscles.

I am 16 stone!!

That puts me in the obese column on those charts, my BMI is v v high, I can't do some of the things I want to do eg: do to local horseriding school, go on trampoline with my kids, go on those adventure climbing tree things at center parcs etc cos i'm just too heavy.

The few people I've told how much I weigh have been shocked at how heavy I am, they are close friends and family and would tell me the truth.

I spoke to nurse about it and she said that looking at me it was ridiculous that I should be classed as obese rather than 'overweight' like loads of other mid 30's mothers of 2.

It's driving me nuts and really really gets me down.

I'm not looking for answers, just wondering if there is anyone else out there who is much heavier than they look.

franklymydear Tue 25-Aug-09 10:54:00

apart from the running you could be me - I'm an inch shorter and lighter but still it drives me bananas that I weigh so much when I don't think I look it so much (although admit to being overweight)

LaDiDaDi Tue 25-Aug-09 10:55:49

I'm not in the same position as you but the other day at work we were talking about BMI and weight and I was very surprised to hear the weight of one colleague in particular who I would have described as a slim size 10-12.

I wouldn't ignore your BMI and weight though, especially if is stopping you from doing what you want.

ohjustgrowup Tue 25-Aug-09 11:00:51

Weight alone doesn't tell you very much. It doesn't measure your fat to muscle ratio or your bone density or anything else that would have a bearing on what the scales say. Ignore that. If you are worried then see if you can have your fat measured. That's all that really matters, after all.

Don't stress. I wish I could see my stomach muscles!

OrmIrian Tue 25-Aug-09 11:03:44

I don't know. I don't know how someone my weight should look.

chim000 Tue 25-Aug-09 11:17:10

I am. I'm currently trying to lose weight as since I haven't been working I've put a lot on & until recently was verging on 'obese' on the BMI. Last week I was 11st, 5'1", meaning I was only 2lb off obese. Size 12 (sometimes 10). I'm losing the weight, but want to get back down to 9st 7lb which is my normal weight. This has me just overweight on BMI, although at this weight I am a size 10-8. So I'm perfectly happy with that. If I was to get down to my 'ideal' weight of approx 7.5 st there'd be nothing of me.

People used to be so shocked if they found out how much I weighed as I never looked that weight. There are obviously other reasons for it other than simply 'being fat'.

If you're happy & confident with how you look & are healthy & not putting your health at risk then IMO the weight doesn't matter as it's a lot more complicated than what the scales say.

DorotheaPlenticlew Tue 25-Aug-09 13:26:05

I am also much heavier than I look, and my DS (age 2) is the same.

I am currently still overweight (though having some succcess with WW ) after having DS. I weight 13st 3 right now, and I am 5 foot 6 inches; I wear a size 14. But even at my absolute thinnest, a few years ago when I was comfortably wearing size 8 jeans and sometimes even a size 6 from Gap (!!), I still weighed between 10 and 10.5 stone.

I recall being very puzzled long ago when I first read the Bridget Jones book that she was always going on about her desperate struggle to get below 9 stone. Even more puzzled when it became clear to me that this was regarded as very "normal" and even borderline chunky.

I'm glad I'm not alone, was delighted to see this thread as I never talk about this for fear everyone will assume I am kidding myself about it!

I do worry about DS, as he is quite literally off the chart in terms of actual weight despite not appearing "fat" (he looks a little chunky but in a nice, appropriate toddler way). It just bothers me that people may make him feel bad about his weight in the future. I still recall someone at school expressing shock at my weight when I was a kid - I doubt they meant to be hurtful but it made me feel really ashamed.

DorotheaPlenticlew Tue 25-Aug-09 13:27:39

Just re-read OP and wanted to add: I too have massive boobs, always have. Perhaps it's the boobs keeping us heavy.

Doesn't explain DS, though ...

Lucifera Tue 25-Aug-09 14:20:39

I lost weight this year, but I've always been heavier than people think I would be - not saying I didn't look overweight! I have v small breasts, think must have heavy bones!

wilkos Tue 25-Aug-09 14:34:22

dorothea plenticlew - i am 5ft 6 and when I was 13st 3 I was a size 18, which just goes to show that some people (ie me) do carry weight much more obviously than others. I only became a size 14 at 11st.

YorkshireRose Tue 25-Aug-09 14:36:23

I am 12st, 5ft 6 and size 12-14 (depends on the shop!)

Last year got down to 11st, was size 10-12.

If you have a more muscular build you will weigh more as muscle is denser than fat. So the fitter you are the heavier you will be for your size IYSWIM.

I read somewhere that at the peak of her ballet career Dame Margot Fonteyn weighed 10st despite having a very willowy ballerina's body, because of the muscle she had as a dancer.

fluffles Tue 25-Aug-09 14:39:34

i am fit and healthy (i run and cycle) and a size 12 (sometimes 14)...

i am 11 STONE!!!

Drives me mad too. I AM overweight i know that but the annoying thing is that i started at 10stone and was embarrassed that is overweight for my height (maximum 'healthy' bmi for my height is 9st10) so i started dieting and have ended up a stone heavier sad

Mamazon Tue 25-Aug-09 14:43:57

im 21stone.

no one ever believess me when i tell them. according to those charts im 10 stone over weight and morbidly obese.
but to look at me i'd guess you'd just call me fat

OhBling Tue 25-Aug-09 14:47:30

Your OP could be me almost. I'm also overweight, and look it - no denials here. But even when I went to my first ww meeting, the women weighing me was surprised as I weighed 12 and a half stone and I'm a size 16. I'm down to just under 12 stone but still look the same - although my clothes feel a bit looser. It's depressing though as I've lost weight and feel good but only me and DH can notice it. It's also weird because I'm at my same all time fatness in terms of clothes wearing, but am nearly 10 kg heavier than I was before.

A friend of mine is tiny and looks tiny and wears a size 8 and yet, when she lost a lot of weight a few years ago, she still was 10 stone and technically only slightly off obses. She was told it was because she had fat around her organs and that she should really deal with it.

It's really hard.

mablemurple Tue 25-Aug-09 14:48:29

I think a lot depends on your posture. I think I look like I weigh a lot less than I actually do, but I have always made a conscious effort to keep my shoulders back, head up and walk tall, so to speak.

YorkshireRose Tue 25-Aug-09 15:00:07

I think this thread just proves that ideal weight charts can only be used as a rough guide and the most important thing is your actual size and fitness. Weight alone is only a very rough measure of how trim you are.

racmac Tue 25-Aug-09 15:15:21

Im 10 stone exaclty and size 10 on top size 12 on bottom - and i look fairly slim.

But im amazed that some friends are the same weight but look bigger than me (a lot bigger)

pasturesnew Tue 25-Aug-09 15:27:53

I'd like to think so!
It's a strange one, isn't it? BMI is really not that informative.

I am 5'8 (or poss. 7 1/2) and otherwise your description is quite similar e.g. large build, very curvy, massive boobs. My ideal weight is about 11 1/2 st - when at this weight I am happy to wear a bikini and am size 12 but nevertheless would be at the very top of the "healthy" range on the BMI scale for my height. At 13st I am size 14 and at 14st I am size 16. Weirdly, when I was 9 1/2st I was still size 10/12 though.

I have quite broad shoulders and a relatively long back which helps spread the weight out, I think.

I have a friend the same height and bra measurement who has the most gorgeous long legs but whose weight shows more on her tummy and is less evenly distributed so her dress sizes at different weights are not the same as for me.

TheDMshouldbeRivened Tue 25-Aug-09 15:34:11

I am heavier than I look. 5 foot 10 and a size 10 -12 but poeple go shock when I tell them that right now I'm 11 stone.

Piffpaffpoff Tue 25-Aug-09 15:45:11

I'm the same as the OP - 5ft 8ish, lots of walking running and cycling, size 16 on the bottom, 18 on top and yet I am 15stone. I would say I look fat but not huge (compared to some people I see).

So glad to hear that I am not the only one who feels this way - I too was astonished/worried by Bridget Jones getting annoyed at being 9
.5 stone!

thesecondcoming Tue 25-Aug-09 15:46:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDMshouldbeRivened Tue 25-Aug-09 16:24:18

I think I shall throw away the evil scales and do the old fanshioned method. See how tight the clothes are and if you jump up n down nekkid, how much wobbles and makes your eyes bleed in a mirror grin

OrmIrian Tue 25-Aug-09 16:25:45

Yes. Do that riven! I long ago abjured my evil scales. Nasty little bully that it was.

TheDMshouldbeRivened Tue 25-Aug-09 16:31:00

mine lie to me I'm sure

gingernutlover Tue 25-Aug-09 17:18:22

kateharding.net/bmi-illustrated/

take a look at this, shows how rubbish the bmi scale is with real people

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