Defeated by fatness no more

(626 Posts)
BreathingDeep Mon 26-Apr-21 08:19:38

Happy Monday!

Following my thread last week about how I, and so many of us, are feeling like we're defeated by our weight, here's a support thread for those of us who don't want stop ourselves from living the lives we want any more.

There were some amazing stories shared and so much honesty about how this is a struggle for so many of us. Here's the thread for anyone wanting to read:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4225173-Defeated-by-my-fatness-am-I-alone

I know that I am sick of feeling ashamed of myself. Sick of hiding away. Sick of feeling that I'm judged for my weight. Sick of feeling that I'm letting myself and my family down. Sick of feeling that my inside doesn't match the outside. Sick of living in the same few outfits because everything else is too tight or looks terrible. Sick of seeking solace in food that doesn't nourish me. Sick of treating myself badly.

If you feel the same, come and join us! Everyone will have their own journey, their own approach and that's fine - please, no criticism or judgement of anyone's plan. The main aim is that we all take steps, every single day, to make ourselves feel better about ourselves.

For me, that means today will include drinking water, taking a long lunch and having a dog walk with a friend (this NEVER happens because work always comes first) and sticking with my Cambridge plan.

How about you?

OP’s posts: |
mermaidsariel Mon 26-Apr-21 08:32:38

Thanks for starting this thread. I'm starting today. I need a new set of bathroom scales as one of the feet has fallen off mine! Digital kitchen scales broken too.

Violinist64 Mon 26-Apr-21 08:36:36

Thank you for this. I am well on my way but it is good to support others and be supportive.

Cowbells Mon 26-Apr-21 08:39:06

Hi @BreathingDeep.

Thank you for starting this. I was just smelling my DH's morning toast and thinking"Oh I might, just this once" even though I know toast makes me binge all day long. But then I saw your thread and it gave me a nudge to make a healthier choice.

Today I will:
eat 8 portions of veg and drink 2l of water/herb tea
go to bootcamp

sylv165 Mon 26-Apr-21 08:57:06

Thanks for the thread @BreathingDeep! Today I am going to drink 2l water and start week 2 of couch 2 5k.

Treaclepie19 Mon 26-Apr-21 08:57:32

Thanks for this!
I'm back on slimming world. Plenty of water and planning to do walking and continue c25k.

BreathingDeep Mon 26-Apr-21 08:59:32

You are all awesome! And yes, this thread is definitely making me stick with healthier choices.

OP’s posts: |

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Onesmallstep67 Mon 26-Apr-21 09:13:45

Hi everyone and thank you breathing for starting this thread. I have been following the last thread and this will be a positive extension of that and all the stories others shared .
I've come through a bit of a binge stage over the last couple of weeks and have been making better choices again over the last few days. Kept myself busy and saw my DP. I seem less inclined to mindlessly eat when he is here. I also got stuck into a deep clean/ sort out of my bedroom and by being focused on that meant I wasn't snacking. In what I am trying to see as a positive move, I separated out the clothes that I can no longer fit into and put them, plus some winter stuff, into a wardrobe I don't use. Frustrating that I am at that stage but something to aim for when I can gradually start wearing some again.
In general I find being able to do my own thing food wise the best way for me. My sympathies to those of you trying to juggle family meals. I have worked really hard to not let my DDs think that being overweight is unacceptable. My younger DD is still at home (16) and she wants to lose some weight - she has my genes. So when we eat together I try to emphasise healthy choices but keep the pressure off. I feel kind of sad though that she already feels not good enough just exactly as she is. I wouldn't wish the life of mental load about weight and appearance that many of us have carried all our lives on anyone, least of all my own DDs.
Have a great day everyone.

quarentini Mon 26-Apr-21 09:15:25

Hi everyone.
Going to try intermittent fasting as of tomorrow so I can buy in healthy food today.
Also need to get some scales and to charge my Fitbit

Hohosecco Mon 26-Apr-21 09:16:27

Today I will -

Track my food
Go for a walk in the woods
Start to clear out my wardrobe that has clothes I've been hanging on to for far too long

Good luck everyone!

Belindabelle Mon 26-Apr-21 09:18:17

@BreathingDeep So pleased to see you have started this thread. Your original thread was so insightful. Normal Monday chaos here so I will come back and post more later.

Orangesandlemons77 Mon 26-Apr-21 09:20:50

I'm feeling like this too. On some meds which cause weight gain too which is frustrating.

I've had a protein smoothie for breakfast, going to make this a habit. Going swimming before lunch.

Keepitonthedownlow Mon 26-Apr-21 09:31:26

Joining if that's OK. Start back at gym/swimming today.

dubious21 Mon 26-Apr-21 09:33:30

Your original thread has already had such an impact on me - I suddenly don't feel alone with my lifelong struggle with my weight. And it's given me the courage to try 16:8 - I tend to shy away from really trying something new, I think out of fear of being hungry, of thinking I don't have the time to put effort in and out of fear of failing again. But having read so many positive comments about intermittent fasting I thought, why not, what's the worst that can happen?

I've told myself that I don't have to be perfect at it from day one, I will try it out and read about it some more and just keep trying. So far so good - life is busy which is helping me get from waking up to 11am without mainlining toast, but so far it feels almost freeing. Being able to eat "normally" in the 8 hour period (I keep an rough eye on calories so I don't over do it) and not having to think about food outside that time is such a release - and I've found that I've made better choices in what I do eat as I want it to matter and be nourishing. My aim is to stick to 16:8 during the week when my days are fairly structured (and the kids are at school), and be less rigid during the weekend. But I need to make sure that if I have a day where it doesn't quite work, I don't tell myself I've failed and should give up - I'll just try again the next day.
This thread will be fantastic, like having loads of encouraging friends, who really understand how each other feels and who support rather than criticise.

HalfWomanHalfChocolate Mon 26-Apr-21 09:44:38

Hello everyone! I’m definitely in.

I still haven’t decided exactly how I’m going to do this in a sustainable way but I think it might be intermittent fasting and mostly low carbing, but probably not wholeheartedly Fast800. I did it for a bit last year and it worked but it wasn’t sustainable for me and I rebounded... again hmm. So perhaps the basic premise of that, because I am sure I am insulin resistant so it really was a good way of eating for me, but not so hard core in the calories. I accept I’ll make slower progress but that’s okay if I can stop yo-yoing.

I completely agree about the mission to take steps every day to make ourselves feel better about ourselves. One other thing I’d like to suggest to add to the collective mission, if I may: can we live our lives now as we want to, and not wait to be thinner?

For me this means dressing better now, and also being in photos with my children. I dodge this and am hardly in any of them - if they only looked at photos they’d hardly know I exist! I feel as though I’m doing my family a disservice there and after all, it’s not as though they need a photo to reveal the fact that I am rather fat . Next weekend I will definitely get some photos of us together.

Today - trying to keep to an 8-hour eating window. That’s all. I have a ton of work to do so can’t see myself getting a long walk in. Lasagne for family dinner - I’ll skip garlic bread and fill up on salad. And no carbs at lunch.

Roussette Mon 26-Apr-21 10:07:28

Thanks for thread Breathing. You are all an inspiration for me to keep going. This thread and your last one could not be better timed for me. It's almost like a 'now or never' scenario for me given my old age.

I've just walked just under 4km and have taken some salmon out the freezer for tea tonight. I want this week to be a really good week as we're off to a friends on Saturday and I know there will be a lot of food and drink, so I am trying to counteract that starting today.

Beefstew Mon 26-Apr-21 10:41:37

Firstly thank you Breathing Deep for your original thread, I found this morning and it's made me sad that there's so many of us feeling this negativity in so many aspects of our lives caused by our body shape.
I've spent my life conscious of how I look and valuing myself by the numbers on the scales which is madness because I don't do that to other people.
It's a very lonely life,not wanting to go anywhere or do anything incase people are looking and judging you.
Even the supermarket shop makes me feel I'm being judged.
I may not succeed today in joining in but I'm gonna try .
One hour at a time..

YellowMonday Mon 26-Apr-21 10:46:12

This is exactly how I felt 12th February this year.

I completely overhauled my life on the 13th February.

Since then, I've lost 15 kilos (2.3 stone).

I don't know how to describe it, but I knew when I woke up on the 13th February, my eating had to change (exercise was pretty good already, have increase it too).

I've changed to intermittent fasting, 16/8, with a significant decrease in simple carbs.

SeaShoreGalore Mon 26-Apr-21 10:48:24

Thanks for starting the thread. I often join these types of threads, vowing to track what I eat on MFP etc, and then quietly fades out after a couple of days.

This time what has changed is that I've read Why We Eat Too Much, recommended on the other thread and I feel like I have so much knowledge now about weight set point - and its all stuff suspected instinctively for years, and now feel I know a bit more about the science. The idea that omega 6 in seed oils signal the approach of winter, so our bodies are triggered to add an extra layer of fat to help us through - mind blowing! And so helpful on how the cravings triggered by calorie deprivation/omega 6/insulin are too powerful to resist oil really helpful too.

Have started the day with a bacon and Gruyere omelette, and a cappuccino. Will be going to the local organic butchers at lunchtime and stocking up. Sunflower oil is in the bin.

altlife Mon 26-Apr-21 11:01:47

Just came across this thread. Can I join? Although I'm not good at posting consistently (sorry)

I've had a shitty few weeks and decided that I want to make a change, but too nervous to commit to anything big.

So this morning I've just done Run 1, Week 1 of C25K. I know I want to be more active / less lazy. I have a desk job so would be good to get moving again.

I've done SW in the past so going to try my best to follow it at home. Does anyone have any quick / easy recipes? I LOVE pasta and potatoes blush

I also think I need to prepare for the fact that I WILL make mistakes, and be ready to accept it and get back on the wagon instead of giving up completely for another few months.

I'm also going to try and drink more water / squash.

Reading this back it looks too ambitious but I'm going to do my best.

Good luck to everyone thanks

Roussette Mon 26-Apr-21 11:04:05

@YellowMonday
That is sooooo inspirational.

I am at the early stage of your February date and hoping for the best. I just have to do this.

I posted on the other thread... I have a reason I am focussing on. This time last year we were going on a holiday of a lifetime, I was just so excited. Obviously it didn't happen. But now we have booked again for the end of 2022 and I cannot go looking like this and hating myself I want to feel good for it. So I have 18 months for that to happen.

Roussette Mon 26-Apr-21 11:05:32

@altlife
So this morning I've just done Run 1, Week 1 of C25K

I have Run 3, week 1 tomorrow! I'll keep a look out for you and we can spur each other on smile

73kittycat73 Mon 26-Apr-21 11:12:03

Hi altlife I'm doing week 1, run 1 today too. How did it go? I'm a bit nervous about it tbh.
I'm not very good at posting consistently either, but do read it all. I have lost 1st 5lbs so far and want to lose 1stone 10lbs more to get into the healthy range of my BMI.

73kittycat73 Mon 26-Apr-21 11:12:50

Sorry, lost 2st 5lbs so far.

altlife Mon 26-Apr-21 11:18:04

Roussette

*@altlife*
So this morning I've just done Run 1, Week 1 of C25K

I have Run 3, week 1 tomorrow! I'll keep a look out for you and we can spur each other on smile


Hey @Roussette that would be lovely, thank you so much!

I'll keep a lookout for you too, it'll be nice to run 'with' someone ☺️

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