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Struggling to know where to start.

(54 Posts)
Someonesayroadtrip Tue 02-Jun-20 16:18:46

So I'm obese and need to shift some weight. I thought to myself, sure this is easy enough, so I downloaded the my fitnesses pal and started walking with some yoga. I've been really strict with myself and watched loads of YouTube videos and googled to try and figure out what's best, but I'm finding all the information very contradictory.

So I have been on my "weight loss journey" for 10 days or do. I lost 1.5kgs quite quickly the forest few days and now it's not moving. I lost some weight on my breast and arms but gained some on my thighs 🙈

I have been calorie counting and eating between 1000-1200 calories per day. So it's very frustrating that I'm not losing quicker especially this early on. Been upping my water intake, trying to stay very active, and taking vitamins etc, making sure my veg intake is 2/3 of my diet etc.

I'm not into things like weight watchers or diet fads, I've done juice fast before and I did lose a lot and maintain it for awhile but it's just a lot of work and I don't actually think it's the best long term.

Any advice or companionship on this journey would be welcome.

OP’s posts: |
Shedtheload Tue 02-Jun-20 16:38:25

You’ve lost 3 pounds in 10 days. That’s fine. If you’re obese, you can eat more than what you’re eating on your diet. If you eat that low, you’re unlikely to stick at it so it makes sense to up the cals a bit. Work out your TDEE online and subtract about 500 from that and start doing some form of exercise too.

MrsR87 Tue 02-Jun-20 16:39:12


I always think that with weight loss an approach that can be maintained in some way in the long run is always best!

You say your are eating around 1000-1200 calories at the moment? Is this considerably less that on you used to consume? If so, your body might just be readjusting to it’s new intake as in storing the calories you are in taking because it’s so many less than before. Make sure you are I talking enough calories to sustain your BMI and your physical activity.

Personally, I think a good way to start is to assess you old diet; what things can you easily lose and not miss that you can maintain in the long run? Cut a mid morning snack? Stop taking sugar? Switch to a cereal with less sugar? Stop drinking sugary drinks? Etc. One you’ve made those changes, you can then look at your cooking habits. Do you use a lot of processed and pre-prepared food? Could you start to cook a bit more from scratch? One thing I have learnt is that healthy food doesn’t need to be boring, you just need to keep at it while you get used to preparing meals etc. When I first switched from ready meals to everything being home cooked around 12 years ago, it would take me an hour to make something I can now know together in 20 mins, just because I was so slow at chopping and had to refer to a recipe for everything!

I agree that fad diets aren’t great, I think it’s much more important to change your long term attitude to food and exercise.

Have a look online for healthy recipes, you’ll be amazed at what you find!

By the way, not an expert at all...this is just my personal experience.

Good luck with everything! 😀

Someonesayroadtrip Tue 02-Jun-20 17:07:32

@MrsR87 I think my main problem is that I am used to not eating properly normally. But then I'll grab chocolate to boost my sugar when I feel faint and THEN I have no self control so I'll happily much through a packet of Jaffa cakes (or a massive dairy milk bar since lockdown 🙈), so most of the day I hardly eat unless I'm meeting someone and going out for lunch, then in the evening straight after eating an evening meal I'll start snacking AGAIN.

I starting having a protein shake on the mornings which sustains me quite well (91cals) . But today I skipped lunch as I wasn't hungry but now I'm hungry again 😂

The problem with eating more is what? Because the thing I still want is chocolate 😂 I did start having 2 squares of 80% chocolate which is great but I had spots the next day and wondering if chocolate so causing that or just coincidence.

OP’s posts: |
Shedtheload Tue 02-Jun-20 17:25:41

If you’re always really hungry you’ll be less likely to be able to stop eating when you crave food. As you have found out...
It’s slower but if you eat a bit more but enough to drop weight, you’re much more likely to have long-term success.

MrsR87 Tue 02-Jun-20 17:25:42


I sounds to me like you have the right intentions, it’s just training yourself to get in that routine.

Do you meal plan? I find that helps a lot ... I write down exactly the ingredients I need for the thee meals a day I will have and stick to my list. I’ll then buy one bar of dark chocolate, one bag of nuts, grapes, apples, hummus and carrots, yoghurts and that’s our snacks for the week...when it’s gone it’s gone.

VictoriaBun Tue 02-Jun-20 17:30:55

What would have been your average food intake in
a day (Breakfast , lunch , dinner, snacks and drinks ) and what are you eating now ?
Also some people lose better on a low fat diet and others low carb.

Someonesayroadtrip Tue 02-Jun-20 17:31:07

@Shedtheload - no, not always hungry, that's the issue, I can go ages between food. It's fairly normal for me to get to between 2-4pm before I remember I need to eat and then I'm feeling ill. So then I eat really poorly to get a quick pick me up before teatime. But my evening is spent snacking as my husband is a serious snacker but his entire family are those that eat and eat and never seem to put on weight, so it's just bad habits (15 years worth 🙈). So no, not always hungry, but NOT eating leads me to snack terribly. Like I said above, I'll then grab an entire packet of Jaffa cakes and eat the lot in one go. 🙈

OP’s posts: |
Someonesayroadtrip Tue 02-Jun-20 17:33:10

@MrsR87 - sounds good. Problem is I have 4 children and a greedy husband so I can't just buy for me 😂 I ordered some Gousto boxes to help for end of the week, but the kids love things like chilly and spag Bol which I'm trying to reduce heavy meals like that and if I make for me they they want whatever I'm having as well 🙈

OP’s posts: |
BIWI Tue 02-Jun-20 17:34:49

Sounds to me like you have a very disordered relationship with food!

Why can you not plan in/cook yourself meals at normal times? No wonder you're eating the rubbish that you are - you're hungry because you're not eating properly!

And exercise won't solve that for you I'm afraid.

Someonesayroadtrip Tue 02-Jun-20 17:40:45

@VictoriaBun before would have been long long period without eating, Never have breakfast and then snacking. If I ate lunch it would be a sandwich and crisps (maybe two packets) and probably chocolate, tea would be dinners, chilli, steak, spag Bol etc all home made but quite "heavy" meals and lots of takeaways, we had at least one a week, sometimes more, always an excuse for an takeaway 🙈, and snacking again chocolate and crisps. I would easily have two packets of crisps and a family sized diary milk in an evening.

I don't drink, I would usually have water, or skimmed milk, have had a few cans of pop since lockdown but that's unusual, obviously not since starting the healthy eating routine.

I had big portions too, so obviously that's stopped. I mean we would get two curry's, rice, side, nan and chips between us. So obviously all that has to stop. I know where I went wrong i just don't know how to fix it now.

OP’s posts: |
Someonesayroadtrip Tue 02-Jun-20 17:48:47

@BIWI yes, your right. Food is my main thought a lot of the time. When we go away it's centred around what food we are getting or where we are eating out.

Obviously the past 10 days that's not been the case though, I'm eating 1000-1200 calories and I am planning what I eat it I just can't do it as strictly as I would have liked as I have to factor in the children and what they eat. Two of them have autism and so while they actually eat quite well (we definitely are not a chicken nugget and chop type family) it is the easy to completely take away things, in fact one of my children I have to get TO eat and he teeters on underweight and his consultant wants him to keep gaining as one of the medications he is on would have to stop if he didn't and it's so hard to get him to eat.

But yes, I do have a unhealthy relationship with food. I always have, my mother likes to feed people and I guess I'm haven't dropped that "eating all my food" attitude and then I picked up a whole host of other unhealthy issues.

I've never been slim, smallest I have been in size 12-14 but was still 13 stone, I'm size 18 which is what I have been most of my adult life. I lost to size 12-14 by starving myself. 🙈

OP’s posts: |
Shedtheload Tue 02-Jun-20 17:55:41

Eating an excessively low amount of calories (probably under your basic metabolic rate) for a lengthy period of time can screw with your metabolism and make it harder to lose weight in the future. You’re also not learning healthy habits. If I were you, I’d try to eat proper balanced meals rather than protein shakes and skipping lunch. No, you won’t have dramatic weight loss but you’re probably more likely to keep the weight off.

I’m a recovering binge eater myself and I know how hard the snack thing is. Allowing yourself more food and balanced meals makes it less likely that you will give in.

Someonesayroadtrip Tue 02-Jun-20 18:58:27

@Shedtheload - thanks ... I know you're right but it's hard, I genuinely just struggle to eat properly and fit in enough or the right foods. I like the protein as it means I actually consume something. I think growing up I just didn't eat when I didn't like something and then my mum would make different things for me to eat. I remember her saying she would give me soup and micro chips for breakfast as she wanted me to eat. 🙈

I am macro counting now though, so my meals are much better balanced, I'm not perfect at it though.

There was videos I was watching saying it's good to keep gaps of 3.5-4 hours between eating as it lowers the level of cortisol in your blood but then I have no idea how to fit it all in 😂 I'd like to be able to eat a tiny amount of chocolate so that I feel I'm not deprived and I can carry on then. Not sure if I should though or keep limiting things like that.

OP’s posts: |
BIWI Tue 02-Jun-20 19:44:52

Why don't you come and join us on Bootcamp? Lots of people there who can help, support and cheer you along the way!

Someonesayroadtrip Tue 02-Jun-20 22:29:40

Great, thank you I will.

OP’s posts: |
Someonesayroadtrip Tue 02-Jun-20 22:32:21

@BIWI is it a specific thread or the low carb boot camp topic?

OP’s posts: |
BIWI Tue 02-Jun-20 22:35:03

It's here!

buckeejit Wed 03-Jun-20 10:41:32

Eeek, I'm similar OP, just looked at bootcamp - sounds great but too scary for me right now.

I've succeeded with Slimming world in the past & I really look forward to a fibre one or skinny whip with my cup of tea. Perhaps a different type of plan would be better for me, however I do look forward to weekends when I can enjoy some alcohol & crisps! I would feel really deprived if there were no treats.

I've been eating better & doing 10k steps for the last 4 weeks & have lost 8lb. It's not as much as I'd like but it's ok. I'm aiming for 2 stone off as my must do & will look at a longer term goal after that.

Someonesayroadtrip Wed 03-Jun-20 16:53:41

@buckeejit I'm with you, I think that's probably what I should do, but I'm not sure I'm mentally prepared to lose ALL carbs indefinitely yet. But I need to do something as I'm really bad at eating properly. It's nearly 5pm and I haven't eaten yet today. I need to get my head around this better and meal plan. I just get busy and forget to eat, I'll feed the children and get back to what I'm doing thinking I'll make something healthy later and then I just don't. Now it gets late and I suddenly remember I have t eaten. Now waiting on the children's and husband's food to finish cooking so I can feed them and then eat myself.

OP’s posts: |
buckeejit Wed 03-Jun-20 19:25:09

Could you do something quick & healthy? I've just had a cheese & onion omelette & a sausage (as everyone else was having hot dogs & I couldn't resist)

I feel like I spend most of my time planning & cooking food of late. Currently eating a lot of soup & salad, (lots growing in the garden) with chicken.

I love carbs but yesterday made yellow chickpea Dahl & had delicious easy flatbread with it. Omelettes & egg mayo - though am going to try having it on crackerbread instead of real bread confused

I also make greek yogurt which I have most mornings for breakfast with fruit & honey. However, full fat yogurt is so much nicer, I think I'm going to have to switch to it now

BIWI Wed 03-Jun-20 21:38:05


but I'm not sure I'm mentally prepared to lose ALL carbs

Bootcamp isn't about losing all carbs. You get your carbs from vegetables, salad and some fruit.

Someonesayroadtrip Thu 04-Jun-20 12:01:39

Ok, I can't mentally deal with losing jacket potatoes, occasional toast and access to dark chocolate occasionally. 😂

It's thinking's the the way to go, but just not there yet.

I ended up having beans on toast. Love beans on toast 😂

OP’s posts: |
BIWI Thu 04-Jun-20 13:26:38

You are, technically then, a Hopeless Case grin

buckeejit Thu 04-Jun-20 13:52:57

Haha! It's a difficult change - you could follow a slimming world type regime & change to nimble or other wafer thin bread. I'm just trying to go very easy on bready things but don't want to deny it. I love boiled egg & toast but haven't had it for weeks. Even if you had the beans with 'slimming world' chips, it might be better - less processed

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