Don't have the motivation, but hate the way my body looks!

[Leanne1191]

Hi everyone,

So I'm a 28 year old with three children all under the age of 10. I work part time too I do nights, I currently weigh 12stone 12lbs and hate the way my body looks! I keep trying to eat healthy and say ''oh I'll start tomorrow' and I do but then lose all motivation and go back to eating crap, even while eating crap in my head I'm thinking for god sakes your going to regret that and I do I feel so bad after! I just wondered if anyone had any hints or tips on how to lose some weight! I'm 5ft 6 and even though people are always saying there's nothing wrong with my body I don't feel comfortable and haven't done for a while, I did do the juice plus diet two years ago and I lost 3 stone on it! But this time round I just haven't got the motivation and I'm gutted because I felt happy in myself when I weighed 10stone 7lbs.

Does anyone else get like this?

[ploughingthrough]

You have to want to be slimmer more than you want to eat the foods that are making you gain weight.
I was about your weight and height and I have now lost almost 2 stone. I gained that weight without barely realising. I learnt that gaining weight is very easy and if I carried on eating the same way I'd easily put on more then have a high health risk. I want to be here for my children for as long as possible so I needed to control the things that I can control. Maybe you can think that way- do this so your kids have a healthy mum. Right now a stone and a half would take you to a healthy weight for you height - if you delay and delay maybe it's three stone you will have to lose and it's a bigger hurdle. Address it now while it's not a huge amount.
Juice diets and other fads won't work long term. Stop snacking, don't hoover up your kids left overs, don't eat anything after dinner, avoid chocolate, pizza, cake for a few months and be mindful of carbs. Stick to brown rice and skin on potatos for the fibre, and don't eat pasta or bread. Learn to love eggs! You can do this.

[ploughingthrough]

oh sorry I read 11st 12 but you said 12st 12. In that case 2 stone weight loss would get you at the higher end of a healthy weight and that would be a great target. It is totally do-able.

[scryingeyes]

Came here for inspiration. I am bored and when I'm bored I eat. I also like a glass of wine. This means I'm way overweight.
I am like a Rolly Polly (sp?)

I took the dogs out for a walk today and I had trouble bending down to pick up the poo. So embarrassing.

Before lockdown, I had started swimming three times a week - and I'll be back to square one now. So, in an attempt to get leaner, I am doing a pilates workout tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

[MondeoFan]

I'm 5ft 3 and 12 stone
I have trouble painting my own toenails
I was 9.5 stone and very happy so 2.5 stone needs to come off I'm currently the wrong side of 40 though so worried my age has something to do with it

[Fatted]

Seriously OP, find a new job. I used to work evenings to fit in around child care. I was permanently knackered and run down. I survived off sugar and caffeine to keep me going. I work days now full time while my DC are in school and it's made eating healthier and exercising much easier.

[annacharles111]

OP if you say and think you "don't have the motivation" to eat healthily and lose weight then that's exactly what you'll do. You'll have no motivation and will continue to eat crap.

Step back a moment and consider that you have the power to think any thought at all. Any thought, however crazy, impossible, unlikely or magnificent. Out of all of the thoughts available to you, I would suggest that "I don't have the motivation" is not serving you and shouldn't be high on the list. Because that thought drives your feelings and someone who's thinks they lack motivation will feel useless. Does that sound right?

So you need to swap out that thought. This is something you can start doing right here, right now.

So what could you think instead? It's important this is a thought you BELIEVE because I'm not talking about airy-fairy positive thinking/affirmations stuff. This is a thought you will use to redirect your brain. You may not be able to leap to "I have absolutely all the motivation in the world", so how about something like "I'm choosing to believe I have the necessary motivation." Would that work? Or "I'm willing to believe I have the necessary motivation."

Then all you do is if you find yourself saying/thinking "I don't have the motivation" you pause, and think the new thought instead.

I can take you through what to do next, but first just start becoming aware of when you think that thought and swapping it out.

Let me know if this helps and if you'd like to move to step 2!

You've got this. You really have.

[Leanne1191]

Yes I do see why you mean, thinking negative will have an impact first so for me to get the motivation I need to sort my way of thinking out!

It’s so hard, I have to work nights because of child care and it fits round my husband at the moment I suppose during the night I don’t have to eat but choose too, I could take healthier snacks and I drink loads of water anyways so that won’t be a problem. Sometimes I just think oh god sake you only live once and I wanna enjoy food but then I feel guilty straight after and sigh to myself because I regret it.

I’ve got a new dvd and I’ve ordered some dumbbells, I need to exercise too because I lack that I literally drive everywhere 🤭🤦🏼‍♀️ I know laziness!

[annacharles111]

OP, You're human. The 'caveman' part of your brain, like everyone else's, wants pleasure over pain and ease over effort. That's why it tells you "you only live once, go for it" (Oh, not helped by the fact that lots of food is full of stuff that only ignites a sense of over desire.)

But the reasoning part of the brain, the bit that does the planning, knows this is a bad idea which is why you then feel guilty straight away - because you had a plan and you gave in.

But the great thing is that you recognise that. In your latest post you say you don't need to eat but you "choose to". Many others would say they didn't need to eat but did anyway and they don't know why. You are aware it's a conscious decision. That's very positive and bodes very well.

So here's another trick. Next time in that situation why not pause first then say (out loud if need be): "I choose NOT to eat this bagel/doughnut/whatever" Don't try to simply push the temptation to eat away; you don't want to do this via willpower (just that word alone stresses lots of people out!!). Instead concentrate on your thought that you choose to not eat it. Lean into this thought. How does it make you feel? Determined? Strong? Courageous? Yes, yes, yes. Not a drop of nasty guilt in sight. Do this enough and you train your brain that this is how it's going to be from now on.

If you can start to introduce this into your life, you will start to see changes. And if you do give in on occasion, don't give up. Next time simply concentrate on the thought that you choose not to eat the food in question.

This stuff really does work. I've helped loads of people with it.

And bravo on the DVD and dumbbells. You are taking positive actions in the right direction - you just need to get that brain into shape so it knows you mean business!

[ERfitness]

I've just started a weighloss coffee changed nothing in my diet. Its stops you snacking and it definitely worked for me i lost 7lb in 3 days and i have a coffee of a morning anyway.

[Leanne1191]

Weight loss coffee? I’ve heard about that.

I think I will start this all after Easter as temptation will be all around yes I know that’s a negative Into thinking but I will start again on Monday for a fresh week, I need to shift this weight and change my eating habits I will do this! I’ll start my DVD when the dumbbells come.

[PrimeraVez]

I find seeing results gives me more motivation.

Can you commit to 7 days of eating really well and doing some kind of exercise? Don’t think of it as a weight loss thing, think of it as a personal challenge.

Once you see the results on the scale, I bet you’ll be motivated to continue and you’ll have started to break your old bad habits.

[deepwatersolo]

This won‘t be helpful, as you can‘t just switch jobs..., but what helped me was sleep. And there are actually studies that show a correlation between lack of sleep and weight gain. When I go to sleep when tired, I just don‘t need much food in the evening, I even cancel dinner sometimes. While, when I stay up late and battle sleep, I eat and eat... as if to compensate for my lack of sleep.

[CarolefeckinBaskin]

Learning what a portion actually was and viewing food simply as fuel is what helped me previously - She says looking at the recent half a stone tummy increase :) (Could do with 1 stone off tbh)
My motivation has been shot to shit lately, like others.
Normally I'm on my feet for 9/10 hours a day when at work.
I've been eating healthier the last few days and will dig out my kettle bells for monday.
Good luck OP, you can do it!

[managedmis]

Low carb OP

It'll melt offa ya