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I don't know where to start anymore

(21 Posts)
Elloello Wed 26-Feb-20 14:32:41

Ive got diet fatigue and I have no idea anymore. I've no motivation, I'm exhausted and sad. I've read all the books and I just don't know what to do. 1000 calories? No too low you'll break your metabolism. 1500 calories? It'll take you forever and you may never get there. Low carb? Too restrictive, you'll give up. Low fat? Too unhealthy and you'll always be hungry. Intuitive? Come on now. You know what'll happen... Hate running, never stick to an exercise plan.
I'm lost. Totally lost. I've basically all but given up on myself. I think I am depressed. I need help. Can anyone advise me?

OP’s posts: |
yatapina Wed 26-Feb-20 14:35:24

I'm in a similar position.

Just started on Monday and taking it one meal at a time rather than feeling like I have to try ALL the time. Breaking it down just seems to make it more manageable in my mind - less daunting.

Every little helps and all that!

cakeandchampagne Wed 26-Feb-20 14:48:48

Is there something obvious (sweet snack, second serving, etc.) you can cut back on?

CRbear Wed 26-Feb-20 14:53:28

I understand what you’re saying. I think building on what cakeandchampagne has asked- you could try logging everything you eat, everything, in an app like MyFitnessPal and identify where your focus areas should be and then make a plan from there. Are you bingeing on weekends? Maybe cut back your cals midweek and allow some flexibility at the weekend. Finishing your kids tea? Easy thing to focus on. Snacking in the evening? Don’t cut it completely but choose a calorie limit and stick to it e.g. a 100 cal curly wurly instead. Is it booze? Focus on reducing that only rather than food. Try focusing on specific areas first and see how you react? Beak down the problem and tackle it. Also- a brilliant piece of advice I heard on a podcast recently on “breaking” your diet and giving up- if you forgot to brush your teeth one night would you wake up in the morning and think well that’s my teeth ruined I’m never brushing them again- of course not! Get back on the horse and forgive yourself.

Elloello Wed 26-Feb-20 16:01:49

I'm not even sure anymore. Everything I eat seems like a problem. From toast or cereal at breakfast, Crisps and biscuit at lunch, snacks in the evening, wine at the weekend, brews with milk and sugar. There's no meal I am not overthinking things! There's no peace. I'm feeding a growing family but I have it in mind that I shouldn't eat carbs so it's constant conflict. Then I just think sod it and eat what I want. Every minute of every day feels like I 'should' deprive myself and restrict so I'm constantly in that mindset. Therefore constantly cheesed off I can't have a kit kat or whatever so have two anyway. 🙄 It's a horrible mental state.

OP’s posts: |
hpvacuum101 Wed 26-Feb-20 16:50:36

Are you gaining weight? Are you maintaining your current weight?

Elloello Wed 26-Feb-20 17:57:28

So I have floated up 2 St over the last five years while continually being 'on a diet'. So this plus another couple to get rid of. Ive been within the same 5lbs for months, fluctuating but no massive change. Im always thinking about losing weight, always. But never actually achieving anything. It's like I'm torturing myself it's ridiculous.

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hpvacuum101 Wed 26-Feb-20 18:27:11

I sympathise! What will happen if you continue to eat the way you currently do? Will you gain or maintain? If maintaining then easiest thing to do will be to simply just a meal out, be that a snack/wine/breakfast/lunch/smaller dinner etc. That way you won’t feel deprived nor have a daily battle with your inner self. Will that work?

Elloello Wed 26-Feb-20 18:33:54

I'm starting to wonder about keeping a notebook, writing everything down and what led to me eating it. So I can objectively look over a period of time and see what's going wrong and why I'm feeling so rubbish about it all the time.
If I carry on I'm bound to slowly gain.

OP’s posts: |
Paperyfish Wed 26-Feb-20 18:40:33

I completely get where you are coming from. I’ve tried and failed at every commercial diet out there. Weightwatchers, slimming world, Atkins, vlcd, Keto, advice and counselling from nutritionist, slim fast, Jane plan ....etc etc.
Today I went to shops on way to work brought 2 boiled eggs, an apple, a tin of soup, a ready meal ( a low cal one) and a yogurt. That’s all I ate today. I will do the same tomorrow. If I buy a pack of biscuits I eat all of them. If I have choices I make bad ones. I eliminated choice today and it was ok. When I did the diet delivery services I just binged by eating all the snacks on day one. Think I had about 1200 kcals all in.

Elloello Wed 26-Feb-20 19:41:22

Found a book on my kindle I bought a long time ago. Have your cake and your skinny jeans too. Have you ever read about the Ancel Keys semi starvation diet experiment where they took a load of healthy men and put them on 1600 calories a day and watched what happened.
"Does any of this sound familiar? Depression. Irritability. Food-obsession. An appetite that can’t be satisfied. All topped off by savagely beating yourself up when you break the rules. If there is one thing that we can learn from what these poor men went through, it is this: These are the natural results of dieting and food restriction."
Omg, it's me!

OP’s posts: |
Paperyfish Wed 26-Feb-20 19:45:29

Yep, ready that one too and tried the intuitive eating she suggests. Still fat!

DecomposingRat Wed 26-Feb-20 20:08:08

No help but I know how you feel. I have read all the books but when it comes down to it I just can’t stick to anything for long, the only things I haven’t tried are pills/injections or a gastric band!

Elzbells Wed 26-Feb-20 20:15:36

I'm you. Every day I wake up thinking I will start the VLCD, by lunchtime I think I should do WW, it's healthier, long term etc. I eat lunch then think, actually I will do the VLCD. But I'll start it TOMORROW.

That gives me the out to eat a family sized shepherds pie and a bottle of wine.

Tomorrow never comes, it's like Groundhog Day.

I'm sick to death of my whole life revolving around getting skinny but actually just getting fatter.

I wish I had an answer, I really do.

fromagefreak Wed 26-Feb-20 21:25:41

I have the answer. Give up sugar. Life changing. Appetite shrinks and makes dieting easy.

Elloello Thu 27-Feb-20 18:39:59

So I've eaten 'intuitively' today. 2000 cals and it's not bedtime yet! Light breakfast of cereal and brew. Chicken salad sandwich and Crisps at lunch. Then someone brought cake in. Dinner was risotto and ive had a brew. I don't feel at all deprived = good. I've already had 2000 cals=not good. I can't lose on that!

OP’s posts: |
FATEdestiny Thu 27-Feb-20 18:54:57

Chicken salad sandwich and Crisps

An estimated calorie break down of that meal:

• 1 slice of white buttered bread = 125cal
• Second slice of white buttered bread = 125cal
• Crisps = 200 cal
• Chicken salad filling = 150 cal

TOTAL = 600 calories. Three quarters of your meal is bread and crisps. Instead you could have had four times as much chicken salad, just as chicken salad. I'd have found that much more filling and satisfying for the calories.

mistermagpie Thu 27-Feb-20 20:15:50

Take a look a jamessmithpt on Instagram - very straight talking (sweary) but sound advice and motivating. He also has a book.

mistermagpie Thu 27-Feb-20 20:18:23

But yes to giving up sugar. I love sugar but I gave it up for January and by the end of the month I didn't even crave sweet things anymore. There has been a bar of chocolate in my fridge for the last two weeks (DH bought it for me) and I don't even fancy it. You should have seen the crap I was eating before as well.

BirthdayCakes Fri 28-Feb-20 09:21:01

I'm the same OP - in fact that's why I'm here..

Also, last year I started going to a personal trainer and put on 15kg -which pushed me well into the obese category.. I stopped the PT but the weight stayed on while the muscle went.. Not sure what to do..

Elloello Fri 28-Feb-20 19:30:01

I just can't restrict at all anymore. The thought of it makes me want to eat chocolate. I really think I'm a lost cause and its all downhill, I literally don't know how to pull myself out of this pit I'm digging. The internal battle and chatter is constant and exhausting.

OP’s posts: |

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