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Unsupportive partners/family

(8 Posts)
Bibidy Tue 17-Sep-19 13:58:52

Hi all,

I'm really annoyed with my OH's lack of support at the moment and wondering if anyone has been through the same?

He is constantly trying to push me into getting takeaways/eating out/drinking when I'm trying to stay on plan, and literally will badger me all day via text about getting a pizza (or whatever) that night, and even when I say no he will continue with the comments and 'jokes' all evening. He knows I'm trying to lose weight for a holiday we have coming up and yet he has still spent the last 48 hours badgering me about going out for a curry this week - even though we are out all of this coming weekend.

It's so draining and I always end up giving in because he stresses me out so much with his moaning and sulking, and then I'm just disappointed every time I weigh in and there's no loss again.

I know it's up to me to be strong and I do try my best but it's just so difficult when I feel like I'm constantly fighting an uphill battle against my OH!

Has anyone else been through this?

Awittyusernameishardtofind Tue 17-Sep-19 14:05:00

It’s so hard when your DP isn’t on the same page as you.

Would going out and eating naughty food be something that you guys normally do together? Maybe he’s missing that time with you. Could you compromise and go somewhere where you can eat a healthy salad and he can eat whatever he wants to?

Bibidy Tue 17-Sep-19 14:08:38

@Awittyusernameishardtofind

Yeah it definitely would be something we would do together, but to be honest we still do - he knows I'm more than happy to go out as normal on a weekend (weight in is Saturday morning) but he just pushes so hard during the week as well and it makes everything so hard.

You are right though, previously we would happily have got 241 pizzas on a Tuesday night and things, so I guess it's an adjustment for him. I would happily go out and get a healthier option - which I offered up for the curry he wants - but he won't accept that either cos he thinks it's a waste of time if I'm not properly 'joining in'.

Chitarra Wed 18-Sep-19 11:18:12

I would happily go out and get a healthier option - which I offered up for the curry he wants - but he won't accept that either cos he thinks it's a waste of time if I'm not properly 'joining in'

Why on earth does he care if you go out with him and have a healthy option? What difference does it make to him? Could it be that he is (consciously or subconsciously) trying to sabotage your weight loss? Maybe because he knows he should also drop a few pounds and he feels less guilty about it if you're in the same position.

I think it's time for a serious conversation about this, OP. Rather than battling with him via text message until you feel worn down, sit down with him and talk about how this is important to you and you would really value his support.

PlinkPlink Wed 18-Sep-19 12:53:16

It sounds to me like there is an ulterior motive to me, but I could be projecting so take my post with a pinch of salt.

My ex used to derail me like this. It's because he didnt want anyone else to want me... or rather, didnt want me to get fitter and healthier, and attract more male attention.

Disturbing, no?

I think you need to question why he isn't supporting you.

ChocOrCheese Wed 18-Sep-19 17:33:53

A huge part of our life as a couple is going out to eat regularly. It's not that I don't get support but that I'm not prepared to make him go through a huge lifestyle change just for me.

My approach was to go on a 16:8 eating plan. Essentially skipping breakfast, small lunch and afternoon snack and then save calories for the evening. Within that I make choices that are as healthy as possible on any particular menu and try not to drink too much. That has gone down fine (and been successful for me), but I don't get complaints about not joining in and would be very annoyed if I did.

Bibidy Thu 19-Sep-19 10:53:45

Thanks all.

I think you are right @Chitarra , I think me being more conscious amplifies how unhealthy his own diet and habits are and he doesn't like it.

@ChocOrCheese We are very similar in the respect that food is a massive part of our relationship - hence why I now weigh over a stone more than when we got together. It's just frustrating as trying to lose weight is hard enough without feeling like I'm fighting against him too.

Clipperclopper Tue 15-Oct-19 17:06:24

Dump him. Bet he is overweight. MISERY LOVES COMPANY

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