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I am absolutely disgusting and ashamed of myself

(10 Posts)
BigGreedyFatFuck Fri 05-Jul-19 14:52:20

I have never been skinny but I lost about 2 stone after DC2 was born (combination of quitting sugar and 5:2) and looked ok. Since I went back to work just over a year ago I have put it all back on. I am just lumpy horrible flab. My entire life feels out of control but with the weight everyone can see it's out of control, all my nice clothes are too tight. I have a friends wedding in 4 weeks and my lovely dress doesn't fit. How the fuck do i stop snacking/boredom eating/emotional eating other than wire my jaw shut? I know how unhealthy it is, I know it's probably going to give me an obesity related cancer, I know I'm setting a dreadful example for my DC but every time food is an option I just open my fat greedy mouth and shove it in and I hate myself for it.

OP’s posts: |
Blondiejay24 Fri 05-Jul-19 19:54:59

You say you’ve gained 2 stone, without judging, 2 stone isn’t an awful lot depending on your initial weight/ height. Yes, perhaps you feel like you’ve lost some control but you need to stop beating yourself up over it. It takes more than gaining 2 stone to get obesity related cancer! And stop calling yourself fat!
Your child will not be judging you, they will judge you on how you judge yourself and being weight obsessed is more unhealthy than gaining a couple of stone.
You need to step back and take it one day at a time. The slower you loose the weight the more likely you are to keep it off and maintain it. You probably won’t loose much in 4 weeks, but make a start and set yourself realistic achievable goals. Try and go for a walk daily and just slowly cut back on things. But you need to allow yourself some treats because the more you deprive yourself the more you’ll be tempted to binge.

vszion Fri 05-Jul-19 19:55:39

Ok so first of all take a deep breath and stop being so hard on yourself.
secondly i know exactly what you are going through, I piled on 3 stone after my son went on a diet lost it all and some and then my job changed and all my good habits went out the window like going to the gym etc which really encouraged me to not eat rubbish and im putting it all back on and also feeling rubbish however i am pregnant but im definitely using that as an excuse to eat what i want which isnt good.
i realized i eat out of boredom so every time i decided i have to eat even if i am not hungry i busy myself doing something until i forget that i was going to eat 12 packets of crisp or ill have a cup of tea.
I am having some complications in this pregnancy which means i cannot exercise at the moment but im hoping when it clears up i can at least start going swimming as it makes a huge difference.
i found it also helped that i would go to the gym or exercise with a friend as i found it a treat to get out in the evening and i looked forward to it .. do you have anyone you can go with ?

itsbetterthanabox Fri 05-Jul-19 19:59:17

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managedmis Fri 05-Jul-19 20:01:26

Good one, better.

Maybe get back in your box?

smeerf Fri 05-Jul-19 20:09:19

Enter everything you eat into MyFitnessPal before it passed your lips. The act of analysing what it is you're doing means you make healthier decisions. Worked for me (lost 3.5 stone).

Loveislandfan Fri 05-Jul-19 20:16:43

I could have written this post. I’m exactly the same.

All I ever think about is my weight and how much I’ve put on, swear it’s the end of it, then five minutes later I’m eating again. I avoid places where people will know me because I’m so ashamed of how much weight I’ve put on and everyone judging me. It is ruining my life.

Sorry I can’t really help but I just wanted you to know you’re not alone.

Whyhaveidonethis Sat 06-Jul-19 04:01:54

I just came on here to post this exact same thing. I'm not hugely overweight, but I am very overweight for me. About 1.5 stone. I've always been slightly underweight and so this accounts for nearly 17% of my body weight. My clothes don't fit, I feel frumpy and hate pictures of myself. But I can't stop eating. I literally can't seem to stop. I feel disgusted with myself. I don't want to go back to being underweight but I need to lose a stone.

mrbob Sat 06-Jul-19 04:51:14

Read Happy Fat by Sofie Hagen (or listen to the audio book because she has a gorgeous voice) and then reassess smile
Don’t let your weight take over your life and define you. Be kind to yourself.
And then start looking after yourself including getting out and walking etc which will make you feel happier and more likely to succeed if you do want to lose weight. And then think of all the yummy things you want to eat that aren’t unhealthy (my go to is watermelon) and slowly just change your way of eating a bit towards fruit and veggies and having less crap in the house. And then in a few weeks look again at where you are and it will be much easier to start a “proper diet” if you want to do it
I know that doesn’t help for the wedding but it will help for life!

MeanMrMustardSeed Sat 06-Jul-19 05:06:55

You can do a lot in 4 weeks. Read up on the Blood Sugar Diet by Dr Micheal Moseley. The science makes complete sense and is great for ‘all or nothing’ eaters. There is loads online and there are also books available. MN has whole groups / threads about following it. It’s about fast results and Dr MM debunks common wisdom about how weight loss must be slow to be effective. I suggest you read some stuff and see if it resonates with you. I think he’s amazing.

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