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How do you get and stay motivated and stop self-sabotaging?

(17 Posts)
Passwordz Fri 28-Jun-19 12:04:17

I go on holiday in 2 weeks. I’m dreading getting my blobby white flesh out.

It was booked months ago and now I’m having a last minute panic. I want to feel comfortable by the pool and on the beach and in my clothes.

Yet here I am scoffing a cake and cream bun 30 mins before lunch. Then grabbing the creamiest chicken from the salad bar, the feta, the potato salad. All stuff I know that will not help me feel better about myself.

Why am I doing this?? How do I overcome this and get into the zone? Why can’t I see hot chocolate as an anti-treat? Because in the long run it doesn’t make me feel good.


OP’s posts: |
Dungarees Fri 28-Jun-19 14:00:47

I'm the same, my holiday has been booked since January, yet here I am with 3 weeks to go and panicking because I need to lose half a stone just to feel ok.

To be fair I have been trying, and I have lost half a stone, but it's not enough, I should have started sooner and tried harder.

I have been exercising doing couch to 5k and that has helped me to eat better.

But really, as boring as it sounds, it's a whole lifestyle change and we have to want to do it long term not just for a holiday.

Passwordz Fri 28-Jun-19 15:22:42

Oh I’m sorry you’re in the same situation!

I wish I could be as committed to being good as I seem to be to being bad!

OP’s posts: |
whatthehelldowecare Fri 28-Jun-19 15:53:51

I have been doing completely amazing this week. Been hovering around 5-8lb away from goal for the last month, having lost over 2st since January.

Decided last week that I was getting back on the wagon with a vengeance and hammering it till I got to goal. Done impeccably for 4 days and today I missed the gym and I've had 2 rolls and bacon, a McDonalds. 2 packets of crisps and half a share bag of skittles 😭 I'm so full of regret 😂

mooncuplanding Fri 28-Jun-19 15:56:56

It’s not your willpower that’s the problem, this is just an entirely natural biological hormonal response to your high carbohydrate diet.

Cut the carbs, lose the cravings

Teacakeandalatte Fri 28-Jun-19 16:06:25

I don't know the answer to this in general. Wish I did! But in your case could it be that deep down you know you will be eating and drinking lots on holiday anyway and probably put back on anything you do lose in the next couple of weeks. So you are wanting to look good in your swimsuit but the other half of you is like Lets forget the stupid diet and get started on the holiday eating right now.

Steala Fri 28-Jun-19 19:21:40

My holiday is in a month. I'm bigger than I've ever been and I swore that this was the year I'd lose weight. 6 months on, look at me. I keep self-sabotaging. It's not mindless eating, it's rebellious eating. What I'm rebelling against isn't clear.

Passwordz Fri 28-Jun-19 20:55:07's rebellious eating. What I'm rebelling against isn't clear....

This is it completely.

The high carbs thing might be a point too.

Can’t my head in gear to address it though confused

OP’s posts: |
managedmis Sat 29-Jun-19 03:11:56

I agree, it's the carbs

You're on a never ending cycle of high blood sugar

RubberTreePlant Sat 29-Jun-19 03:32:13

It takes three days carb-free for the carb cravings to vanish. Could you screw up your resolve to try for three days?

RubberTreePlant Sat 29-Jun-19 03:38:18

Also look at rash vests, swim shorts, sun-safe type beachwear, if you're likely to feel exposed. Make it a positive choice and find something now that makes you feel comfortable. Then the pressure will be less and you'll feel less overwhelmed.

Passwordz Sat 29-Jun-19 06:13:14

Ok thanks. Somehow reassuring to know these are biological responses rather than just pure weakness in my part grin But I do feel mentally week. Like I’m beating myself up for being a failure and that the shame and the guilt are “what I deserve”.

Btw I’m not massive - 5ft 6 and pushing 11st. But know that I’d feel and look so much better if I was somewhere closer to 9st. That’s the longer term view, and lady year I’d said I didn’t want another summer feeling podgy. Yet here I am, probably even a few pounds heavier.

OP’s posts: |
Passwordz Sat 29-Jun-19 06:29:57

Can you help me with some breakfast ideas please? I don’t like eggs that much. Can tolerate scrambled but not every day!!

OP’s posts: |
WhoAteMyNuts Sat 29-Jun-19 06:44:15

I used to self sabotage until I read up on intuitive eating and started nodding my head to why diets didn't work for me.

It won't help you lose lots of weight for your holiday but if you want to lose it slowly and it becomes a lifestyle rather than a diet then have a read on why diets don't work for most people in the long term.

passthestraws Sat 29-Jun-19 07:36:29

Greek yogurt mixed with some protein powder and a few berries is quite a good breakfast for when you can't tolerate eggs.

whatthehelldowecare Sat 29-Jun-19 07:36:36

Breakfast wise, I usually alternate between eggs (scrambled or boiled), fruit and yoghurt and as a sensible treat I have a flatbread with some ham and a cheese slice once or twice a week too l. Bacon medallions are a good low calorie choice too, as are the chicken heck sausages for weekend big breakfasts

managedmis Sat 29-Jun-19 17:34:18

I'm 5'5 and around 9 stone 4.

Typical day's food :

2 eggs, scrambled
Bowl Greek yog and low sugar apple compote

Snacks : cheese (cottage or FF Cheddar), an apple, a few dates. Lots of coffee also and water.

Lunch : baked potato with tuna and salad, or homemade lentil and veg soup (massive bowl) with sliced ham or cheese. I eat a lot of chick pea salads with cold Grilled chicken.

Dinner : obviously this depends on the season : chicken casserole ( chicken, onion, carrots, potato, red lentils) and broccoli, meat and two veg I. E sausage, mash, carrots or pork fillet with baked sweet potato and sautéed spinach.

Summer we have loads of BBQ meat and salads, with Grilled vegetables.

I don't find I'm hungry as long as I have lots of veg, protein and some fat.

Obviously I have treats too :dark choc, most nights a glass of wine, DH makes burgers, occasionally homemade pizza.

Very rarely eat cake, crap chocolate, Mcdonalds, Chinese takeaway etc. Never have crisps as I don't like them.

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