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I'm just so fat, how and where do I start? Overwhelmed.

(215 Posts)
Fantasisa Wed 03-Apr-19 13:43:38

I'm 18stones, it has crept on over the last five years. I was previously a fit an active person.

I just do not know where to start, my size is starting to limit my activities. I can't wear any of my nice clothes, my wedding ring doesn't fit anymore etc. But I am utterly overwhelmed and don't know where to start.

I want something sustainable - I don't like things like SW/WW as the meetings make me cringe and I don't find them motivational. But I need to change and I need to change now.

I have a very, very busy life working FT and caring for small DC (when the weight piled on) and an elderly relative. I could exercise before work but I'm just so damn tired all the time. I don't even know where to buy jogging bottoms that fit, my tummy is now an overhang which is uncomfortable. blush sad

Help please! Advice or motivational stories most welcome.

OP’s posts: |
Eattothebeat Wed 03-Apr-19 14:54:57

Just quit sugar and carbs - it’s life changing - loads of threads on here about it. Good luck x

flobella Wed 03-Apr-19 14:59:11

You can do it!

Start in a really manageable way - why not keep a food diary for a few days or a week (literally shove a notebook in your bag and scribble down every time you eat something, no matter how small). After a week take a look over it and see where you feel you are overeating or where your weak spots are. So, if it seems like your meals are basically reasonable and fairly healthy but you are having a huge amount of calories as snacks then look to make some incremental changes to that in week one - e.g., replacing certain things with fruit and veg. Also look at making positive changes rather than merely depriving yourself. For example if your food diary reveals you aren’t drinking very much water or you are hardly eating any vegetables, look to address that with the aim of viewing food and drink not just as comfort or something to do but also as fuel for your body. In my experience, if you are eating a nutritious diet and your body is getting all it needs in terms of vitamins, minerals, fibre and hydration, the desire to binge or fill up on sugary foods does lessen a bit.

I really like MyFitnessPal (a free calorie counting App for your phone) but some people find it tedious to keep adding to it every time they eat but I actually don’t find it that time consuming and it makes me much more aware not only of eating excess calories but also making sure I am getting enough nutrients. You can also upload your weight and it helps you track your progress which I find motivating (although I do still go to Slimming World weigh ins - I am about 7lbs away from reaching my target weight - as I find the whole ‘public’ weigh in also very motivating. Others wouldn’t like that - we’re all motivated by different things.

If you want you could post some meals or snacks that you know you eat regularly and can’t resist but you know are very calorific or unhealthy and we could suggest some swaps or tweaks to help you reduce the calories in them? If you are feeling overwhelmed then small tweaks might be a good place to start.

Fantasisa Wed 03-Apr-19 15:22:27

Thank you for the encouragement. A food diary is probably a good idea, I can sneak a quick Penguin bar in whilst I'm hungry and making the DC's dinner without even thinking about it.

I am definitely addicted to sugar so I don't think for me it would be a as simple as 'give up sugar' as I have visions of myself like the guy from Trainspotting when he is trying to give up heroin!

OP’s posts: |
ChocOrCheese Wed 03-Apr-19 15:25:06

Exercise is good and can improve mood and willpower but the bulk of weight is lost by what you do or don't eat. I hit 17 1/2 stone before doing something about it, which was cutting down on alcohol and carbs, and on food calories in general. For me logging food intake and weighing myself daily has helped keep me on track and accountable.

Crazzzycat Wed 03-Apr-19 15:44:39

Start small! You don’t have to change everything in one go.

This is the plan I follow:

I’ve been doing this for three months now. Once you work out what fits into your calorie allowance for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks, it’s all pretty straightforward. There’s some suggestions for meals in the app as well.

I found the first week a bit of a challenge, as I was used to eating huge portions, but it got a lot easier after that.

Good luck!

Fantasisa Wed 03-Apr-19 19:09:12

Portion control isn't my problem, erratic eating is and grabbing food on the go so I think so I need to tackle that and plan ahead.

How much have you lost ChocorCheese? I don't recognise myself sad

OP’s posts: |
PinaColadaPlease Wed 03-Apr-19 19:23:40

Cutting out white bread, rice, pasta will help. Use MFP to log your calories - it's very easy to consume a lot of calories in a very short space of time (especially if biscuits and cakes are your thing) and seeing the numbers in front of you gives you an immediate awareness of how much you're consuming and also where you can cut down and seek alternatives.

Up the amount of protein you eat, it helps keep you fuller for longer. I keep hard boiled eggs in my fridge and use them as a snack rather than going for something sweet. Sometimes a teaspoon of peanut butter instead or some berries.

Make small but manageable changes to start off with and then add more changes as you go along.

Try and move more. Set yourself a target (or use a Fitbit) and make sure you hit it. Again, you can start small and build.

I am a total sugar addict but I have found that by cutting it down significantly (but not completely) I have much more energy.

Good luck!

Fantasisa Wed 03-Apr-19 19:36:09

Thanks PinaColadaPlease.

I want to be able to stick with changes I make so I think I'm going to tackle the snacking and not worry about the main meals at first. So no eating in the car, or in the evening after the DC are in bed etc. If I want to eat, I will make it something proper. I think the biscuits, croissants (quick breakfast bought on the go) etc are the biggest problem.

OP’s posts: |
TemporaryPermanent Wed 03-Apr-19 19:36:41

myfitnesspal really helps those of us who eat erratically. You don't have to do anything except write down everything you eat. I personally find it helpful to weigh myself every day. Stops the emotional build up for me - have I lost, have I gained - it's just a tool.

I've lost 20kg which is not far off four stone, though that's over 3 years and I tend to start gaining if I stop recording what I eat. I've dropped 3 dress sizes. I do a lot of exercise and yes it helps, but the core of it is eating less.

TheShiteRunner Wed 03-Apr-19 19:39:43

Why don't you start off with something small and manegable? Give up bread for a week. Then in week 2, also cut out chocolate, week 3 crisps etc.
This works for me because I am only really motivated to lose when I see it's actually coming off- and bread is MASSIVE for me.

ZsaZsaMc Wed 03-Apr-19 19:42:20

Just to say I would also find WW meetings dire but I joined online with the app and so far it’s working.

I’m not excessively overweight but have a problem with snacking but also don’t want to count every calorie. I’ve found WW online useful as it’s much general eg class of wine 5 points, banana 0 points so you’re not quibbling over calories and obsessing.

I would just sign up and start. It’s helpful to track and they’ve got on the app a sort of WW instagram so there’s lots of meal inspo and snack ideas.

When you get going you’ll find it easier - much easier that cutting all sugars or carbs I think!

NotAnotherJaffaCake Wed 03-Apr-19 19:43:19

Portion control is essential. Buy one of those plates that mark out rough areas for types of food, and a good set of scales.

Vivian143 Wed 03-Apr-19 19:49:49

Women tend to forget that a huge part of successful weight loss is a clear head. What's gone on in there?? Are you stressed, tired, fed up? All of the above. I lost 30 pounds over 5 months when I cleared my head and worked on myself first. It took 2 years of mindfulness before I even thought about what I was putting in my mouth and how much activity I was doing. I made huge lifestyle changes, e.g reduced my hours at work (just one day less) not much. Learnt how to say no to some emotional drains and gave my mind a break from thinking an hour a day. It took time but was worth it. Good luck x

AtSea1979 Wed 03-Apr-19 19:49:57

I could have written your post. I wish I could find the will power. My main issue is over eating in the evenings. I just can’t seem to stop myself. Nothing matters in that moment other than getting my next fix. I think about food and what i’m having later constantly. It’s out of control.
No advice but placemarking to see if anyone has any idea how to stop it.

MikeUniformMike Wed 03-Apr-19 19:49:58

Try starting the day with a protein-based breakfast e.g. 2 boiled eggs cooked the previous evening. If you start your day with carbs you will carve carbs during the day.
Try oatcakes instead of biscuits and chew them properly. Don't eat rice cakes as they will cause cravings.
Make your meals veg and protein based as it will keep you fuller longer.

Don't think about losing weight just getting your eating healthier for now.

Ylvamoon Wed 03-Apr-19 19:57:53

Do you have time to go for walks? A short brisk walk can help you get moving again! No special clothes or equipment involved!

EpicDay Wed 03-Apr-19 19:58:57

Please forgive me if you don’t have anything like this kind of money, but many years ago I went on a day seminar with Alan Carr (the addiction guru rather than the comedian!) on sugar and food addiction. They are expensive -
Have just checked and it’s now £279 for the day - but really I have never looked back. It’s a mixture of therapy, hypnosis and learning about how if we nourish our bodies then we are much more likely to overcome sugar addiction and avoid overeating. It was pretty life changing for me and my husband. If the course is simply not doable, there is a book although if there is any way you could afford the course it is in my view more worthwhile than a few months gym membership. I wish you all the very best - you can do this.

IM0GEN Wed 03-Apr-19 20:02:48

Cutting out snacks is great in theory . But you might be snacking because you are hungry. And your might be hungry between meals because of what you eat during meals.

So “just” stopping snacks might be tough and leave you very discouraged.

BrokenWing Wed 03-Apr-19 20:09:13

My fitness pal app is really good for logging what you are eating over a day or week and tracking weighins. I started using at new year and I've lost 2st, dropping from 19st to 17st so far.

That and setting myself mini targets of 1st by mid term, 2st by end of term etc gives me something achievable to aim for and celebrate when I reach it.

I haven't started any significant exercise yet due to mobility problems, but hoping that will change once the next stone is off.

Dippypippy1980 Wed 03-Apr-19 20:49:23

I put on 40lbs during a period of intense stress, and in the last four months have lost 20 - so half way there.

I was squeezing into clothes that really didnt fit me and just felt crap about myself.

At the start I went though my wardrobe and picked out clothes that actually fit, and bought a pair of jeans that fit, a couple of work dresses and a couple of tops. Nothing too expensive, just to make sure I didn’t dissolve into tears every morning!!

I felt a bit better. Then I started walking to work in the morning. I stopped having too much junk food in the house and learned to cook a few fast, healthy meals for tea time. I didn’t cut out anything. - that doesn’t work to for me. I love sweet food, I just need to eat less. I love bread, again just need to cut back. Any fad diets always end up with me gaining it all back.

Today I ate cinnamon porridge for breakfast, a chicken salad sandwich for lunch and chicken tortellini with tomatoe and basil sauce for tea, a banana for desert. I also had a mini fudge bar at 3pm as a treat.

I keep mini carrots and sugar snap peas in the fridge for snaking on while I cook

I am starting g to fit back into some of my old clothes - still a way to go but it’s not it too painful. I hope this new way of eating will be permanent,

Dippypippy1980 Wed 03-Apr-19 20:53:44

Oh and I found loads of great recipients in slimming world magazine.

I make an amazing salmon terriaki with noodles. Also chicken fried rice. REally filling with loads of vegetables.

Think ahead, keep healthy snacks close To hand and don’t let the yourselves get too hungry.

VelvetSpoon Wed 03-Apr-19 21:08:32

OP, I was where you are in August last year. My DC are much older but I was in a rut of over eating, over snacking and self loathing.

On 29/08 I started SW and going to the gym. As of this week I have lost 5.5 stones, gone from a size 22 to a 12-14. And I can now complete 10k on the treadmill in under 70 mins.

What works for well as following SW I also low carb, I only have pasta/rice/ potato once or teice a week max rather than at least once a day. I love snacks so have spent a lot of time working out the lowest calorie treats I can have so I get as much as possible for my 10-15 syns a day grin. I'm not a total fan of SW groups but I do find the discipline of a weekly weigh in helps keep me on track and accountable.

Fantasisa Wed 03-Apr-19 21:39:58

@Vivian143 - all of the above! DD has special needs and didn't sleep through the night until she was 4. That is what start the mindless consumption of sugar as an instant energy boost. And now I don't know how to stop.

@Dippypippy1980 - that's encouraging. I am not motivated by carbs, it is the snacking and specifically sugar based snacks which are the problem. I definitely need to plan more, sometimes I will skip dinner because the DC have eaten at the childminder's and just graze which obviously means overall I consume more calories.

@VelvetSpoon Well done! I hope I can be posting something similar in a few months!

OP’s posts: |
bumblenbean Wed 03-Apr-19 21:45:21

I too am hopelessly addicted to sugar OP. I was a slim size 10 until about 6 years ago when I started to put on weight and 2 pregnancies have just made it worse.

Like you I couldn’t face just cutting out sugar so I’ve been doing the ‘blood sugar diet’ Intermittently - say 2 days a week, and have lost over a stone even eating normally (with some treats) on other days.

I find I can (just about!) get through the tough 2 days knowing that it’s only 2 days and I can eat normally the rest of the week.

Still got a long way to go as am still eating too much crap on ‘non diet’ days and still need to lose 1.5 stone,but it might be a way for you to kick start things?

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