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BigMoFos w/c 6 July

(53 Posts)
WigWamBam Fri 06-Jul-07 12:47:12

New thread

WigWamBam Fri 06-Jul-07 19:20:28

<sits in corner twiddling thumbs, watching tumbleweed roll past>

JackieNo Fri 06-Jul-07 20:20:23

Wow - well done you three - fab results.

Sorry - has been v busy today - work, then helping DH finish off building DD's new cabin bed (mahoosive), then DD to ballet, then making DD's new bed, and re-making her old bed that she's now passed on to DS (who's definitely on the mend, thank goodness). And now, finally, we should get to see the final episode of Doctor Who, which DH has tried to record via his computer unsuccessfully both other times it's been on.

TigerFeet Fri 06-Jul-07 21:33:15

Wow, Whoops, well done

<hides paper crown from dd who will surely half inch it>

Glad to hear ds is on the mend JackieNo

Semi-successful arse kicking this week then, shall we try it again?

littlemisssensible Sun 08-Jul-07 08:06:43

Well done Whoops thats brilliant, and well done to tigerfeet and WWB too!

I'm up early because I seem to have a bout of hayfever (or possibly a summer cold!?!) and its really annoying me because we're not going to church today so I could have had a lie in for a change!!!

katybump Sun 08-Jul-07 13:04:31

Can i join you? i want to lose three stone. Been doing bit of everything and have lost two stone but i'm stuck . I need all the help i can get

whoops Sun 08-Jul-07 21:38:13

Thanks
I was ill though which caused the mamouth weight loss
Not sure anything will go this weekend as have been at a hockey tournament and the only available food is from a burger van [bluergh] Oh well lets hope I burnt a few calories whilst playing!
littlemiss my ds seems to have developed a cold and he is supposed to have sports day and he keeps saying he doesn't think he'll be well enough to go!

littlemisssensible Mon 09-Jul-07 09:54:45

Whoops!

I'd have used anything as an excuse to get outr of sports day when I was little! I'm not renowned for my sporting prowess, just my eating prowess!

I hope your ds is feeling better today!

MrsJohnCusack Mon 09-Jul-07 10:21:50

hello katy!
of course you may join
will go and dig out the MoFos mission statement and post it up for you

I am having a weird week
DD has been very sick for probably the fist time ever, and I was sick too last night and feel terrible today but keep craving total and utter crap

eating is all over the place but not out of control....yet

congrats whoops

katybump Mon 09-Jul-07 10:52:01

Thanks mjc hope you feel better soon

MrsJohnClaireCusack Mon 09-Jul-07 10:54:51

can't find it
hopefully someone else will be able to and bung it up here

but the rules are....there are no rules. This is 'bite' club...

TigerDorothyFeet Mon 09-Jul-07 10:59:00

Hi katybump and welcome

Sorry you're feeling poorly mrsJCC, and poor dd too. I think this thread must be suffering from Sick Building Syndrome or something, we are all dropping like flies (all disgustingly healthy in the Feet household I hasten to add <smirk>)

Eating... gone to pot... tb completely and utterly h I am feeling very down on myself for not keeping it under control. More kicking please ladies

katybump Mon 09-Jul-07 11:14:41

I hate rules. As soon as someone tells me i can't eat something i want it . Thanks for the welcome and feel free to kick my backside when needed

WigWamBam Mon 09-Jul-07 11:32:35

I could kick you if you want, Tigerfeet ... I suspect a sympathetic ear might be a bit more useful though. You OK?

Welcome, Katybump. You want the MoFos creed? You got it ...

Most of us have a very long way to go in terms of losing weight, and we started the thread because of that, although it's more about attitude to weight and food than about being very large. The BigMoFos are about attitude as much as anything: some of us were cheesed off with 7 stone people posting about being bloaters, and whingeing because they needed to lose 4lb and how hard it was. We just wanted a place where people understood how large people feel, and where we could feel supported in a way that those 7 stone people couldn't manage to support us.

We do a weigh-in on a Thursday (the weights are usually posted on a Friday), but not all of us weigh in. Some just follow the thread for support, whichever you would feel more comfortable doing. It's all pretty free and easy but it seems to work. Email is bigmothers@hotmail.co.uk if you want to join the weigh-in, otherwise just hop along for the ride.

Our rules: No beating yourself up (we will do that for you if necessary). Each week is a new week and you leave last week’s problems behind. No pedantic grammar corrections (unless what you typed really doesn’t make sense) we are quite smart and will work out what you mean.

<Rubs hands together with glee at the thought of someone willingly proffering their arse>

TigerDorothyFeet Mon 09-Jul-07 11:46:22

WWB, thanks for the offer of an ear and a kick, I need both atm

I am getting heartily sick of myself and my attitude to eating. I'm desperate to lose weight but I can't seem to stop shovelling food in. I'm not even hungry a lot of the time. I am going on holiday in three weeks, another holiday spent feeling like the biggest whale on the beach. I need to lose it for dd's sake, my Mum was overweight when I was little and I remember wishing I had a slim active Mummy like all my friends - I don't want that for dd.

I lost a bit last week but I rather suspect that's all gone back on.

Am under a bit of a black cloud atm really.

WigWamBam Mon 09-Jul-07 11:58:05

I know how horrible that feels because I get that way too - hating shovelling it all in, but shovelling it in nontheless. I was on here a couple of weeks ago beating myself up about it.

This week I've been much better, and I think it's because I've been taking it day by day rather than looking at the bigger picture - which just depresses me. Today I choose to eat well - and in fact on some days it's been hour by hour rather than day by day - for this hour, I choose not to eat badly. If I still feel crap in an hour's time then I'll have something in an hour's time ... and generally by that time the feeling has passed. If it hasn't then I've indulged it, but I've found that more often than not I haven't needed to.

I don't want a beached whale as a mummy for my dd - although she loves and accepts me as I am and has never been embarrassed of me ... yet. I suspect that time will come though, and she is the reason I want to really pull my finger out and shift this.

I can send you an incentive photo if you like ... you can stick a picture of me on your fridge to warn you of the horrors to come if you keep shovelling it in

TigerDorothyFeet Mon 09-Jul-07 12:14:28

I remember your posts a couple of weeks ago WWB - really struck a chord.

I think that my eating problems are so deep rooted that I might have to look at professional help. My self worth is at an all time low atm and it's almost as if I am punishing myself, I don't deserve to feel well and healthy so I will make sure I don't. Sounds pretty extreme and I feel very odd writing it all down but it's kind of cathartic too.

I would kick myself up the arse but due to various ailments partly due to being overweight, I can't

WigWamBam Mon 09-Jul-07 12:46:14

It doesn't sound extreme. It sounds familiar.

I could have written it myself, and if you look over the old MoFos threads, self-worth and not deserving to be slim and healthy comes up again and again and again. As does the fact that some of us sabotage our own weight-loss attempts - for just the same reason.

But you know, at the risk of sounding like a crap cosmetics commercial, we are worth it. And our children are worth it to; I don't want to drop dead with a heart attack before my daughter is 12 - but if I carry on the way I am, that's exactly what I'll do.

There is only one person who can change the way I am around food, and that's me. I often think that I could do with some professional help but (a) the GP won't refer me and (b) I can't afford to pay for it myself. But if you can get onto an NHS waiting list for a few sessions then grab it with both hands. They will only allow you a limited number of sessions, though, and the waiting list could be very long, so maybe a bit of self-help for now? Don't laugh, but I have started to look myself in the eye in the mirror every morning and tell myself "I love you" or "You're a lovely person". Positive affirmations. It's a start ... maybe somewhere along the line I will say it and truly mean it, and I think that's part of the secret with self-esteem. Worth a try, do you think?

littlemisssensible Mon 09-Jul-07 13:29:32

Definately worth a try WWB!

I've been doing that for a while and it has helped! I'm almost beginning to believe myself, although it feels really weird to talk to myself in the mirror! I'm still not convinced when my DH says the same sorts of things though, he tells me often how much he loves me and how gorgeous I am but I always feel that he's just saying it to keep me happy

I guess that just proves that I'm not there yet!

katybump Mon 09-Jul-07 13:48:12

I know that feeling well.DH is always paying me compliments but i just shrug them off or laugh at him. It's hard to believe it when i feel like a heifer

WigWamBam Mon 09-Jul-07 13:56:32

Dh says the same thing, Tiger. It's very difficult to believe when you're 12 stone overweight.

Katy, you can stop that right now! You are not a heifer. Come and stand next to me; that'll make you feel slimmer

Seriously, we try not to call ourselves names like that on these threads. We'll kick your arse for you as often as you like, but we won't have you calling yourself names.

I think that not accepting compliments isn't really to do with weight, it's to do with self-esteem again. Women on the whole are pretty crap at accepting compliments, regardless of shape and size. First we need to like ourselves, and actually the more I think about it the more I realise that we have to do that now; we have to like the person we are underneath regardless of how we look or what we weigh. If we don't like ourselves all that much, losing weight won't change that.

TigerDorothyFeet Mon 09-Jul-07 14:03:56

Well I have just been to the loo (am at work) and tried being nice to myself in the mirror, AND I COULDN@T DO IT!!!!

says a lot doesn't it.

I have some work to do here I think....

I don't know why I don't like myself. I am doing well at work, my dd loves me, dh & I have rocky patches but we are still together, we have a house and enough money to get by. What's not to like? I don't get it.

WigWamBam Mon 09-Jul-07 14:09:44

It is hard. You're having to break years and years and years of conditioning that's made you think like that.

For me that was years and years of my mother not liking me very much - I've been away from her for over 20 years and I still haven't broken that yet.

What about a slightly easier thing then - tell us three positive things about you. Could be anything - nice hair, kind to old ladies, pretty ankles - just three positive things about you that you can write down (and I do understand that's not easy either!). Small steps to get used to being nice about yourself - then maybe it will be easier to be nice to yourself.

TigerDorothyFeet Mon 09-Jul-07 14:22:13

pretty ankles pmsl my ankles are like tree trunks (I know, I know, not in the spirit of what we are trying to do here!)

Three things...

I am a good listener and people value the advice I give (shame I can't give myself a good talking to!)

I am good at my job (when I'm not mn'ing)

I love writing and am fairly good at writing anecdotal stories.



It took a while to write it tbh but there is definiely good stuff there

WigWamBam Mon 09-Jul-07 14:26:47

I know, the ankles things was a red-herring

So there's a start. Maybe the next time you look in the mirror you can tell yourself those three things - or even just the first one, because that's a pretty fabulous thing to be. Or perhaps think of some positive affirmations around them (sounding a bit hippy there but you know what I mean).

This is all getting a bit amateur psychologist now, isn't it

Katy, you still there? I haven't put you off, have I?

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