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Why have I let myself get like this

(14 Posts)
howhowhow Thu 21-Feb-19 14:55:05

I'm fat. Really fat. I have no idea why I have let myself get like this. I've been on a diet since 2 Jan and have lost 1 stone 10lbs but that just brings home to me how disgusting I have let myself get.

I still have another 4 stone to lose really and it feels like a monumental mountain. I put it on gradually but I'm a hideous version of myself. I try not to look in mirrors and am deeply shocked whenever I see a photo of myself.

I wondered if anyone else was in the same boat.

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mondaysaturday Thu 21-Feb-19 17:18:02

Hey, it's ok. Seriously, it's going to be fine. I really let myself go after pregnancy and it's really horribly tough at the starting stages of trying to address a problem, but you're doing it, you're a fifth of the way there already and you will get there.

For me, I still have a long way to go but I've found exercise really helped. The more exercise I did and the more I focused on what my body could do, instead of how it looked, the more I just felt naturally inclined to eat less shit.

I stopped viewing myself in terms of how my clothes fit and started viewing myself in terms of how far I could run, how much weight I could lift and started looking at making improvements there and honestly, it's such a healthier mindset than where I was previously.

Try to approach this from a place of self love instead of self loathing, set yourself challenges and get out and exercise (even if it's just walking a little bit further every day) and I promise it will all be so much easier.

ChocOrCheese Thu 21-Feb-19 17:28:41

I was in the same boat 5 years ago. I'd put on gradually and actually had not the faintest idea quite how vast I was. Photos were always a shock - the mirror was not quite so cruel. Self-delusion - ain't it grand?

I shed 4 stone and gradually put two back. Two years ago I took up weights, loved them, and became determined to lose the weight. Got rid of the two, and another one. I'd like to shed a further stone but am busy concentrating on muscle and the weight can do what it does for the moment, so long as I don't put on fat.

Exercise does not help much in shifting large amounts of weight - only controlling food sensibly can do that imo - but exercise really got me into the right mindset to want to eat properly. So yeah, basically I echo what mondaysaturday has said.

Well done you for starting the journey. Keep going. You can do it.

Milicentbystander72 Thu 21-Feb-19 17:34:41

Yes OP. I feel very much the same, except you've lost some weight already and I haven't.

I have at least 5 stone to loose. I'm currently 16.5 stone confused

I don't know how I got like this - except I do. I obviously eat too much.

I cook from scratch nearly everyday. I walk the dog for 2 hours every morning. Yet, here I am.

I'm 47 and over the years I've tried literally every diet. I never stick to them. The only one I've ever had any success with is Slimming World where I lost 2 stone. But then just put it all back on again.

I really don't recognise myself. I feel like a kind of inflatable version of me where I feel mentally very fuzzy and confused.

I've just rejoined SW online (I REALLY can't do the local classes). We'll see.......

howhowhow Thu 21-Feb-19 22:44:45

Thank you all for replying. I finally woke up to how enormous I had become when my husband told me that one of his colleagues had called me a fat bitch and commented that my dh could do much better. It took me a few months to stop being cross - I knew I had put in a bit of weight but in all honestly I had no idea how fat I had got.

I stood on the scales on 2 January and nearly died of shock when I realised I was 15 stone 13lb. I honestly had no idea I was that heavy and if you had asked me I would have said around 13.

I have to do this for me and my children. There Are hardly any photos of me with them. I used to be really into fashion and was well presented and now I just look a dowdy mess. I don't like going out in the evening as I always look horrendous.

I just can't work out why I didn't go on a diet 2 years ago. I'm keeping a food diary and it's made me realise how much crap I was eating mindlessly, generally whilst looking up low thyroid symptoms that I was convinced were the cause of my weight gain. Utterly deluded. It's such a bloody slow process.

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SimplyPut Thu 21-Feb-19 22:56:14

You are not alone. I sometimes catch sight of myself and the person I see is not the person I am.
I have a handsome fit husband and I am top of my game in my profession but I am stressed, overeat and therefore get tired and dodge exercise. I am stuck in a fifteen stone seven pound vicious circle so yesterday I rejoined WW online.

Currently sat meal planning for the coming week!

Tennesseewhiskey Fri 22-Feb-19 06:56:09

I would say you are me.

I got on the scales on January 2bds and weigh 2 stone more than I thought I did. I was devastated. The only time I have weighted this, was while I was heavily pregnant. I knew I had out weigh on. Didn't have any idea it was that much.

I go on holiday for the first time with Dp in august and I am dreading it. I have worked out that I need to lose 2.5lb a week to be by target weight by then. Which is a lot to consistently lose.

But I look at the last 3 year's and forgiven myself. I left an abusive marriage, slept on a couch for 10 months with my kids, had to leave my job and move area, got myself a house, got the kids settled and had to find a new job as a single parent.

I neglected myself completely. I met DP and on our nights together, both exhausted, fell into the 'can't be arsed shall we get a takeaway trap.

I have lost 1stone 4lb so far. And it's actually made me more annoyed at myself, that I have lost alot but still have so much more to go. 5 years ago, a stone would have made me skinny.

My kids will always come first, but I have put myself up higher in priorities. Tracking everything I eat, is time I take for myself. My walk at lunchtime is time for me. Making a healthy dinner is time for me. 3 months ago, time for me was when the kids were in bed and I sat with a big mug of hot chocolate and a huge bar of chocolate. Now my time for me is things going towards my weight loss.

It's working and today me and Dp are going for a long walk (I am off work) and Dp is being really encouraging. I only (I say only, but it's good) list 2.5lb this week. I wanted to lose more to be in front of the average of 2.5lb a week. He hugged me and told me how great it was and to stop beating myself up then ran me a nice bath.

OP, you put the weight on. You can't change that. No point beating yourself up about it now. Focus on the future and what you are achieving everytime you eat something that it helping towards your goal. If you have a bad day, remember all the good ones you have. Just keep focusing on where you want to be and good luck.

Shouldbedoing Fri 22-Feb-19 07:01:17

OP I'm aghast that your husband thinks it's ok to relay to you what his colleague said.
Does your husband treat you with respect?

howhowhow Fri 22-Feb-19 09:48:59

Should generally yes. He was actually telling me because he wanted to distance himself from that man and as he frequently came to our house I would have wondered what the problem was. But he (my dh) also has an alcohol problem so I suspect that he doesn't actually remember telling me.

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howhowhow Fri 22-Feb-19 09:51:50

Tennessee yes that is exactly it - I haven't always been fat but somewhere along the line I started eating massive takeaways and ice cream and other things that make me feel totally ashamed of myself - and stopped looking in the mirror.

To think I have nearly lost 2 stone. If I had gone on this diet after I had my first child I would be underweight now.

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LooseSeal2 Fri 22-Feb-19 09:59:01

Sending positive vibes!

I don’t need to lose quite as much, ideally 2.5 stone but I’d be happy with 1 at this rate. Hate avoiding photos with dc 🙁

I’m very inactive due to chronic pain but because of feeling sorry for myself I seem to eat all day long.

Surfingtheweb Fri 22-Feb-19 10:01:08

Don't be hard on yourself, you have done incredibly well to lose what you have, you didn't put on weight over night & you won't lose it overnight. Just be consistent in what you are doing. Make sure you have a calorie deficit everyday & add exercise, you can do lots at home with some dumbbells & YouTube videos. Try to be positive & enjoy the changes & results you are getting rather than thinking about how much more you need to lose.

lpchill Fri 22-Feb-19 10:01:57

I'm current 14.3 stone. I need to be on the lower end of a normal BMI so I need to hit 9kg (I don't think I've ever been that weight). I've had issues with my knees right from high school but after loads of investigation the doctors are coming up with nothing and have just said to lose a lot of weight, improve health and strengthen the leg muscles. I've gained the weight well. The only place you could tell I was fat in my mummy tummy. I know I gained this weight from having my daughter and health issues surrounding it.

I've joined slimming world, tracking what I eat, eating less and no crap, out are large plates in storage and only eating off large side plates to reduce portion sizes and contacting a personal trainer to get a programme that I can do at home and gym that doesn't destroy my knees and takes into account the certain exercises I am unable to do. (Due to operations)

howhowhow Fri 22-Feb-19 10:12:11

I I am also 14 stone 3 lcphill!! I'm 5'8'' another 4 stone will take me to just over 10 which is very slim on me. But even a stone will make me look much better overall. I had got so big that even my arms were fat. My wedding ring is still a bit tight so I'm looking forward to that loosening off. Early days of a diet the loss is quick but even being really strict I'm only losing around 2lbs a week now - but better to be on the diet and losing that 2lb I guess.

OP’s posts: |

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