Hate myself!

(38 Posts)
Punta Sat 05-Jan-19 07:51:13

I’ve put on. a huge amount of weight in the last couple of years. I think it stems to both my parents dying from cancer in the last 3 years - one died and then months later found out the other was dying too. Had a horrendous time! I’ve been self medicating on alcohol, sugar, crap food and I no longer recognise myself when I look in the mirror.

I was -at worst- a 12-14 (5’ 7”) so was comfortable at that size. I am currently size 18 and I hate my boobs, belly etc.

I am not looking for a quick fix, and have found I always low carb worked for me in the past. I think I’ll be able to give up the sugar, but I can’t manage without some kind of bread in the morning as I love eggs for breakfast too.

What would be some other good ways of getting healthier? I had kombucha the other day which I really liked. Sorry for the ramble - crap night’s sleep again and just want to sort myself out.

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Punta Sat 05-Jan-19 07:52:18

Just to add...I am definitely binging on sweets and white wine the most. How can I reverse that damage?

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NotToday1601 Sat 05-Jan-19 07:59:21

Following as I am in a similar position with rapid weight gain due to eating my emotions sadly.

I am so sorry for the loss of your parents it sounds like you've really been through the mill. Be kind to yourself as what you've been through is traumatic.

Similar to you I was a comfortable 12-14 but have slid into a 16 and know it won't stop there if I don't take action quickly. Have been cutting down on treats and where I really want something I have half rather than the whole lot (I know that's not going to achieve miracles but it's a start). I also want to begin eating more nutritionally and reducing carbs as I know that's where my problem lies.

Hope someone can come along with some advice for us both smile

Punta Sat 05-Jan-19 08:42:44

I’ve just come back from holiday and I’ve eaten total crap for two weeks. It also involved a long drive back, so I’ve literally been stuffing crisps and sweets in my face.

I’ve just had enough now. No food in the house, so I will go to the supermarket this morning and get good stuff. Will need to make sure my DH doesn’t start wanting to eat rubbish. Fortunately, I don’t like chocolate so he can at least have that in the house as his treat.

I need to wean myself off the refined sugar and wine. I’ll look for a healthier alternative for bread eg seeded, whole meal (which I like). Might even make my own.

I have been following Davinia Taylor on Instagram. She seems a bit obsessed but has some great tips for health. I will try and find some kombucha today and swap that for wine. If not, some other ‘fancy’ drink I can stick in my wine glass tonight.

I hunk the next few days will be tough for me.

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OohOohMrPeevly Sat 05-Jan-19 08:49:14

You can get high protein low carb bread on amazon and ebay which is pricey but really good and still allows me to low carb and lose weight. If you're coming off the sugar then raspberries really help as they just take the edge off it without spiking your blood sugar and making you crave bad things.

OohOohMrPeevly Sat 05-Jan-19 08:50:49

Also try gin and slimline tonic with lots of ice and wedges of lovely things like grapefruit or lime or a few raspberries. If you've got one of those lovely goldfish bowl type gin glasses (like a big round wine glass) it seems even nicer.

WhatNow40 Sat 05-Jan-19 09:16:37

15 yrs ago I was a size 22. I wanted a baby more than I had ever wanted to lose weight previously. I lost 7st and was a size 12. Took years to get pregnant, eventually succeeded with IVF.

I lost the baby weight and kept it off but then had sudden health issues and became disabled. Activity levels dropped off a cliff. I ate and drank more to cope. Lost my job. Had to accept I will never have another child.

I'm now a size 18, with jeans straining at the seems. It needs to change. I need to change this, again for my son. I want to be in his life for as long as possible and my weight is going to shorten my lifespan. I might never get to know my grandchildren at this rate.

I'm with you ladies. I'm ready to do this!


Punta Sat 05-Jan-19 10:36:53

Thanks all.

I will give the gin a swerve as I don’t have a healthy relationship with alcohol. I’m better off without it and have gone for long periods tee total. My problem is is that I won’t have a drink for months then think I can drink moderatelty, so I try and then I’m right back to square one. I like ice tea, so will drink that if I can’t track down the Kombucha.

To start me off, I have had granary toast with avocado mash, poached egg and a few pomegranate seeds on top (just went to the supermarket). Will make soup for lunch and have a chicken and a few new potatoes for dinner. I know it’s not totally low carb, but I have always been able to eat new potatoes in moderation.

My size 18 jeans are currently straining round the waist band too - always pack the weight on around my middle, which is the worst place for it to go!

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ppeatfruit Sat 05-Jan-19 12:01:17

The answer is Paul Mackenna 'I Can Make You Thin' (i dislike the title, I'm slim now and maintaining not thin. I didn't want to be thin grin)

The reason why it's soooo good is that it deals with our emotional attitude to food. He suggests we ACCEPT ourselves first and he shows how easy it is to re educate our eating habits (eating\chewing slowly, sitting down, not in front of a screen etc. etc.) You can get the apps dvd, cds etc.

It works btw grin

ppeatfruit Sat 05-Jan-19 12:02:55

Punta You mustn't hate yourself grin You're great, especially to stay from alcohol grin

WhatNow40 Sat 05-Jan-19 12:03:52

I've chosen to do a VLCD as disability means I'm unable exercise and my general mobility is poor. I just can't eat as much as a 'normal' person any more. I'm aiming for 600-800 cals a day for first 4 weeks then even it out at 750 cals for around 3 months before beginning to eat meals again. I probably need about 900 to maintain weight once I'm smaller and with same mobility levels. 😟

On the plus side, I've lost 3 kgs this week. It's my first week, started New Year's Day!

Punta Sat 05-Jan-19 12:44:17

I don’t find it easy to stay away...I’ve been 1-2 bottles every night over a Christmas! I don’t have a hangover today due to driving last night, so hopefully won’t feel the need to have some wine tonight to sort me out.

I tried a VLCD a few years ago because I wanted to drop some weight before my wedding, it did work but I didn’t find it sustainable in the long term. And I want this to be a healthy change.

I’ll try the a Paul McKenna. I paid for SlIm Pod ages ago so might see if that is still active.

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Punta Sat 05-Jan-19 12:46:10

Thanks you ppeatfruit. I hate myself at the moment because I know I am SO much better than this. Doesn’t help I am at that tricky mid 40s age where I have suddenly started to age. I have always looked much younger than my really ago, but I’ve really let things slide.

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ppeatfruit Sat 05-Jan-19 12:54:08

I usually eat healthily but I still needed the Paul Mc to lose the weight that creeps on! I've been on it for years! You can just go on and off.

ppeatfruit Sat 05-Jan-19 13:02:30

Alcohol is just empty calories, caffiene is not much better. I lost half a stone just giving up one cup of ground coffee a day!!

Punta Sat 05-Jan-19 13:10:28

I love Lady Grey tea - not sure I can give that up too! I weaned myself off caffeine once, it was like having the flu. I’ll get myself off the sugar and alcohol first 5hen see how it goes.

Not only is the alcohol full of empty calories, I end up eating loads of rubbish the next day because I feel ill. I know it’s bad for me, and I know I have a problem.

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Punta Sat 05-Jan-19 13:10:59

I bought some Pukka detox tea bags this morning and I like them.

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ppeatfruit Sat 05-Jan-19 13:21:51

Oh yes I like Pukka teas too, I love the 3 ginger one. When I watch telly in the evenings ( I need to stop eating from 7pm to 9am when I'm speeding up my weight loss!!) I have a nice hot chicory drink with a ginger tea bag and a tiny amount of molasses as a sweetener, it's actually nice and removes the cravings grin

That reminds me I need some mint ones!

WhatNow40 Sat 05-Jan-19 13:50:23

I rarely drink and am caffeine free. I'm 40 this year and feeling really low. I won't go back to caffeine again as I know how shit it was coming off it.

I have 2 days off planned for a meal and a brunch to celebrate my birthday. I feel so weak willed today. I want to demolish the freezer and eat everything!!!

Punta Sat 05-Jan-19 13:56:47

Alcohol is definitely my Achilles heel! I never really used to eat sweet things, but I started binge eating it when my mum was dying and haven’t been able to stop.

For lunch today, I made a carrot, pepper and coriander soup with added lentils and turmeric. Lovely! I just need to get back into good habits.

Dinner is roast chicken, new potatoes and cauliflower / broccoli.

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WhatNow40 Sat 05-Jan-19 16:48:33

That sounds lovely! I really enjoy big salads, all veg, and a tiny drizzle of dressing. I was eating this 2 x a day with a slim fast shake for breakfast plus 4 pieces of fruit each day as snacks. I put on 10kg in 3 months. I really like good healthy food I just can't move much to burn it off. VLCD is the only way for me.

ppeatfruit Sat 05-Jan-19 16:59:26

The thing with molasses is that it's the only healthy sweetener, I hate the chemical ones, even zxylitol (sp?) didn't agree with me, dh has it but it doesn't seem to help him.

Eating his main meal much earlier, giving up 3 of his 4 coffees a day has helped plus when he's on Lent (off the booze) he ALWAYS loses (he has a lot to lose) grin.

WhatNow Do you have an injury or arthitisy complaint?

ppeatfruit Sat 05-Jan-19 17:02:35

I have a homemade onion soup in the fridge, I love soup because with a good yeasty stock like Marmite it's always filling.

Punta Sat 05-Jan-19 17:09:32

Onion soup taste’s nice - never made that before.

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Punta Sat 05-Jan-19 18:38:01

I mean sounds like it tastes nice!

Just having a Becks Blue - found them in the fridge from my last aborted teetotal phase!

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