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I get a physical high from eating shit food

(142 Posts)
Elephantina Thu 29-Nov-18 17:47:57

I have name changed because I’m about to share details that I have never spoken about out loud before.

I am 46 and class 2 obese with about 4 stone to lose. My story doesn’t really matter, although it is much the same as anyone else who has followed a binge-diet cycle for 30 years.

The fact is, I LIKE shit food. Sugar and carbs give me a deep-down purr of bliss, contentment and well-being that nothing can match. Without it life rumbles along fine, but I feel empty and irritable and gloomy and I get terrible IBS symptoms when I’m eating properly. It’s not even the act of eating it – eating it is good, yes, but the THOUGHT of eating it, of having the choice and space to eat it without judgement (i.e in secret), is even better. Like downing a glass of cool water when you’re desperately thirsty, in over 30 years I have found nothing that beats the absent pleasure of it.

I need to find something to replace the high that it gives me – that’s obvious to me without a £60 per hour therapist. Obviously I have lost weight through diet and exercise a hundred times before, but I haven’t dealt with the need to get lost in the comfort and the buzz of eating the food so it always comes back.

I don't enjoy being fat and it irks me that my problem is plastered all over me for everyone to see - I'd prefer to be slim and fit of course. But I quite like myself as a person, I'm all right I think, even if I am fat. I had a health check recently and all is well, I am not pre-diabetic and cholesterol and pressure is low. I don't have any joint or mobility issues, my only health problem is chronic migraine.

I can diet, I know what to do and the mechanics/biology of weight loss. But it won't work unless I can stamp down the yearning for a high.

Has anyone achieved it? None of the definitions I have read around "food addiction", binge-eating disorder, and so on, seem to fit what I do.

2019Dancerz Sat 05-Jan-19 18:22:22

Interesting thread. I don’t think I have physical cravings for sugar so I don’t think these diets will get to the route of the emotional craving. Half read a book once called Brain over Binge and really should look it out and finish it.

Babygrey7 Sat 05-Jan-19 18:26:23

Interesting that it gives you a high OP

Eating too much sweet stuff, or a takeaway give a me a "low"... I feel sluggish and slow and a bit down when eating crap food

A bit is nice, but eating too much sugar or fatty food makes me feel.nauseous, gives me heartburn and then I feel sad and gassy grin

Interesting how people can respond so differently (physically or emotionally) to food

Elephantina Sat 05-Jan-19 21:21:20

That article is fascinating Whatchathink, thank you for posting the link!

Visitorthedog you have articulated it perfectly, that's exactly what it feels like - being in a trance. It's a habit, so presumably it can be broken right?

Moominfan Wed 09-Jan-19 21:36:13

Feel like I've broken through pain barrier. Lost 6lbs but eaten lots of savoury crap to get through through sugar cravings. Want to focus on some good quality food now

Elephantina Thu 10-Jan-19 09:02:55

Wow, 6lbs - that's good going! I've had a blip the last day or two as I've been working away, which always weakens my resolve a bit. It's not as easy to have the right kind of foods to hand, and after driving for hours I just grabbed anything. I'm not even going to admit what I managed to shovel down my throat on yesterday's road trip. blush

Never mind, today is a new day and last night someone told me emphatically that I had lost more weight. Back to savoury!

VelvetMoss Thu 10-Jan-19 14:02:41

Interesting thread.

For some people I think it is strongly around the "pleasure principle" which is a mix of things - satiety, taste and so forth.

But I do think this is adaptable. You can "learn", though changing taste buds and food eaten, to enjoy different kinds of food and smaller quantities. When I was young I could drink 4 - 5 pints of lager on a night out biscuit, whereas now I'd struggle with one!

I also think if there is little or no pleasure in your life - food can present itself as a cheap or simple option. I sometimes think well-off women who are slim have lots of pleasures - new clothes, clothes that look nice on, spas, make up, going out to enjoyable places etc etc. If you have nothing, a penny ice bun is at least something .... so personally I think its good to embrace new pleasures - sensual or otherwise - whilst getting back on track with food.

Dieting per se is usually counter-productive. I think the aim (for me at least who has about 2 stone to lose) is to get into a place where eating less but more healthy food makes me feel good! Nothing is banned but some self-control helpful and not a contradiction. Eating one slice of cake or drinking one glass of wine can be a natural pleasure. Eating a whole cake or a whole bottle can make you feel quite ill.

Anyway, rambling now ... smile

legolammb Thu 10-Jan-19 21:15:28

I still need to go back and read the thread but wanted to post immediately because I think your OP might be one of the most resonant things I've read on this - even down to the migraine and IBS. The stomach thing is bloody annoying as I don't have the option of filling up on nice healthy fruit and veg as I get the most atrocious wind! Anyway, now i've found my people I'll go back and read from the beginning!

2019Dancerz Thu 10-Jan-19 21:36:25

I agree Velvetmoss and I really don’t want to be in any permanent plan that puts small amounts of sweet food or carbs (or alcohol) off the menu.

Elephantina Thu 10-Jan-19 22:19:28

Lego yeah the fruit and veg thing is annoying...I do like fruit and veg and would be glad to eat stacks of it, unfortunately it gives me such cramping and diarrhoea I have to go easy on it.

Having said that I tried agave nectar for the first time tonight (a little bit with some natural Greek yoghurt) and now I'm typing this on the bog with some mild cramps. Christ don't tell me my guts can't take that either.

My migraines aren't terribly specific but when I do get a cracking one, it will either be from a spell of tension, or from eating a strong concentration of chocolate - not common garden chocolate but something like a brownie, or chocolate fudge cake etc. Now I'm off sugar I'm not eating it anyway, but the last time I had a migraine where I actually had to take a sumatriptan and opt out for a few hours was a good couple of months ago. Can't recall what kicked that one off. I take propranolol and amitriptyline for mine, very effective as a preventative.

Jeez I'm still camped out on the bog. What has agave nectar got in it to trigger me?

Bowchicawowow Thu 10-Jan-19 22:24:03

They deal with this is Hugh Fearnly Whittingstall’s programme about the food industry which was on tonight. Scientists have worked hard to make their food contain the ultimate ‘bliss point.’ That combination of sugar and fat is what’s making the UK obese.

Elephantina Thu 10-Jan-19 22:24:15

Oh, I forgot...GP called today with the results of my liver related blood tests. All good, inflammatory markers back in the normal zone and according to their "calculator" I am not at high risk of future liver disease - but I'm just on the cusp of low risk and medium risk.

So, its a wake up call - liver is starting to show signs of being effected by my poor diet and obesity. She very gently suggested small sustainable changes to cut down on sugar (and fat, old school), lose a little weight and increase exercise.

So, some motivation for there then.

OK I think my colon is done, I'm getting off the throne now.

Elephantina Thu 10-Jan-19 22:25:24

I saw a bit of that tonight Chicawow, my ears pricked up at "bliss-point" - that's exactly it.

Bebe03 Thu 10-Jan-19 22:36:46

Fitbit is amazing, has honestly changed my life- allows you to log food so you can see calories consumption - huge eye opener! Also really encourages you to exercise/move. Even walking more will help & be gentle on your body whilst you loose the weight to do more vigorous exercise.

I think a Mediterranean style diet is the best but not to completely cut out any food group (just moderation) is probably the most sustainable option IMHO.

Good luck op- please consider some CBT for the additiction (which it can be) you may be lucky & be referred through your GP xx

legolammb Thu 10-Jan-19 22:42:00

Elephantina - I believe agave is a no-no on the FODMAP diet - due to fructose I think, so that could be it. My migraines seem to be more stress-related and hormonal than diet thankfully.

I'm definitely on the sugar treadmill currently - a hangover from Christmas and stress eating due to some family issues recently. I've realised I've not really eaten any quality protein, i.e. a chicken breast or similar for ages. Keeping my protein levels high definitely helps me resist cravings, so I've done a nice shopping delivery today to change that.

I've also had a week-long binge triggered by telling myself I was going to rejoin Slimming World for the 50th time and thinking I had to eat all the bad food beforehand. I've done some reflection and realised that it wouldn't be a good idea for me to go back to SW - I'm just going to practice calm mindful moderation.

Elephantina Thu 10-Jan-19 22:42:42

I've been dieting all my life, I can eyeball 30g of pretty much anything and know the calories from an apple to a portion of pasta to a slice of cake. smile MFP has been my companion for years and years. I also wear a Fitbit (the Versa, no less).

I know what to do and how to do it, I've even succeeded several times temporarily - but I can't maintain it. I think vanity has always been the driver before (I am totes gawjus when I'm slim donchaknow), but now I need to look after my liver before before it hardens and shrivels up like a turd in the sun.

Whatisthisworldcomingtoo Thu 10-Jan-19 22:43:51

Watching with interest, I have the same struggle op

Elephantina Thu 10-Jan-19 22:44:07

Lego awww fuuuuck, really? I never even thought, I know my FODMAPS usually. What an idiot. Phew, at least my large intestine has had a good workout eh.

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