My gorgeous DD (14.5) has become quite severely overweight. She is tall and heavily built (5' 11", with broad shoulders, hips, thighs etc), but has become clearly and undeniably overweight. She was over 16 stone when I was last allowed to know her weight, though in a way the actual weight is irrelevant: what is undeniable is that she is carrying an immense amount of extra body fat.
So as not to drip feed...
She has always liked her food, ever since she was a tiny baby (well, she was never tiny - 11lb at birth, off the charts for length and head circ). However, it wasn't a problem when she was younger as she just had to eat the same things as the rest of us.
The problem has arisen since she started secondary school, and has had access to corner shops, Tesco Express etc on her way to school, and also spends time going to town with her friends. She has a set allowance per month (£20), so doesn't have acres of spare money - but she evidently convinces friends to either buy food for her or to give her money for it. I know this because I find wrappers stuffed under her bed, in her pillow cases, etc. She also gets friends to give her money so she can catch the bus to school and back, rather than walk (it's about 2 miles away, so just a bit too far for her liking).
I think part of the problem is that she started comfort eating when XH and I split up, and doesn't know how to stop.
She knows she is overweight, and is very unhappy about it - but the lure of crisps, Coke, sweets, chocolate brownies etc is too much for her to resist.
At my house, and at her dad's house, she gets decent home-cooked food and moderate portions. We have fruit readily available, though don't have puddings because XH and I don't like them particularly. I don't have any sweet stuff in the house because I don't have a sweet tooth (Pringles would be a different matter, though 
).
I am 5 foot and tiny all round, and am also pretty fit (walk/cycle everywhere within about 10 miles of home). XH is 6' 1", big built but slim (again, pretty fit). DS (16) is 6', also pretty fit, and like a beanpole, just for context. Though he doesn't half know how to rub this fact in.
DD has just been in floods of tears, asking me to sign her up for SW/WW. But I have no idea whether either of them would be any good for her. Please, please could anyone advise me? And I would, obviously, welcome any ideas at all which might help her. She is so sad (she is also bullied about it), and I would do anything to help her - though I know she is really the only one who can help herself. 
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SW/WW for 14 yo DD? Or better ideas?
Unwiederbringlich · 29/10/2018 19:34
Thank you, all. I posted this with trepidation, as I know it's a big issue for teenagers, and I of course feel like it's somehow my fault, so I appreciate the kind replies all the more.
Tabulah, I'm not familiar with SW or WW at all. I just happen to be built small and skinny (everything about me is tiny). This doesn't help poor DD, who envies me my non-figure - whereas I'd love to have some of her height and figure (I have never even owned a bra, as I have nothing to put in it). She is almost as upset about her height as she is about her weight.
Mumto2, I don't have snacks/biscuits etc in the house, not least as I don't eat them myself. I would eat crisps until I exploded, but that's the reason I don't buy them.
Yetanother I did look into gym membership, and bought her a membership for a few months (at considerable expense, which I absolutely can't afford - but I thought I would do anything). She went a couple of times on Sundays, but found it tricky (understandably) as she has compulsory school until 5.30 every day, including Saturdays, and also has a lot of prep.
LKRJM, I love walking, and will contrive any excuse to walk, endlessly. DS is the same, and has been since the minute he could walk. It's as if someone wound up a key in his back, and set him off. DD, however, has always detested walking. Even when we had a dog, whom she loved to bits - now sadly not with us, and no prospect of another due to work - she still didn't want to walk, though. We only live a mile and a half from the centre of town, so she could walk to meet friends (as I always do), but she still won't do it.
Bless, her school has a counsellor, and DD has seen her. However, she declared it to be a "waste of time". She refuses to see the GP; I have seen the GP about it, but the GP said DD needs to be even more overweight (!) before they can suggest anything.
Dobby, I have just looked at your link. Thank you. "Binge eating disorder" seems to have much in common with DD's eating pattern.
Parenting is not easy.
Thank you so much for your advice.
@MintyCedric, it would be fantastic if my DD could do that. She also suffers when she goes shopping with her friends. She normally comes home in tears, because nothing fits her.
@trickyex, I think you're right about the wrappers suggesting something that might not be solved by WW/SW. The more I read about binge eating disorder, the more I think this might be the problem. I can't say how grateful I am to those of you who have suggested this as a possibility, as I had never even heard of it.
I talked to DD about it, and she agreed - for the first time - to go to the GP. She seems happier about the idea that it's a psychological issue, rather than just 'greed' on its own. Given that she also has very low self-esteem (related to her weight, no doubt, but possibly has other causes too), the holistic approach might be a better one for her than just weight loss.
Thank you again!
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