Feeling really fucking depressed about what I’ve done to myself

[feesh]

I always had a pretty good relationship with food and was mostly always a healthy weight throughout my adult life (it did occasionally creep up, but was easy to manage).

And then I had kids. I have horrific nausea during pregnancy and it’s only calmed by eating, but with significant food aversions to both vegetables and meat I ended up putting on 30kg with both pregnancies.

After the first pregnancy I lost most of it gradually over 4 years, and then got pregnant again.

This time around, I’ve lost about 20kg over the last 18 months, and still have another 10kg to go.

I’ve switched between various different diets (because I get bored and fed up sometimes) but what has worked the most, and the one I’ve done the longest after both pregnancies has been LCHF as per the Bootcamp threads on here.

However I’m doing it at the moment and the other day, I had a gallstone attack - thankfully not too bad, but definitely gall stones (distinctive pain under right ribs spreading round to shoulder blades). So now I’m freaking out that I’ve damaged my body.

Furthermore, I have been at the same sodding weight for 3 months now and am absolutely sick of it. I’ve been dieting and dieting and it’s not been shifting. I had a weekend off the wagon last month for our anniversary, put 3kg(!) on in two days (fuck knows how, because I didn’t go crazy) and now that won’t shift either.

I’m just really fucking depressed about the whole thing, both the lack of weight loss, the constant dieting for years and years when I was previously naturally slim, and the damage that I’ve done to my body.

The thought of having to eat a low fat diet for my gallstones is really depressing me too, and so is the thought of it being a long term thing and missing out on so many vital fat-soluble nutrients.

I just want this last 10kg to go and to feel like my old self again.

[EcruTable]

Stop the diets for a while and just eat what you know to be healthy food. Give your body a rest. Don’t exclude every carby food just keep actual sugary stuff to a minimum. Are you exercising? If not try to do a little. Walk more. It does take ages to lose weight. It is harder as you get older and have children. I have done lchf before and lost lots and put it back on. Also been worried about long term affects. Now doing a much looser more balanced version. Not as strict, not weighing food, not weighing me. Just going by clothes.

[notanurse2017]

You don't always have to follow a low fat diet for gallstones. You have to work out what your trigger foods are. Mine included coffee and sparkling water. But I could eat high fat foods.

[Schnickers]

I totally agree with ecru. Give yourself a break. Eat three meals a day, lots of veg or salads. Find a veg or salad that you like and stick to it. For example, I genuinely like chopped lettuce, cucumber and cherry tomatoes with salt pepper cider vinegar and a bit of oil. It's the only salad I eat but I eat it every day at lunchtime, along with whatever else I'm having.

Don't eat chocs, cakes (unless you've made it in which case have a slice) or takeaways or alcohol.

But I eat toast, pasta, porridge and at 52 I am finally losing weight.