Hey bleached.
TLDR: Keep trying healthy things for yourself. One day it'll stick x
I have similar problems (but no kids but other kinds of stress causers and time consumers!). For years and years I've tried and failed over and over to stick to anything. Actually I'm pretty sure some of the things I tried only made things worse (Cambridge diet shakes helped me lose a little but then messed with other emotional eating issues).
So for me it took a small miracle of things lining up plus not giving up. I've finally been able to stick to something for the last 4 months and I'm feeling strong (nothing is guaranteed but sticking to a plan hasn't been too awful this time) and losing weight.
My miracle consisted of:
- having a few weeks lined up of less social obligations and stress etc than usual so that I could jump on the opportunity and spend some time working on just sticking to the diet.
- my routine being slightly upset so some of the bad habits (constant snacking, late night binges) I have got temporarily disrupted so I could jump on the opportunity and keep them disrupted.
- Something inside clicked. Instead of feeling sorry for myself on the sofa and bingeing even more I made myself go for a short walk. I told myself i could either sit on the sofa for another 30mins and feel crappy or drag myself out in the pretty weather and walk for 30mins instead. And for once, I was able to do it. Then I did it again next time. And next time. Btw it sucked/sucks. But it's only 30 mins and I waste more than that on mumsnet sometimes.
- And I got annoyed enough to dump some obligations. I was stressing about keeping the house clean and tidy and my OH was playing computer games and ignoring being nagged at to help. But something inside me broke and I just stopped cleaning :) Yes, the mess annoys me but it frees up time which I focus on taking care of myself (planning food, reading and learning about food, exercising etc) instead. And once in a while the OH feels obliged to actually hoover. It's not a great/healthy long term thing but I figure I'm owed a while of him taking the burden (I've been doing it for 11 years so far). I guess I prioritised myself :)
All these things happened and I grabbed the opportunity and went to rejoin WW (a diet that I think is pretty healthy) with the only goal being to stick to the plan and try and ignore the numbers and not buy into chick pea cakes and other things I would never normally eat this time.
And it worked (I've stuck to the plan since, despite actually seeing a small gain that first week! Hormones I assume..). Finally. So far.
Clearly my situ is not ideal and overly complex but I guess the moral for me is that if you keep on trying to stick to a plan (whatever suits you and is healthy) then one day it will stick. You have to keep trying though. Mean it every time. And be kind to yourself if/when it doesn't work out again. Then brush yourself off and try again. It will stick one day if you keep trying (and keep being kind to yourself - being hard on yourself makes it harder i think).
Loads of luck.