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7 stones to healthy BMI.... how? I’ve tried everything

(13 Posts)
BleachedWail Tue 04-Sep-18 23:31:18

SW, WW, calories, low carb.... I read all the books, look at all the science and know all the info yet I cannot stick to anything more than a few days.... I’m in a cycle of just eating and eating and eating- getting fatter and fatter. I’m on anti depressants, anxious, I have two tiny children and get out of breath just climbing the stairs, I snore so loudly my husband is struggling to share a bed..... why is nothing ‘clicking’, this will be the death of me so why can’t I fix it??? What can I do??

OP’s posts: |
Getoffthetableplease Wed 05-Sep-18 20:15:14

Hey, sorry you're feeling so low about it all. I have a lot in common with you - 7 stone to lose, 2 kids, a very busy life and a constant battle with my mental health. I think most people know what they should be doing, if only it were so easy hey. I lost 5 stone to be a healthy weight a few years back but now it's all back plus more, so I regularly beat myself about letting that happen. Enough is enough though, I'm determined to live my life happy and healthy now and am a few days in to a huge overhaul. There's a wonderful supportive group of people on here all with the losing 100 lbs + goal, why don't you join x

RightyHoChaps Wed 05-Sep-18 21:00:09

Hey waves

Firstly, stop. Stop beating yourself up. What matters is that you want to take action. This isn't going to be a quick journey and you will slip up on the way. Accept that. If you beat yourself up, you'll feel worse and want to eat crap.

Secondly, do some small things. Dont radically change anything! Even if it's one less slice of toast. One less sugar in your coffee. Small adjustments go a long way.

Water - drink a whole glass of water before you eat your meal. And stay hydrated inbetween. This will fill you up.

Veggies most - try and start filling up on veg. I even went so far as to have spag bol sauce with the mince and everything, but replace the pasta with salad.

Exercise - 20 min walk. Makes a huge difference.

Treats - allow yourself a treat each day. Whether it's a chocolate bar or an ice cream... I have such a sweet tooth so I have to incorporate this into my eating otherwise I go nuts and eat all the chocolate.

Intermittent Fasting - ok so I can't do that 5:2 stuff I like my food too much 😂 I do 14:10. You have a 10 hour eating window. The remaining 14 hours of the day you do not eat - I sleep through most of this. The idea is that you give your digestive system a bit of a break. It can aid weight loss with minimal change in your diet. Research it a bit before you do it. I always feel alot better for doing it. First couple of days are hard discipline wise but once you get past that it's all good. You could give that a try? See if it works for you?

Other recommendations - I haven't tried this yet but try the Beachbody 2B Mindset. They do the Insanity workout programmes. They do all sorts of other ones too and they're amazing. I love them. I'm gonna try the 2B Mindset soon when I have some dollar. But that nutrition programme coined the ''Water first, veggies most" phrase.

This will take time. The longer the better in some respects - youre more likely to keep the weight off if you take your time.
Consistency is key though. I really recommend doing the small things... don't take away the stuff you enjoy. Try and have a little bit less then you get the best of both worlds.

I can't guarantee any of these will work. None of them will instantly. But I hope maybe you find something that does work. Good luck OP, you can do it!! Dig deep!!

RightyHoChaps Wed 05-Sep-18 21:02:10

Alternatively, OP. If you really feel that nothing works and you really can't break this cycle, maybe try and find a therapist. Sounds extreme but maybe you have some psychological associations with food that make this happen and need to be broken?

FastForward2 Wed 05-Sep-18 21:30:24

Go where there is less food available - get out in the fresh air for as long as possible every day with the children - take a picnic and some healthy snacks, so you don't have to buy stuff on the hoof - keep busy in the day and try to sleep well at night. e.g. if you join the national trust you can go to all their places free and they usually have great things for kids to do outdoors - walks and play areas. When you do eat maybe have smaller than usual portions of what you like, with plenty of fruit and veg and lean protein. Don't skip meals. Diet industry and food industry have a lot to answer for. Look after your mental health first - the rest will follow.

tanner88 Wed 05-Sep-18 21:35:40

Hey bleached.

TLDR: Keep trying healthy things for yourself. One day it'll stick x

I have similar problems (but no kids but other kinds of stress causers and time consumers!). For years and years I've tried and failed over and over to stick to anything. Actually I'm pretty sure some of the things I tried only made things worse (Cambridge diet shakes helped me lose a little but then messed with other emotional eating issues).

So for me it took a small miracle of things lining up plus not giving up. I've finally been able to stick to something for the last 4 months and I'm feeling strong (nothing is guaranteed but sticking to a plan hasn't been too awful this time) and losing weight.

My miracle consisted of:
1. having a few weeks lined up of less social obligations and stress etc than usual so that I could jump on the opportunity and spend some time working on just sticking to the diet.

2. my routine being slightly upset so some of the bad habits (constant snacking, late night binges) I have got temporarily disrupted so I could jump on the opportunity and keep them disrupted.

3. Something inside clicked. Instead of feeling sorry for myself on the sofa and bingeing even more I made myself go for a short walk. I told myself i could either sit on the sofa for another 30mins and feel crappy or drag myself out in the pretty weather and walk for 30mins instead. And for once, I was able to do it. Then I did it again next time. And next time. Btw it sucked/sucks. But it's only 30 mins and I waste more than that on mumsnet sometimes.

4. And I got annoyed enough to dump some obligations. I was stressing about keeping the house clean and tidy and my OH was playing computer games and ignoring being nagged at to help. But something inside me broke and I just stopped cleaning smile Yes, the mess annoys me but it frees up time which I focus on taking care of myself (planning food, reading and learning about food, exercising etc) instead. And once in a while the OH feels obliged to actually hoover. It's not a great/healthy long term thing but I figure I'm owed a while of him taking the burden (I've been doing it for 11 years so far). I guess I prioritised myself smile

All these things happened and I grabbed the opportunity and went to rejoin WW (a diet that I think is pretty healthy) with the only goal being to stick to the plan and try and ignore the numbers and not buy into chick pea cakes and other things I would never normally eat this time.

And it worked (I've stuck to the plan since, despite actually seeing a small gain that first week! Hormones I assume..). Finally. So far.

Clearly my situ is not ideal and overly complex but I guess the moral for me is that if you keep on trying to stick to a plan (whatever suits you and is healthy) then one day it will stick. You have to keep trying though. Mean it every time. And be kind to yourself if/when it doesn't work out again. Then brush yourself off and try again. It will stick one day if you keep trying (and keep being kind to yourself - being hard on yourself makes it harder i think).

Loads of luck.

FATEdestiny Wed 05-Sep-18 21:41:01

I am almost 7 stone down from 1st January 2018. I had 7st 8.5 to get to healthy. 9lb to go...


I just made the decision to change completely. The whole family diet has changed. I no longer buy any crap food, no sugary crap, nothing. I buy wholefoods, unprocessed and cook from scratch.

I get as many vegetables in as possible, 7-10 portions a day usually. Then use lean, low fat meats and dairy and only minimal unprocessed carbs (so oats and rice, not pasta or bread).

I also exercise daily. I started walking, then C25K to teach me to run (whrn I had a BMI of 35). Now I run at least 5k every day, 10k at least twice a week.

AdventuresRUs Wed 05-Sep-18 21:45:43

I have 7 stone to lose too and I get myself really worked up about it. I feel incapable of being on top of mealtimes, the house is a constant mess and I feel constantly overwhelmed. I dont have a career despite achieving academically so feela failure ijn so many wayd. If onlyg i could lose weight a lot else would be easier...

MaryPoppinsPenguins Wed 05-Sep-18 21:47:29

Honestly, I was where you are in December. I felt so low... this year I’ve lost almost 7 stone. I joined the gym, I cut out carbs and most sugar. It was hard, I can’t lie. I used to feel horrendous climbing the stairs, summer was a nightmare in cardigans.

As soon as I started to see results it became easier... as soon as I started to get told by people how much weight I’d lost it got easier still.

I don’t deprive myself, we went on holiday and I had what I wanted, but made sure I swam 200 laps a day in the pool. (I love swimming though!) I still go out for dinner and drinks, but no more than once a week.

Today I went to work in a skirt and fitted top, I ran up the tube stairs, I didn’t worry about squeezing past someone’s chair in the office, I had so much confidence in a meeting. I’m doing better in all aspects of life.

I still have a little way to go but I’m so happy, this feeling is a million times better than anything I ever ate or drank.

You can do it flowers

MagicKeysToAsda Wed 05-Sep-18 21:56:02

It's really hard to start, and hard to keep going, and hard to think about it being a long haul. But it's also hard to be very overweight, and for me, harder still to know the damage I could be doing to my body. A couple of things help me carry on (I've lost almost five stone, with two yet to go):

1. When I have a slip a whole day of slips I try and remember this: if you drop your phone and get a crack in the corner of the screen, do you take a hammer and keep smashing it? Then don't fall for "I've eaten that cake already, may as well eat the rest of the shop/kitchen/world". Draw a line. Carry on.
2. One day at a time of good choices, that's all I commit to at once.

I don't think it really matters what approach you take, as long as it's something you can see yourself making a permanent part of your life. As a PP said, there's a lovely thread on here with other people looking to lose 100lbs, so you could have a read - you'll find you're in good company!

raisinsraisins Thu 06-Sep-18 10:28:29

Try to find a friend/relative in rl to be your diet buddy. You can meet up once a week to weigh in, or text each other with your updates. Less chance of you giving up if you’ve got someone looking out for you.

Have your groceries delivered. Split into 2 smaller orders a week so that you will always have fresh fruit/veg/fish/meat etc in the house. Eat big meals with vegetables and plenty of protein so that you are full. I know that if I only eat small meals, then psychologically I feel deprived and worried that I’ll be hungry, so then reach for the snacks.

If you are likely to binge and sabotage your diet through craving treats, then calorie count, plan your day’s food ahead and incorporate 2 snacks a day in this, crisps or chocolate bars like kit kat are only 100 calories each, so you can indulge yourself every day and still keep to a lower calorie diet.

The main thing though, is for you to change your mindset, otherwise no diet will work. This has to come from within and I hope you can do it. You will enjoy it when you see the weight loss.

thenewaveragebear1983 Thu 06-Sep-18 15:48:14

I can recommend this book, it’s free on kindle at the moment

It’s a bit Americanised and self helpish but I have found it an easy enough read and a simple enough method. You use it alongside an actual diet plan to help you stay on track.

raisinsraisins Thu 06-Sep-18 21:23:41

Thanks for recommending this book. I’ve started reading it and hoping it will help me stop sabotaging my diet....

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