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Need to lose weight, and some help please

(34 Posts)
Purpleneonpinkunicorns Mon 16-Apr-18 03:23:26

Hi all sorry if I do this wrong itsy first thread,
So after years and years of being hideously overweight I've now just decided that I'm going to attempt to go on a health kick/diet/healthy eating..I'm ashamed and horrified by the way I look and feel and I'm still only young but always been overweight and I hate it, but instead of doing something about it I just do the whole bi he eating when depressed and always find myself in the whole binge cycle, but decided now is the time for me to finally get my ass into gear and try and reach a 'normal' weight, I know there's alot to lose so I'm just wondering if anybody could help me, ie: just for some support, advice, low calorie meal ideas etc.
Sorry for it being long and me going on just need to get it all off my chest as to emabressed about my feelings to speak to people in real life, it's really affecting my mental health and could just do with some support..
Thank you for reading.
And good luck to anyone else who is taking the weight loss journey...maybe we could share ideas etc.

Gemi33 Mon 16-Apr-18 07:18:50


I feel like you - I'm so unhappy with my weight and so embarrassed but have been overweight for years and have never been able to do anything about it. I have tried and failed so many times and end up bingeing - I have no idea why I can't do it! I am looking at doing the blood sugar diet because I am also pre diabetic but have already had several false starts sad


Purpleneonpinkunicorns Mon 16-Apr-18 08:06:50

Hi, thank u for responding, it's a horrible feeling isn't it and I'm the same I try one and fail then I'll try another and fail and so on just a horrible cylce,I'm sure if we try and stay positive and we all support each other it could be achievable, well I hope as I'm desperate...what's the blood sugar diet I haven't heard of that as hardly leave the house anymore x

Purpleneonpinkunicorns Mon 16-Apr-18 08:12:29

Forgot to add, my plan for this 1st week of trying to change my life is to eat homeade soups for the week and low carbs and stick to a controlled dirt of no more than 1,300 calories, my biggest downfall is savoury things so I'm better to calorie count so if I really need (which I know I don't but my mind thinks it does lol) some crisps I'm only going to allow myself 1 bag of 99calorie crisps, been up most of the morning googling alsorts of calories x

KateGrey Mon 16-Apr-18 08:15:29

I weighed this morning and I’m so ashamed. I need to lose about 5 stone.

rosie1959 Mon 16-Apr-18 08:22:08

I decided a year ago in March 2017 that I wanted to loose the excess weight I know exactly what to eat but needed the motivation to get there
I need a weight loss group to weigh in weekly and keep a check I chose our local Weight Watchers mainly because of the leader He is inspirational and gives you realistic expectations None of the happy clappy environment I found at other groups
The fact is if you really want to loose weight its calories in and calories out If you binge and stuff your face the only person you are hurting is yourself So mindset is the key
I have took it slowly not been hard on myself and have lost 2 and a half stone so far It's not always easy but depends on how much you want results

PoshPenny Mon 16-Apr-18 08:29:04

I've got 4 stone to lose, I'm halfway through that now. I bought a fitbit and it's been brilliant for checking that my eaten calories are less than my burnt calories. 1300 calories sounds like it might be hard to stick to long term...

Purpleneonpinkunicorns Mon 16-Apr-18 08:55:31

Kate: I'm excatly the same but need to probably lose around 7 stone blush...but we can do this, and all support each other if you'd like?

Rosie: I feel that I've finally got the motivation and the thoughts of it as it's starting to make more depressed than what I am, I've been looking through a very old weight watchers book to get ideas for the 2nd week of my journey, but would rather do calorie counting than points, as I'm way to embarrassed to go to a meeting.
Penny: well done on the 2stone weight loss that is fantastic, how long has it taken you and what type foods are you eating? I'm only thinking of doing 1,300 calories for the 1st week and maybe half of the 2nd week as I will be wanting meats and fish etc just need a boost start..
Thank you all for replying I feel positive and motivated, and sorry if I haven't done the new right as still not 100% on the site..
(Off to look at prices of titbits and weights)

Purpleneonpinkunicorns Mon 16-Apr-18 08:56:58

And also well done on the weight loss Rosie that is amazing and I hope to be able to say the same in a few months time.

honeysucklejasmine Mon 16-Apr-18 09:02:48

Hi ladies,

Pop over and join us if you like. We've got people almost at target, people just getting started, and everywhere in between. Losing that much weight is quite a unique challenge so it's good to be supported by people who know how it feels.

rosie1959 Mon 16-Apr-18 09:13:38

No point in being too embarrassed to go to meetings lots of people with the same problem Mind you I am nearly 60 so have perhaps a different outlook ie couldn't give a toss I found our morning group very welcoming and members are there for the same reason
Weight Watchers has changed quite a bit with the new flex diet I actually prefer the No Count as can't be arsed to weigh and measure everything

PoshPenny Mon 16-Apr-18 11:24:41

I just needed to eat less and move more! I've got a physical job working with horses but I was stuffing my face if I'm honest. It all went wrong when I gave up smoking 8 years ago. So now on a typical day I burn off between 2,500-3,000 calories I aim to eat below 2,000 calories a day so it's slow but sustainable and I reckon I lose 1lb a week. Logging the food on the Fitbit was really helpful for seeing where I'd been going wrong. It should be more, but hey I'm grateful for any loss! I joined my local fitness studios and since January do 4-5 fitness classes a week (they do a monthly unlimited classes deal) which has turned out to be more fun than I expected (I've never been into that sort of thing before). I've come round to the idea that the slower I lose it the less likely it is to come back on again. Just had two weeks off diet/exercise and apart from Easter chocolate I haven't done any self sabotage

thalia2018 Mon 16-Apr-18 12:50:08

Hi well done for making a start! It’s very hard to make that first step.
I agree I think it’s better to lose the weight slowly making long-term changes rather than crash diets. After Christmas all my clothes were too tight and I just can’t afford to replace them all with a size bigger (plus I don’t want to) so decided something has to be done.
Exercise - got a Fitbit for my birthday, which motivates me to walk more. I got a secondhand bike. I try to use the car only when necessary and walk/cycle/use public transport as much as possible. I go to a Pilates class which has helped a lot with core strength and backache. My next challenge is to find some sort of aerobics class - but nothing too strenuous as I haven’t done it for years!!
Food - I don’t do calorie counting as I haven’t got time but I have cut out biscuits and cakes. If I go for a coffee with a friend, I try and see the coffee as the treat rather than having a muffin too! I have increased protein and vegetables, and have less refined carbs. I find bread makes me a bit bloated so I have cut down a lot on that.

I do think you have to be realistic and not set yourself extreme targets. Cutting out carbs completely looked too difficult to me alongside cooking for the family, so I have just aimed to reduce them - e.g. if we are having pasta for dinner, I will have just one spoonful of pasta but increase the salad/veg/seeds portion.
I am a bit of a snacker so trying to have apples, oatcakes, a few nuts etc rather than unhealthy snacks. We don’t have any fizzy or sugary drinks in the house. For alcohol, I am not a big drinker but I couldn’t cut it out completely as I do like a glass or two at the weekend. So we have 3 or 4 alcoholic free days each week, (DH as well) so then I can enjoy my weekend glass much more!
The first month there was very little change and it was disheartening but I stuck at it and
after 3 months my clothes finally feel more comfortable and people have started noticing. Things have gone a bit lax over Easter with all the chocolate, visiting family etc, but now the kids are back at school I will get back on track. It feels manageable to me rather than an extreme diet - family mealtimes are important and I didn’t want to be eating completely different food.
Good luck!!

amymel2016 Mon 16-Apr-18 12:54:11

I've got 6 stone to lose and have also decided that now is the time! I've just had a health scare, which is fortunately sorted, but during the investigations they found I have a fatty liver. It can be helped with diet and exercise but I can't believe I've eaten so much that my organs are fat. It was the wake up call I needed!

My main issue is sugar, so I'm cutting down and walking more. That's my only plan so far!

Purpleneonpinkunicorns Mon 16-Apr-18 13:39:41

Thank you all for replying and sharing your stories and advice, I'm really grateful and have just managed to do what normally would be impossible of going into a bakery for my mum but came out with nothing for myself which I'm so proud of as normally I would of..
Honey thank you I shall have a look on there later when I can.

Rosie: I hope to lose some weight before I go as I suffer from social anxiety and the thought of walking into a meeting scares the sh*t out of me atm, but I do plan on using meal ideas from a old weight watchers book, and how do you find there own meals?

Posh: tbh I will be them same of needing to eat less and move more, and if quitting smoking helps gain weight I'm going to stay a smoker for the foreseeable as was considering quitting too but don't think it'll be the bestest of ideas, I currently can't afford a Fitbit but I do have some old exercise dvds which I will be trying later on, but I only reckon I'll manage about 20-30 mins to start off with but every little will help and I've walked about a mile and half to the shops and back so maybe that's lost a few calories. And well done for no self sabbotaging as that's one thing I am scares of so how do you keep your motivation up if you don't mind me asking?

Thalia: that k you it's about time I do something about it as I don't want this struggle for the next 50years of my life as I wouldn't make it and that scares me being only 29 atm, would you say exercise dvds and walking and weights would be ok for me to start with as classes and gym isn't ideal for me atm, and I like how a coffee can be a treat I will keep that in mind, I'm going to definitely start eating more fruit and veg for sure and well done on your weight loss so far, how did you find cutting the carbs as bread and savoury is one of my downfalls?

Amy: Im sorry to hear that, but at least you know that you could possibly change it and lose some weight and that's the first step and we'll done on on the cutting down and walking as it should give you more motivation...I've had a walk today and I'm currently making a soup I found on the NHS website and it tastes nice so far I also need to stay away from the sugar as it's my enemy so currently drinking twinnings fruit tea and enjoying it.

Thank you everyone and sorry if I've missed anyone out, I'm new to this so still unsure if I'm messaging back correctly, and good luck all we can do this smile

thalia2018 Mon 16-Apr-18 14:08:18

I would say walking and exercise dvds are a great start. I know what you mean about classes, I don't like the thought of them either, which is why I started walking as a start. I think its better to start with gentle exercise and build it up rather than risk injuring yourself! Make sure you have some comfortable shoes or trainers to walk in and walk as briskly as is comfortable. If I have a few things to get from the shop I will take a rucksack with me, as its easier to carry than shopping bags. Now is a good time of year to start with walking as the weather is better, without being too hot.
I do have exercise DVDs and I go through phases with them - I had a wedding to attend recently which made me do them more, then I got a bit slack with them. I need a motivation!

I have a health check due and I want to be able to honestly say what I am doing to lose weight, so that's in the back of my mind.

MumofBoysx2 Mon 16-Apr-18 14:11:32

You should definitely join Slimming World, or at least follow their recipes, lots of websites given recipes and tips - so many alternatives to things you probably already enjoy, like lasagne, fakeaways etc, and you never feel hungry. So much more achievable as it's a lifestyle change rather than a 'diet', which makes it much more likely to work. Good luck! :-)

CarpetMothsFuckOff Mon 16-Apr-18 14:13:39

Hi OP smile

I've been overweight for years and years. I've tried low carbing, slimming world, 5:2, blood sugar - you name it I've tried it. They all work but I can't maintain them long term and just pile the weight back on.

Six months ago I decided to follow the following rules and the following rules only:

1) No snacking between meals
2) One portion of food only, no returning for seconds
3) Only one portion of white carbs (bread, pasta, potatoes, rice) per day.

Obviously I don't do that every day - yesterday we were out for a pub lunch so I had pudding - but I've lost 3.5 stone doing that and am a healthy BMI for the first time in my adult life. Can't see it changing now - I really feel like I have a proper gauge on my appetite. Before I was terrified of feeling hungry, now I can live with it and I just wait til the next meal. I don't deprive myself of any food group, not a single one.

CarpetMothsFuckOff Mon 16-Apr-18 14:15:42

Eg today I've had:

3 scrambled eggs with mashed avocado for breakfast

Salad for lunch - tuna, halloumi, tomatoes, radishes, capers, dressed with lemon, olive oil and salt

Dinner is going to be courgette and pea risotto

Plus many cups of tea smile. The above is a pretty average day for me. Sometimes I don't have breakfast - only if I'm actually hungry. I was starving this morning, so I ate breakfast.

theredjellybean Mon 16-Apr-18 14:23:13

Well done OP and everyone for getting started.
I lost 4.5st 7 yrs ago by what is now called mindful eating!
I had been yoyo all my life and failed on every diet...
My top tips are keep it simple, do not think of it as a diet.
I stopped thinking of foods as good or bad... Food was just food.
Then I only ate when I was actually hungry... Properly hungry. Not bored or restless or sad or anxious.
I also reduced my portions, gradually...
It was amazing, I lost weight quickly.
And my appetite dropped, now I couldn't eat big (other people's normal) portions.
When I was hungry I thought about what I wanted to eat.. If it was a donut I had the donut but then didn't also have sandwiches and crisps etc if it was lunch for example.
I didn't feel guilty about food choices and I found I naturally gravitated to better choices. You soon stop wanting a donut for lunch.
The other thing was only eating until I stopped being hungry not continuing until stuffed.
I set up new habits, so 6pm I always wanted crisps, cheese, glass of wine, and then ate dinner at 7.30 pm when I didn't need calories as already full from nibbles. So instead I went for a walk or had a bath at 6pm by dinner time I was properly hungry.
It worked and the weight fell off in 6-7months and has stayed off.
Good luck all

thalia2018 Mon 16-Apr-18 14:25:34

Carpetmoths - They sound like good rules!
Re the no returning for seconds - I am trying that too, just enjoying what is on my plate, and asking myself if I really need more. My other downfall is nibbling at the children's leftovers (terrible habit!) so I have been making a point of not doing that and putting it straight into the bin.

I have also been conscious of not saying in front of my children 'I am on a diet' as I don't want them to have any food issues. I just talk about eating healthily rather than dieting.

I think only eating one portion of white carbs a day, seems more manageable to me than no carbs at all.

Well done OP for managing the bakery! smile

LondonJax Mon 16-Apr-18 14:25:46

I would second Slimming World. I like the fact that I can serve up the same meals for my family - I just add cheese to Bolognese at the table for my ten year old as he needs the extra calories or pop butter in their mash whereas I have my mash without.

And you can have chips! Ideal with a 10 year old. You just peel your potatoes (or don't bother and make wedges instead) spray with lo-cal spray oil (I use Fry Light) and whack them in the oven. My 10 year old prefers them to any other chips so that's a result!

On Slimming World you can eat as much of the chips (for example) as you want - no weighing, no counting. My cousin lost 3 stone on this and has kept it off for almost four years now. I've got another 7lb to lose to hit my target. Some people say the 'eat as much as you want' ethos for some items causes you to not get control of portion sizes but I don't find that. You actually learn to listen to how much food your body needs. And you're adjusting your 'hidden' calories (like butter or oil to cook with) so you become more aware of what's actually in your food.

I can even have chocolate every day (you have to count that!) so you can live a normal life. My downfall with other diets is that I'd be invited to a party or out with friends and find it so difficult to continue on the diet for that occasion that I'd lose heart. I've been to three parties on Slimming World and been able to adjust to allow for those.

My food for today is (and will be)

A bowl of porridge (made with water but with a splash of milk from the allowance I have for dairy each day). With sweetener

Lunch was tuna with quark and lemon juice to moisten it or I'd have chicken, with a jacket potato and salad

Dinner will be a home made chilli plus rice

As much of the tuna/chicken and chilli and rice as I can eat.

Fruit in between if I'm peckish

The only thing I have to weigh today is the porridge (normal 40gram portion) and the milk.

CarpetMothsFuckOff Mon 16-Apr-18 14:38:03


That sounds like exactly what I've been doing really, fab isn't it!

My issue with slimming world and all the rest of them is that they don't teach you to regulate your appetite (in my opinion, probably just me being a greedy pig!). And I didn't like SW's emphasis on low fat stuff as to me it just doesn't taste very nice.

theredjellybean Mon 16-Apr-18 15:30:18

I agree, slimming world with its eat as much of one or other types of food stuff didn't help me at all.
And now feel strongly that the idea of 'syns' good food bad foods is just perpetuating our dysfunctional relationship with food.
I would never say I am a Saint, some days I Binge but next day I know I can just easily regulate again.
Whereas when I ate 'bad food' before I felt guilty and then ate more to make myself feel better and so on and so on.

Purpleneonpinkunicorns Mon 16-Apr-18 16:08:30

Hey guys, I'm amazed at reading all the success stories it really is inspiring and motivating of the fact that it can be done, sorry ive not been on to respond as just gotten back from taking the dog for a walk orginally was just going to go around the park and then decided the beach would be better as it's further away, the slimming world diet does sound good..and also I love them 3 rules, so much so I written them on my dream board and going to look at them anytime that sneaky feeling creeps up or when I need motivation for the long road ahead, your really are all amazing women.
All I need to do now is write a meal list for this week and next week and also a exercise routine but will allow myself a day or two of not exercing until I'm a little fitter.

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