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Weight loss mindset

(17 Posts)
Dancemetotheend Sun 26-Nov-17 16:57:05

My weight has been creeping up since the birth of my DS, eight years ago.
I have tried every weight loss plan going but I just can’t stick to anything.
I’m miserable with the size I am but my heart just isn’t in my attempts to lose weight. I tell myself i’m doomed to fail before I start and this becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
Has ANYONE actually over come this barrier?
I know what I have to do and only I can help myself but I genuinely don’t know how to get myself out of this rut. Someone I know has suggested hypnotherapy but I’m a bit sceptical.

OP’s posts: |
GoingRogue Mon 27-Nov-17 13:10:05

Hello there, I know exactly what you mean. I've done Slimming World a few times since I was 17 (I'm now mid-30's). I've been on a downward spiral for a while now and keep thinking "there's no point trying at this time of year". But my clothes are really uncomfortable sad and there's always an excuse.

I was thinking of going to the GP but not sure what he can do? Esp as I'm only borderline in the overweight category on the nhs bmi thing.

I eat far too much, love my food, have a big appetite and am a SAHM so sometimes I'm sure I just eat because I'm bored/it's there.

What about you? Do you exercise? I don't.

Abbey0134 Mon 27-Nov-17 13:25:55

I'm exactly the same. I look in the mirror and hate what I see, plan to start a diet nearly every day, until the time to eat comes along and then I eat whatever I want. I've done every diet plan known to man, I've even had a gastric band, nothing has worked. The latest blow is that my hip replacement has been refused until I lose weight. Need to lose 1.5 stone. Even that isn't making me do anything. It's all emotional eating. So frustrating. I know I'm obese but not morbidly so, it's the only part of my life I'm not successful in.

Mivery Mon 27-Nov-17 17:32:26

I've been there OP and I did make it over that hump. I had a really unhealthy relationship with food for years and had a lot of weight issues that stemmed from my emotional eating.

It all really comes down to forcing yourself to make small lifestyle changes until they become long-term habits. It took you years to get to this point and it's okay if it takes you years to get to where you want to be. There's no miracle diet or weight loss plan that's going to change your mindset overnight, but choosing to make small changes that impact your life over time will.

For starters, drink more water! Our bodies need about a gallon of water every day and you'll be surprised to see what an impact it can make on your metabolism, your appetite and your overall energy levels to be properly hydrated. I use a generic water tracking app on my phone to give my hourly reminders to drink a glass of water.

For your diet, again, start by making small changes. Even if you aren't eating healthy meals, start by cutting out or down on snacking. Ideally you want to try to achieve a 1500 calorie diet to create a deficit and lose weight. If you start counting calories you'll quickly see how much of your daily allotment is taken up by junk food, sugary drinks, etc. I personally use the app to keep track of my own calories.

As for exercise, I found a lot of success with Beachbody's workouts. I think their 21 Day Fix program is great for people struggling to get over that hump because it covers both diet and exercise:

If you're interested in checking out some of the meal stuff they have a great section on their blog that should be able to answer your follow up questions:

Honestly though, there's a saying that goes"abs are made in the kitchen" and it couldn't be more true. No amount of exercise can outdo a bad diet, so start there. Try to cut back on junk, drink more water and just be minimally more active. If you can keep that up for a week, challenge yourself a little more. Set clear, obtainable goals and keep working toward them. That's really the best advice I have for you.

Dancemetotheend Mon 27-Nov-17 20:01:07

Thanks all. I know there are many of us in this situation and it’s not just me.
Going and Abbey - yes, so similar. I also plan to diet every day but fail when I actually have food. I self sabotage all efforts and have a terrible negative view of myself.
Thank you Mivery. Good to hear your advice. I’ll take a look at the links you posted.
I have been trying to up my water, using an app as a reminder/log but i’m ashamed to say I can’t even stick to that! So pathetic!
I have quite an active job and 9/10 times hit 10000 steps but I don’t do much in the way of formal exercise. I feel like I don’t have time in my busy schedule but obviously that’s just an excuse.
On a real downer tonight. Sorry!

OP’s posts: |
GoingRogue Mon 27-Nov-17 20:55:16

I've just started reading this website called Eat Like a Normal Person

and this paragraph really spoke to me:

At a certain point, a quiet sorrow edges into your soul. When you’ve battled with your weight for an extended period of time, a sludgy, brain-thick misery envelops you and you cannot tell if it is the result of your weight or if the misery was there all along

I'm going to carry on reading and see if it helps me (also on a downer tonight...and trying desperately not to go and get some supper as I'm hungry).

Great advice above from @Mivery too.

Dancemetotheend Mon 27-Nov-17 22:51:32

Exactly going! That really hits the nail on the head.

OP’s posts: |
Lucked Tue 28-Nov-17 00:40:49

I have a few weight loss books on my kindle I dip into to motivate myself. At the moment I have got Gillan Riley Eating less: say goodbye to overeating on he go. A bit repetitive (they all seem to be) but she does talk sense.

Because they are on my kindle apps I can read them for 5 mins on my phone in my breaks at work without anyone seeing I am reading a diet book.

ConfusedLivingDoll Tue 28-Nov-17 01:16:19

I'm a bit the same, but suffer from disordered eating and have a history of eating disorders, so it's more complicated.
One day it will just click, either due to an important date you need to slim for or because you can't fit into something. For me, at least, a trigger like that is needed to switch gears.

But wanted to say to the water thing that most info going around that is false (I have been told by various specialists). You need liquid, but not specifically water and a lot of what we eat (most things, in fact) has water in it. Thirst is a reliable signal to drink and you should not try force yourself to drink loads of water as that can be dangerous and even if not, you'll just pee more. However, when you get peckish for "wet food" like fruit, you could try have a drink first to see if that helps, as you might be a little thirsty.

Good luck. There are loads of us on this boat!

Dancemetotheend Tue 28-Nov-17 17:07:50

going that website is me to the letter! Will keep an eye on what she adds. However, I couldn’t really fathom what her solution is. Saying that, I did read it late last night so will re read again.
Good tip about having diet books on your phone for motivation lucked. Thanks.
Interesting point about water confused. If I drink too much, I’m permanently hopping for the loo. Not so good in a Chemistry practical with 25 kids!

OP’s posts: |
GoingRogue Tue 28-Nov-17 20:59:21

I've not found a solution on that website yet either! My main problems are:

I bloody love food and eating
I have a huge appetite/seldom feel full for long
I don't enjoy exercise
I am responsible for the food shopping and meal preparation for the family (me, dh, two young children) so am constantly thinking about food/recipes/meals. I think if I was on my own I would be fine.
I'm a SAHM so have access to the kitchen most of the day (will be looking for a job next year!)
I use food as a reward. So pretty much every night when the kids are finally asleep and I've not murdered anyone, I treat myself hmm
No-one else in my house needs to lose weight. In fact, my dh could do with putting a bit on envy

What are your barriers OP? Maybe we could try and help each other smile

Oh, and I drink about 1 - 1.5l fresh water a day, plus tea/wine/squash. I've also heard that it's a falicy you have to drink gallons.

FabulouslyGlamorousFerret Tue 28-Nov-17 22:23:18

I'm not sure of the '1500' cals per day either, you need to aim for a caloric deficit, if you are (eg) 18 stone and reasonably active then this is too little as you will be burning around 2500. Check out 'metabolic adaptation'

Dancemetotheend Tue 28-Nov-17 22:25:11

Haha! I only read the first page by the looks of it. Will read a bit more but she seems to be advocating Allen Carr’s smoking book and his methods.
My barriers are many!! A husband who sabotages my attempts by bringing home snacks when I’m trying to be good, constant cakes and chocolate in our staff room, disorganisation with regards to food shopping and planning, a family of fussy eaters with an apparent fruit and veg aversion and a ridiculously busy schedule which is difficult to fit exercise into.
However, the biggest and most prominent barrier is ME - my mindset. I tell myself i’ll fail before I start. That’s the biggest problem.
Yes, defo up for trying to help each other but not sure how if we’re both as hopeless as we think!! Haha!

OP’s posts: |
Dancemetotheend Tue 28-Nov-17 22:26:51

Yes fab. Richie Howie is always banging on about that.

OP’s posts: |
FlightyMare Tue 05-Dec-17 17:13:10

Hi, I think the answer lies in moving away from the idea of 'being on a diet' at all, and instead giving yourself permission to eat what you feel like eating, when you're genuinely hungry, and then stopping before you're too full. This is the method I use now and I'm maintaining my weight loss without the need to deny myself any foods and I feel free from dieting for the first time ever. I'm finding that once I've given myself permission to eat anything, with no foods 'banned' or anything like that, it reduces the power they once had over me and I can genuinely take them or leave them. It's a revelation!

GoingRogue Tue 05-Dec-17 19:27:49

@FlightyMare I have tried that, but turns out if I give myself permission to eat everything then...I eat everything ! Gained half a stone in six weeks hmm

I'm having gastro problems atm so am cutting out dairy for a couple of weeks to see if it helps. Am hoping no chocolate, cheese, cream etc will help me shift some excess weight.

FlightyMare Wed 06-Dec-17 14:52:08

Oh GoingRogue well clearly it doesn't work for everyone then! I do think though that the pressure of trying to follow any sort of rules when it comes to eating, acts to focus too much attention on what you're eating and prevents you from listening to what your body actually needs. Perhaps some loose guidelines need to be introduced for some though, if a total free rein results in excessive overeating..?

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