Recovered anorexic but now need to lose a stone or so. How to do it safely?

[nonamenofacenoproblem]

I have Asperger's so tend to get fixated on things. In the past this has been calories and I spent most of my early teens to mid twenties with anorexia.
Recovering for a year here and there, then relapsing again.
I have been recovered for a good few years now and I am not interested in going back down that path.

However, I really do need to lose at least a stone. I'm out of shape, clothes aren't fitting and I don't look my best.

I just eat whatever I want, whenever I want.
I have no strategies for dieting sensibly. To me a diet has always been to only eat a few hundred calories a day or don't bother trying.

I really want to change this approach and learn to eat in a healthy moderate way. I don't want a crash diet I want it to be a lifestyle change.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

[VivienneWestwoodsKnickers]

When you say 'need' and a 'stone', have you checked this with anyone who can support you like family or a partner?

[PotOfYoghurt]

Perhaps talking to your GP about this would be a good place to start. They could refer you to a dietician who can teach you about food to nourish your body in the right way without being detrimental to your health.

[PotOfYoghurt]

They can also act as a 'reality check' on if you actually do need to lose weight, or if an old mindset is creeping back in.

[AdorableMisfit]

Hi OP. I don't have an answer, but I would be very interested in hearing if you come up with a solution. I'm also a recovered former anorexic/bulimic, and I'm now objectively overweight (BMI = 27 so it's not in my head). I've tried before to lose weight, but every time I've had to stop because I find myself getting obsessive again and doing crazy things like lying to my husband about having eaten when I have not etc. I'm now pregnant and already stressing about how I'm going to safely lose the baby weight next year... I'll be following your thread with interest. Best of luck!!!

[leghoul]

Recovered anorexic (& likely ASD) here. I really would caution against dieting per se. I know everyone is different and my advice isn't gospel. But for me, the only way I've stayed well for so long is to
A. Never weigh myself - no scales in the house, do not get on scales in hotel bathrooms etc.
B. Eat breakfast every day
C. Do not commence any 'diet'
D. Be active but not obsessive about it. So, walk and cycle at the moment is what I mainly do.

Sometimes clothes fit a bit tighter and I perhaps just change a couple of things, eg, stop having frappe type iced coffees for a few weeks. Often changing something little is enough. You know you can lose weight, but I would really caution against adopting any regimen to do so. A few tweaks should sort it out.

Things like exercise too, I don't know how you are with that but I find it quite hard to not go every day if I start going formally. I know, not healthy, despite recovery I can slip into these things. Also accidentally losing weight from time to time from things like being very busy and active with a very physical job or from a period of illness used to be bad news as I would not feel hungry and could easily set it all off again without intending to. Now if for example I am unwell for a week or two, I force myself to eat and drink throughout and even when not hungry after, things like fruit juice etc if not able to eat properly but also still eating food wherever possible(eg norovirus or a monster flu I had not long ago)

It's really no fun to lose the freedom of recovery, so tread carefully. But sounds like you know that already.

[leghoul]

DC1 - lost weight naturally without changing diet at all, walks in park etc. I don't remember feeling any need to lose weight. I just ignored the issue (thankfully)
DC2- did not lose weight while breastfeeding but then it fell off rather suddenly, but was then under a lot of stress at work and personally, had had recent bereavements and a terrible relationship and then I had to have an operation and it all triggered off some kind of unintentional weight loss spiral which was very fast. Also I had a diet-obsessed colleague who wouldn't stop commenting on food or why I was eating xyz and the perils of lettuce. I lost a lot of weight and got really unwell but leaving my job and switching professions really massively changed things. It felt as though I had a recovered mindset but circumstances around me led to it, I wasn't intending for it and driving it in quite the same way, but yiou can quickly lose control and I found it really scary how rapidly I became ill again.
No problems since leaving that job (and that relationship) and that's about 7 years ago. Even though I am recovered, and much more laissez faire about food than 'normal' people around me, I would still be a bit worried about starting to thinking in that way again so for me I have to just ignore it and if my clothes are tighter sometimes then I know it won't be forever and I can live with it.
I think small small changes and small increases in daily activity are the best solution for me.

[leghoul]

Sorry, very long posts!

Basically, I dont know how to do it safely without triggering it off again, other than to make small changes to choices each day. Latte habit- bin it for a while or switch to americanos. Or if you find yourself for example scoffing multiple packs of cheese straws or kettle chips or chocolate in the evenings, or something in particular, and you think that's a problem - don't buy the problem items for a while (might be easier to do an online food shop to make snacks in the house healthier)

[nonamenofacenoproblem]

Absolutely, I don't want to lose the freedom of recovery. I slip so quickly and it leaves me unable to function and I can't put my DC through that again.

I am eating extra crap because I'm bored and depressed and it's he school holidays so no routine is hell for my MH.
If I was to relapse my DH would probably leave me.

I haven't weighted myself but I can make an educated guess. I don't want to go into numbers as it's triggering for many.
Lots of extra lumps and bumps and not having a nice body shape.
My boobs have also got enormous and that's a big sign I've gained a lot.


I could live with it at this weight I just know i need to stop gaining.

Leghoul I 100% understand everything you are saying. And all of the complex thought processes that get you there. It's so exhausting isn't it!
I'm the same with exercise, i can't go to the gym if I can't go everyday. So now I don't go.
What you are saying is so right. Even with the best intentions, everything leads back to it.

[nonamenofacenoproblem]

I had no professional support recovering because they didn't understand the asd aspect and couldn't help, so I am reluctant to go to the gp as I think it will only make it worse