Please help me with weight loss. Depressed in a rut mum of 3(4 Posts)
I have 3 under 3. As I had them quite close together my body did not have time to recover from pregnancy, so I am carrying some extra weight which I need to lose for my own health and happiness.
Just before, and while, I was pregnant with DC3 I had some childcare help 3x a week and I found that when I could send the DC off for a few hours, I would be able to do some things for myself and then it would change my outlook and I would feel better and be more conscious of what I am eating, eat better, and have time to exercise.
Now we have DC3 (who is 6mo) we are so low on money that we cannot afford any childcare. So I am at home with the 3DC, none of whom sleep completely through the night.
My days are just a continuous rollercoaster of getting drinks, food, dealing with minor problems, little hands pulling my arm away from doing anything which might benefit me (cooking something for me or eating anything healthy.) And I'm breastfeeding and I'm tired and they all scream and cry at the same time, and every day I have moments of losing all rational thought and take the easy, comforting option of a bar of chocolate or a whole bag of kettle chips or shoving the fish fingers or burgers they have left into my mouth just to clear the plates.
Or, after breastfed baby is in bed (ironically he's the best sleeper) and I have 6 hours stretching out before me, reaching for the wine.
(I'm aware this is a cliche.)
When I finally get them into bed I have been so stressed and frazzled by the day that I "reward" myself with a second dinner and snacks and just lie on the sofa in a zombie state until it's time to go to bed.
I don't want life to be like this anymore. Do you have any tips or ways I can get out of this cycle?
Personally when I was in a similar boat to you I just couldn't lose weight and just did what I could to get through the day (and night). Now my children are a few years on, my youngest is 3, I have more time to myself and and losing weight and focusing more on 'me' again. Keep going, you are doing fine, and bear in mind that it will only get easier from now on. When you get to a point where you feel better and are motivated, go for it, until then don't feel too guilty, it is only short term. In a couple of years you will have 2 in school (or at least preschool) and 1 nearly in preschool- everything will seem much easier. (But I'd seriously think twice before having a fourth child!)
Oh goodness you have got your hands full! It is so relentless when they are tiny and 3 under 3, no wonder you're knackered and reaching for the chocolate. I did as well (had two under 3 and that was bad enough), and you know what, I just put all thoughts of dieting on hold until the baby slept through and stopped breastfeeding. It's hard enough to diet when you're rested and not giving any of your calories to anyone else. So, do what you need to get through the day, don't try to diet as such but if you can make swaps (say, an apple instead of another slice of toast, or a glass of water instead of the second glass of wine), then do that. It's not great by any means but I ate to cope while my two were tiny - now DD2 is almost 2 it's loads easier and I have had the headspace to focus on losing weight. I'd also say that any time you do get to yourself is so precious, it's hard and you can't always predict when you'll get it but grab it with both hands when you can. Oh and just go to bed instead of reaching for the wine/second dinner/etc. Try the Headspace app, it's great for clearing your mind - I used to do it before I went to sleep with the baby in the cot next to me.
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