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Just can't loose anything no matter what I do!! HELP

(56 Posts)
Mandyjohnston71 Wed 03-May-17 20:46:34

Just can't loose weight no matter what!! Any advice would be appreciated. I've tried everything!

fiftyplustwo Wed 03-May-17 20:58:46

Have you tried 5:2? I'm on it now, second attempt. It seems promising.

Mandyjohnston71 Wed 03-May-17 21:23:42

Ok so hello everyone!! Newbie here to mumsnet, hope all you clever people can advise me or possibly share your wisdom with me!!
Ok so, I'm 45, 3 kids, 2 grown up, and a 5 year old. I'm 5ft6, weight 13st7lbs.

I did loose a lot of weight about 10 years ago. 4 stone in fact but that was 10 years ago and since then it's slowly crept back and having had DJ 5 years ago I've put half of it back on. In short I've been the same weight for 5 years now and no matter what I do nothing works.

I know a lot about nutrition, or at least I think I do. I'm obsessed with diet programs and I've tried everything in the book from weight watchers, Slimmingworld, clean eating, lean in 15, egg and grapefruit etc.. they all just seem to yo yo up and down daily but never seems to make a difference. And yes, I've stuck them all out for 5/6 weeks. I thought Slimmingworld would work as that's how I lost the weight last time but it doesn't seem to work last time. Then again. I was a lot bigger, lot lot bigger!!

Ok so exercising, I try and do 5 days a week, mixture of 40 minute spin sessions, 80 minutes walks, kettle bells, Gillian Michaels workouts etc... I sweat like an open tap and my stupid Apple Watch tells me I've burned an additional 500kcals on top of my daily allowance.

When we're talking calories, god how annoying are these little buggers?? I've counted my intake, I understand that im allowed 1500/1800 a day to maintain. So if I've smashed another 500 then my allowance now grows to 2300 for e.g.?? Eh? But no, they all say 250 calorie deficicit a day equates to a pound of fat at the end of the week, so why doesn't it work? I fluctuate between 86kg's and 90kgs
,s . On a Friday after a full week of discipline I can get to 86 sometimes but then after the weekend and a few wines and maybe a slight cheat like a curry or nachos for exampl I'm back to 90 Monday morning? Wet?.. yes I know I could probably refrain over the weekend but why can't I enjoy a few moments of it if I work so hard Monday- Friday?.. and it's. it like I'm binging on fast food etc... just some alcohol and few naughty nibbles. If we're talking calories surely I'm well up on them after the week!!!!

So... some advice I've received is I'm not eating enough, apparently I need to eat small and regular to keep my metabolism, but again that didn't work. I've tried not eating after 5 pm, again no good.

I've been thinking about Paleo, more clean eating, OD'ing on asparagus, white fish and avocados n eggs for breakfast etc... my usual day consists of Kellogs k and skimmed milk for brekkie, banana for elevensizes, lunch is either chilli con carne (homemade, fatdrained with real tomatoes instead of carton with maybe low fat cheese or yoghurt, evening meals are goats cheese salad, chick pea curry, BBQ chicken or chicken salads, salmon etc... ok yes I have a cheeky glass of cava occasionally but seeing as I've completely stopped eating crappy carbs like bread, pasta, potatoes etc. Then surely I deserve a little glass now and then!!.. last time a piece of bread past my lips was 8 weeks ago and that includes wraps, breadsticks the lot....

I can rant on but I've got to be boring you all now (not good for an introductory post lol) what I'd like is comments or advice from anyone that seems to feel as though they've tried everything and just can't seem to loose the weight!! I just want to get to 80kgs!!! And the fact that I see women moaning about struggling to get rid of the last little pinch of fat on one particular love handle when lets face it I'm fat, reckon I'm pushing 35-40% body fat, have cellulite coming out of my ears, my hips (widest part) measure a cool 124cm round yet no results!! I'm not joking, I am the biggest jogger on my road, nobody would think I could do 5k non-stop but I can!! Yet nothing seems to work. I've even had blood tests hoping my thyroid was the issue but no.

I do however has asthma and high b/pressure for which I take medication and keep changing it repeatedly in case that's a factor but still no difference.

Has anyone out there got advice for me?? Or is anyone willing to suggest a regime/ diet/ lifestyle change that we could possibly do together so I can see if this is just me??? God, I'll even add you on Facebook if it spurred me on!!!

All the best!!, bet you need a glass of wine yourself after reading alt at but I'll listen to anything....

M xx

Ilikecrocs Wed 03-May-17 21:44:43

Check out Richie Howey on Facebook. Watch a few a of his videos.

Seav Wed 03-May-17 21:57:07

Have you tried a day of weighing everything you eat/drink other than water (to the nearest 1 g) and recording it on MFP (or similar?) for a day or two? This is obviously unsustainable in the long term (unless you are very dedicated) but might cast some light?

I would estimate/guess how many calories you are consuming eating this: my usual day consists of Kellogs k and skimmed milk for brekkie, banana for elevensizes, lunch is either chilli con carne (homemade, fatdrained with real tomatoes instead of carton with maybe low fat cheese or yoghurt, evening meals are goats cheese salad, chick pea curry, BBQ chicken or chicken salads, salmon etc... ok yes I have a cheeky glass of cava occasionally and then measure it as accurately and precisely as you possibly can for a day or two.

A serving of special K red berries is 113kcal for 30g. I think it would be very easy to have double that and think you are still having one serving! I've just had some for supper and had 50 g and 180 ml of semi skimmed milk (9 ww points) that is getting on for double a standard serving size and it really didn't look it. Whilst on the topic of special is 79g of carbs per 100g and a whopping 17g is sugar and I had it as a 'treat' food - I would definitely class it as a 'crappy carb' if you are trying to cut that out.

I am the last person to offer any real advice on a regime - I've tried most of them too with similar yo-yoing. At the moment I have decided to give WW another go and happy with it so far - I am trying to adopt other principles too (ignore the special K - I'm easing myself on and I had some points to use up) and you can do that along side ww.

charimito Wed 03-May-17 22:00:42

Hello! You actually need a deficit of 3500 calories to lose a pound of fat, ideally you want to lose 2lbs so that would be a deficit of 1000 daily calories. I for example train a lot (we're talking about 9-10 hours a week) and in average (including weekends) I burn 2400 calories a day. I eat a calorie controlled diet mon-fri of around 1500 and I'm losing about 6-8 pounds a month. I've lost 3st so far smile

Mandyjohnston71 Thu 04-May-17 16:04:14

OK, thanks for the responses! finally someone to talk to about it!

Ok, so Im 'down' with the Kelloggs K thing, I can see how that can add up calories! Ill swap them out for fruit and fat free yogurt maybe?. Ive done WW, the only thing I struggled with is its a 'eat what you want' diet and those never really work for me. If Im told I can do that Im likely to stuff my face grin with jacket potatoes or cheesy pasta at like midnight which lets face it, regardless of points, is never going to help loose weight. I can see how the system does though, maybe I should take another look.

With regs to calories, firstly well done Charmino!, 3 st is excellent!
I've done some research in calories after your comment today. It looks as though my calculated approx calorie allowance is 2089 to maintain, 1671 to loose and 1253 to loose 'fast'. So using the average middle one were looking at 1671 arent we?. well my apple watch says my workout (30 min spin shesh) this am tells me ive done 389kcals during the workout, so this now means in order to loose I now have 1671+389=2060 which is around the same as the 'maintain' figure above. And after work tonight hubby has promised DJ a walk round the local park on her scooter so no doubt ill probably burn another 100 maybe goofing around with them before relaxing on the sofa tonight.

I know you have outlined what you burn. 2400 is a good day!, Can i ask how you dun that many? what type of workouts are you doing?
If the calculations are correct then f the calculations are correct then im only looking at 2160 myself and thats with a very early 6am start on the spin bike before the fam get up, and then a play tonight (which isnt very regular) and im still not home till 8.30pm, which by then, im sure you can appreciate im knackered!!
(FYI I work in an office, sat down at a computer)

Be really helpful to know what id need to do to get your results? Especially how I can get my workouts from 400 or so to nearer 7/800 when I feel like im already smashing it, or at least the pool of sweat tells me I am! lol smile

Suppose the other option if my work/life balance wont let me burn more in a workout, then maybe I could reduce under the 1500 intake. unlikely id be actually able to workout on less than that though.

BrieAndChilli Thu 04-May-17 16:11:26

You are probably underestimating the calories you are consuming and over estimating the exercise calories you are burning.
Don't include you exercise calories in your daily allowance.

BrieAndChilli Thu 04-May-17 16:12:46

Log every single MOUTHFUL including bits you eat while cooking, picking of the kids leftovers etc and drink you eat over a couple of days into something like myfitnesspal and you will probably be surprised as to how much it actually adds up to.

Snorktastic Thu 04-May-17 16:20:28

If you want a good explanation of why calories in/calories out does not work for everyone, read Gary Taubes "Why we get fat and what to do about it". Some of the advice seems counter-intuitive, in fact, I thought it was mad and the opposite of everything I thought I knew about dieting (long term yo-yo dieter). But then I gave myself a slap and thought ... but what you are doing now is not working ... so if this doesn't work, you are no worse off. It worked!

FaithAgain Thu 04-May-17 16:43:13

One thing I would say is, from what you've put, you can lose weight. Keeping it off is more challenging. Also it looks like you've gained back less than you lost when you first joined SW? That's great!

I'm losing weight (with SW) at the moment. I've just increased my activity a lot. I looked into whether that meant I could eat more (I wish!). What I found is that research suggests that we tend to overestimate how much we've done compared to the extras we have. If you don't use the extra calories you've burnt, you're likely to lose about 2-3lb more per month than you would on diet alone. It's definitely worth weighing and measuring what you're having too, sometimes I'm shocked, sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised!

charimito Thu 04-May-17 17:14:07

Well a few things wearable tech overestimated calories burnt. They're a good guidance but that's about it. Also, like someone mentioned, if you worked out it doesn't mean you can eat those extra calories, you have to stick to a certain calorie intake regardless of level of activity. Given what you've said, I'd go with 1500. I eat the same thing mon-fri and believe me that helps me not go above my limit. I do not count any extra food that I eat around, but I. Might eat one dorito(literally), 5g of chocolate or lick the ice cream scooper, so in my case it definitely doesn't add to much but we're all different.

There are more efficient work outs than others, 30 mins of walking won't burn the same calories as running, crossfit or spinning. For example I strength for 30 mins every day and I probably burn 120 calories tops even if I'm sweating. If I run for two hours I burn around 1000. I have an office job but they let me work from home so I fit my workouts around it. Word of warning, I developed muscle so in simple weight /size terms I probably lost at least another stone but as someone explained to me that is very hard to determine.

Loubilou09 Thu 04-May-17 17:45:25's "Lose" weight....(sigh)

The cheeky little curries, nachos, wine at the weekend could not help snd negate what you are doing during the week.

I think the calories counters are dreadfully inaccurate and can cause people to eat far more then they should because they think they are burning all these calories but probably aren't.

I have lost 32 lbs in six months with a very general rule of 1300-1350 calories a day spread over a week. So 9,100-9,450 cals week - I may have more on a weekend so cut back to 1,100 a couple of days during the week to compensate.

Exercise I just do and don't count it - I generally do 3 HIIT classes a week of an hour each plus 2 hours strength and cardio with a personal trainer plus 2 or 3 Zumba classes plus a good 3-4 mile walk everyday. I have swapped a couple of the walks for runs in the last two weeks and then maybe dropped a Zumba class because of that.

Log everything and I mean every little mouthful - with a five year old in the house there are bound to be little bits of sandwiches, Hal a fish finger here and there, then pudding that's not finished etc - these can add up rapidly. Also don't forget the milk in tea and coffee - can easily do 300ml a day on those.

Drink lots of water

Loubilou09 Thu 04-May-17 17:46:12

By calorie counters I mean the garmins/fitbits etc

charimito Thu 04-May-17 17:49:45

@lou high five!! I think we have similar approaches to weight loss smile - although I don't count at all what I eat on Saturdays-

ClashCityRocker Thu 04-May-17 18:03:56

I tend to find calorie counting works better if you don't eat back the exercise calories - or only eat half back - as they can be wildly inaccurate.

I try to make sure my tea is always half veg that aren't potatoes on the plate - so even if I'm having pasta bolognaise, I'll have half a plate of salad on the plate before a put the main bit on, which reduces portion sizes of the higher cal stuff.

I'm loosely following slimming world, but still track calories. Sw just gives me accountability and wi once a week.

stayathomegardener Thu 04-May-17 18:05:45

I've never dieted before and can't exercise at all as I have CFS.
I'm 5' 6" and weighed 10st.
For the last couple of months I have been on a CFS diet fueling on fat and fibre not sugar and carbs including no alcohol, dairy or fruit,I'm now accidentally 8.5st and don't think about food at all it's quite an eye opener.

Today I've had a four egg omelette with vegan cheese and vegan butter.
Salmon steak and lots of green vegetables, soya yogurt and pecans.
And supper will be tuna "pasta" with cauliflower rice fried in goose fat.

First week is hell but I've found it easy since then as my carb and sugar cravings just disappeared.

PaintingOwls Thu 04-May-17 18:06:29

Stay away from low fat and fat free things, honestly. You need fat in your diet and those products replace fat with sugar and other shit like that. You need carbs, you need protein. There are no quick fixes.

I second getting MyFitnessPal and logging every morsel of food. Bear in mind as well that the weight you lose initially is water weight, that's the first thing to go, not fat. Your body doesn't want to give that up.

Because of your age your metabolism may have slowed down quite a bit and you might need to do more to lose weight and need fewer calories than you think. I would recommend that you gain muscle mass as this burns more calories and increases your metabolic rate. You will need to stick to this for at least 2-3 months.

Check out for some plans and inspiration.

Oh and stop drinking alcohol! This is a big one!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain Thu 04-May-17 18:11:36

I also agree with pp about not including the calories estimated burned during exercise as part of your allowance, and also if you are only medium active you may only be using 1800 calories per day as your baseline. The only thing that works for me is reducing intake to what I calculate is 1200 Calories per day and exercise when you can but don't 'eat back' those calories. That then gives a margin of error for your calculations and you should then loose 1-2 pounds per week.

theredjellybean Thu 04-May-17 18:30:16

it is very simple in the end....calories in need to be significantly less than calories out.

so much smaller portions, and lots more exercise

and never ever eat the exercise calories back...

it is frankly hard going , but the bottom line is we are overweight becuase we eat too much..and exercise though valuable for many health reasons does not do that much for weight loss unless you calorie restrict as well.

I was like you and had yo yoed and tried every diet and fad under the sun....then i woke up to the fact i am greedy and i eat too much.

i also ate for the wrong reasons, had a love hate guilt relationship with food and was miserable.

I lost 4 stone and have kept it off for 5 yrs now , by significantly smaller portions, no second helpings , reg exercise ( i run and its free and it is easy to do) and i ditched the 'good bad food ' concept, i stopped thinking in terms of carbs and protein and sugar etc...and i eat a balanced diet, and if i feel like a donut for example, i ask myself firstly:

1. am i hungry...if yes..
2. is it a donut i want to eat to satisfy this hunger ?..if yes..
3. i eat the donut, slowly and i enjoy every mouthful and as soon as i feel satisfied ( note not full, just satisfied ) i stop...even if half the donut goes in the bin.

mostly what i found was often i did not want the high sugar/high fat foods..often when i felt hungry and i really thought about what i wanted to eat it was often a relatively healthy thing.

You are widely over estimating your calorie need...counting 100 claories for messing about with your dd is wrong, as firstly unlikely you burn that much and secondly that is part of your daily maintence allowance. The calculation about how many calories we need includes the amount we burn in 'daily usual activity', and a bit of playtime with kids would fall into that category.

stop calorie counting, only eat when really genuinely hungry, stop the minute that hunger is satisfied, learn to be satisfied with smaller portions ....and exercise

Loubilou09 Thu 04-May-17 18:58:39

You have done really well charimito - I am trying hard to lose another 16 or so lbs smile

I also agree on the no alcohol - I haven't managed none but I have cut it down to only 10% of what I had before which has massively helped.

I also generally follow a high protein, high fat, low carb regime but also no food is necessarily a sin so if I fancy a bit of choc or must have a packet of crisps or whatever then it's logged and I move on.

MrsPeelyWaly Thu 04-May-17 19:01:03

OP, I could have written your post. I tried everything to lost weight but nothing worked for me until I started Crossfit 4 months ago. The results have been amazing. Id always gone to the gym but to be frank I think I really needed something like Crossfit to get the results I need. Ive taken to the Olympic lifting really well and just recently I completed some of the masters challenges in this years open. Not bad for a 59 year old very overweight granny of 6.

I have personal training 3 times per week but next month Im going to add a class to that and my trainer has said he will build the class around me the first few times just to give me confidence. Oh and Ive reduced my carb intake due to my pre-diabetes, in fact I now use a meal delivery system 5 days a week thats done by a friend and the other two days a week I eat my normal home cooked food. Im looking so much better and Im also feeling so much better. Ive even been and had a make over and I now know how to put on make up and look after myself - my kids are loving the change in me.

Oh and to top all of that - this week my Crossfit coach has asked me to take part in a weightlifting competition at another Box later this month.

Next year Im 60 and I plan to have lost 30 kilos, take part in the 2018 Crossfit Open in a Masters Category - thats what they call older Crossfitters. And a few months after that Im going to take part in a spartan race.

MrsPeelyWaly Thu 04-May-17 19:03:15

Sorry I also use Myfitness Pal and I eat half of my exercise calories. My meals are lowish carb but no as low as Michael Mosley suggests, high protein and high healthy fat.

ImogenR Thu 04-May-17 20:33:56

Have you ever heard of a guy called Will Penrose? I came across him by accident. Saw an instagram of his dog. Cute puppy! I've been trying to find out if anyone else knows him but no one does. Anyway, he writes a blog about how he lost weight and it was based on trying to make things easier on yourself. It's a cross between LCHP and 5:2 but is more about how you control your urges without needing strong willpower. A kind of cross between diet and cheats or hacks. Anyway it's gave me a thing to hold onto that has worked.

Has anyone heard of him?

And the nice thing is he really loves food. Like bad food too.

Tanaqui Fri 05-May-17 09:17:47

Idk if the Apple Watch is the same, but with a Fitbit it does also count the calories you would have burnt just lying around- so the 500 will include some that you have counted already in your allowance iyswim. I agree with pp who say just don't count those calories in- stick to eating 1500 and being as active as possible and you should see results.

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