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I am so fat there are a number of things I can't do

(196 Posts)
Newyearnew2017me Sun 01-Jan-17 19:53:53

Walk without getting breathless. Even small distances.

Wipe my bottom.

Wash myself properly. I do, but it's very difficult indeed.

Wear nice clothes that fit.

Sit next to someone in the car without touching the driver embarrassingly

Plane seats ditto

I am not writing this for people to lay into me and tell me I'm a horrible example to my children, or that I'm a waste on the NHS. I wasn't fat when I had my children, in fact I was marginally underweight with no1 (very marginally mind!) Please do not be critical of me because I have already done so.

I had planned to start today and binged. This made me realise I cannot do this alone.

I am starting my journey tomorrow, Monday 2nd January. If I don't I will be dead before I am 60. I am not saying this to sound dramatic it's just how it is.

Please support me, please tell me I can do this, please promise me there is a life out there for me if I am brave enough to stick to this.

NeighTrumpSnort Sun 01-Jan-17 19:57:25

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers Sun 01-Jan-17 19:58:59

Are you getting assistance from your GP, a slimming club or any other source?

Slimming World, Weight Watchers etc all have good support networks for this kind of reason.

If money is an issue, your GP may be able to give you a "prescription" for a slimming club to help you along the way.

Acknowledging the problem is the first step, and you've achieved that. The next step is the hard one, so don't be mean to yourself.

If you're gearing up for weight loss, have you got the right foodstuffs in the house? Can you remove, give away or throw out the things that are going to make your life more difficult by seeing them and having to resist the temptation?

Start afresh when you have the right things in place. Good luck!!

60sname Sun 01-Jan-17 19:59:33

You can do this.

Maybe write a list of all the things you will be able to do when you lose the weight (ie the one above but turned on its head to be positive)

Gl0ria Sun 01-Jan-17 20:00:22

Good luck. Sounds like a big weight onyour spirit not just your body. You can do it.
are there any emotional issues you need to take care of. I hope that doesnt sound patroniaing but i have a little patch on my scp that ive rubbed bald from stress. Im a vig fan of hypnosis. Give the hypnosis on you tube a go.there are lots to help with weight loss.

SSYMONDS Sun 01-Jan-17 20:01:20

You know you can do this - deep down.

Don't start tomorrow though, start right now. It's the all or nothing thinking that messes you up.

If you've eaten badly today stop right now. Ask yourself constantly, 'what choices can I make right now to become slimmer and healthier?'

If you think about what you'll do in the future, it doesn't work. Neither does dwelling on what you've done.

There is only now. Make good decisions now... this second, not after you d finished what you're eating or whatever.

Good luck

Ebayaholic Sun 01-Jan-17 20:03:19

I can see how this can happen, and have nothing but sympathy for you. I am worried that my future is similar.

What I'm doing differently this year is not thinking that it's all or nothing, and am trying a lower carb diet which isn't insanely low so that it's hard to stick to, slow and steady is my new motto. No more vlcd for me.

Best wishes

Bluntness100 Sun 01-Jan-17 20:03:41

Ok. So now you've admitted it, the issues you face, and that's good, now you need to fix it, right and only you can do this, and you can do it if you chose to. So do it, fix it, and you will have a much better quality of life. No food is worth living how you are. Every time you put something in your mouth think about that, it's not worth it to live as you are.

calzone Sun 01-Jan-17 20:05:32

I am going to SW tomorrow.

It's fabulous and there will be so much support for you.

Fartleks Sun 01-Jan-17 20:07:49

Can you stop having stuff in your cupboards and daily buy what you need just for that day

Also mfp app.

Walking a route every day. Elongating it as you get fitter

I have known someone similar (breathless and unable to clean self) loose weight. It came off so quickly once she decided enough was enough. She made small changes like giving up coke and orange juice. Not snacking.

Fartleks Sun 01-Jan-17 20:09:21

Also next time you binge, don't think the day is ruined. Just start afresh straight away.

blueskyinmarch Sun 01-Jan-17 20:09:49

Well done for writing this post. It must have taken a lot of courage to say it as it is. I would love to give you lots of advice but I also struggle to lose weight. I am happy to help support you along the way whilst also addressing my own weight issues. Good luck.

Newyearnew2017me Sun 01-Jan-17 20:11:44

Neigh - that's really not important. Is it? confused I will be honest and say it's off putting in the extreme for the very first post on what's meant to be a supportive thread to have a question that, whilst the intent may have been innocent, is actually very, very rude due to it being so incredibly personal.

Vivienne truthfully I never have anything fattening in the house but I will go out to the garage, supermarket, ring up for a takeaway.

60s thank you. There are things I want to do but I feel I can't.

SSY I've overr eaten on sugary junk and feel sick. And ashamed.

Ebaythank you.

calzone thank you, it isn't for me, but I'm pleased it is working for you flowers

Newyearnew2017me Sun 01-Jan-17 20:13:03

Bluesky, fart thank you too. Truthfully walking is hard. Not short journeys (from the car to the house!) but any further and I do get breathless. I was shocked at how hard walking an extremely small distance today was and it wouldn't have been even a few months ago.

ShutTheFuckUpBarbara Sun 01-Jan-17 20:16:53

You can definitely do this!

As a PP said, your GP is a good starting point. You can get a referral for a gym, among other things, where a qualified PT helps you take the baby steps that will help get you started (think mobility work, help with meal plans etc., NOT chugging away mindlessly on a treadmill)

Try and make a list of what you would like to change. For example : go to bed 30 min earlier, eat more veg, walk 20 min a day, or whatever "easy wins" you think you can achieve, then work them into your routine one by one.Wait until a new habit feels comfortable before introducing a new one. It's a good way not to get overwhelmed, and it will help you build long standing habits.

Try and get a proper nutrition plan in place (avoid diets from womens magazines at all cost). If you can't get a dietitian to do one for you, find an online TDEE calculator and start from there.

I'm sure you will do great OP, you have all of us rooting for you!! Good luck!

Newyearnew2017me Sun 01-Jan-17 20:18:32

Going to a gym now would be utterly pointless smile Just trying to be totally realistic here. I don't need a GP referral for the gym; I'm fat, not poor wink in fact with what I save on crap good I could probably pay for the gym several times over.

Limewithorange Sun 01-Jan-17 20:18:51

Poster we have talked before. I was in your position 2 years ago and a couple of your can't do's have really struck a cord. I didn't want to read and run but I do want to wish you the best of luck. X

blueskyinmarch Sun 01-Jan-17 20:20:42

Do you have any plan of how to tackle this? I am a fan of lowing carbing. Not the full Atkins but eating more protein based foods as I find I stay fuller longer and somehow it seems to help with the urge to eat sugary crap.

I would also recommend as someone else has said, going to get advice from tour GO. They may be able to help with support groups or gym membership or a dietician to help with plans. They can also check your current health status.

With the walking. Can you try walking every day making the distance further and further each time? Small goals are the way to go as I guess it may be too daunting to consider the entire journey.

BrieAndChilli Sun 01-Jan-17 20:21:22

Start putting everything (every single mouthsful) into something like myfitnesspal, it will help you see where you are eating calories and make better choices.
For example I could eat a whole 12 pack of Jaffa cakes on one go, once I realised that at 50 calories a piece I was eating 600 calories as a snack - I can now limit myself to 2 which is 100 calories so fine as a snack and chocolate craving satisfier
I also have a tin of soup for lunch during the week, it's about 120-150 calories and I don't have bread or anything with it, I found it was the easiest way to save calories over the day as a sandwich, even a whole meal chicken salad one was over 500 calories.

Start small - just tweak things like snacks and lunch etc. I also cut down on portion sizes and only had one plateful - no seconds.

Newyearnew2017me Sun 01-Jan-17 20:22:04

I have a plan, yes thanks smile

Hopefully I will be able to walk a bit every day, increase the distance.

Obviously, I wouldn't bother the GP with this. Ultimately I have to admit I created if so I'm going to (try) to sort it. I just need to recognise it's serious.

PaddingtonLoverOfMarmalade Sun 01-Jan-17 20:22:21

I believe you can do it, because you're being so honest about where you're at. When I pretend problems 'aren't that bad' I find it harder to tackle them than if I acknowledge them.

You sound like someone with the determination to succeed.

sotiredbutworthit Sun 01-Jan-17 20:24:11

I'm on a weight loss mission this year too! My plan is to use 'my fitness pal' app to track my calories and go swimming at least a couple of times a week. I can't go to the gym due to knee issues but I find swimming quite relaxing. Maybe you could find an exercise that you enjoy? Even if it's just walking where you would have driven/ bussed before? Or getting off earlier? Good luck, you can do it!!!

TheCakes Sun 01-Jan-17 20:24:39

Yes, you need a plan. Decide on your strategy - low carb, blood sugar or whatever, then plan your meals and activity for the week. Write it down or download an app eg My Fitness Pal to log it.
Hold yourself to account.
You can do this. Good luck OP.

Newyearnew2017me Sun 01-Jan-17 20:25:20

Thanks both. I used to like swimming but it makes bingeing very likely as it makes me hungry, unfortunately.

Tbh I think I. Am better solely focusing on the food side of things at first.

blueskyinmarch Sun 01-Jan-17 20:26:14

Having reasonable, workable plan is half the battle and you sound determined. I am sure you will be successful.

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