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Completely lost faith in myself. Where on earth do I go from here?

(36 Posts)
keeponkeepinon Sun 30-Oct-16 07:41:50

I am so very tired of dieting. I've spent the last ten years plus on some kind of diet yet I am at my heaviest. I'm not getting anywhere because every Monday I start again and by mid week I am off the rails. I don't even believe in my ability to do it anymore. Now I'm just sad and defeated. I don't know what to try next.
Started low carb bootcamp but never really gave it a chance. I've totally lost my mojo and am completely sick of this cycle I am stuck in because I'm getting nowhere. If I go low cal I'm hungry and can only think about food, if I go low carb I eventually fall off the wagon for something carby and then it sets back the whole process but I'm still tucking into the high fat stuff so it just doesn't work at all.
I know I sound self pitying but I am so so fed up of being this way. If I could lose a stone I'd feel better, two and I'd be happy, three and I'd be ecstatic. People manage to lose so.much more than me, why am I so crap at it?

LiveLifeWithPassion Sun 30-Oct-16 07:52:05

Have you tried not being on a diet and just sticking to 3 sensible meals with some activity a few times a week?
Activity can just be walking.
If you're finding it hard to stick to particular food plans then don't have any plans beyond getting rid of the junk.

loveisagirlnameddaisy Sun 30-Oct-16 07:55:44

Long term on-off dieting is very confusing for the body's metabolism and you will struggle to lose weight with this approach. You actually need to eat to lose weight (unless you do some form of extreme starvation). It sounds counter-intuitive but it's true.

I'd meal plan for the next month, healthy meals with a couple of healthy snacks and plenty of exercise. Don't worry about the scales, judge yourself by how you feel and how your clothes fit.

loveisagirlnameddaisy Sun 30-Oct-16 07:57:13

Take a look at the Body Coach for easy exercise routines that you can fit into your day and meal ideas. He has a very sensible regime.

keeponkeepinon Sun 30-Oct-16 07:58:00

My instant reaction to that is, yes, three sensible meals, low calorie or low carb, or both?
Can't stop it you see. Constantly looking for the answer, the right thing to do but it doesn't work.

TooTweeOrNotTooTwee Sun 30-Oct-16 08:01:05

Maybe work out the foods that cause you to fall off the wagon, so to speak, and consciously avoid being around those? Just don't keep them in the house.

And agree exercise - but even so much for calories burned but for feeling good about yourself - this will make you less likely to eat unhealthy things.

Also I find consistency is key. If I start making exceptions e.g. pizza/chocolate is ok on weekends etc I just put all the week's weight lost back on on the weekend.

PosiePootlePerkins Sun 30-Oct-16 08:02:27

I get what you are saying exactly. Come and join us on the No S diet thread! Its just what you are talking about. No snacks, seconds or sweets except for days beginning with S eg the weekends and special days like birthdays. I started it because, like you, I just didn't know how to lose weight having tried so many times. The weight loss is slow, about 1/2lb a week, but I am doing it to change my relationship with food and am happy for slow weight loss. Theres a website which tells you the basic rules, and a book if you want to know a bit more. It is basic common sense and a way of life and I feel very relieved to have found it!

Nishky Sun 30-Oct-16 08:07:25

I tried and failed for years and what finally worked for me was ditching the 'oh I'll start again on Monday' mindset and taking it day by day. If I had a bad day I started afresh the next day. Sometimes I did it meal by meal, so if had a lunch that was off plan, made my tea very on plan.

I did Slimming World, and lost 5 stones over 2.5 years, so it was slow, but I never gave up, my average weekly loss was under a pound, but they all add up over time.

Don't be hard on yourself- that is key too.

LunaLambBhuna Sun 30-Oct-16 08:10:15

I think you are me so I'm watching with interest and hoping for an answer!

keeponkeepinon Sun 30-Oct-16 08:13:53

I've floated around the same half stone for at least two years, if I could at least get through that barrier it would be a start. It would make me see that it is possible.
I'd like to just go on bsd and do it fast, but every time I look at a different plan I know in my heart what will happen. Crazy. I can't even believe in myself to do one week. So depressing.

femfemlicious Sun 30-Oct-16 08:33:50

Exactly nishky said, stop the oh I've fallen off the band wagon so ill stop. Keep going on, it's a marathon not a race. If you eat too much today start again tomorrow. If you eat too much at lunch, try to eat less dinner.

I've lost about 9kg over the past about 4 months. Started with juicing. Like in the morning I would just have a coffee then i would just have an apple on my 20 minute walk home after dropping kids off. Then I would have a vegetable juice (beetroot, kale, frozen berries with a handful of nuts) for lunch and a normal dinner. I actually lost about 2kg in one week doing this. Couldn't keep it up and I actually gained back about 1kg of this but the boost of loosing that and how much better I felt made me determined to keep on losing weight.

Now I'm on a highish fat and lowish carb lifestyle and I still have a downward trend of loss. My vice is my evening wine though blush. If I didn't drink I would be really skinny by now.

Now I still don't eat breakfast. I have a coffee with double cream in the morning to give me energy. Lunch is a little bit of rice/pasta with mixed veg and lots of meat /chicken. Dinner pretty much whatever I want within reason.

You have got to be determined to keep trying no matter what.

LiveLifeWithPassion Sun 30-Oct-16 08:48:29

What do you like to eat op?
Eat meals containing food you actually like. Obviously not pie and chips everyday, but hey if you like that kind of food then you can make little tweaks to make it healthier by having a few homemade potato wedges and make the pie using filo pastry etc. You get the idea.

Eat 3 meals of food you like, make sure it contains lots of veg/salad, drink plenty of water, fill in the time between meals doing stuff if you're eating out of boredom. Be active, have fun.

duckwalk Sun 30-Oct-16 11:09:59

Try downloading the Virtual Gastric Band hypnosis app. It recommends guidelines to eating;
1. If you feel hungry drink some water then see how you feel about half an hour later.
2. Only eat when you feel hungry.
3. Stop eating as soon as you feel full.
4. Put your cutlery (or sandwich/burger) down between bites. It gives you time to think "am I hungry?" before eating again.
5. Listen for "The Sigh". When you are full, you will sigh. It's about trying to listen out for it and listening to your body.

I downloaded it about 4 months ago and joined the Facebook page, which I'd highly recommend as its a very busy page with lots of advice and progress photos.

I have been listening to the hypnosis at night when I go to bed (it doesn't matter if you fall asleep). But I haven't been consistent with it at all due to other things going on in my life, but the results people are having are great!

The key to it is the guidelines, which we all know anyway, but the hypnosis sessions reinforce them. It's about listening to your body, when you are hungry and when you are full.

Good luck, I know how disheartening it can be.

keeponkeepinon Sun 30-Oct-16 15:35:58

Thanks all, I might give myself a break and just look at every meal I'm thinking of having and ask myself, is this healthy? You know whether a meal is basically healthy or not don't you? But it's the sudden moments of weakness that overcome me, where I just think sod it I'm having buttered toast for breakfast, and I do. That sort of thing. I know it's not a healthy breakfast but in a flash I've done it. Like urge overcomes common sense just for that crucial moment.
I so wanted to have a stone off by Christmas, I'd be feeling so much better about myself.

desperatehousewife2 Sun 30-Oct-16 21:53:56

I could have written exactly what you have. I don't know what the answer is. I think I have a damaged relationship with food after years of doing every sort of diet. Some successful but in latter years not. I feel I've tried everything in the last few years and I seem to be heavier now than ever. I've also tried the 'don't diet, just have three sensible meals a day' but inevitably I have wine along with snacks, treats etc and have to finish whatever treats are in the house. And test I know, don't have them in the house but either I can't stop myself from buying them or my husband (who is a very fit, slim guy) will have something treatwise. Anyway, I have to do something now. Any interest in buddying up, taking each day as it comes and sharing hoe things have gone for you? Even if it's been bad?

desperatehousewife2 Sun 30-Oct-16 21:54:53

*yes I know, not test I know

PosiePootlePerkins Sun 30-Oct-16 22:01:40

Sorry to go on about No S but you can have treats at the weekend, and eat 3 sensible meals in the week... that is what it is all about. So you never feel deprived for too long because theres a built in 'release valve'. Slow weight loss but at a realistic and manageable level. I would really recommend that you have a quick look at the website. I have been following it for a month now and can see it being something I will do for life. My user name on the forum is Bluebell if you want to take a look at my rambling thoughts on there, I've posted quite a bit for support!

keeponkeepinon Sun 30-Oct-16 22:02:31

flowers shall we?

keeponkeepinon Sun 30-Oct-16 22:03:55

Posie I will have a look, thank you flowers

desperatehousewife2 Sun 30-Oct-16 22:13:40

Let's do it Keepinkeepinon!! Ok my general plan I think is to cut out bread (eating lots these days) and try to increase veg intake. Tomorrow is a bank holiday here tomorrow (in Ireland) so I'm going to try to have eggs of some sort in the morning, not sure what to have for lunch yet and we have left over lasagne so will have that with veg. Will try to drink lots of water (may finish off the end of the bottle of red wine to have with the lasagne but there's only about a glass left). What about you, any thoughts of what you might do generally?

keeponkeepinon Sun 30-Oct-16 22:54:20

Very similar here, I think eggs are an excellent start to the day, lunch might be so.e tinned mackerel and rocket maybe some cottage cheese and dinner not sure yet. Main thing first thing will be to avoid the bread and sugary milky coffee...

desperatehousewife2 Sun 30-Oct-16 23:17:00

Ok how about we try to prop each other up while we do this.I think I've become addicted to carbs and sugars but like you when I do the low carb thing I end up going back on the carbs as well as on high fat stuff! 🙄 I've tried every other diet going too so I don't know what the overall solution is but let's try to take it day by day. Don't know what your situation is like but I work full time with over an hour long commute each way and 1dc who's 2 so days can be long and busy but let's try to check in daily over next few days and see how it's going if that suits you? If you don't want to, no worries honestly. Just figured you described exactly the way I've been feeling, full of despair at ever regaining my mojo and destined to just see my weight go up and up. So maybe if we try the buddy system and aim for Christmas as a target to see some loss it might have some sort of effect. We can but try!

keeponkeepinon Mon 31-Oct-16 08:02:11

That sounds great housewife. Just to say I've started looking at the no s diet website that posie suggested, I am only halfway down the first page but it sounds very sensible. And it's a good read, a bit of straight talking tough love! I'm going to read more but it seems just a sensible way of being. So I'll be using this principle and see how it goes. It's strict but not restrictive iykwim. Is there a thread on here too posie? I'll try and find it and hop on there.
Kids on half term here so a slow start to the day. Got 3dc two at school and one almost 2, so between activity clubs and a toddler and part time work I'm generally busy! Just had a coffee and will scramble some eggs in a bit.

PosiePootlePerkins Mon 31-Oct-16 12:35:51

Hi OP, glad you have had a look at No S, it is such a sensible approach and not a diet in the traditional sense. Yes we have a thread called 'The 's' diet' in weight loss chat, the OP of that thread has disappeared and it is named incorrectly (should be The No S diet), but never mind! There's only myself and one other regular poster at the moment but I like to keep logging in with my thoughts and to record my weekly week weight loss. I also post on the forum a fair bit as I mentioned.
Good luck whatever you decide, I do get where you are coming from having been in a very similar state of mind myself only a month ago. No S has given me a framework which I find realistic and manageable.

Whatabloodyidiot1 Mon 31-Oct-16 12:58:05

I think the problem is youre looking for an answer that is quick and easy and requires the minimum amount of effort/willpower.
It just doesn't exist, the reason we all jump on new diet bandwagons is because we genuinely believe that this is it, this will be the one thing that actually works. But it doesn't, and if never will, because you can't follow a plan for the rest of your life.
I was like you until I was 36 and then something in me changed. For the first time in my life started exercising, I didnt 'diet' or stick to any kind of food plan. I ate well, I ate carbs on the days I exercised but lowered them for days when I didnt.
I've never stopped having a bar of choc when I fancy or a glass of wine either, I don't ever count calories or weigh myself, I'm now a size 8-10 and fitter than I've ever been.
If you really want to change you have to think long term instead of looking for quick fixes. You know this because you've been on a diet for ten years and it hasn't worked.
Take it one meal at a time, drink a lot of water and start exercising. Nothing else works.

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