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Destined to be obese forever!

(42 Posts)
Ohdearducks Sat 08-Oct-16 16:29:01

I've been fat since 2003 (I think) I was a size 10/12 and thought I was fat back then! I'm now pushing a size 24.
No matter what I do I can't seem to stop eating shit, I crave salt and sugar all the time. I can't stick to a diet because I am undisciplined/weak willed/lazy. I now have a knee injury that can't heal because of the enormous weight it has to lug around all day long.
I've never taken my kids swimming and would love to but I'm ashamed of my body sad
I had a new baby 5 months ago, I'm ebf her and I'm now hungrier than ever all the fucking time. I want to be slim again I really do but I can't manage more than a couple of days healthy eating before I fall off the wagon and gorge myself on utter shit. Fuck!! I'm not even sure why I'm posting this here, maybe I just need to vent but hopefully someone can relate? Or someone can help me understand/stop my destructive behaviour. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself! I want my kids to have a healthy mum, I want to have energy for them and not pass on this lazy, shitty behaviour angry

imjessie Sat 08-Oct-16 16:36:03

Have you tried slimming world ? It's great for 'eaters ' .. no counting just following doe simple rules .. I know loads of people that have lost stones and stones .

Ohdearducks Sat 08-Oct-16 16:57:33

I haven't, mainly because I'm frightened I won't stick to it, I'll make all the right noises and go along once or twice then I'll gorge and not want to go back for fear of having put on weight again. Maybe I should just sign up though and try to prove myself wrong.

RavioliOnToast Sat 08-Oct-16 17:50:25

Hi! Ducks

I'm really at a loss now also. I can't believe how much I actually weigh now. I'm hoping eating from a kids sized plate will help. sad

NyronNosworthy Sat 08-Oct-16 18:00:58

Hi OP, I've asked myself "why am I eating like this" for years now. I started slimming world 2 weeks ago and I have to say I'm enjoying it so far.

I was almost 15 stone, with at least 4 to lose. I was getting bigger by the day. I always said " I'll do better tomorrow" but never did.

The key for me is planning, if I plan and have healthy food available then I honestly believe I will stick to this. It's the first time I've been optimistic about weight loss.

I know for you time will be precious with a new born but even 2 weeks in I'm feeling so positive. I lost 5.5lb in my first week and hope for 2-3 this week. I know it will get harder in the long run but I NEED to do this.

I was referred to SW from my local pharmacy- I get 12 weeks free, it's maybe worth googling to see if that's an option locally? I'm hoping for a decent loss during this time which will hopefully spur me on to become a paying member or to keep it up myself.

I was dubious about starting but I can honestly say I've not been hungry- it's not a diet really. It's just eating "normally" I think- something I've not done for my whole adult life
Good luck, think positive xx

Ohdearducks Sat 08-Oct-16 18:26:14

Hi Ravioli me too, I'm so depressed about it all which doesn't help in fact makes me worse -comfort eating. I go through a cycle of anger and sadness then bingeing then anger at myself and depression then more bingeing. I don't know what ls wrong with me! The kiddy plate sounds like a good idea! I might give it a go myself.

Nyron, thank you for your supportive words. I'm seeing the practice nurse next week so I'll ask about the 12 weeks free, maybe it will give me the kick start I need.

reader77 Sat 08-Oct-16 18:28:59

Hello...look up Zoe Harcombe. She explains that we can literally become physically addicted to some foods. Knowing this really dispels a lot of the guilt and self-disgust that perpetuates compulsive eating. It's not your fault it's addictive!

ALemonyPea Sat 08-Oct-16 18:35:25

Oh Op, I was like this in April. Unhappy, nearly into a size 22 (well probably 22 if I didn't wear leggings) and needing to lose weight for an operation. I joined Slimming World in April, thinking I'd not stick it longer than a month, yet here I am, 5 stone lighter and about to go to the GP next week to get my referalmfor my operation.

I am a huge emotional eater, yet I haven't felt the need as much doing SW. I don't deprive myself of anything, I eat a much better diet but feel full after every meal.

You CAN do it, your head needs to be in the right place though and you need real life support, so if you can't get that at home, then join a group.

If you're not there yet, try looking at your food portions and seeing what you can change. Have at least a third of fruit or veg with a meal, lean cuts of meat, nothing fried or processed, and have a treat a day.

Ohdearducks Sat 08-Oct-16 18:57:56

Alemonypea that's fantastic! Wow 5 stone in 6 months! Well done you. That's so encouraging to hear, I will definitely give SW a go! I need to lose about 8 or 9 stone I think maybe more I'm sure I must be almost 20 stone now. It's awful to write that down.sad

RavioliOnToast Sat 08-Oct-16 19:35:05

Lemony do you mind if I ask, do you have a lot of loose skin? Losing such a massive amount of weight in such a short time?

ALemonyPea Sat 08-Oct-16 21:03:31

Ducks, I still have 3 stone to go, it is doable.

Ravioli, no I don't have saggy skin. I have a saggy lower stomach, but that is from having huge pregnancy bumps and 3 c sections.

Beebeeeight Sat 08-Oct-16 21:09:08

I hear you.

I've been obese since 2007.

Though I was fat before- so wish I'd appreciated my healthy body!

I really don't have any excuse now. I'm just in the habit of not exercising and eating whatever I like whenever I like.

Every day I say to myself I'll change tomorrow.

I think it just feels like such a huge mountain to climb. I'd have to lose 50lbs for anyone to notice!

Ohdearducks Sat 08-Oct-16 22:37:34

Bee you sound like me, exercise is my mortal enemy at the moment I'm just an eating machine. Each day I tell myself that I'm going to stop with the junk and each day I let myself down. Results take a long time to see so it feels like you're getting nowhere for a long time when you're dieting I think that's why I've given you so many times.

imjessie Sun 09-Oct-16 02:02:25

For me the key Is to not get hungry . I fill myself up with free food and stick to the rules and it's fine . It's if I'm limited with food or get hungry I know I'm in trouble . I'm not obese but I very easily could be as I'm an emotional eater . I'm trying to lose 2 stone to get me back to a size 8 .. it's still a hard battle for me . Def ask for the referral as they will look at it from a financial point of view .if you are slimmer now you will save the NHS money later ... I have to get my weight down because I watched my dad die from complications of T2 diabetes and it was a nasty painful death .. I don't want that for me or my children.

MyCatsHateMLMtoo Sun 09-Oct-16 03:17:01

Ohdear back in January this year I was a size 24 sad and very miserable because I had dieted for decades but it never ever lasted and I felt ashamed, a failure, lazy, stupid etc. I certainly identify with your fears about dieting again because I too felt scared at the prospect of embarking on yet another diet. You see, I knew it would fail.

Then I learned about low carb eating and wondered if it was the answer. I did loads of research over the next couple of months and finally in March decided to commit to cutting out carbs completely (except for certain veg to the tune of 20grams a day) for a month. I didn't want to because I loved my carbs and relied on them to make me feel better, although to be honest they actually made me feel like shit hmm.

Anyway, Low Carb High Fat is a way of eating where you get most calories from healthy natural fats like butter, olive oil, animal fats and not refined factory produced oils. The ratio is something like 70%fat 25% protein 5% carbs (vegetables), but this can be adjusted.

I was scared when I started doing it because I had been brought up to eat low fat high carb. It seemed so wrong to eat butter! and add olive oil when cooking! However, the difference it made to the taste of food was incredible and guess what else, Ohdear, the fat I ate made me full for HOURS so I stopped snacking. I only eat when hungry so don't bother with breakfast and I eat less at lunch and dinner because eating fat makes you satiated like nothing else. Seriously.

Apparently carbs can trigger some people (like myself) to want to eat more because our body does not recognise them as food and the "I'm Full" switch doesn't get switched on. This means I used to be able to eat and eat (binge) even when obviously not hungry but I was iyswim.

Does that make sense?

I am now a size 16/14 and my fat% has decreased from 50% to 37% (as of last weekend). This despite eating so much fat every day. The LCHF way of eating (it isn't a diet because I am doing this for ever now, carbs cause me harm and I don't want or need them) has given me a sense of freedom I never dreamed would happen.

I eat delicious foods (bacon! grin), feel full, loads of energy, great skin (complimented the other day), no aches and pains, no snoring. Do some googling and have a look at a site called, that's where I started my research.

Don't be afraid to cut the carbs, give it a month, you will be converted. Good luck.

moomin11 Sun 09-Oct-16 09:27:25

I've always struggled with my weight and like you was starting to feel resigned to the fact that I would always be big because even though I desperately wanted to change I just couldn't do it on my own. I thought for a while I needed help of some sort and considered hypnotherapy, counselling, a personal trainer/dietician etc. My SIL was doing Slimming World so I eventually (after at least a month of procrastination) decided to join. I absolutely dreaded going to that first meeting and kept telling myself I'd never stick to it. 4 weeks in I've lost over half a stone and feel motivated for the first time in years. I think the reason it works for me is that there's lots of foods that you can eat as much as you want of, so you don't feel hungry or like you are dieting really. The group is really supportive and non-judgy and my consultant is lovely. I'd recommend giving it a go, even just for a month and see if you like it.

Runningupthathill82 Sun 09-Oct-16 10:02:41

No matter what I do I can't seem to stop eating shit

This is the phrase that really stuck out for me, OP.
How is it that you eat junk food - is it in the house? If so, why?
Do you go to a nearby shop to buy chocolate or crisps? If so, can you put a new habit in place to prevent that from happening?
Do you buy that stuff at the supermarket? If so, why? Don't go down the junk food aisles!

My DH will happily eat whatever is in the house, junk-wise, so we don't have it in. Ever. If I wanted to binge right now, the most sugary, junky thing I could find would be raspberries.

You don't need to stick to a diet, you need to start eating healthily, for life - and a good first step would be not having ready, constant access to the foods that you crave and which ultimately make you overweight and unhappy. That way temptation is much easier to deal with IME.

Ohdearducks Sun 09-Oct-16 13:14:55

If course you're right running don't buy it can't eat it. I know this yet I take no notice of the clear sense this makes. I think I have deep seated issues around self sabotage but no more, I'm determined to put I stop to my own stupidity. I'm going to sit down today and write out some goals to work towards, I've found a slimming world group just around the corner from me which I'm going to join next week and I'm going to start walking as much as I can with the baby in the buggy. Small steps but it's a start, I'm going to keep posting here to keep myself motivated too.

GinAndSonic Sun 09-Oct-16 13:23:54

I spoke to a woman the other day who lost 12 stone in 12 months on slimming world. I need to lose 7-8stone, and I think I'll rejoin and stick to it properly. I was so inspired.

imjessie Sun 09-Oct-16 13:47:15

Good luck ... it's doable .. if you are the sort of person who needs to be scared into then get the programme about diabetes on catch up .. it's properly shocking how people don't realise what a scary Illness is it and only caused by lifestyle choices .

Ohdearducks Sun 09-Oct-16 14:12:39

Great to here success stories thanks all

Ohdearducks Sun 09-Oct-16 14:14:50

Jessie I'm too much of a wuss and scared it will make me spiral in my current state of mind but I'll keep it mind for when I'm stronger mentally and may be in need of a kick up the arse.

Porpoises Sun 09-Oct-16 14:33:33

Why do you think you self sabotage? It would be useful to address that, otherwise you will be fighting a battle against your subconcious. Much better to get it on your side.

imjessie Sun 09-Oct-16 15:26:01

I was over fed as a child and rewarded with food and my dad showed all his affections through food . I eat if I'm upset and it's all tied up in my emotions . I'm not massively overweight but absolutely have the potential to be .. slimming world has solved all my problems plus the fact I hate being fat .

Ohdearducks Sun 09-Oct-16 17:22:30

Porpoises- I have deeply ingrained feelings that am stupid, undeserving, not good enough,ugly etc probably from a lack of a loving environment from my parents and nearly my entire school years being rejected and/or bullied by my peers. It never ever goes away, I think I punish myself by keeping myself fat to subconsciously reinforce these ideas about myself. I honestly don't know why or how to stop.😢

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