Tell me what to do! 2 stone to lose but I can't work out how to do it

[CherryCarmex]

I've put on a couple of stone over the past two years, various things contributing to my weight gain including the breakdown of my marriage and being on antidepressants. I drank and ate without caring for way too long, becoming obsessed with crisps and drinking lots of alcohol. I'm coming up to my 40th at the end of this year and really want to shed the weight. I reckon I'm around 13 stone and I'd like to be 11. Am under no illusions that ever be a size 6 or anything, it's not the way my body is built, but I do want to fit into my clothes again (size 12-14).

In April, I started the Body Coach 90 day SSS and gave it a really good go for a month or so. Then, we went on holiday to Italy and it all went to pot. I tried to get back on the wagon but, if I'm honest, I don't think it's the diet for me - I'm vegetarian and found the quantities of Quorn overwhelming. Didn't really miss chocolate or anything, more hummus and fruit!

Since then I've kind of toyed with doing the 5:2 for a few weeks over the summer, surprised myself at how okay I found the 500 calorie days but didn't lose a huge amount. Looking back, I think it's probably because the other five days I really did eat whatever I wanted and probably went way over in terms of calories, and didn't really exercise.

At the beginning of this week I decided to go back on a basic calorie controlled diet, 'budgeting' 1200 calories a day but have already broken this. My work involves lots of social events - this week, I've reviewed a restaurant one evening, been to a networking event last night, and am going to two launches this evening. 1200 calories just doesn't seem that practical and I'm erring towards giving the 5:2 another go but with more careful monitoring of the five days plus upping my exercise.

I work from home so am very sedentary. I know this doesn't help at all. I've just bought an exercise bike and plan to use this for days when I don't leave the house. Am also a member of a lido so will be swimming a couple of times a week, and am toying with the idea of doing the Coach to 5k plan (I got halfway through this but had to go into hospital this time last year and the recuperation hit me hard).

Writing this feels like I'm full of excuses - I want to lose the weight but am not prepared to sacrifice my social events or love of food, and haven't really made the effort to exercise. The positives? I love cooking and do make all my meals from scratch, it's all good vegetarian meals with plenty of veg (my favourite books are the Anna Jones ones which are pretty healthy). I don't eat a lot of dairy or bread products. My weak points are portion size (I have a hefty appetite), booze (I would drink every night if I could, although cut it out completely when doing the Body Coach!), and I have a selective sweet tooth (although often sated with dark choc/fresh fruit).

So what would you do in my position? I feel like I'm at the point where it's all too overwhelming to try to work out a plan. Please tell me what to do!

[Eolian]

Sounds like cutting portion size and being strict about the booze are the way forward. The portion size thing is hard, but you'll train yourself to need less. Better than being a slave to a restrictive diet which is socially awkward and makes you feel like rebelling because it's so specific. Any detailed, restrictive diet also requires far too much thinking about your diet imo.

Use a smaller plate, don't allow yourself seconds. Fruit for pudding. Bit of booze/cake/whatever at the weekend. Accept that weight loss will be slow but sustainable.

Bogging yourself down with complex rules you won't stick to long-term is overwhelming and counter-productive imo.

[Runningupthathill82]

My advice would be to forget any idea of "diets" or weight goals and decide that from now on, you're eating like a slim person, and eating healthily for life.

If you eat like someone who is slim and healthy, you will become that way in time. Exercise will help, obviously.

And of course slim people socialise, eat out, drink alcohol etc, you just have to make sure it balances out for the whole week.

I keep on track by monitoring my intake on mfp (1200cals) but the main "rules" are to eat exactly what I like - which is tasty, good, whole, foods every day. If it's healthy, I can eat it. If it's bad for me, I don't.

I avoid eating rubbish which makes me feel crap, so that means:
No processed food
No fast food
No crisps
No fizzy drinks (Inc sugar free)
Generally no biscuits, cakes, sugary yoghurt etc - but I'll have pudding maybe once a month, if I'm eating out.

There's no beginning and no end, no weight goal. This is how I now eat every day, and it works.

This is what I ate yesterday:
Breakfast - full fat Greek yoghurt with blueberries
Lunch - halloumi with rocket, beetroot and mint dip
Dinner - rainbow trout with broccoli and green beans.
No snacks aside from 4 cups of tea with full fat milk.

It's good proper food and I can eat like this forever. Diets don't work as they don't change the underlying "norm."
I think the key is to forget quick-fix measures like the 5:2 and focus on health, not weight.
I work in a similar industry to you,from the sounds of it, and eating well is entirely do-able if you always pick the healthiest thing on the menu and savour a glass of really good wine, making it last longer.

Hope that makes some sense, apologies for the lengthy post.