just saw that photo...

[diamond457]

I was at a christening today. Had my picture taken with dp and dd and I look huge. Look like I've swallowed a ball and my face is all chubby.
When I met dp I was a slim 12. I'm now a comfortable size 16 five years on and put on 3 stone.
To make matters worse I'm going to an all inclusive holiday to Ibiza tomorrow and I've been dreading it because I feel disgusting. In a world of selfies, bikinis and showing off gorgeous clothes I just want to crawl under a rock and hide.
I thought I looked quite pretty in a maxi dress but the picture confirmed I look horrid. What I see in the mirror and in a photo are totally different.

I've been under a lot of stress lately and I've seeked comfort in food. When I'm in a depressed mood I have no desire to cook and I've often phoned in a takeaway to save myself more stress of buying, cooking and cleaning up.

I do enjoy cooking and cook healthy meals when I do cook but I have big portions and always look for something sweet after.

I need to change. I cannot go through life looking and feeling like this. I said to dp I was going to eat healthily on holiday and he just laughed, saying it's impossible to lose weight at an all inclusive holiday.

I'm just so embarrassed about my body. I'm not sure I can look at junk food the same way. I want to enjoy life. Have confidence. Run around with dp in a pair of shorts in the summer and not feel embarrassed or flabby. I had to go to the chemist and ask for anti chafe cream because my thaighs are so huge.
I want to go on holiday and enjoy myself but I just feel like crying knowing I will be surrounded by beautys in their skimpy swimwear and heres me sitting worrying about chaffing and hiding my celulite.
Words of comfort needed.

[JenniferYellowHat1980]

Go on holiday and enjoy yourself. Do not beat yourself up. If you feel like it, make a few healthy switches while you're there, maybe plan ahead by reading some health and fitness mags, swim, walk ... Then come back energised and ready to tackle it.

I am a similar size and I look like a middle aged mess at 39. But I have two weeks of full on desk bound work ahead of me Make the most of your holiday.

[TheCricketWidow]

I agree, make the most of your holiday and then make changes when you get back. You'll be the only one thinking about what you look like, nobody else will care because they'll be too busy thinking about what they themselves look like!
Ive made myself a promise that this is to be my last fat summer, i have about 4 stone to lose - i have to do it and im determined to.
Have a lovely time!

[diamond457]

It's so hard isn't it. When actually it's quite simple. Eat healthily and exercise. Cut out all the crap...yet it's so hard to do.
Think I'm going to do slimming world when I get back that way I have a plan that will help me plan in advance what meals and snacks I'm having.

Hopefully by Xmas I will have lost a couple of stone. Easy to say though.

[Flacidunicorn]

Id enjoy ypur holiday. On your return start meal planning, shopping online, buying only what you need.
Id also think about the frequency of eating and watch the clock. If you eat at breakfast, say 8am, make sure nothing food wise passes your lips till 12.30. then nothing further till 5.30pm and then nothing till 10pm. IME people eat something every couple of hours, a biscuit here, a bah of crisps there, few pringles etc etc. Cut them out, it saves many many calories a day.

[diamond457]

Good luck cricketwillow. That's a really good motivator thinking about next summer and all the lovely clothes to wear and feel great in.

I have two bin bags full of size 12s to go back into if and when I do slim down. Can't believe I've let it get this bad.
That photo. I actually blushed because I knew all my Facebook friends would have seen it. I deleted it even though it's a lovely picture with my dp and dd as a family. I just feel ashamed.

[dudsville]

Those pics are hard to see. My OH just got out a photo album of three years ago when I was at my heaviest and I just never realised what it looked like to others. I still have an extra stone to lose and am really struggling (just developed a stupid and unhelpful taste for ice cream). I hate that you feel ashamed. You've just had an important wake up call. You already do some really great things like your home cooking. Give yourself credit and work for what you want rather than sinking down in to shame, build on what's already working well, you don't have to start from scratch!

[diamond457]

It's strange how you are blind to it isn't it. Well done on losing all that weight, a stone is nothing. Ice cream is good. I have an ice cream maker and its makes the most delicious ice cream but pouring all that sugar into the bowl just feels wrong. Think I will try some fat free frozen yogurt in it next time I get it out.
Good luck losing your last stone. And congrats.

[dudsville]

The thing is Diamond things could be worse, a size 16 isn't so bad. I'm only a small 14 now where I was at the stretched end of 16. It's so easy for the weight to creep on when you're not watching.

I'm going to forget I ever heard of your ice cream maker, I would be doing that daily! I've been enjoying (and I mean that really) greek yogurt with fruit - pricey indulgent fruit like blueberries and raspberries, without anything else added. Might that be a treat you'd enjoy?

[diamond457]

I love Greek yog. I love the full fat one but that is off limits now and all the honey I pour into it. Raspberries mixed in sounds really good though.
I actually can't stand low fat yogurts like mullerlight they taste of strong sweetner but I can cope with plain yogurt.
I bought a slimming world mag and some healthy eating ones to read on hol. Hopefully I can report back in a few months with a good weight loss.