Help choose a diet to stick to!

(17 Posts)
harryhausen Fri 08-Apr-16 09:05:23

Right. Enough is enough. I'm 43. Successful in my career. Lovely family. Lovely parents. I work from home for myself. The only thing I simply cannot get a handle on is my weight.

I'm 16 ish stone. 5ft 6 and am a size 18. I currently walk at least 5 miles a day with my young dog. My eating just gets worse and worse. I've tried so many diets in my life and failed at all of them. The only one I lost weight with was SW and then as soon as I lost 2 stone I ate my way back to original weight and more. I'm beginning to feel I need a shrink.

I developed large breast when I was very young (about 10) which started lots of uninvited comments on my body - sniggering, staring, whispering, pointing. I don't know if this has had a long, slow, deep effect on me. 18 months ago, I had a breast reduction. I was really pleased I'd done it. I felt liberated. I still don't regret it. However, it hasn't made me feel more confident as I thought it may do. I simply have lighter breasts smile.
When I was 16 my Dad used to make comments that I was putting on weight (looking back to photos I really wasn't). I totally adore my Dad and he's really fit now in his 70's. I think this effected me too.
A few years ago, I discovered my DH was about to embark on an affair (long story) in the rows that followed he blurted out that he wished I'd loose weight (I really was fat then). He later retracted it, and we had counselling. However I've never got it out of my head and a part of me thinks "fuck you". Maybe that's why I overeat?
However now, I really really need to loose the weight for myself. Not to change myself (because I do quite like myself) but simply to feel more comfortable and lighter.

I feel like a firework that's spun off a wheel. I don't know which way to turn. Diets I've tried are -

slimming World - success but straight back to bad diet when I have any success.
Weight Watchers - long time ago. Couldn't counting everything.
My Fitness Pal - great app but I 'cheat' it.
5:2 - dizzy with hunger.
16:8 - not too bad with this, but binging a bit within eating window.
Virtual Gastric Band - I like this approach with the hypnotic element. I can recognise genuine hunger but find it hard to stop.

I did C25k too and enjoyed it. I toned up but lost no weight. Since getting the dog I'm finding it hard to fit in the running as I'm virtually out all morning.

If anyone is still reading (thank you) ....am I a lost cause? Has anyone else got their head straight and found their way out of the mire?

pippistrelle Fri 08-Apr-16 10:25:37

Hello harryhausen.

You're not a lost cause. Or, at least, if you are, then I am too. (Which may be a possibility smile

I also wouldn't say I'm out of the mire yet either but I'm optimistic that I'm getting there bit by bit. I think it's one of those things where you really have to find your own way. Some of us do get a bit evangelical about what has worked/is working for us, but we're all different.

I've reached a place where I don't think it really matter what diet or method you use because, in essence, they all work the same way: by seeking to ensure that you consume fewer calories than you need. So, any method will get you there. I chop and change all the time, and find that reading loads and having a new plan to follow or set of recipes to use helps to keep me on track.

The psychological aspects you mention are trickier to handle, but I think you're right in identifying that they're key for you in this process. Just recognising the impact they've had on you will help you to move forward in spite of them.

Best of luck to you.

glenthebattleostrich Fri 08-Apr-16 11:16:25

Have a look at low carb. I've list 2 stone (2 more to go) DH has list 5.

Can you run with the dog? I do find running gives me the head space to work out stress so less alcohol and emotional eating.

Have you had any individual therapy?

harryhausen Fri 08-Apr-16 12:22:51

Thanks for both your replies. It's helpful to talk about it.

Never tried low carb. Where do I start with it? Sorry to sound a bit thickgrin. Some of my friends have done well with low carb. One them has lost a fair bit after being morbidly obese all his life and now had diabetes.

I've never had individual therapy no. That's something I might consider too. Again, not sure if know where to start.
Re: running with the dog wouldn't work I think as he so sociable he'll want to stop and play with everyone. I think I need to find the time to run on my own.

Jaimx86 Fri 08-Apr-16 13:39:35

Definitely low carb. Cravings virtually banish. I've done a 10km run this morning and a fast walk with the dog for 30mins and only eaten two eggs. I've put lunch on (veggies and mackerel) but I'm not waiting for it salivating.

As a teen, I just ate low cal/fat and constantly thought about food.

There are so many books/websites on the basics. Go over to the low carb thread and see what others have read.

Jaimx86 Fri 08-Apr-16 13:41:06

Also, I wouldn't rely on the running to lose weight. Focus on your diet and looking after your general health (stress, sleep, hydration etc).

wonderpants Fri 08-Apr-16 13:48:14

I could have written the OP too.
I don't want to diet. I want to eat 'normally'. I don't want to binge, to eat high calorie food as I perceive it to be tastier.
As a vegetarian, I can't get my head around low-carbing.
I'm thinking about hypnotherapy, but wonder if I am yet again throwing money after a wonder cure instead of just eating less and moving more!

pippistrelle Fri 08-Apr-16 13:50:19

I've just done a low carb variant just for a few days. It was the 'Attack Phase' of the Dukan Diet. I know that I wouldn't find it sustainable but I managed the three (the length of this can be up to seven depending on how much weight you want to lose, and how long you can stand it) days of the Attack Phase and it provided an incentive (in the form of weight loss) to carry on in a more sustainable way. Essentially, you eat only protein for a number of days - so any lean meat, fish or eggs, plus some 0% fat dairy products. It's unlimited so you can eat any time you're hungry, as long as it's protein. You get the boost of losing a sizeable chunk of weight fast. The Dukan Diet's website wants you to sign up - and preferably hand over cash - but provides enough information to be helpful without paying anything.

After this initial phase you switch over to a less restricted phase but to be honest, it's still too restricted for me so I'm now essentially calorie counting but in a low carb sort of way. For me, that really is as simple as just cutting out carbs - so no bread, no potatoes, no rice, that sort of thing.

But there is a low carb board on the site and a poster who runs a regular 'low carb bootcamp' so it might be worth looking out for that because then you'll have the bonus of a support network. I might look into that myself actually.

Jaimx86 Fri 08-Apr-16 14:04:44

Wonder pants look at this keto vegetarian plan for ideas ketodietapp.com/Blog/post/2015/07/05/2-week-vegetarian-keto-diet-plan

TalkMeDownPlease Fri 08-Apr-16 14:14:44

OK. Going to put my neck on the line and sound like a weirdo. Have a look at the Thinking Slimmer website. I am a classic yoyo dieter, have been as slim as size 8 and as large as size 18, have never managed to get my poor relationship with food sorted. I have tried every diet going, always successful when following them, then the minute I've reached target I resume all my bad habits and put it all back on again, and more.
Having reached 41 and 13 stone, out of desperation I bought a slimpod from the Thinking Slimmer website, it cost £30 which given the cost of all the slimming classes over the years didn't seem too bad.
Its a 10 min recording which you listen to each night. You note down any positives each day eg didn't have pudding, felt really full after my meal etc. There are more expensive packages and they are a bit pushy emailing to get you to buy the more expensive one, but I just ignored.
Gradually over time its starting to improve my relationship with food. I am not on a diet so there's no counting/weighing etc, I am just naturally making more healthy choices and not obsessing over what I can and cannot eat. I feel more in control and calm around food. We have 10 million easter goodies in our house and I can eat one small thing then walk away (unheard of for me!)
I have lost 7lb in 7 weeks so far, without feeling like I have needed any willpower whatsoever.
I understand it sounds like a load of old baloney, but I just recognised from your post that sense of, what the hell can I do to sort myself out? Like you I am sorted in all areas of my life, family, friends, work, just this one thing which lets me down/gets me down.
Hope that maybe helps a little bit and good luck.

KatharinaRosalie Fri 08-Apr-16 14:16:39

I wanted to come and recommend low-carb as well. You can eat as much as you want, never hungry. Personally I don't like low fat stuff, so it's been full fat all the way. I've done it for just 10 days and lost 5 pounds (am size 12, so not huge amounts to lose).

Oh and thanks for the link Jaimx, some very interesting ideas.

TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief Fri 08-Apr-16 14:33:28

I'm very similar to you op. I'm so frustrated I can't get a grip of this one issue that I feel is ruining my life.
I've recently been following the Michael Moselys (sp?) diet principles and it's the only one I've been able to stick too.
It's basically a low carb plan too but you can eat lentils and beans. I've also been eating carby veg like sweet potatoes and squash.
It seems to be working and it seems the only time in years that I've been able to control my cravings.
The science behind it makes sense too. The fact that it feels like I have no control normally is because of insulin spikes caused by carbs and sugar.
Wheat especially sends me to overeating.
Once I stopped eating bread, wheat, sugar and limiting carbs, I stopped overeating.

glenthebattleostrich Fri 08-Apr-16 14:35:13

Have a look at biwi s low carb boot camp on here. The rules are simple and the food is amazing, it's quite freeing to eat steak mushrooms and kale all cooked in butter!

I know what you mean about fitting in exercise. I either run at 5 am or 8 pm. No other time I can do it. Now I'm in a routine I no longer find it a chore and really enjoy it. If you want a quick results low time workout the shred works wonders.

harryhausen Fri 08-Apr-16 16:26:44

Wow thanks for all the replies. Really helpful.

Looks like Low Carb might be the way to go as I've never tried it. I admit I eat a lot of bread, pasta and potatoes and also crave sugar so I suppose this is all linked. I love pulses and butternut squash so that Micheal Moseley diet sounds good. Which one is it? I've heard of the 5:2 obviously and maybe a Sugar one? Hopefully it will become clear with a quick googlesmile

I also like the sound of those Fitpods for more positive thinking I'm general.

I may even 'treat' myself to counseling too as a triple approach!

Jaimx86 Fri 08-Apr-16 16:52:38

There's a great low carb postcastb called Low Carb Conversations (free on iTunes) that I learn something new from every time. 30-60 mins long and makes you feel like part of a community. I really think low carb real food is the way forward for the Western world.

Bluecarrot Fri 08-Apr-16 17:07:40

Sounds like you need to work on the psychology aspect first. ( same here!)
After recommendations from MN I picked up a book by Gillian Riley called Eat Less. It isn't just about over eating, it's about working out why you choose the foods you do, how to let yourself eat without guilt, but thinking about the facts about the products you consume ( as opposed to labelling them comfort food vs healthy food vs treats), and that it's not weight you should be focusing on, but health and self esteem.
I'm only about a third of the way through but finding it extremely interesting, non-judgey and an easy read.
Im already leaving food on my plate ( never would have happened before... Unless it was salad!) and feeling more interested in cooking.

Octopus37 Fri 08-Apr-16 17:24:08

Hi, the others have given you some great advice, but maybe you could use the Psychology aspect to channel yourself into the right mindset. It seems to me from your post that you have a good life overall, which hopefully frees you up with time to yourself to exercise and the resources to eat well. I'm sure this doesn't make it easy by any means but it sounds as if you have a lot in your favour. I have a small amount of weight to lose (would love to lose half a stone to ten pounds), but cannot do it or love or money (maybe could do it for money right now but I doubt it). It probably sounds easy tbh I haven't got the successful career (am currently in a bad work situation which is worrying me massively) I am self-employed but worked part time and have just lost my contact. Part of my justification for eating crap is that it is much cheaper - I would love to have loads of money to focus on myself and eating well but at the moment it isn't an option. I also get where you are coming from re your Dad and comments, my Dad gave me a massive complex about an eye problem I have, which I have never forgiven him for. Dont know what the answer is but maybe we just all need to support each other with the psychological aspect somehow - may start on Monday when the kids are back at school.

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