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Polite(ish!) ways of telling my MIL to shut required please !

(15 Posts)
Kittypickle Fri 14-May-04 12:43:24

DH's parents are visiting tomorrow - as they haven't met their only grandson (8 months) and haven't seen their grand-daughter (5) since she was 10 months, MIL should be occupied with them. However, I know she will be incapable of not going on about my weight. I tolerated a week in Spain (they emigrated) listening to her going on about it and really can't be doing with it again. I am going to WW and have lost 17lbs but have no intention telling her that as it's none of her business.

I need polite ways of telling her to shut up. Sarcasm & humour go over her head as she has no sense of humour and she has the most wrinkly face I have ever seen. Suggestions please !!

tiamaria Fri 14-May-04 12:52:06

Kittypickle - Give it to her straight IMO. I'd tell her it's not something you want to discuss. I find that making a statement and sticking to it, not justifying it or elaborating on it is the easiest way. Of course, some people don't abide by the social rules of respecting others and do go on, and on, and on. At that point I'd ignore them totally until they talk about something else. Do you think that might work? How long are they visiting for? Can your patience last that length of time? Good luck!

coddycodcod Fri 14-May-04 12:52:59

say 2 wind your beak in" and laugh

she wont know if youa re serious or not

coddycodcod Fri 14-May-04 12:53:58

get dh to defend you

MadameButterfly Fri 14-May-04 12:56:24

I am sorry but you just have to be honest with her and tell her that if she can't say anything nice not to say anytrhing at all.

It is your body and you are dealing with it. IT IS NONE OF HER BUSINESS.

coppertop Fri 14-May-04 13:04:00

Every time she mentions your weight, start talking about her wrinkles. She might take the hint.

Kittypickle Fri 14-May-04 13:12:52

We've only got her for one day and one night, as that was all they could spare from their shopping trip and I probably won't see her for another 4.5 years after, so it doesn't really matter. Think I might focus on the wrinkle aspect as I don't really feel like being polite to the dreadful woman after all !!!

collision Fri 14-May-04 13:17:51

How awful for you! MIL's are awful arent they? I cant bear mine. I would say 'My mother taught me to that if I cant say anything nice, I shouldnt say anything at all.' And then walk away. Or, 'don't be so rude please, especially in front of the children.' And give her an evil look.

IMO weight should never be mentioned whether it is about being underweight or overweight. HTH

secur Fri 14-May-04 13:21:32

Message withdrawn

aloha Fri 14-May-04 15:00:32

I do like 'wind your beak in" but I think the grown up way is Tiamarias - "I don't want to discuss it" and refusing to acknowledge comments.

It's terribly rude!

tomkitty Thu 20-May-04 06:06:02

So KP, how did it go?

jampot Thu 20-May-04 08:11:09

My MIL was visiting one day and at the same time as my sisters and their dhs. My sis and her were discussing weight loss etc and then she just turned to me (out of the blue) and said "How much weight have you put on?". We were all absolutely gobsmacked at her rudeness. I just said "none" and left it at that.

Freckle Thu 20-May-04 08:18:42

I was talking to a friend the other day at a Virgin Vie party. We were all discussing their anti-wrinkle creams. So I suggested that a more pleasant way to get rid of wrinkles was to put on weight as this does tend to smooth them out At least that way you get to enjoy eating the food.

Kittypickle Thu 20-May-04 08:32:04

It went pretty well in the end, she seems to be mellowing with age. DS is very long for his age and has gone off the charts so she kept on about him. Her rudest comment was " he's huge - must take after your side, all mine were skinny little things" Her wrinkles however are getting worse.....

hazlinh Fri 21-May-04 08:09:21

my mil is absolutely dreadful. she keeps pointing out to dh that my bum has grown so wide. "I've given birth to five kids and yet my bum never got so big!!" she gleefully points out.
I did put on 20 kilos during pg but I don't see why she needs to put it out!!I'm all too painfully aware of the fact!!!!!
we shd unite and revolt against all mils!!!

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