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Am I being hard on myself? Or am I FAT? why can't I tell..,

(39 Posts)
AmIFat Wed 12-Aug-15 19:38:50

I am only 5'1" which is part of the problem as any weight at all shows. Just realised my BMI is 25.8 which puts me in the overweight category. I'M size 12 in shops like next. I don't feel like I am over eating though. I don't calorie count but I'd often feel like, no I won't have that. I don't pig out. But I don't like the feeling of hunger. I'm not an emotional eater. I make good choices. I try only to have one slice of bread a day (although I only manage that every second day). I have to have my breakfast very early (7.15) and then lunch isn't til 12.30 so I'd have a snack which feels small to me given how hungry I feel (half a banana, diet yoghurt). Dinner would be fish or chicken with limited carbs and veg.

I feel like I'm going mad here. I'm being careful. Oh yeah, I do exercise as well, do a 5k run about twice a week, so I'm not super fit but I'm not unfit. I also walk to work and it's about 25 mins away. I feel like I ought to be slim. I'm in my 40s.

Do I just accept this? I have been thinner before but I was hungry for hour long periods in the run up to every meal.

Any advice? either from people who've learned to live with not being slim? Or any tricks that will help.

I did mfp a while back and found it time consuming but it did work but I think 1200 is so few calories. I would probably eat about 1800 on a normal day but I'm active.

do I deserve to be overweight?

be honest.

AmIFat Wed 12-Aug-15 19:40:21

I have about 6 units of alcohol a week. (white wine).

pieceofpurplesky Wed 12-Aug-15 19:47:02

To me you sound fine but you will get posters coming on here saying otherwise. If it makes you feel better lose a few pounds - if you are happy then don't.

DinosaursRoar Wed 12-Aug-15 19:49:01

I'm 5'0", so probably similar to you, but smaller. I did MFP while I was losing te baby weight and was on 1200 cals, then maintenance of 1500 cals (more if I "earn it" through adding exercise in), I think that therefore while 1800 doesn't seem a lot when compared to the diets of average height woman, it probably is over eating for your body. hmm Have you factored the wine calories in? It's a lot per glass.

Sadly, being our stature, any extra weight is really obvious quickly as there's nowhere for it to go, and we just need less food than the leggy woman. Tis a bit shit! (I would be helped greatly if supermarkets only stocked chocolate and cakes on high shelves I can't reach...)

AmIFat Wed 12-Aug-15 19:56:05

Thanks pieceofpurplesky. I'm content. But.....

I guess the question is, how hard do you work to lose the pounds? Kate moss said nothing tastes as good as skinny feels or something, but

I work. I'm single with two kids. SOmetimes though, you watch those weight loss programmes about people trying to lose weight and they are prepared to stay up half the night chopping up vegetables to take to work the next day.

Not sure if it's my age or the severity of the calorie restriction but it's since I first did the 5:2 diet that my default weight has gone up.

Frostycake Wed 12-Aug-15 20:15:34

Have you had your Resting Metabolic Rate tested OP. Im size 12 and in my forties with a similar BMI to you but Im 5'61/2" and was shocked to discover that my body only needs 1100 calories to tick over. Yhere's a misconception I think that we need thousands of calories when we dont. We can exist on very little. Its grim I know.

candybar Wed 12-Aug-15 20:18:02

I'm 5'3 and 10st, size 10/12 - but don't look it, I think if I asked someone to guess my dress size they would probably say a 14.

I have lost a fair amount of weight over the last year but now I'm stuck, my eating habits are almost identical to yours minus the alcohol, I also exercise moderately (cardio) and walk everywhere possible. My weight seems to be 10st 0lb one week then 10st 1lb the next with me losing and gaining the same 1lb every week for the last few months.

At the moment it is getting me down, I'm the owner of a muffin top that I really don't want. I've really limited the carbs this week and only had Weetabix for breakfast with no other carbs at all, not even a banana, and I've not shifted a single lb.

I'm wondering if I should just accept that this is the weight/size that suits me. I have weighed quite a bit less, but I was younger and didn't have children.

Tomorrow I'll have my Weetabix with skimmed milk and sweetener and 1 piece of fruit, 2 hard boiled eggs with salad and either chicken or salmon with veg for dinner. I'll also have fruit (nectarine/satsuma/apple) for snacks and an Alpen light bar with a cup of tea mid afternoon.

I feel like I would benefit from losing another 10lbs, and that I am trying hard but it's just not happening.

I'd love to start a weight loss buddy type of thing to support each other, I could do with the help and encouragement and I'd be happy to give the same. flowers

DinosaursRoar Wed 12-Aug-15 22:32:34

Candybar - I think that's a short woman issue though - a few years ago before DCs when I was a size 6 someone who worked in retail and used to getting woman clothes for them assumed I was a size 10 - but then I didn't have a flat stomach and most woman at a size 6 would be flat stomached, but on someone only 5', that's not a 'skinny' but 'slim' size.

OP - I've heard a lot of woman gained weight after doing the 5:2 - are you sure you didn't relax your eating habits/increase your portion size on your '5' days and then when you stopped it, continued to eat at that level? Just being used to serving up a bit more each meal can easily pile on weight.

It's shit, I hate that I do have to eat less than others my age to keep weight off. But being short just means you don't need much unless you do a lot of exercise.

AmIFat Wed 12-Aug-15 23:16:56

DinosaursRoar, No I'm fairly sure I'm eating the same way I did before the 5:2. I found it hard. But I did it at least once a week anyway for about six months. Now that I'm not doing it at all, my weight has settled a good 7lbs higher than it was when I initially decided I ought to do the 5:2! I'd love to go back to being 9.2lbs now! I've gone up a dress size in the last two years. My life hasn't changed except for, well I'm 2 years older. Age would be an excuse but I'm hoping it's not that!!

Candybar let's do it! I'm walking that line between normal and fat and I really don't want to be on this treadmill for the rest of my life!!!! But the alternative is I go up another size, and then in five years, another??! Until I'm a little five foot one barrel who is as wide as she is tall!!

So I'll be your diet buddy. brew (there's not much milk in that tea, honest!)

AmIFat Wed 12-Aug-15 23:24:44

Frostycake, that is scary but I suspect it's true in my case. I think I only need about 1200 calories a day. I did fitnesspal for a while too and found 1200 hard to stick to. But by the time I'd been doing it for a while, I was about 8 stone 12. People told me I looked great. I was nearly always hungry though. Then I got so fed up of always being on a diet. Even though, people say "don't diet! just eat the right things!". That doesn't work for me. I'm a pescatarian, who doesn't eat biscuits, only very occasionally eats things like takeaways etc... I got a byriania with korma sauce the other day and me and my TWO kids shared it between the three of us! so I am not sitting here eating fried chicken and washing it down with coke asking 'why am I so fat!?'

Anyway, off I go tomorrow. I'll pull the string in my back, press play, another attempt to stave off my fat future! I don't want to find the tv remote controls in my rolls of flab in five years time.

Im being flippant I know, but I'm also a bit scared. I'm getting fatter even though I'm not being lazier or greedier.

StealthPolarBear Wed 12-Aug-15 23:31:19

No op I know exactly what you mean. I'm lucky in that when I know I'm sticking to a diet I do lose weight ( though I have a LOT more to lose than you). But ill go through the odd period where I'm doing all the right things and not losing, or worse, gaining and it's so disheartening.
On the subject of staying up all night chopping vegetables, I've taken to buying ready to eat veg to snack on. I hate pre prepared carrot sticks (love carrots but they're just tasteless) but can keep prepared celery, plus sugar snap peas from the bag and bean sprouts. Wish I could say they satisfied all cravings but they do sometimes satisfy an urge to snack and require no preparation

DinosaursRoar Thu 13-Aug-15 07:01:53

Well if your calorie requirement is low, you either need to reduce your calorie intake to match it/go below so you lose weight, or you need to increase your calorie requirement to match what you are eating.

Is there a way to build 30 minutes exercise extra into each day to start with? The running you are already doing is great, but could you fit in a shorter daily run/long walk? Or fitness DVD? Is there any way to swap out driving to walking any part of your day? The people who are "effortlessly slim" I know are ones who don't do exercise as a special event, but is included in every days routine. (Am going to have to start this myself now dc2 is out of the buggy and I'm walking less, depressing)

MegBusset Thu 13-Aug-15 07:14:40

I'm similar to you OP although a couple of inches taller (just!)

I would suggest swapping the running (pure cardio) for some strength/resistance training (the 30 Day Shred takes the same time as a 5k run). This will build muscle, tone and help with the muffin top, I found cardio left me hungry and liable to eat more but strength training doesn't.

But yeah, i just don't need that much food to survive, sadly.

LaurieFairyCake Thu 13-Aug-15 07:25:57

To me it sounds like you're the natural weight for you - which is a few pounds more than you'd like grin

If you do decide to try to lose a few consider slimming world if you don't like being hungry. I loved the 5:2 but I was suffering blood sugar problems so went into slimming world 5 months ago (and have lost 19pounds very easily).

I can't manage being hungry so SW doesn't feel like 'dieting' to me as there's plenty of 'free' food. The added bonus is the very clear skin and eyes because of the 10 plus portions of veg/fruit.

Like you I only eat one slice of bread a day (or 2 Nimble) and have replaced that with baked potatoes at lunchtime.

It took me 2 weeks to understand the diet and a month to trust it because I was eating a lot more than before. Now it's incredibly easy.

I couldn't do SW if I had emotional issues but you don't

RosesandRugby Thu 13-Aug-15 07:43:06

I'm 5ft tall and overweight. I wear size 10-12 (large bust size) but I look like I'm a 14-16 due to proportions being odd. My gp told me that I only needed 1100 calories a day for my height/build and that 1800 is based on someone of average height (5ft 6) doing 60 mins sports activity a day 7 days a week.

I used to walk my dog 3-5 miles per day (now deceased) and swim regularly and do zumba once a week. I also ride regularly. However I'm eating around 1500 calories but not walking the dog all those miles anymore so obviously the weight is piling on at the moment. confused

I would make an appointment with a nurse and get a proper evaluation of your needs. You may find you need less calories to maintain your current weight than the amount you are actually consuming.

AmIFatMyBMIis25point8 Thu 13-Aug-15 08:01:39

I'm doing myfitnesspal today. It's not just that 1200 sounds very little, but I think I'll be hungry with only that few calories. I'll see how today goes. Started off with a sachet of fruit porridge mixed with a plain pack, (and half of mixture put put in a sandwich bag for next time). I use half water and half ss milk. With 20mls in two cups of tea, still looks like about 70 calories just for milk this morning. Wow, I forget how many calories are in milk.

Rosesandrugby, can a nurse really do the tests necessary to determine how many cals one needs?? I believe you though. I think that as frosty said upthread, this is the grim truth! We need closer to 1200 calories than the 1800 that we're told. I've always known 1800 was too many for me being small.

Aw, your poor dog.. are you ready for a new dog yet? You could call the new dog "topshopsize10"

AmIFatMyBMIis25point8 Thu 13-Aug-15 08:03:01

Laurie, I will take a look at swimmingworld website later at work :-p

RosesandRugby Thu 13-Aug-15 08:10:47

Yes a nurse should be able to help you and if the nurse isn't able to they can refer you to the right person.

I stupidly bought a puppy last week grin I thought I could get out there again but I'm so exhausted I can't even stagger to the car let alone 3 miles round the forest blush He will be grown up soon enough then I will be back out there wandering across the Peak District with my crazy Spaniel grin

DinosaursRoar Thu 13-Aug-15 08:14:06

Hmm, I switched to drinking just black coffee and water in the day, drinking my calorie allowance seemed a waste!

I'd love a dog, but DH is allergic, so selfish! wink

I found a couple of poached eggs was a good way to start my day (you can cheat poach them in a ramekin in he microwave for 20seconds), around 120/130 cals but a protein hit first thing to reduce hunger later.

AmIFatMyBMIis25point8 Thu 13-Aug-15 08:18:31

Yes, gonna switch some teas for herbal teas to skip the milk. Eggs a good idea for breakfast. Walking to work now as always! sad so there's no benefit from this walk to work as I always do it. but off I go.

FrancesOldhamKelseyRIP Thu 13-Aug-15 08:19:16

It sounds like you're probably a perfectly good weight for your age and height from a health POV (although you should factor in your waist measurement. What is it?)

Unfortunately at your height that perfectly good weight looks dumpy. Only you can decide whether a purely cosmetic gain is worth the work you'd need to put in. But I would recommend some weights work and HIIT eg the 30 Day Shred, in addition to your cardio.

AmIFatMyBMIis25point8 Thu 13-Aug-15 08:20:14

AW! I'd love a puppy roses I am mad jealous! Enjoy the tail-wagging! Big eyes staring at ya!

AmIFatMyBMIis25point8 Thu 13-Aug-15 08:22:14

Probably about 31" inches,blush but even when I was size ten I had quite a thick waist. Still, not deluding myself, it's gone up 3 inches.

YeOldeTrout Thu 13-Aug-15 08:32:48

What do you mean 'deserve to be overweight'. It's not a moral consequence. It sounds like you want to be smaller or fitter, fair enough if you want advice on how to do that.

Friend (in her 40s) about your height who does occasional exercise says she can't eat more than about 1200 cal/day or she puts on weight. She eats a lot of veg & gets her love food expressed by cooking for others.

DinosaursRoar Thu 13-Aug-15 08:35:56

There is always benefit to the walk! Can you try to walk faster?

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