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My biggest obstacle is denial..

(23 Posts)
madchocolatemum48 Sun 09-Nov-14 15:08:30

I am very overweight, unfit and unhealthy.
I know this for a fact when I look in the mirror and see someone fat, unattractive, old and tired .
When I see some really nice top on a mannequin but realize I need a size 20 a size I have promised myself I will never buy, but am slowly running out of things to wear.
I know this fact everyday. I know I need to do something. I know it is only going to get worse.
I am in complete denial though that this person I have become is really me. I keep waiting for the light-bulb moment, the final straw, the next health concern, convinced that will spur me into action.
How far do things have to go before enough is enough ?????????
Some please give me the 'proverbial' kick up the backside I need..............

RachaelAgnes Mon 10-Nov-14 08:00:56

I'm in the same position, although it's a size 16 with me. Refuse to buy them, wen though I'm bursting out of 14s! And I'm only 4'11".
I must look like a barrel.
I am out if breath when walking and hate choosing things to wear, because everything looks naff.
Today starts my 'diet' (doing IF as calorie counting destroys me).

RachaelAgnes Mon 10-Nov-14 08:01:21

PS - take a big fat boot!!

slushie Mon 10-Nov-14 14:27:33

I'm the same I'm always going to start tomorrow.

I feel at a bit of a loss about where to start I don't want to do a slimming club, cba to calorie count. Am generally miserable about it all sad

Sarahs79 Mon 10-Nov-14 19:12:26

I feel exactly the same way! I spent my whole 2nd pregnancy telling myself I would start dieting and exercising asap after the birth (I've been overweight for years) but 2 months later I'm eating just as much and hating myself for it.

If anymore wants a weight loss buddy let me know as I think it would really help having someone to check in with smile

slushie Mon 10-Nov-14 19:34:53

Sarah - I did the same when I was pregnant with dd2. When dd was born I was 10lbs lighter than the day I got my BFP, as I couldn't eat sweet stuff when I was pregnant. Dd is nearly 17months and I'm 8lbs heavier than when she was born!

I'd like a weight loss buddy smile

How are you trying to lose weight? Are you following a plan?

TalkinPeace Mon 10-Nov-14 22:14:41

By staying overweight you are massively increasing your risk of Alzheimers and dementia.
You may live a long life but you will not remember it.
Your children will visit you but you will not know who they are.
Any savings you have will be eaten up with care home bills.

If you cannot do it for yourself, do it to save your children that pain.

thoughtsbecomethings Mon 10-Nov-14 22:18:49

Mad's I could have write your post word for word. I feel like utter crap but can't seem to make the changes that I desperately need to do. hmm

53Dragon Mon 10-Nov-14 22:21:16

Cancer, heart disease, diabetes, joint problems - I come across a lot of old people in my job and so many big people seem to have mobility issues without ever connecting it with their size.

Anyway the most important thing is to realise that you probably only have to make quite small but sustainable changes to your lifestyle to lose weight. Walk to school and shops, cut out all alcohol at least for a while, don't buy cakes and sweets. Don't feel guilty if you have an occasional binge - that's what 'normal' eaters do.

Above all, don't expect to lose the weight overnight - a pound a week is fine. Be aware that as your weight drops you'll have to cut back a little more. Eat snacks - apples, raw carrots, half a dozen almonds. It stops your blood sugar levels dropping.

Good luck!

MrsWembley Mon 10-Nov-14 22:45:57

Ok, I was on your position three and a half years ago. I was determined not to slip into size 20, but all my size 18 stuff was loose fitting and elasticated. I was definitely hmm

I joined SW. Did it online once, several years ago coz I 'don't do groups' and lost some for a short period when I was bridesmaid to the world (i.e. 3 times in a year and a bit) but then it went back on when I stopped thinking about it.

I tried doing it on my own for a bit but with no real motivation so I thought, what the hell, and went to a group (when the 16 became 18) and lost half a stone before the healthy lifestyle caught up with me and I got pg with our first.

Then I found out that BFing doesn't help you to lose weight, well, not if you're scoffing cake all the timewink I was basically living in my maternity gear and not looking close to shifting into my normal clothes for some time when I went back to the group. Lost a stone and a half and got pg again!grin

So this last time I have promised myself will be the last time. I am in a group I love, with a fabulous leader. That makes all the difference. The last one was ok but there was no real 'all in it together' group spirit. We all joke and laugh about mistakes made and how life isn't quite as perfect as we would like it to be and we're all really happy for each other's successes. It also makes a big difference that there are lots of target members who keep coming back. Everyone agrees that it's keeping up with the group that keeps people at target.

Anyway, size 18(+) then but now, three and a half stone later, I'm in a 12/14. I've got 6lbs to go and will lose that /14 by then. I'm going to do it for Christmas. I'm going to do it for myself. I'm going to do it for all those new members who come to group looking miserable and obviously thinking it won't happen for them. I haven't done it as quickly as many but I've done it. And anyway, it's not a race (and I'm definitely the tortoise in this one if it is! Remember, the tortoise won...)

Don't despair. That's the thing. Don't have a bad day and think, 'fuck it, why bother.' Have a bad day and then wake up the next morning thinking, 'ok, that was that but this is a new day.' Don't compare yourself to anybody else. Compare yourself to who you'd like to be. Remember the days when you could walk up the stairs without getting puffed and think, 'I could do that again.' Remember the days when you looked in the mirror and said to yourself, 'yep, that's fine, you'll do,' and you could get on with your day without another thought on the matter. Remember the days when you didn't have to worry about what other people thought and now, stop thinking about what other people think!

You can do it. Only you can do it. It can be done.

JustLikeHeaven Mon 10-Nov-14 23:10:57

MrsWembley. . Thank you

thoughtsbecomethings Tue 11-Nov-14 08:23:06

Mrs wembley. Thank you for your wise and real words.

MrsWembley Tue 11-Nov-14 08:25:24


TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle Tue 11-Nov-14 08:34:10

"You can do it. Only you can do it. It can be done."

This is spot on. I used to be a size 22. I cried on the drive home with my new size 22 wardrobe in the boot.

I'm a 16 now and on my way back to a 14. It's hard fucking work. But it is worth it, I promise.

Couple of things I'd recommend... Write it down. Write down how you feel now and what your goal is. Then keep a journal... Research shows people are far more likely to achieve something if they write down a plan.

Next, I'd buy some clothes in a size that fit you and a style that makes you feel ok about yourself. Squeezing into clothes that don't fit just makes you feel shit about yourself. Being fat is not a reason to feel shit about yourself. You are amazing, your friends and family think you are amazing regardless of what size you wear. But what you want is to be just as amazing and a bit thinner - they are separate issues. Your clothes size does not define you.

And finally, find a way to move more that you actually enjoy. I hated any sort of group exercise when I was really fat, I was too embarrassed so I started going to the gym and realised I really loved it. I'd stick my headphones in and be in a world of my own, but it's not for everyone. Go for a walk, take up swimming, anything YOU enjoy.

You can do it.

madchocolatemum48 Thu 20-Nov-14 08:58:52

Thanks for all the positive posts ladies.
I know what I need to do, really I do.
I decided to buy a pair of really cheap jeans at Lidl yesterday. Don't grudge £10 jeans, do grudge £40/£50 jeans fat logic.
Bought the dreaded size 20 only to find when I tried the they must be made really big, because I can't possibly be that big jeans on I could barely get them on never mind fastened.
Horrifying revelation that I am that big.
Saw and article of an actress that have dropped to 220lbs thinking well if she is the same size as me how come she looks fat and I don't confused
I can and will do this....

MrsWembley Thu 20-Nov-14 14:48:00

Glad you came back, chocolate, I was worried we'd scared you off!

Have you a plan? Or is that the next step. Solo or in a group? Dieting or a complete change? With the family or just you alone?

GooodMythicalMorning Thu 20-Nov-14 14:52:20

You can do it. I was you this time last year. I cut back the junk food and started hula hooping and am now nearly 6 stone down and wear a size 12. Its difficult to start but easy now and was definitely worth it.

MrsWembley Thu 20-Nov-14 19:25:56

Bloody hell, Goood, that's amazing! Fucking well done, you!grin

Nillia Thu 20-Nov-14 19:40:01

So other than the hula hoop Good , what else did you do? When you say you cut back on the Junk could you explain more? smile

GooodMythicalMorning Thu 20-Nov-14 19:41:43

Thank you. It proves it can be done as I didnt think I had any will power and used to be fairly lazy in the exercise department.

GooodMythicalMorning Thu 20-Nov-14 19:46:18

I still have chocolate but nowhere near as much. A couple of dark squares instead of bars of milk. Pombears instead of regular crisps if i need them but as part of my lunch but no grazing or snacking. I now only eat at meal times. I walk a lot too. I have a weighted hula hoop but i think its the lightest one. I try to hula for 20 mins a day.

Nillia Thu 20-Nov-14 19:48:23

That's good. Sounds like your eating mindfully which is always a useful tool to keep the weight off for life. Well done.

GooodMythicalMorning Thu 20-Nov-14 19:50:38

Yes that's the thing im now aware of what and how much im eating

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