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Help needed, I'm fat, frumpy & fed up

(40 Posts)
ijustwanttobeme Wed 22-Oct-14 13:16:34

Took a cold hard look at myself yesterday and realised I look a mess sad

I weigh 9st 7 and given that I'm only 4'11 that's not good.

I look crap wearing clothes, even crappier without, and can't bear it any longer.

I am a weird barrel shape. It's like my stomach starts from under my boobs, and just is horrible.

I've never had much, but now I have no waist definition at all. My legs are chunky and stumpy too, and my arse would give KK a run for her money.

What's worrying me too is that being peri menopausal as well, the weight will take longer to shift.

I need to eat less and exercise more. I know it, but excuses come thick and fast.

What makes things really bad is DP is a real exercise nut. When I grumble about my weight etc, he says why not do x,y or z but then I I resent it.

Someone slap me with a wet fish and tell me please to get on with it.

All tips to start me off gently would be most welcome. Thanks

Jessbags001 Wed 22-Oct-14 14:17:47

It's hard to be motivated when you're feeling miserable, so bear in mind that you DO NOT LOOK RUBBISH AS YOU THINK YOU DO!!!!. Chin up and find somethings that you don't hate and focus on that, the rest can be either improved or accepted as it is.

Now, how often do you wish you had done something sooner? So, as stupid as it sounds, I imagine myself 6months/1year down the line having done nothing and looking (in my opinion) worse. What would you give to go back in time to 'now' and have a head start in weight loss/toning/whatever? Bam, a six month head start haha!

Try not to find the comments from DP annoying. It's your pride getting in the way of acting on the advice (meant in the kindest possible from someone who gets it).

Set a time this week to do SOMETHING positive exercise-wise (even just a brisk walk) and come back and post here when you've done it! No excuses lol!

GreenFirefly Wed 22-Oct-14 16:17:31

eek. I'm the same height and would love b to be that weight.. I'm aboit a stone and a half more. I'm currently a big 14 but most clothes I have are a 10. it's now more than a year since DD2 arrived and I've been thinkin since then that I need to lose it. I'm not sure it's baby weight after this long. I just need some motivation, and fewer biscuits.grin

GreenFirefly Wed 22-Oct-14 17:28:45

Saying i would like to be your weight wasn't meant to sound like I was minimising your feeling OP, sorry if it did. I too really need a kick up the bum to do something.

ijustwanttobeme Wed 22-Oct-14 21:42:46

Thanks for replies.

jessbags - your post has made me well up. I think it's because I am really miserable and know it's my fault, to let myself get like this.

greenfirefly shall we motivate each other? It's always easier when someone else is working alongside you for a common goal. We can record food, exercise, weight loss, etc?

Now, well, here's the thing....I had to attend a tmeeting scheduled to finish at 4. Plan was to then go home and do some exercise, before having dinner.

Meeting started late and ended at 6. Consequently DP had cooked dinner and was ready to eat when I stepped thought the door. 'Can't you start tomorrow, he says!!

Will start tomorrow- honestly! No excuses I promise.

ijustwanttobeme Thu 23-Oct-14 07:29:04

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a ...well you get the picture smile

I'm going to start the 30 day shred tonight, but this morning did about 15 mins of mostly stretching exercises (recently had sciatica, and was told about core strength etc).

Am going to mfp everything too, that goes into my mouth (well almost ��)

Wish me luck.

GreenFirefly Thu 23-Oct-14 16:34:15

I'll try, I've been promising myself for months now. however, I did manage not to buy any extras when I bought a sandwich gor lunch and only had a couple of biscuits at playgroupblush hmm
I'm sure drinking more water would help me, both flushing me out and gilling me up.

ijustwanttobeme Thu 23-Oct-14 16:57:40

Yay, greenfirefly_ we've both taken those first steps

It is those extras isn't it, that mess you (not you you, btw). So I had a costa skinny latte this morning- regular, instead of large and declined the biscuits and muffin.

Had carrot and coriander soup for lunch- again refused the bread (was in cafe Nero ) .

So far so good. My crisis point is coming up- when I get home the first thing I do is open the fridge it cupboard and snack on something.

Plan is to do the shred as soon as I get in. Will post again once done smile

ijustwanttobeme Thu 23-Oct-14 22:05:49

Did the's been so long since I've exercised, it was hard and that was only level 1.

Had a healthy dinner, but did treat myself to 6 maltesers and a cup of tea just now.

Mfp told me I hadn't consumed enough calories, but I'm ignoring that otherwise I'll eat the rest of the maltesers.

Might even go to bed, so I don't get tempted to eat smile

Day two tomorrow.

Jessbags001 Thu 23-Oct-14 22:19:28

Awesome, well done you! DO eat enough calories though, this needs to be a healthy lifestyle change for the better and not just an empty crash diet. Bed sounds good, sleep is another important mood lifter and weight loss helper.

ijustwanttobeme Fri 24-Oct-14 19:59:17

Checking in- no one's with me I see, but I'm going to carry on, even if I use this thread as a measuring tool to compare my weight week by week.

Had marmite on toast for breakfast and met a friend for a costa before work.

Lunch was roast chicken on brown bread, with salad and a scraping of mayo. Forgot the rule, where you don't need spread if you're having mayo, which would have reduced calories a bit.

Did have a moment of weakness- and ate half a slice of coconut cake.

Shredded again after work.

Now, though I only have about 300 calories left.

DP is out and it's only me and DS. He's having the usual Friday pizza, but I'm going to have to be sensible.

Wonder how many calories in home made chicken noodle soup?

KiaOraOAotearoa Fri 24-Oct-14 20:09:07

About 120 calories?
Keep at it, you're doing well.
I wake up at 5.30 and shred between 6 and 6.30.

Clairol19 Sat 25-Oct-14 07:28:06

Good luck lovelies!!! You can do it!

I've just started using a supplement if you'd be interested in a little helping hand to kickstart your weightloss! smile

thekitchenfairy Sat 25-Oct-14 07:41:27

Can I join? Tis thread could be me. 5' tall and 150lb and climbing up. I feel wobbly, frumpy and struggling. Amd unhealthy. a cold has taken me 2-3 weeks to get over, i never normally get ill.

I Eat pretty healthy at home. But work has a constant biscuit tin, I don't even like them but our department is in a time of huge stress and we are all indulging too much.

Hard to fit around FT work and 2 DS but I used to run regularly and I have done the shred in the past but struggling with change to routine (eldest now at secondary so up much earlier) and taking me ages to get over a cold.

Can someone give me a kick up the arse and help me plan a reasonable meal plan? I would like to lose a stone and be 130lb not 170lb by Xmas!

ijustwanttobeme Sat 25-Oct-14 10:44:43

kitchen - The more the merrier , so come on in and welcome smile

clairol19 - what is and where from do I get, this supplement? And purpose of it what, iykwim?

Did the shred this morning, reminding myself that my 'neck is not invited to this party' . Love JM's little comments.

Had breakfast at mum's - which is usually full on calorie fest eggs, bacon, toast etc. Plus mum only does full fat butter, milk, etc.

Restricted myself to two toast (no butter, but spread with a laughing cow triangle instead!) and a coffee.

Now have to be good as having late Diwali celebration tonight and that'll be another dietary minefield. I've already mfp'd my dinner. Not many calories left, but if I can keep busy during the day, I'll stay out of the kitchen hopefully smile

As I said before I'm gonna keep posting morning and night, as it's my way of staying focused.

Clairol19 Sat 25-Oct-14 12:31:17

Hey ijustwanttobeme
It's from a vegan brand called Arbonne, it's the thermobooster. I ordered mine from

It's the best for looking after me when I'm lazy haha

ijustwanttobeme Sat 25-Oct-14 16:03:27

Uh oh, I'm wavering!

Went into town with DP. Usually have a coffee, but don't have enough calories left (having factored in tonight's dinner already on mfp).

Had a diet coke, which just was not the same.

Now ironing but all I can think if is what I can eat that won't cost me more than 100 calories. I can't concentrate sad

I don't usually think this on a Saturday, but I wish I was at work- as no snacking opportunities!

ijustwanttobeme Sun 26-Oct-14 21:22:13

Made it through yesterday-just. Went over mfp by about 80 calories.

Today, did the shred, plus cardio abs from the Insanity DVD set.

Met friends for lunch in Covent Garden. Was always going to be a toughie, keeping within 1200 cals.

Went over by 400- my own fault, as had alcohol ☺️

Two bad days in a row? This is when I usually fall off diet wagon?...need to remind myself to stay focused and carry on with plan.

So, no dinner for me. Downton, then bed.

Till tomorrow then..

SwirlingStorm Mon 27-Oct-14 20:44:22

I hardly ever post but read your OP and felt compelled to comment. I really feel for you. I think however that a complete re-think about how you approach food will work better than any calorie-counting crash diet and moreover will last a lifetime.

If you stick to real food - stuff that comes directly from an animal or from the ground/trees with no processing - I'm sure you'll drop weight very quickly.

When I say real food, I mean nuts, seeds, fruit, veg, full-fat natural yoghurt, eggs, meat, fish, herbs, spices, pulses, olive oil, avocados, a small amount of other full-fat (not low-fat) dairy products and a small amount of wholegrains. That's it. No lattes, toast, Marmite, laughing cow, diet coke, mayo, margarine, maltesers - all of which are rubbish filler-food which will make you unhealthy as well as fat. This means not visiting 90% of the supermarket aisles. You only need to head direct for the real food shelves.

I'm 5'8'' and 9st 5 and have been this weight for a year eating this way. My daily breakfast is a mix of walnuts, almonds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, cashew nuts and seasonal fruit topped with full-fat natural yoghurt. The nuts are packed full of protein and good fats and I'm not hungry again at all until lunchtime. Once you cut out all the crap (all sugary rubbish and processed carbohydrates) I promise you you'll (a) drop tonnes of weight and (b) not miss that rubbish once you've broken your addiction. "Low-fat" food is the work of the devil.

Plus you'll have no need for mfp or any other calorie-counting actions/thoughts and you can fill the time you spent calorie-counting with hobbies, friends, DP...

Anyway, that's my tuppence-worth. I know it's bloody hard but breaking the habit of eating rubbish is key imho. Best of luck.

ijustwanttobeme Wed 29-Oct-14 22:58:12

Still on track, with shred and diet smile

swirlingstorm thanks for your comments. I am conscious that I don't always eat as well as I should, but am not sure I could cut out everything all at once!

I do recognise that I have to change the way I view food.

I'm more mindful of what I eat already, so am making steady progress in that direction.

Tomorrow I will have completed a week, so I will weigh myself and hopefully have lost something...?

MonsoonInBelize Wed 29-Oct-14 23:10:28

I think swirlingstorm speaks a lot of sense.

Well done (esp with the Shred and Insanity!)

ijustwanttobeme Thu 30-Oct-14 07:17:09


Happy to report that I have lost 4lbs

First thought was, 'ooh I'll treat myself'. But then thought no, what for?

ijustwanttobeme Thu 30-Oct-14 07:27:03 in cake, a biscuit etc.

Got paid today though, so might give myself a retail therapy type treat smile

VegasIsBest Thu 30-Oct-14 07:28:44

Well done. I am trying to get motivated so it's great to hear how you're doing.

ijustwanttobeme Thu 30-Oct-14 07:44:07

Hi vegas, thanks for your comments. Why not jump on board?

Motivating oneself is hard into doing something. Tbh, it was only last week when I reached an all time low, that I realised I had to do something.

I'm being more mindful of what I eat, but still slip up - it has only been a week after all.

Lack of time to exercise, was my default excuse before, but I'm slowly getting round that too. DP is starting dinner, while I do my shred DVD. If I manage to finish work early, I change as soon as I get home and do it then.

Tiny steps for me, but hopefully, the weight lost this way will stay off.

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