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Used to be thin, did I have a brain transplant

(39 Posts)
Fatasfcuk Fri 07-Feb-14 21:45:29

Hello! awkward silence

Ladies, i need your help. I used to be thin, once upon a time. And it's not like it was decades ago as I am only 22 at the moment. I used to be a very healthy size 10 and did not have any eating issues, ate when hungry and skipped meals when full. I had a brain.
I got pregnant with my ds when I was 18 and in uni and somehow made the very wrong decision of keeping the baby. He is here now and although I love him to bits my whole world has turned upside down. During the pregnancy I gained a shit ton of weight.
I was depressed and I think i still am.
My weight however is the thing that bothers me the most. A few days ago I had symptoms of a heart attack and went into my local A&E and was diagnosed with having a clot in my lung. Got some injections and they gave me the clear now, however the doctor said that the only factor that could have caused this clot, as i am so young and no family history was my weight.
The doc weighed me . I was 17.1 st, i am 5 feet 6
I used to be 9 st before I got pg. I eat like i have no brain left, did i have a brain transplant? How can my eating habits change so much in a period of 3 years?
The thing is I want to live, I dont want to die from a clot or a heart attack. I want to start posting an online diary here of my food and exercise so that you lovely ladies can help me in making better choices about food, somedays i fast for 47 hours, next i spend the whole day eating crap, no food, just crap.
The thing is i am a vegetarian and i have considered eating meat as I am anemic and eating fish or beef makes me so full and satisfied. Is it worth it? I have been a veggie since birth and find it a bit yucky to swallow meat. Please advice . There are so many diets out there my brain can't handle all the conflicting information. I just want to go back to being normal, healthy and happy sad
Today I had
Omlette with onions,tomatoes and chilli + one white toast
Lunch was a plain corn on the cob
Dinner was 3 white tomato sandwiches with cream cheese + Nesquick milkshake.
And the only saving grace is that for the past 2 weeks (since I had clot diagnosed) i have been exercising like a maniac, I am a SAHM so exercise when ds is sleeping. Today I did half and hour on the cross trainer, an 30 min exercise video and 100 squats and lunges. It's not a pleasant picture imagining a 17 stone me doing all this but i can, my stamina is ok.

Waiting for your replies !

Fatasfcuk Thu 27-Feb-14 22:56:08

Lily that is a great idea. I m

Fatasfcuk Thu 27-Feb-14 22:53:46

Dorris, thank you so much for your wise words. I'm grinning from ear to ear and I'm so happy that there are people who support me and believe that I can do it, although none of you have met me.
Today was a great day, my first day at my new job. I was a bit scared of how dh cope with ds(he works nights) but I took my mind off that when I got busy. I skipped breakfast as I was running late(sorry!!) . For lunch i made a sandwich on seeded bread with cheese tomato and rocket and had that with a bowl of chopped of fruit that I took with me. Dinner was something like a porridge made of yams(dh cooked) , my 2nd time of having it and I didn't love it too much so only had a toddler sized bowl.
And I had a 200 cal icecream bar after dinner.
Exercise- NIL except for walking 40 mins to work and back.
Today was not the best eating days in my food journal. I'm going to take it easy on the carbs tomorrow.

Fatasfcuk Thu 27-Feb-14 20:11:28

Hi ladies! I have not slacked. I was travelling and had no access to internet. I'm on my period now. I weigh 16.2 stone. I have a new part time job now, working for my local college in admin,3 days a week so i will be posting my updates only once a week. Sorry!
Exercise has been nil in the past week but I have been eating sensibly and I am taking spirulina supplements and i find that I don't have too many cravings now.
I take 4 sprlina in the morning and 4 in the evening.

DorisAllTheDay Thu 20-Feb-14 23:26:09

OP (I can't make myself type your name) you are doing fantastically to get working on your health now. I had my first DD young and unplanned, and I know what it feels like to have your life turned upside down and inside out in the blink of an eyelid. But I coped despite often feeling that I wouldn't, and you will too. Both my DDs are wonderful young women now, and I can't imagine life without them. They are the world to me, and your DS and any others you might have will be that for you. Take things one day at a time. It gets better!

You've done the hardest part, which is admitting you've got a weight problem and deciding to do something about it. Well done, that's a fantastic start. I echo what others have said. There are lots of ways to lose weight, and different things work for different people (and at different times). I'm on the 5:2 thread (look for the one with the not-quite-clean title about chocolate!) and it's wonderfully friendly and supportive. I know there will be other threads in this topic which are equally nice places to be. Have a read of them, see what approaches people are taking, and dive in to one that appeals to you. And if one approach doesn't work for you, don't feel that you've failed, but give another one a go. Some people go for calorie-counting, some do intermittent fasting (5:2 is a version of this), some people go low carb, others just cut out the rubbish. See what works for you.

And do please try to stop beating yourself up. There are bad, really bad, people in this world, who do things that hurt others. You're not one of them. Eating too much and putting on weight doesn't make you a bad person and you don't deserve to feel bad about it. If you want to lose weight for the sake of your health then all power to you, and in my opinion it's a good choice to make, but losing weight won't suddenly turn you into a better person than the one you are already. Good luck!

Lilly20again Thu 20-Feb-14 12:53:29

I gained 5 stone with my first baby!!! From 8 stone.

Daily excercise and cutting portions and a year later I had lost it.

Now 6 years down the line and another baby I'm 8 stone 5.

It can be done you just have to be motivated. Stick some old photos in your kitchen. Cut your portions, your stomach takes three days to shrink itself.

You can do it.

Fatasfcuk Thu 20-Feb-14 11:13:40

Mightily I do have a hypnosis cd by Marissa Peer, but i have never used it as I never thought it would work. I will give it a try now since you have had success with it.
Sorry I have been gone for a while, I had guests from hell and I had a really stressful time cooking bf,lunch dinner for 2 people who are never full, cleaning after them, doing the laundry and taking them around the city to do touristy things. I'm never letting anyone in my house again, my fault.
I have had no exercise in the past 4 days except for being up on my feet from 7-11.
I will start posting my diary again from tomorrow.

MightilyOats Thu 20-Feb-14 09:22:23

An easy way to lose weight if you have the motivation to do it (and it sounds like you have, well done!) is one of the hypnosis apps/cds. I lost three stone using the easyloss one when my son was about 18 months, and it just sort of reprogrammed my brain. I'm pregnant again, but don't feel like the weight is going on more than normal (am eating when I'm hungry, keeping an eye on portions etc, but not exercising as hips are knackered). I will go back to the hypnosis app when I've settled in with the new baby and feeding is established and not put a stone on whilst breastfeeding like I did last time There's a very supportive facebook group and a few of them are mners there too. I think the Paul McKenna one has had success with a lot of people too. I now eat a lot less crap than I used to, cook most meals from scratch and eat smaller portions than I ever did.

Good luck OP, you can do it, and you will feel sooooo much better for it smile

imustbepatient Wed 19-Feb-14 23:27:56

Well done! Just keep hanging in there. So much easier to say than do some days mind you...

Fatasfcuk Sun 16-Feb-14 10:41:16

You are right imustbe, measurements are better. Stepped on the scales this morning after breakfast. Weight is now 16.6 stone.
Very happy.... I knew i was right about the lose bra straps.
Yesterday for breakfast I had a fruit salad and 2 breadsticks. Lunch was spag bol with quorn mince and dinner was soup and a panini. For snacks throughout the day I had an apple, a banana and half a cheese sandwich.

imustbepatient Sat 15-Feb-14 21:41:14

Some weeks you will find not much difference on the scales but a good loss of inches. So take your measurements (bust, hips, waist under bust, thigh and arms) now and then do them again each week. When the scales are stagnant but the inches are coming down, it will keep you motivated. And after all, losing inches is the thing we are all after most anyway!

Fatasfcuk Sat 15-Feb-14 10:07:18

Weight update week one- 16.8 stone. Just a pound in a week? After all this exercise? Disappointing. My bra straps are falling off and had to be tightened and my jeans feels a bit loser on the thighs too. Wonder why only a one pound loss ?!
Yesterday I barely ate anything as I have guests at home and i find it uncomfortable eating around people. Before sleeping i had a bowl of soup bot nothing else apart from that. I find it embarassing eating in front of ppl/restaurants. Anyone else like that?

Fatasfcuk Thu 13-Feb-14 18:53:32

Logging in today's diary.
BF- Pancakes wirh honey and fruit+ milk
L-Veggie rice with lentils + yogurt
D- Apple. And a protien shake.
I'm not hungry today. Have guests over so cooking for them. Exercise today- NIL. sad Tomorrow I will go for a jog if the weather permits.

Fatasfcuk Wed 12-Feb-14 21:16:21

Thanks for the tips eagle! I have never had quinoa but will try it now that you have suggested it. All the best for the last 10 kgs! It's great you have a personal trainer. They really push you don't they?!
Sorry i could not update last night as I had no internet.
Today I had porridge oats for breakfast with some mixed berries and an apple chopped into it. Still not liking oats. The texture sad
Lunch was shepards pie made with quorn mince and parsnips instead of potato.
For dinner I just had homemade carrot soup with a piece of seeded bread. For snacks I had raw veggies with a teaspoon of hummus, was lovely. And had 2 cups if tea. Water ofcourse, I aim for 3 litres per day.
Exercise was 30 mins on my cross trainer, couldn't do anything else as I did not feel motivated enough.
Have some relatives from hell(DH's)coming over tomorrow. FML.

EagleRay Tue 11-Feb-14 23:33:58

Hi Fatas - sorry you've had such a hard time with your weight and health problems. Am glad you've ruled out thyroid as wondered initially if that might be causing problems.

I had DD a year ago and in recent years have really struggled with my weight (combination of pituitary disease and being a bit greedy!) Lost all the pregnancy weight but now my body stubbornly sticks to the same weight and I need to lose around 10kg to get down to a healthy weight.

I'm also veggie, and speaking as someone who really struggles to keep her weight down, here's some things that I hope are useful:

- Find a plan that you can realistically stick to in the long term, whatever it is
- Focus on the first few lbs/kg to lose, rather than the overall loss, which can be a bit daunting.
- Continue with your food diary! It's much easier to spot bad habits when you write things down. It will also make you think about consequences when you eat something
- Some foods to try - quinoa is a great source of protein, and is delicious with feta cheese, roast squash and salad. I sometimes have a veggie breakfast as a non-breakfast meal - scrambled eggs, quorn sausages, mushrooms etc - v filling and high in protein. I usually have home-made soup for lunch, and eat it with a toasted wholemeal pitta and some spicy houmous.

Exercise has been hard as am now working full time and there's very little time to do anything. I've also had to accept that my body will never be slim (I'm 42) so have decided to focus instead on getting strong! I have a session with a personal trainer once a week where I do interval training and weights. It's been fantastic doing exercise a different way and am noticing a difference already. During the week I do interval training at home when I can (my bike is on a turbo trainer in the lounge and I do an 8 minute routine) plus do various exercises with free weights.

My weight is still a bit stuck, but I'm getting fitter and am hoping that with a few tweaks to my diet, the weight will start to go down again.

Keep going, and good luck!

horsetowater Tue 11-Feb-14 18:52:30

OK there are drawbacks to having a child young, but you have one very distinct physical advantage - that is collagen. When you lose this weight you will snap back and look as good if not better than you did before.

Enjoy motherhood while it lasts, it might seem like a life sentence (it is, kind of) but it won't be long before they will be as independent as you are and then you'll have your freedom back - with a massive unbroken career trajectory ahead of you. Unlike me who's making a last desperate stab at one before the brain seizes up.

Fatasfcuk Tue 11-Feb-14 15:39:52

Hello Muriel! Thanks for the words of encouragement.All my friends have cut contact with me as I am no longer "in their league" as I am a full time mum while they are masters students,travellers and journalists. I hope I can make some nice friends on Mumsnet. The ladies here are so lovely and understanding!
Chocolate used to be my weakness till i had my son,then my tastebuds changed completely.

MurielHeslopp Tue 11-Feb-14 12:14:35

Hi Fatasfcuk don't worry about sounding offensive. There's been many a Mumsnetter who has claimed to having regrets regarding having children. They are usually at stressful moments/ low points in life and it usually passes very quickly. If it doesn't pass, as you said yourself, you may be suffering with depression.
I had my first child at 21 and I remember feeling kind of trapped and 'stuck' at a point in my life that I couldn't move on from. Also, very envious of friends who were still having fun/ seeing the world/ earning money. I'm now 31. I chose more of the 'mum' route grin and had 2 more children and wouldn't change a thing. Love every minute. At your age you can absolutely still do anything you originally planned, it's just that little bit harder with a child but he's starting to get older now so I hope you can see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel.
Anyway I'm just noseying around on Weight Loss Chat as I have 3 stubborn stone to shift. Chocolate is the offender. hmm

Fatasfcuk Tue 11-Feb-14 11:29:42

Heathbaby I will look into the SW plan but at the moment I can't afford it to be honest as I am not working and our finances don't permit me to. Once I do go back to work, even if it's part-time I will sign up. No harm in trying! I used to have a pair of kitchen scales. Must bring them out. smile
Horsetowater- I put on the weight durin preg and have sadly maintained most of the weight after ds was born. I used to be very active before I got pg and went to the gym everyday 7 days a week. When I got pg and after his birth I have hardly exercised(only just started 2 weeks ago). The only thing overactive is my mouth lol. Thyroid function tests were all normal.
Im sorry if that sounded offensive but what I meant to say was that I wish I had known how hard it is to be a mum and raise a child without any family around and DH working 6days a week. If I could see this life, I would have made different decisions. But it does not matter now as I have accepted my life. Talking diplomatically is something I never learnt while growing up sad And mumsnet is the first place I have ever shared how I felt.
4x4 I love cauliflower. But have never had it mashed. I will try that tomorrow. What do i season it with ?

4x4 Tue 11-Feb-14 07:06:57

sounds so grim but cauliflower grated and boiled , boiled whole and mashed or roasted its a great replacement for pasta.

horsetowater Tue 11-Feb-14 02:04:43

Sorry I see that you have been to the doctor. I suggest you go back and bang your fists on the table.

Also handy hint - don't ever say you regret having your child again. Especially not in public. There are times when we feel that but if it persists for more than a split second you are probably suffering from depression of some kind.

horsetowater Tue 11-Feb-14 02:01:31

I think if you've put that much weight on just through one pregnancy within 2 years you might have a problem with your thyroid or another medical problem. Pregnancy can often bring out a problem that was either undiagnosed previously or something triggered by a change in hormones.

If you stayed indoors and did nothing but eat pies and sit on the sofa for 2 years, maybe 7 stone is a fair weight gain, but it seems you have been fairly active what with looking after a baby and going to Uni. Have you been to the doctors about it? (you might have to be persistent).

Heathbaby Tue 11-Feb-14 01:54:20

It sounds like you're doing brilliantly. If you are up for something new, I would give Slimming World a shot. I reckon attending a weekly group with others might help keep you going but the main plus of SW is you get to eat pasta - as much as you like of it! In your posts you make it clear you often go to bed hungry - you never have to do that on SW, as most healthy food is free. There is also a version which is designed for vegetarians 'the green plan'. Well done on getting started, you sound like a very strong person to me!!! X

Fatasfcuk Mon 10-Feb-14 22:57:10

Hello MrsJohnnyDepp. It's okay, it's the truth, for a person of my height 17 stone is fatasfck smile
Oh my! 61lbs! You ladies are really motivating. It makes me feel that if other mums can do it, so can I. I have been lurking on the weightloss chat forums here and I am truly inspired by everyone's story. I woudn't want to be an exception.
Today was not so good. I had pasta(my weakness) and a scone.
So BF- porridge oats(i detest porridge, just managed to drink it) with skimmed milk and water.
Snack- banana and plain yogurt.
Lunch- Veggie pasta. I only had one serving. Was tempted to go for a second one but put it in the freezer istead.
In the eve my DH made me his "special tea". That must be 200 cals in itself- 2 teaspoons sugar AND evaporated milk and i had that with a scone.
Guilt set in soon afterwards.
So for dinner i had my lentil soup with a hardboiled egg and cucumber salad. I am still full from my pasta.
I do love pasta but the days i eat it my stomach hurts so much and I can't sleep at night. The wholegrain variety is even worse.
Has anyone got a replacement for pasta?
I have also not exercised today. Does sexytime count :D ??

JohnnyDeppsfuturewife Mon 10-Feb-14 11:18:11

Hi fatasfcuk (I hate typing that in, feels so rude to call someone that!)

I have lost 61 lbs using mfp and chatting to lovely ladies on here. There are so many approaches to losing weight that I'd suggest you lurk on a few threads, look up recipes, ask questions, work out if there was a psychological reason for your weight gain and think about how you can change your lifestyle in the long term. I lost it through low cal because it most fitted into my lifestyle. I'm close to my target and a bit scared of maintaining but that's another subject.

I love the image of your little man exercising with you. My 3 year old dd tried to help me yesterday too. So cute.

Fatasfcuk Sun 09-Feb-14 21:18:30

Oh and for exercise - I did a 20 minute fitnessblender video. Then in the evening I did some leg workouts, weights and cooled off with some yoga. I love yoga, have been doing it since I was 13 smile . My ds has started copying me when I do squats and lunges. It's the funniest thing to watch, little man you dont need to tone your booty anymore !!! :D

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