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Ok here I am, finally admitting I need help.

(21 Posts)
FairyThunderthighs Mon 15-Jul-13 20:21:02

This could be long.

I have always struggled with my weight. I am short and seemingly genetically predispositioned to be a "cello" sort of shape. Big boobs, huge bum, hips and thighs but relatively well defined waist. Over the past few years I have put on a ridiculous amount of weight. No idea how much, I don't own scales. All I know is in early 2009 a 14 trousers was a comfy fit, now I'm struggling to get in 18s. I wear thick leggings even in this heat because my thighs rub painfully.

I had a baby in January last year but I think my main issues are eating too much of the wrong thing and not getting enough exercise. I used to have a 25 minute walk x 2 for the school run but then we moved house and it's now 10 minutes x 2. I eat chocolate, lots of bread, pasta and potatoes, and very little fruit or veg. I am very fat and very unhealthy and I need to do something about it.

The trouble is, this realisation has come about 3 weeks before my wedding. I don't have a mirror which shows me anything below chest height in the house, and no scales. I avoid mirrors in shops and wear leggings and long tops when trousers feel tight. My fiance tells me I am beautiful and he doesn't care what size I am but we rarely have sex because I feel uncomfortable taking my clothes off in front of him.

Yesterday I went to buy underwear. My 40f bras are gaping at the bottom. I tried a 36G as advised a month or so ago by the bra gurus here but I couldn't even get it done up. A 40G was too tight and digging in. I have bought a tight control slip from m&s (in size TWENTY ffs) which helps suck in the horrid wobbly bits, and I'm wearing a long sleeved shrug to cover my blotchy bingo wings. I have pretty much come to terms with the fact I am going to look fat and awful on my wedding day.

I need to lose weight and be healthy but I don't know how. I am petrified of setting myself up for failure. I have a history of depression and anxiety issues and I know that failing a diet would send me right back down and I would comfort eat. I'm a fussy eater, and a SAHM with no social life so I never get out.

Sorry this has got so long I just needed to get it all out. I am dreading my wedding day which no woman should do. I need to be told how to lose weight and how to stop despising myself.

FairyThunderthighs Mon 15-Jul-13 21:06:14

And I considered namechanging but decided against it.

Talkinpeace Mon 15-Jul-13 23:26:47

First off.
Enjoy your wedding. And know that when you book your first anniversary party you'll have lost a load of weight and be a new you.
Discourage lots of photos - as they will annoy you - but enjoy the chance to chat to the people you care about.

come and join the 5:2 brigade
its not a diet, its a different way to have a relationship with food for ever - that happens to make you lose weight

have a look at "the shred" or "couch to 5k" or even wii fit

and in a year's time you will look back at your wedding day as the start of the rest of your life - which it is.

FairyThunderthighs Tue 16-Jul-13 09:10:29

Thank you talkinpeace 5:2 sounds good to me!

FattyMcChubster Tue 16-Jul-13 09:19:04

Don't really have any advice as I've a terrible relationship with food myself but just know you are not alone.
I really hope you can enjoy your wedding. Could you book some pamper sessions so you feel the best you can right now? Agree about not too many photos. You want to remember the day from your point of view, not how a lens sees you.
I think the hardest thing is your attitude towards yourself. Learning to be happy with yourself is a long road.
There's always someone here If you need to talk.

Vickibee Tue 16-Jul-13 11:02:54

Similar to you - been in denial for so long but it hit home when I went to GP and she insisted on weighing me. A whopping 18 stones, I haung ny head i shame and have tried so hard in the last 5 weeks just to cut out all my comfort foods. I am now 17 st 5 pounds so I am pleased with that even if it is a drop in the ocean.
If I can do it anyone can, take it a week at a time and set yourself mini targets.
I am still a size 18 and take 40EE bra but my clothes feel as thought they fit instead of butsting at the seams
You will look georgeous for your wedding have some self belief. Try not to have comfort foods in the house then you can't eat them and exercise a little even if it is a short walk

BsshBossh Tue 16-Jul-13 11:38:30

You can do it! The key thing is to make your mind up that you are going to lose weight, research the different types of "diets" that might suit you, then stick to it (this is critical). Be methodical and consistent and patient. There will be weeks, even months, when you won't lose; there will be weeks when you will gain; there will be weeks when you lose only 0.2 of a lb. But keep at it! Reframe your mind: positive mental attitude.

I went from dress size 20 to 12 in just over a year (BMI 36 to 24, 210lbs to 143lbs) by 1) calorie counting (but not too low calorie - I ate around 1800 cals) and then 2) 5:2.

Go for it!

FairyThunderthighs Tue 16-Jul-13 12:17:01

BsshBossh that is so amazing well done you! I think about a 12 is my goal, I'm never going to be skinny and wouldn't want to be but I think a 12 is just about right for me.
How did you do your fast days on 5:2, carb free or just low cal?
I'm feeling more inspired already. And exceptionally glad that my sister offered to do my wedding photos so I'm not paying hundreds of pounds for pics of me looking like a heifer!
Thanks a lot smile

BsshBossh Tue 16-Jul-13 12:25:00

I eat anything on fast days but simply stick to 500 cals. I save up all my calories for dinner as I like to feel full up at night time but many other fasters spread their 500 cals throughout the day.

Loads of support here:

Please do join us - there is a good mix of old-timers and complete newbies.

Vickibee Tue 16-Jul-13 14:36:14

What can you eat for 500 calories? all day
doesn't sound much

Talkinpeace Tue 16-Jul-13 14:43:52

it isn't much. that is the point.
but its only for 2 days in the week
most of us have one small meal and one tiny snack on fast days
because the next day we can relax a bit

and BsshBossh's numbers (and the pictures of many other 5:2 ers) are the proof it works

Talkinpeace Sat 27-Jul-13 19:43:10

How are you doing Fairy?

FairyThunderthighs Sat 27-Jul-13 19:50:19

Thanks for asking talkinpeace smile I'm doing really well (I think) my lovely fiance decided to do the 5:2 with me to support me, and we have ditched the junk. We've had 2 fast days so far where we had a bowl of cereal for lunch, then a chicken or salmon salad for dinner. I don't have scales, and didn't do any measurements before I started so I don't know if it has had any effect yet, but I still feel very optimistic about it. I haven't felt deprived or like I desperately want to eat, and I'm really enjoying the fruit and veg!

Exercising has been the biggest issue, I don't cope well with heat and it has been scorching so I am struggling to drag myself out for a walk when what I'd rather do is lie in a cool dark room!

My wedding dress needs trying on again soon, if that feels a little loosed I will know it is working!

FairyThunderthighs Sat 27-Jul-13 19:51:38

Looser* obviously!

Talkinpeace Sat 27-Jul-13 19:55:35

Delighted to hear that your other half is fasting with you.
That bodes really well for your health, wealth and happiness.

Agree that exercise in the heat is a bit tough (I cheat by swimming)
but even a couple of extra walks up and down the stairs and standing up when talking on the phone or on the internet will make a difference.

Go for it.
And once you have got the whoosh of the wedding out of the way you'll have time to come and join the madhouse that is the big threads.

Well done.

CinnamonAddict Sat 27-Jul-13 20:02:38

You can do it.
Your stb dh loves you the way you are, so you can lose weight without pressure and just for YOU! smile

Exercise is vital, and I don't mean walking but exercise that leaves you really really exhausted. That will burn calories like nothing else. Find something you like. And do it as often as possible.

BsshBossh Sun 28-Jul-13 08:00:06

Fairy great, positive update and hurrah for your fiance! Keep us posted and if you feel like extra support, come join us on the main thread.

formicadinosaur Mon 29-Jul-13 23:26:43

Stick at it fairy. I lost 5lbs in 2.3 weeks on the 5:2 and I'm sure you will manage too.

formicadinosaur Tue 30-Jul-13 08:09:05

I second exercise! Even just madly dancing round the house for an hour a day

mediawhore Tue 30-Jul-13 08:14:08

I was the same last year.

I weighed 17st 8 and hit size 20!

I didn't follow a set diet, just used my fitness pal and ate 1200 calls a day.

We also took up cycling, started training in June and did the LOndon to BRighton in Sept. also did Pilates too for toning and swam regularly.

Am now 13st 3. Still overweight but significantly less so than last year.

Diet alone will not necessarily help. Exercise is needed too.

Talkinpeace Sat 10-Aug-13 21:37:20

How did the wedding go?
Did you get a honeymoon break?

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