Fat, wobbly and so tired - how do I begin to fix this??? Help!!

[jellybean007]

Hi

I'm quite new here but really wanted to see if anyone has any advice.

My second daughter is now 18 months old. My two are 22 months apart and I ended up with 2 C sections so it has been quite a rough ride for my body. I am easily 2 sizes bigger than before baby 1 and tummy is v mishapen with scars and feel so so down about it. I look in the mirror and just cry. I know this might make me seem vain but I'm really not, I just can't accept this big wobbly version of myself and I'm not sure how to make it better.

I have started running and run at least 3 times a week for 30 minutes. I don't eat a lot of rubbish but know from my weight watcher days that I'm eating more than I probably should. I'm just so tired, I can't get through the day on low calories. My daughters are brilliant fun but so exhausting and I've had a permanent cold for about 3 years now from various bugs they catch.

I went out today and bought ingredients for the 7 day chemical grapefruit diet thinking that might be a good way to kick start weight loss and then move onto weight watchers but my husband has said that he doesn't think it's a good idea to diet that way.

What is the answer? I feel surrounded by mums who seem to have effortlessly dropped their baby weight. I know my body has done an amazing thing producing my babies but I can't accept the blobbiness as an inevitable result. Is there a way to accept this or can anyone recommend a good routine or strategy to get back some way towards my old body?

Looking for a life raft, would be great to hear other experiences.

Thanks for reading this, I really appreciate it.

[sonu678]

tbh, I think your kids are still very young, and you have a lot on your plate already to commit to anything too difficult. You have started the running which is brilliant. This will help you tone up and perhaps make you happier. Personally, I found the low carb atkins worked very well for me, as I could still eat as much as I wanted to, all proper food as well. and after the first four days, I had loads and loads more energy. If you decide to do it, then ensure you stick with it for at least two weeks, properly, so that you can see it working, which will motivate you further. (you arent still breastfeeding are you? coz if so, then please dont do this)
lots of luck.

[PinkCustard]

I think your DH is right - don't try to follow some strange deprivation regime, it'll only make you feel worse.

There are loads of different healthy eating plans it's just a case of finding one which is sustainable for you. I'm very interested in the health benefits of Intermittent Fasting - but I found going down to very low calories on certain days too depressing. Instead I've recently started following a 16:8 plan, where each day I fast for a 16 hour period (e.g. 6.30pm - 10.30am), and eat during an 8 hour window. The health and weight loss benefits come from limiting your body's exposure to high levels of insulin. Not for everyone, but I'm finding it easy to stick with.

I have also found some exercise classes that I enjoy, and try to go 2-3 times a week, for an hour at a time. I also have a 30 min walk in the evening once DH home from work, and I do the 30DS on non-gym days if I have the energy.

I think if you try to introduce healthy eating and find a form of exercise that you enjoy, you'll be able to make gradual changes and start to feel better about things.

[ihatethecold]

Pinkcustard, can I ask you a question please?

How long have you been doing this woe?

Do you calorie count in the 8 hours you can eat or restrict your diet in any way?

Thanks

[Biltongmuncher]

I believe it is not about a diet but rather about a change of lifestyle and your mindset about food. Ultimately you want to get to a point where you choose the right food because you like it and not because you have to.

Diets don't work, nor do any magic tablet! It takes hard work and running is the best thing, just keep going. On your days you don't run, do sit ups, lunges etc at home, just ten mins will make a difference.

I have been there and done it; it has taken me about two years but i am almost at a point i am happy with my body. I may not be the lightest i have ever been but i am the fittest and most toned i have been for years, even before two kids! Good luck, you can do this, have fun with it!

[Beechview]

Do you take any vitamins? You could be low in iron which might be making you more tired.

Otherwise the running and cutting out rubbish is a great start. Just carry on with that and see how you go.

Make sure you're drinking plenty of water too.

[PinkCustard]

Ihatethecold I don't really calorie count, but I sometimes do a quick tot up at the end of the day just to keep a check on things. I find that it naturally cuts out all the evening snacking (and wine drinking) I was doing, and so has reduced my overall calorie intake without too much hassle, and I'm also missing breakfast calories too. I don't find that by lunch I'm any hungrier than I am on days when I have breakfast.

I only started properly a couple of weeks ago, but had tried 5:2 prior to that, so haven't found it a struggle at all. I'm half way through a very interesting book called IF which was only 99p on Kindle (previously £5 I think). Might be worth you downloading it if you're interested in the subject?

[ihatethecold]

So don't you have breakfast at 10.30 then?

I would be starving by then!

Will check out the book recommendation. Thanks.

[PinkCustard]

I often just have a piece of fruit if I feel I really need it - sometimes I do, other times I'm not too hungry so wait til lunch. You can move the 8 hour window round to suit you though, I just prefer to eat in the afternoon and early evening.

I actually think it's called The IF Diet, and is by Robert Skinner I think.

[ethelvaikre]

Hi,
I just had a quick look trough the conversation and wanted to add that I've always been really tired and its hard to motivate myself to do any exercises, but recently Ive started working out at home with my OH (we bounce of each other) and we do free exercises online and they are fab. Its just 12 minutes a day but they are great (specially when you lack of motivation, thinking that it is only 12 minutes doesn't seem very long does it?!) Oh and dieting has never helped me... I eat a lot but now that Im doing my exercises my body actually tells me what to eat and when... Oh and another thing, the exercises we do, they also do these little challenges, "give up something you love for 30 days" (i've been off chocolate now for 2 weeks and dont want it anymore either)
www.thedailyhiit.com
just have a look, It doesn't suite everyone but I love it

[Mrdarcyswife]

Hi OP,
I really feel for you as I'm in a similar place, but maybe not so tired. In my experience you have to tackle the tiredness first. The more tired I am the more I eat and the worse i feel about myself, so I try really hard to get enough sleep. (I know this can be easier said than done!)
Also it might be worth seeing your gp and getting some blood tests, even with 2 young kids it seems odd to have a constant cold, it could be you are anaemic, or low in some thing else, which could be easily solved.
My top tips are sleep, excercise and then you'll probably find you feel much better about yourself. It works for me and means I'm loosing abt a pound a week. I know that's really slow going, but it's sustainable for me and has stopped me obsessing about how fat I am/ how much I have to loose and feel more comfortable with myself
Good luck. I hope you feel better soon

[jellybean007]

Thank you so much everyone - it helps so much to know that other people are in the same place or have been in the same place. I've tried starting taking iron tablets because I think there might be something with the anaemic thing and aiming for more sleep.

I've also cut down on bread although not really on food but that's helping me feel like I'm doing something proactive and am less bloated.

I never knew what a physical challenge having kids would be - pretty naive I know! - we should get those medals you get when you run a marathon for sure!

Thank you again everyone.

[ppeatfruit]

jellybean i was going to add take a look at your wheat intake it makes lots of people tired, (exhausted even after a good night's sleep) also bad tempered, DH is a different less bloated person when he's not eating it .

It's amazing how much wheat there is in ready made foods, things like yoghurt and sauces; even in some ryvitas; you have to read the labels! Also the Paul Mckenna WOE is fab. for reeducating your body (it concentrates on HOW we eat . I've lost nearly 3 stone on it and am maintaining which is most important!!