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How can I help my sister?

(4 Posts)
berrycake Fri 24-May-13 02:16:43

Hi everyone.
I'm really hoping some of you can give me some good advice here, as I am genuinely worried about my sister.
To give some background; myself, my two sisters and my mum have all been 'chunky' at different times in our lives. My older sister lost loads of weight (and now looks fabulous!) a few years ago, and my mum also is very healthy looking now. My younger sister and I are the ones who have struggled with our weight more, to the point where our mum persuaded us to join Weight Watchers when we were both in our late teens. It worked well but we both got bored of it and slowly the weight crept back on.
Over the past few years I've become more conscious of what I'm eating, and while I've still got a bit to lose, I feel a lot better and much more in control of my diet.
My sister, who is 23, has gone the opposite way, and has gained a lot of weight in last couple of years. It's becoming very worrying, as she's not just 'chunky' any more, she's definitely obese. She is a nurse so she should know about all the health risks, diabetes, heart problems etc, but perhaps she's ignoring them, or is in denial?
I really want to help her, but I have no idea how to go about it without hurting or offending her. After years of people 'trying to help', I know how it can feel to be on the receiving end of advice.
Our older sister is getting married in October, which has spurred me on to lose the rest of my excess weight. I know this should be a good motivator for my younger sister too, but I don't know if she sees herself how she really is, if you know what I mean?
I really don't want to hurt her, I am just so worried for her, but how do I approach the issue without contention?
Unfortunately we live far apart (her in England, me in North America), so exercising and cooking together isn't an option this time around.

Sorry this has been such an essay, thank you for reading! Any advice at all is appreciated smile

EugenesAxe Fri 24-May-13 03:40:30

I find the Fast Diet very accessible as a method of dieting; if she's that big she will get results. Don't know how effective it becomes at the thin end (as I'm still about a stone off target weight) but I lost my first stone nice and gently over about 2-3 months.

You could chat about it generally and recount some testimonials 'you've heard'; it may persuade her to have a go. It's just very flexible and you can go back to eating whatever you like on non-fast days. Even when I slightly exceeded my daily requirement on non-fast days I still lost weight. As the author says you only get through a day at a time; there isn't this huge sentence of abstinence stretching in front of you like with other diets.

phingers Fri 24-May-13 14:23:00

I agree with EugensAxe. Intermittent fasting is the way forward. If your sis is a nurse then she will understand the science behind it. There are loads of diets around but she's (and you) more likely to stick to this plan long term because you're only restricting yourself two days a week.

Loads more info over on and friendly support if you want it.

jayisagirlsnametoo Sat 25-May-13 17:31:55

Hello berrycake.

I understand how it must be difficult to approach this subject with your sister as the last thing you want to do is upset or offend her.

I think it is key to start a conversation about it which is not aimed at her. Make it about you, message her saying "Right! Been for a run this morning! Really want to lose the weight for the wedding!" and that opens up the conversation for her to say "I want to do the same" (hopefully) and then you can support her from there.

Good luck!

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