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'Friend''s comments on my size has triggered binge

(9 Posts)
IAmALovelyDaffodil Wed 15-May-13 15:58:44

Just needed to write this down, have NC'd.

I started dieting in February, with the intention of losing about 30-40 pounds overall. I had been doing really well, steady loss of about one and a half pounds each week.

I met up with a friend who I haven't seen for about eight months last week. I was nervous about seeing her, as she is very blunt with her opinions, so had prepared myself for her saying something.

The first words out of her mouth when I walked in, after saying hello, were "Oh my God, LovelyDaffodil, how have you got so big?"

I acknowledged the weight gain and said that I was doing something about it, had been on diet since Feb, was doing really well but still had a way to go.

Her response was (ad verbatim): "No kidding, I've never seen you with a belly, you must have been massive before." I said that I was well aware of that and asked her to change the subject, because telling me I'm fat isn't very polite, for which she apologised.

But too late, I went on autopilot for the rest of the visit and on leaving, somehow ended up at a McDonald's. I've been on a nonstop binge since, ending today, because I've put on 3 pounds in the last week and I've realised that I can't let one setback put me off my goal.

The binge wasn't directly triggered by her comments I think, it was more that her comments set off a train of thought which ended up with me concluding that I might as well give up, because to other people, I still look fat. And her comments did hurt me (and bingeing takes away any negative feelings, while I'm doing it, at least).

But anyway, I'm back on track from today and will be avoiding this friend for the foreseeable future!

Didn't think I was so easily weakened.

loopydoo Wed 15-May-13 16:07:27

Well done for getting slight back on track.
A little wibble is fine and normal.

A for your 'friend', even without knowing her, I can see straight away that she must have issues to be so horrid and spiteful to someone she is supposed to care about.

I know it's hard when someone has been a friend for a long time, to sometimes see how acidic that sort of person can be, however, for your own self esteem and to give yourself chance to show her a lesson, I'd just not bother meeting up for a good while. And maybe when you do meet up again, spell it out to her prior to the time, that you'd rather not talk about your weight

IvanaCake Wed 15-May-13 16:14:39

Your "friend" is an absolute bitch. Don't put up with being treated like that, you're worth more.

Huge congratulations for your weight loss so far smile

JohnnyDeppsfuturewife Wed 15-May-13 16:44:20

Omg, what a bitch! I'm so sorry she made you feel awful and put that whole train of thought into your head.

Don't worry that others see you as fat, anyone who is worth anything will be delighted that you have already done so well.

milkybarsrus Wed 15-May-13 16:58:20

I'm gob smacked that someone who is a 'friend' can be so rude! Please don't let her comments have any effect on you. If you want to continue to lose weight, then do it for you, not because of any other reason. Take control and don't let her hurt you like this again. Im so sorry for her cattyness flowers.

Barbie1 Wed 15-May-13 17:06:43

What a class A bitch shock

Firstly well done on the weight loss, you are doing brilliantly. The three lb you have gained can be back off by next week.

If anything I would be more bloody determined to prove the bitch wrong. Make excuses until 6 months time and then amaze her with your super slim body. grin

IAmALovelyDaffodil Wed 15-May-13 17:44:16

Oh dear, my poor friend!

She's not a bitch overall, I promise (was an absolute rock when my sister died, really good at rallying round when I'm having a time of it), but she is judgmental about people's appearances and very forthright with her onions in this respect. She did apologise immediately when I made it clear her comments weren't appreciated.

Anyway, thanks for your comments. I think the main thing I've taken from this is that I'm more vulnerable to relapsing than I thought and need to strengthen my resolve and thicken my skin. It could have just as easily been a group of kids shouting at me, I need to find a way of not letting external factors affect my willpower.

Halibut, Jersey Royals & roasted cauliflower for dinner tonight, the crap food I'd bought in binge-mode has gone in the bin (or in the case of the Coke, has been used to clean the toilet!). My next loss goal is to get down to a size 16, so I don't have to buy a new summer wardrobe, it's still within reach, so here's to no more blips smile

IAmALovelyDaffodil Wed 15-May-13 17:56:22

onions opinions

WillieWaggledagger Wed 15-May-13 18:11:39

good grief. is she one of those people who's rather proud of 'speaking their minds'

you are not weak at all

bravo on getting back on track thanks

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