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anyone needing to lose weight for their health?

(54 Posts)
mybabyweightiseightyearsold Sat 22-Dec-12 12:48:33

So, after spending half my life trying to lose weight - I have realised that I can't do it.

Am 45% fat, 4 stones overweight, high BP, cholesterol's a problem, borderline thyroid - and 40 years old. BMI is 35 - that qualifies me for a gastric band, go me!

GP agreed not to start BP meds if I lose weight in 3 months...

...but, feck, it's hard.

I've lost about half a stone - which is usually where I start to lose motivation. And, the reality is, I'm killing myself, so I can't afford to lose motivation.

I've tried ALL the slimming groups. What I need to do is eat less, do more and not pick at food whilst preparing it, drink wine in the week, pick at nibbles in the evening. It's not that hard, the rest of the world manages!

So, what I'd like is a place to vent - and remind myself that I have now got a life limiting condition. That I have no choice - eating because I am sad/happy/lonely/partying/bored/busy can no longer be an option.

Anyone fancy a support thread along those lines?

Bogeyface Sat 22-Dec-12 23:14:36

I wonder if you need a slimming group but if you need therapy or counselling to help you realise why you eat and how to deal with that.

You first mention picking while you are cooking, nibbles, wine etc but then you say that you eat whenever you can (your reasons above cover pretty much everything!), so perhaps that is your issue. Do you turn to food to fill a void? Has it been your way of making yourself feel better when you are down?

Dealing with your reasons for over eating might well be the trick that helps you lose weight.

I wish you well xx

ViperInTheManger Sat 22-Dec-12 23:24:15

I have more than 4 stone to lose (having already lost 2) and have begun to try to address that. I have joined BIWIs bootcamp threads and am learning more from Mumsnet than I ever learned at WW, SW, etc. I also found the Idiot-proof diet books very useful.

The problem with gastric bands is that, if you eat when you are not physically hungry, you will still get those urges. There is a lot more to eating than is addressed by bariatric surgery.
Having said that it can be a very useful tool if used well, I have a friend who has lost 3stone and is now very healthy and happy.

If you are going to try to diet you could do a lot worse than to join us on the bootcamp threads (next one starts 7th Jan).

TheJoyfulChristmasJumper Sat 22-Dec-12 23:46:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mybabyweightiseightyearsold Sun 23-Dec-12 11:18:32

Oh, squee! Thnks for replying, it's a peculiar thread.

I've got a dim view of slimming clubs. They are businesses, it's not actually in thier interest to get you thin for life - it's in their interest for you to lose a bunch of weight, look fab, and put it back on.

Counselling - been there, done that. Yep, I eat for every reason apart from hunger...crazy. That's the problem with diets, they go on about "this will really fill you up" what's hunger got to do with eating?

I'm not going to have a gastric band. I'm "only" 4 stones overweight, and I want a normal lifestyle - so will have to just eat less and do more.

viper tat's amazing, 2 stones? I'll have a look at that thread - though, "bootcamp" strikes fear into me...are wobbly bikini shots whilst limbering in a park a requirement?

jumper that's an interesting way of looking at it. Yep, it is self harm, for sure, hadn't thought about it like that. But, the happier I feel, the thinner I am.

And, there's the truth of it. I'm not very happy. I am married, to a man who works hard, I've stayed at home with the 3 kids, we have a car, we have enough money to feed and clothe and have a nice christmas etc. I have a supportive family and many friends - but, I'm not really, at heart, that happy. And, I don't think I ever have been, actually.

Right. Will go and mull that over.

*jumper, condolances on the intolerances. That's hard work.

On the upside - when I was in the shower this morning, I could see my belly instead of my pre-belly roll of fat. So, I must be thinner, yeah!

TheJoyfulChristmasJumper Sun 23-Dec-12 18:22:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArthurPewty Sun 23-Dec-12 18:30:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lastyearsmodel Sun 23-Dec-12 18:40:57

"And, there's the truth of it. I'm not very happy. I am married, to a man who works hard, I've stayed at home with the 3 kids, we have a car, we have enough money to feed and clothe and have a nice christmas etc. I have a supportive family and many friends - but, I'm not really, at heart, that happy. And, I don't think I ever have been, actually."

I could have written that. I know all the facts, but I don't know how I'm going to do this. I start some days committed to eating when I'm hungry but have usually always lost the plot by evening. So demoralised. As a wise woman on here (Custardo, I think) said: Desperation is not the same as determination. How do I get determined?

Sorry, OP, not v helpful stuff from me, apart from letting you know I feel the same way.

mybabyweightiseightyearsold Sun 23-Dec-12 22:51:05

Well, the mulling thus far has concluded that it's best served with orange juice, cinammon and a dash of port in the wine...

It's not a very attractive quality, being dissatisfied with one's lot. I'm a coper, you know, when there's a problem you want me swooping in with my cape, cheering bon mots and practicality. I cope really well with our own, ongoing dramas - and, yet, I hide behind the flab.

Suppose I lost the lard?

What would I replace it with? It sounds a silly question - but, given I smother all my emotions with food, what on earth will I do instead? Good grief - imagine the carnage if I didn't smother...the things I'd say to my mother in law alone <shudder>

Anyhoo, regardless, I've got a dietician's appointment at the end of Jan which I'm chuffed about. She can hopefully give me a pocket guide to low carb/atkins/5:2/crazy diets which will turn me into a well balanced and contented with my lot thinner person.

As for getting determined...dunno. But, I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that it's just choice. I choose not to change - and die, or, I do change - and don't.

Should be more motivating, really.

ViperInTheManger Sun 23-Dec-12 23:47:18

Dieticians are still very firmly rooted in the low fat / mediterranean / GI type diets which I have done for years with no success (well, I have had success as long as I stuck to it but, the minute I didn't, the weight came back)

If you don't feel motivated after you've seen her look us up on the bootcamp threads (no photos or vicious exercises required!)

lizardqueenie Wed 26-Dec-12 21:01:16

Hi Baby
Read your post sad & really identified with what you have said. The party where you said what would happen if you lost all if your weight you needed to & then stopped using food- how would you cope? That me.

I'm about 7st (shudder) overweight, there I've said it. And as many diets as I try from the sensible to practically starvation I get scared if I don't have food. If I don't know where the next meal is coming from. And the reason isn't because I've ever been in an unfortunate position as a child/ adult where food was limited because of finances but love/ affection/ attention & praise probably was. Especially as a kid. So in a very unconscious war it became my love. Became what I did to fill the gap but as I say in an unconscious way.

I too have had high BP I had Pre-eclampsia when I was pg & at some point I would love to have another baby but I just must loose this weight first.

The new year is a new start for me. I've made that promise to myself- not in a jumping on the bandwagon of the next diet but in a being better & kinder to myself. Listen to the words "whatever the problem/ worry/ sadness/ stress that I am dealing with food will not make it better & will not make it go away". So am I eating because I am hungry of because of something else. I even eat because I'm happy! Making it all more conscious I hope will help me to make better decisions & be kinder to myself.

How are you feeling this evening about it all?

Would love to support you too & bounce a few ideas off of each other. What's the BIWI thread?

mooton Thu 27-Dec-12 17:05:11

Instead of 'trying to lose weight' why not try to change your unhealthy lifestyle instead? Then the weight loss will follow. There are some review of some great weight loss programs on this site

wheredidiputchristmas Thu 27-Dec-12 17:25:42

What about it is a free website.

Both dh and I have been using it since June and have both lost 30lbs. It is really simple to use. Once you have set it up with all your details and how much you want to lose.

It have helped us see what size a portion is rather then guessitimating what you think.

It list a lot of different foods and their calories and we have found it has really focussed us on what we are eating.

FurryDogMother Thu 27-Dec-12 17:33:41

I really do understand how you (OP) feel. Five months ago I was the same - except I'm 53 and post menopausal, so the weight seemed even more 'stuck' to me. I was getting breathless, having palpitations, back pain if I walked too far - general yuckiness.

I've lost 4 stone so far, with maybe another one and a half to go - we'll see - and I know the way I've done it will make some people go 'eek!' - but - well, it was by lowering my carbohydrate intake. I read Gary Taubes 'Why We Get Fat' and it made perfect sense to me (it's the science behind low carb eating), took away all those feelings of guilt - it's NOT about your willpower, it's about your metabolism!

The first couple of weeks are tough, not going to lie about that - that's when you need to dig deep into your reasons for wanting to lose weight - but after that - mah gawd - my appetite has shrunk, I no longer think about food all the time, I eat loads of good food - meat, eggs, bacon, cream, cheese, fish, chicken, lots of salad and green leafy things, plus berries - and I can still have a few glasses of wine or spirits and a mixer if I feel like it. It has been EASY (after those first 2 weeks) - unlike the past 40 years of low fat or low calorie dieting, which were a bloody nightmare, and didn't really work.

I know it's not for everyone (well, secretly, I think it IS for everyone, but it's PC to say the opposite!), but for some people, it's almost miraculous. The Diet Doctor has links to videos etc. explaining this way of eating (it's not really a diet, it's a change in your way of eating for life). Take a few minutes to check his site out, and give it some thought.

I know I get a bit evangelical about low carbing (sorry about that!) but it has totally changed my life. Feel free to PM me for more links/info/advice - I am (yeah I know) full of it!

mybabyweightiseightyearsold Thu 27-Dec-12 20:14:11

Thanks for the thread, folks. We've been away for the Food Fest, am now at my parent's so got a moment to catch up online.

The thing that confuses me is that I have tried EVERYTHING. So, I am basically, confused.

That's why I am looking forward to seeing the dietician - my thinking is they only tell you what is evidence based? Therefore, no stupid points or syns (aaaarrrrrgggggh, the terminology in slimming world is just crazy) or mental starvation unsustainable nutty regime to follow.

I don't understand what a portion is. Nor, do I understand what hunger is. But, our basic diet is good - I cook from scratch, we eat fish and chicken in the main, we don't have puddings, plenty fruit and veg in a variety of disguises - it's actually not too shabby...

but, I nibble all the time, don't exercise at all enough, and drink too much wine to relax.

I've used fitness pal in the past, really liked it. Didn't last.



What are our aims? What do we want to have achieved by the end of Jan?

I'll start - I want to understand where I go wrong, have stuck to an increase in activity, to have not drunk any alcohol during the week, to have learned what a healthy portion is, and to be hungry before a meal.

That's achievable.

Your turn.

McPie Thu 27-Dec-12 21:50:15

I was reffered to a nurse at my surgery as I was struggling with weight loss after a bad period when I put on 1 1/2 stone after dairy started reacting badly with me. I had lost all concept of what portions were supposed to be and would happily free pour rice and pasta. She gave me a plan called Counterweight which quite a few PCT's use. It may be worth asking about to see if they run it in your area as it was really helpful, they give you masses of information books. Its free and their only goal is to help you be healthy.
It is all about eating a balanced diet and does include a fair bit of weighing but you get used to it quite quick. I have been eating around 2000 calories since the end of june and have lost 35lb and am just 1 lb away from my 15% loss from my starting weight. I never thought for a single second I could eat that much and still lose weight but I think I had been starving my body for years.

PeggyCarter Fri 28-Dec-12 18:33:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeggyCarter Fri 28-Dec-12 18:40:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elainey1609 Sat 29-Dec-12 18:00:27

I feel you
im 24 years old, and 20 stone.
been trying to loose weight for years, but seem to be at my largest ever.
Asthma is worse, slight bit of exercise and im having an attack.
high bp and cholesterol and borderline diabetic.
i also fall into the group for gastric band

The issue above of possible self harm i agree with that and links in with depression very well i had never thought of it that way, so thankyou

Last year i lost 3 stone before i fell off the band wagon due to home issues and stress so i know i can do it...and will do as i dont want a gastric band, i enjoy food to much and dont want to be taking tablets all my life.

Have you tried a slimming group not like slimming world or weight watchers but a friendship weight loss group or someone you can get support from ......My fitness pal is good as its free , you can add me Elainey 1609 there is also a thread always on here about it where you can add other friends.

I started a journal and it really seemed to help...when ever i wanted to stack i would write in it about what i was feeling. i started an online course which took up some of my time.

I saw a dietician and she gave me a number of food plans...all of them were nothing i hadnt heard before.

to be honest its all down to me...will power is the issue and enjoyment of exercise. .....thats where i fall short lol

im going to try hypnotherapy this year i hear it can work ......

I think we can all loose our goal, we just have to want it enough work hard and support each other.

good luck to everyone on this thread......just realised how long this is and its mostly me babbling so i apoligise. lol

mybabyweightiseightyearsold Sun 30-Dec-12 19:29:42

See, that's the thing, Elainey - stress management.

I eat for stress management. It's got bog all to do with hunger.

I'd like to get the point of using exercise for stress management - I do like exercise. Apart from running, most of me has a different rhythm to the rest of me which is an unpleasant sensation. But, apart from that, I do like it.

Kick. Up. The. Ass.

Anyhoo, will we all commit to the Annual Solemn Promise to Stick To It from 1st January? In which case, I've got 6 bottles of wine, a box of maltesers, a box of chocolate fingers and a big box of chocolate biscuits to wade through before 1st January.

Oh, no, wait - that stuff KEEPS, doesn't it? It won't go "off" before August-ish?

Wow. There's a notion.

JakeBullet Sun 30-Dec-12 19:35:13

I'll join you all, need to lose weight as my health would definitely improve if I did. I am not someone who makes a success of "diets" and diet clubs so am planning to weigh myself on the 1st January and then eat three meals a day plus fruit in between as needed. Anything in fact so it's not a diet and I don't think "I can't have that".

I am also going to ensure there is no snack type stuff in the house.

So nothing is off limits if its part of a meal and in between I will eat fruit and drink plenty of water.

PeggyCarter Sun 30-Dec-12 19:57:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frenchfancy Mon 31-Dec-12 07:35:10

Just to say please don't put the 5:2 diet into the same category as low carb/atkins/crazy diets .

The 5:2 or intermittent fasting is not really a diet plan, more of a way of eating. Nothing is restricted, the rules are simple, and nobody makes money out of it. The majority of people doing it are doing it for the health benefits not just weight loss, in fact lots of people don't even need to lose weight. It is sustainable and I think could be a lifetime plan.

I have found it has helped imensely with my motivation and my energy levels. I sleep better and feel better. It teaches you what hunger really is and helps you learn to ignore it.

Good luck with whatever you do.

Isabeller Mon 31-Dec-12 07:51:30

This could be the healthy eating thread I need as I identify with a lot of your original post OP. I was stable at almost 'overweight' from the obese side for a long while then put on a stone and a half this year which I have had no success in shifting at all yet.

I have just started reading Ditching Diets by Gillian Riley because I went to a seminar of hers a couple of years ago and thought she made a lot of sense. I'd like to make reading and acting on it my New Year Resolution, anyone else interested?

InMySpareTime Mon 31-Dec-12 08:02:23

Come over to the Motivational threads, we're all doing it our own way, supporting each other, and stopping small slip-ups turning into huge blow outs.
I've lost 3 1/2 stone since July with their support to address the reasons behind my eating, people keep quizzing me on how I lost so much, they can't believe it's just through not snacking/picking, and reducing portion size. It can be done, and truth be told, it's been fairly easy (I keep thinking it's been too easy and the postman will call one day with all the weight I lost in errorgrin).

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