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When shall we three meet again? The not quite NT, not quite weightloss thread ......

(840 Posts)
moosemama Mon 12-Mar-12 20:22:34

We were full up ladies, so we finally have our very own weightloss-ish thread! grin

moosemama Mon 12-Mar-12 20:28:42

Following on from what we were saying I typed a mahoosive post, but it wouldn't let me add it to the thread as we were up to 1,000 posts! shock Blimey I we can talk! grin

Anyway here is my mahoosive post:

Who knows, maybe Jim Carrey has/had soiling issues too?

I think there have been a lot of incredible, yet highly unusual inviduals that have achieved great things and been dx'd or labelled in the past, yet now more is known, perhaps would be given in different dx today. Leonardo Da Vinci? Einstein? Isaac Newton? Spike Milligan? and all those stars who were determined to do their own thing and not conform like, say James Dean? - the archetypal Rebel without a Cause.

I have been thinking about John Lennon recently as well. A man with an incredible mind and soul, but unable to function within the normal bounds of society. I don't think he fitted the profile for ASD, yet he had all sorts of food/eating issues and apparently suffered with OCD as well. I wonder what dx he would get if he were to be assessed today?

Would it perhaps help to point out people who were/are highly individual and independent, not feeling the need to conform to societal norms, yet still achieving great things and living incredible lives?

We have a family member from my grandfather's generation (his older brother) who was dxd as schizophrenic, but knowing what I do now about him, I'm fairly sure he was actually autistic and not schizophrenic at all. He was actually a very sweet man who lived a very isolated and lonely life because people were scared of the schizophrenia label, so never gave him a chance or tried to get to know him. It makes me sad now, because I was always terrified of him, yet he never did anything to deserve it. If he were still alive, I would apologise and make a point of getting to know him better. sad

I don't envy either of you the waiting and going back and forth between possible dxs. We were pretty lucky really, as things moved fairly swiftly once ds had his breakdown, but only because there happened to be a new EP crisis line, which I happened across the number for on the LEA website and then we were lucky enough to be allocated one of the top EPs, who was able to do half the assessment while she worked with him through his crisis. Her work coincided with the assessment centre having a push on reducing the waiting list and because ds had already had a lot of the assessments carried out by the EP and she was willing to do all the questionnaires etc with us, they were able to bring his actual assessment forward, as he only needed a couple of hours, instead of the usual full day to be assessed.

Its an odd thing though. I know ds is autistic, I know he definitely has Aspergers, but I sat here and sobbed all over dh last night after ds1 went to bed and had a total freak out about transition from y4 to 5 and then transition to secondary and then another about an article he'd read about a scary Playstation game. For some reason I had quite a few random memory flashes of him as a baby and toddler - when we were blissfully unaware that he was anything other than 'normal'. I started questioning whether he actually was autistic them and if he wasn't what was the catalyst that changed him. Then came up with a huge list of my failings as a parent that could have caused it and threw in the PND I had after I had ds2 for good measure. Basically I convinced myself that he isn't actually autistic, just damaged - by me. sad

From there we talked for a couple of hours and slowly started to acknowledge all the early signs and compared him to the other two and I had to go through accepting that I have an autistic child all over again. I don't think it will ever get easier really. I still think back to my lovely easy pfb baby, who attracted people to him as if he was wrapped in a ball of golden energy/light and was loved by all. I remember how easy he was to love and then get a pain in my heart when I think about how, despite knowing I love him soooo much, its so much harder to feel and show that love as much when he is so bloody hard to live with and regularly says and does things that hurt and make me feel he doesn't love me back (which of course I know he does really - too much if anything). It also breaks my heart that he doesn't believe I love him as much as I do the other two and this is a constant source of heartache for both of us. sad

So, as you can tell - I didn't have that early night last night. Hence the exhaustion today. sad

Lambskin Mon 12-Mar-12 20:55:56

Moose, that was beautifully written and it really struck a chord with me, especially finding it hard to share how much you love him.

Ds was a lovely baby, so quiet and easy at first. But in retrospect a bit too quiet and at the wrong times. He'd never cry when he must have been in pain for example. And as he got older would scream with rage when we tried to play with him even.

It's nigh on impossible to get a cuddle unless pre-arranged and even then it can easily turn into something very painful like twisting your neck or sticking his nails into your skin. But even with all that I agree that sometimes you just can't believe it.

You're quite right about labels, especially if they're the wrong ones, but at the moment ds's label on himself is naughty as that's the one his old school gave him. Interestingly one of his great uncles had schizophrenia (or maybe not) and his great grandad was known for his violence too sad Bit tragic all round really.

On a happier note well done and thank you for the new thread. Anyone curious about this thread and what diet we're all on will be a bit confused.

madwomanintheattic Mon 12-Mar-12 21:13:59

thank you for the link! smile imagine! we needed a new thread!

no wonder you're knackered, moose. sometimes it does rather hit you like a freight train. i can do a whole heap of parental guilt, too. in my head i know ds1's issues are nothing at all to do with dd2 - he was 20mos when she was born and the world turned upside down for a couple of years, but at the same time, you can't help but reason that it must have affected him in some way, however much you try to prevent it. <sigh>

mm, no-one will talk about family history here. my dad's mum spent most of her life in institutions (to the extent that he didn't ever live with her, and was brought up by the housekeeper) and actually we only realised that much much later - we assumed she died in childbirth. so no real idea, really.

lol at anyone popping in for diet tips and reading the first couple of posts though. grin

jim carrey? john lennon? schizophrenia? autism? what sort of fad is this?


<prepares to repel boarders>

who knows, by the end of this one i might even have lost some weight!

moosemama Mon 12-Mar-12 21:19:40

Oh Lamb, he sounds just like ds was as a baby. He never cried, not for a feed or a nappy change or if he was ill or in pain. We thought we had just been lucky enough to get an easy baby. He would also go with anyone and was happy to be left with anyone. He never cried when we left him and I was told that this was because he had a confident, secure attachment with us.

After having ds1, ds2 came as an total shock - not least of all because he arrived complete with a bad case of colic. He screamed for hours every night and at the time we thought it was him that was going to turn out to have a problem. blush He is actually the most laid back, sweet natured child in the world, happy to fit in with whatever everyone else is doing and ridiculously patient with both his siblings. All it took was a trip to the local osteopath at a few weeks old and he was a changed child literally overnight.

Cuddles with ds1 are an er, interesting experience. He does like a cuddle, but isn't sure how - so its all elbows and knees - not helped by the fact he's so blooming bony as well. He is also a dead weight, despite being tiny, as he doesn't hold his own body up, so you have to hold it up for him. It exhausting actually and it makes me feel awful for even thinking that.

He came over to give me a hug earlier. Ds2 came and cuddled me in response to me telling them that their wrecking the place after I have spent hours cleaning and tidying, makes me feel sad. The cuddle was a copy of his observation of his brother's behaviour - but ended up being more of a throttling which didn't come to a natural end, so I ended up having to try and carefully tell him to let me go - which he of course took as yet another sign that I love and want to cuddle his brother more than him. <<sigh>>

Wasn't sure about the thread title, but decided to just go for it, as am too tired to think of anything else. I imagine a few people will stick their heads round the door and then make a sharp exit - but hey. <<shrugs>>

moosemama Mon 12-Mar-12 21:23:07

Welcome to our new home madwoman! grin

... and we are all going to be super slender stunners by the end of this one! grin

I'm thinking the 'not quite weightloss' bit of the title might put a few people off - being on the weightloss/slimming board and all! grin

moosemama Tue 13-Mar-12 10:41:29

Well, I have really hit the wall today. My balance is off, fingers are numb (couldn't pick up my vitamin pills of the table this morning) right eye is playing up and even water tastes salty. All signs I've pushed my body too far and need to let myself recover properly before I end up with a full on relapse. sad

It was only to be expected really, but I was sooo hoping that all the working out, eating well and taking supplements might have given me a better chance of not crashing this time.

It feels so unfair that I can't even manage one night of fun without ending up a wobbly unco-ordinated wreck for a week afterwards.

I rather pathetically sobbed all over dh before he left for work this morning - poor chap. sad

Lambskin Tue 13-Mar-12 16:39:25

Oh moose, that's shit sad. Please just veg out as much as possible for as long as it takes to get well again. How long do these symptoms last for usually? Can I get you anything? brew?

I like the thread title btw, it encapsulates what we're about I feel.

Still haven't done any meaningful exercise. I walk up a hill first thing and the lazy bit of me (which is actually me) convinces the rest of me (my ears I think) to have a sit down and a cup of tea. Tch.

I've been seriously considering doing an MA again. I did one for almost a year when ds1 was about 6 - wow 12 years ago then! But had no money and had to move away to get a job. It's been niggling away at the back of my mind ever since, especially as I spend most of my time at home because of ds2. I may aswell do something mentally stimulating. Your dd is still only small but do you have any plans for yourself moose?

How is the MSc going madwoman? Very envy but also a bit in awe. I'm not sure whether I could hack it anymore. What are you studying?

In ds2 news it seems hopeful that he could be going full time after Easter, at least that's what his teacher has in her mind. Give me more time to MN read and exercise.

moosemama Tue 13-Mar-12 17:07:29

Aw thanks Lamb.

It varies how long this can last. Sometimes it just gets progressively worse, no matter how much I rest. I'm hoping that all my hard work trying to get fit and healthy will help and I will recover faster this time.

I have done almost nothing today. Managed to bung some flapjacks in the oven when dd was napping, as I realised I had nothing for the boys' after school snack and that is the sum total of my achievements for the day. Dh is going to cook the dinner, so I'm off the hook there. I'm simultaenously too exhausted to do anything, yet bored of doing nothing. Some people are never satisfied huh? wink

Future plans? Well, a while back I was looking into studying dietetics when dd starts Reception year, but then my health went into decline and I shelved the whole idea. Well that and seeing a completely useless NHS dietician, who had apparently learned zilch from her mainstream training and knew less about coeliacs than I did. hmm Briefly considered doing some sort of nutrionist course instead, but know that I wouldn't have what it takes to set up in private practice.

So, now I just don't have a clue really. Dh and I are agreed that I can't really consider going back to work with my dodgy health, as I'd find it impossible to hold down a job with repeated sick leave etc and have been through that particular stressful loop one too many times in the past. We have an embryonic idea for an online business I could run from home, selling dh's design work, possibly on cards and tshirts, but as we seem unable to organise the proverbial 'p-up in a brewery at the moment', I'm not sure whether its very realistic.

I definitely need to start contributing financially to the household - just don't have a clue how - especially after 10 years of being a SAHM.

I also feel the same about needing to do something to exercise the old grey cells. Perhaps I should start with just a small distance learning course on something I'm interested in and see how it goes. I really loved doing my dog behaviour studies back in the late 90's, but haven't done any studying since then.

Other than that - the only big plan I have is to try again learn to drive. I did have a go when I was 21 and was actually driving confidently everywhere in my little green fiesta (Myrtle the Turtle was her name grin) with various friends and family sitting with me, but I screwed up the test due to nerves and was so upset I never took it again. blush We were going to sell our old Picasso when dh got his company car a couple of months back, but it never happened, so dh has just had it MOT'd and the plan is for me to be behind the wheel at the very latest before ds1 starts secondary school in September 2013.

Great news about the plan for your ds to go full time after Easter - I will keep everything crossed for him/you.

Lambskin Tue 13-Mar-12 18:26:58

Thank you smile

I was thinking about the MA before ds's teacher mentioned Easter so now I'm wondering if I should be getting out there earning a crust instead or at the same time at least. I feel a bit guilty even though I've had no choice. I suppose it depends on how well he copes. I haven't worked since the end of 2004 and I don't think I was particularly good at that job so my confidence is rock bottom and I'd need to retrain ..... hmm.

Myrtle the Turtle! Love it! Good luck with the driving, it is scary but gives you so much more freedom. Definitely go for it! Having that as a goal is a really good idea.
Otherwise nutrition/dietetics sounds interesting. You get crap people in all areas so don't be put off by that, you'd be a good one. I'll book myself an early appointment.
You can bake cakes too can't you? Could you do that as a business or would it take the fun away? From what I've seen you're very skilled and creative.

TheLightPassenger Tue 13-Mar-12 19:07:48

Hello, as an SN board regular (was Total Chaos) your title has "called" to me. Does the not quite NT refer to us or the kids or both grin.

and yes, my DS was also an incredibly laid back baby. Only really cried at bath time. I didn't understand why my friend didn't want to take her baby with her to the art gallery etc blush. He didn't really get separation anxiety till he was about 2 ish. Only ever official DX he had was nearly 4 years ago, language delay with subtle social communication difficulties. And since he has been discharged from SALT, as being within "normal" range, Meh, as to where that leaves us. Oh and we have movicol/constipation/overflow etc too.

moosemama Tue 13-Mar-12 19:07:52

After seeing ds's dietician, I looked into what I'd actually be taught on a mainstream dietetics course (I was thinking of looking into an NHS bursary) and decided it wasn't for me. Typically NHS really, refusal to even look at alternatives or new research etc - all very old school and rigid.

After binning the dietetic degree idea, I was pondering doing the OU Autism course plus a couple of nutrition ones and getting into the connection between brain/diet/behaviour etc. It all sounds so interesting, but would end up costing huge amounts, rather than actually bringing any money into the household - so not really a goer for that reason as much as anything else.

I have considered a cake decorating business, but my doglets reside under the kitchen table and it would take £££s to get my kitchen up to environmental health standards. I've also developed an impressive line in intentional tremor, which makes fine detail work almost impossible. The photos on my profile are very small and forgiving. I would definitely need to do some proper courses/training if I ever decided to take it up professionally.

Seems like whatever I come up with there are always huge barriers in the way. It could be the universe's way of telling me to get off my backside and make something happen, rather than waiting for something to come up and offer it to myself, I suppose. Although I rather like the old 'synchronicity' idea, that the right thing will come up at the right time and I will just know which path to take. Well .... I can dream. grin

Why not do the MA to get your confidence in yourself back and then take it from there? That would give you the window to be 'available' just in case things don't go smoothly with ds's transition to full-time. What would your MA be in?

moosemama Tue 13-Mar-12 19:11:38

Hello TLP/TC, welcome to our little hideout/enclave on the weightloss board! grin

Take the title as you will - personally I am pretty sure the 'not quite nt' bit is as appropriate for me as it is for ds1! grin blush

Funny how many of our dcs were easy babies ... and then spent the rest of their lives making up for it! grin

Are you going to stick and round and 'not quite diet' with us or are you just passing through?

Lambskin Tue 13-Mar-12 19:17:34

Hello The LightPassenger! <quick grab her everyone grin> Sorry you're in an inbetweeny none state too. It's crap isn't it? It can feel like they just haven't discovered a box for your ds yet. Are you needing to lose some weight too - we do it all here smile

Lambskin Tue 13-Mar-12 19:27:03

The MA would be English Literature. I was a Basic Skills and ESOL tutor with some A' Level stuff thrown in - not that you'd know it from my posts blush. So I really do need an intellectual reboot. Reading everyone else's crap grammar and spelling has taken its toll unfortunately <must read better books>.

You have to see any course you do as an investment moose. It may cost in the short term but long term that will be out weighed by the pay offs, to yourself as a person, as a mother, a wife, and financially. I think the Autism one with nutrition modules <<---- that's my vote smile

TheLightPassenger Tue 13-Mar-12 19:33:37

I am hoping to stick around. I have 3 stone to lose. This may be a long term project....

school are suggesting a 2 night residential for year 3 (wibble). am not sure what to do, as hopefully there would be no soiiling issues, and 1 missed dose of movicol shouldn't be a problem, but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh. jitter.

Lambskin - I think the old Semantic Pragmatic Disorder dx would have fitted best for DS, but hey as the mum what do I know wink

Moose - if you can afford it, I reckon an ASD based course is a great idea, if nothing else it will be useful in your home life! and given current econ climate, think taking time out to study is a reasonable option, see if things pick up in a few years.

moosemama Tue 13-Mar-12 19:40:34

Oh no, I'm going to be paranoid about every post now. My grammar is terrible and punctuation has always been a big problem for me. blush

I think you should go for it. As you said, it would reboot your intellect and give you back some confidence and I reckon it would be good for you on a more personal level as well, as it would be something for just you and no-one else. I also think it would be a good way of showing potential employers that you are still on the ball and up to date.

I still mull over the Austim/Nutrition study route every now and again, but am wary of becoming totally immersed in SN/Autism, when perhaps I would be better off doing something competely different that gives me something else to think about. Honestly, I talk myself round in ever decreasing circles about all this on a regular basis.

moosemama Tue 13-Mar-12 19:46:26

TLP, I have lost almost 4 stone since starting on this thread last June and if I can do it, you can.

Are you planning to follow a specific plan or diet or just do the eat less move more thing?

I've used a combination of logging my calorie intake on My Fitness Pal and regular torture in the form of Jillian Michaels fitness DVDs - 30 Day Shred, Banish Fat Boost Metabolism and the one I have been too scared to try as yet - Ripped in 30.

I've not been seriously dieting since my MS tests set me back health-wise for two months from New Year, but have been maintaining and started getting back into it a couple of weeks ago.

Not doing too well this week though, need to recover from my first weekend away in a looong time.

Lambskin Tue 13-Mar-12 19:57:00

Well at the beginning of this (well not this obv) thread I was 2 stone heavier at 12 st so you're in the right place. We're each doing something different but try to support one another every day. I for one have definitely found that having a ds with 'something unspecified' but def not NT, has contributed to my weight gain. I deserved a treat unfortunately that 'treat' was wine, crisps, takeaways, and dh portions of pizza and pasta.

My ds has issues with poo too so, yup, I completely get your worries about your ds. When is the residential scheduled for? Is he in yr3 now? Do his teachers know?

madwomanintheattic Tue 13-Mar-12 20:02:40

oh, lamb, i did MA Eng Lit - took the whole course but didn't ever submit (story of my life, but it was right in the middle of dd2. i got a FIRST, a first i tell ya, for my degree and i was sooooo looking forward to it, but it all came down round my ears). this one is social research (because i'm a nosy biatch) and the qualitative side suits me down to the ground. stats make me want to kill people though, so not all good...

<over-excited waves to TC> look, look, moose, your title worked!!! grin

i think you absolutely have exactly what it takes to set up as a private nutritionist, moose. and then you can move here (it's very woo and you would have people queueing down the street) and live happy ever after. no-one drives, either, they're far too fit. <except me> grin

i didn't pass my test for a long time - the raf taught me in the end. my first car sat on the driveway for a year after i passed my test and grew <blush> green mould on the inside of the windows. i loathed driving. these days i just grit my teeth and get on with it. if i can do it, my lovely, you can. smile

well, i went to boot camp this morning. was still feeling full of cold and generally crapola, but fought my way through it. went to physio straight afterwards for the arm thing. he's talking needles next time i think. either acupuncture or something called ims that i've never heard of and am afraid to google. am now preparing myself for my post-boot camp crash. of late i seem to feel bloody awful on boot camp afternoons/ evenings. i'm thinking probably bog standard dehydration? what say you?

moose, lovely, you need to affix your butt to the sofa under a blanket. make sure you get a bit of fresh air and some healthy grub, but don't be listening to that jillian for now. wink she's evil. i'm told tomato juice is great for fixing all sorts of imbalances, so maybe glug a few cartons in addition to your usual supplements and see if you can recover quicker? (i maintain that you still needed the blow-out, even if you take a couple of days to mend - good for your soul to know that your mum can cope with the dcs and that you can take a day off every so often...)

sooooooooooo, TLP. grin have you got a plan for this 3 stone malarkey? (our last thread was called 2 stone something or other. after 1000 posts and a new thread start, i blush still have at least 2 stone to come off. i was doing really well and then, um, relaxed over christmas. i'm doing a leetle bit of low-carbing, and upping my exercise. moose has had amazing results with the shred, but we're a bit rollercoaster in these parts. grin lovely lamb got thrown into the wilderness because she outskinnied everyone. grin but she's back for maintenance and making sure she doesn't stray into obsessive territiory.

we can't promise results (i suggest you listen to moose and lamb and not me) but we do a nice line in general encouragement and lots of understanding about how hard it is to try and do something for yourself when there are distractions on the child front... smile

weigh in is fridays. ish. but moose does it a lot. <glares> we have experimented with measurements instead of weigh-ins, but i'm still not brave enough, and have yet to find my tape measure. my jeans feel a bit looser this week though <ponders>...

right, i need caffeine. the post boot camp headache is looming and i have Things To Do. <sigh>

i am toying with the idea of signing up for aquasize a couple of times a week, not on boot camp days. remind me later i need to make a decision!!!

<but, oooo, how exciting! next thread (tee hee) we might need a four in the title!!>

Lambskin Tue 13-Mar-12 20:08:11

Blimey moose please don't be paranoid about that! Have you read my posts? I always think how well you write actually. I'm better at writing academic essays than gabbing on here honest!

Yes I think I have to do it, I don't want to regret anything and this would be a massive one. But I could say the same about you. You're already an expert, this would be putting a fine edge on it. Think how much good you could do with the knowledge and practical expertise you have with a qualification thrown in. I always respond to, and trust, any professionals who have children with SN more than those who don't. That may be daft but I don't think I'm the only one. DO IT! grin

TheLightPassenger Tue 13-Mar-12 20:13:18

god me too Lambskin, food is/was my drug of choice, as am too much of a control freak for drink or drugs!

residential is in 2 months time. teacher should know about the constipation/meds, but won't know about the soiling, as it hasnt happened at school for years, bizarrely.jitter.oh and we have been given 2 days to make our decision, helpfully hmm

re:dieting. my aim is calorie counting 1500 per day, and 5 hours exercise a week I am a wimp and do easier DVDs than evil Jillian. can just about manage the odd Davina.

Moose - I know what you mean about SN taking over your life. I ended up talking about SN stuff at work recently - about dealing with SS/GPs etc - it felt weird, like 2 parts of my life mixing when they don't normally!

madwomanintheattic Tue 13-Mar-12 20:20:44

oh, i love davina. i do power of three when i'm feeling keen, and moose reminds me to kickbox when i'm mahoosively stressy. grin

ds1 just went on cub camp last month. he managed the first night, then dh went to help for the second night, so was there to insist on toileting etc. he was fine on the monday, we had paed appt on tuesday and both the paed and i were singing his praises hugely for managing to keep it together (last cub camp he brought home an antire duffel full of faeces and soiled clothing). after the paed appt he came home and soiled continuously for the rest of the week. <sigh> he's seeing a new psych at the mo though, so we'll see. (his official dx is adhd with some social issues, anxieties and phobias... and a leftover handful of sensory stuff. i usually post about dd2 on sn though - athetoid cp)

ds hates it when i discuss the soiling etc with school, but for residentials etc they do have to know. he's a master at avoidance.

moosemama Tue 13-Mar-12 20:21:10

Madwoman - get a blooming tapemeasure woman! You absolutely will be losing inches with all that there skiing and bootcamping you've been doing and there's nothing as motivational as seeing the inches go down - not even pounds on the scales.

As for post bootcamp crash - probably a combination of dehydration and not enough calorie intake. You will be working off a huge number of calories with that sort of intensive exercise and need to make sure you are netting enough calories. I have discovered that when I do a big workout, when I check MFP I am sometimes in negative calories.

I tend to boost it with some peanut butter on wholemeal toast, but you would obviously need to find a low carb alternative. What you really need is a big jolt of protein to help you muscles heal and replace the energy you've lost.

You don't need caffeine, that will just dehydrate you even more - you need a mahooosive glass of water .... and some protein. wink

Dh was moaning last night that I have lost too much weight off my chest. grin All my bras are way too big now, having gone down from 41" around the fullest part to 36" when I measured at the weekend. My measurements are now 36" 28.5" 39". I started with 41" 34" 42", so not to shabby I suppose.

madwomanintheattic Tue 13-Mar-12 20:24:50

<switches off kettle>

i suppose mfp might have highlighted that to me if i'd got it together... i had only really considered it to count 'in' rather than 'out'... mmmm.

lol at dh. i bet he wasn't complaining on saturday night, was he? wink

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