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Feeling a bit unsupported?

(3 Posts)
EllenRose Thu 20-Oct-11 22:37:41

I've been trying really hard on my diet (started in Sept and have lost 16 lbs) and it is starting to show. I've been overweight for many years (since dd was born 6 years ago blush) and had bored myself with the moaning about it continually so I decided that I had to do something about it.

The weight has dropped off my face, my upper arms, my chest sad and is obviously taking longer to get off my fattest areas (arse, hips and thighs). Nonetheless, managed to get into Size 12 jeans this week (have been a 16 for what seems like forever) and am really chuffed but I also know that I probably have about another stone / stone and a half to lose. I'm 5'5'' and at my smallest I guess I would have been about 8.5 stone, realistically I think I ought to be aiming for about 9 stone now or thereabouts.

I am happy that I am making progress but I am constantly being told by my female friends and female family members that I ought to stop now as I am looking too thin. I don't understand it - most of them will remember me pre-third child and they never said I was too thin then. I thought they would be happy that I look and feel so much healthier. I am still way too close to the upper end of the BMI range so I would like to aim to be somewhere in the middle as I am kind of average build.

I am finding it quite disappointing that they aren't happier for me and whilst it won't stop me carrying on, I make such a point of congratulating people / friends when you can see they have been losing weight I guess I expected to get the same.

Has anyone had a similar experience? In contrast, DH couldn't be happier and my children are really pleased - it was fairly telling that my dd didn't recognise me in photos because I was so much thinner then!

VeryStressedMum Fri 21-Oct-11 23:39:10

I think that you have the support of the people that matter the most so you should ignore the others. Maybe they think they have your best interests at heart or maybe they are jealous and want you to be fat forever - who knows, but if you feel you will be comfortable at a certain weight and are able to maintain it easily enough then you should be that weight.
9 stone for your height is an OK weight, I was 9 stone (same height as you) before I had the children but I found it hard to maintain and I'm aiming for 10 stone now.
I tell one of my friends (when she asks what do I want to get down to) and I say 10 stone she always says Oh that's way too thin, I'll be happy with 13 stone (we're both 5'5" and she's 17.5 stones) but I feel like saying 13 stone at that height is obese and not healthy but I keep my thoughts to myself as she can do as she likes - as can you!!!!!!!!! grin

omydarlin Fri 21-Oct-11 23:53:03

I have had this before when I went down from 14 stone 4 to 11 stone . My mother was always commenting how i'd lost my bubbliness and lovely round face. My gastric problems I had were down to my 'fad' diet. Other comments from sisters were asking me if I was anorexic, openly saying how jealous they were calling me a skinny bitch and (whilst I was expressing how much i would love to be a size smaller) telling me not to worry as husband loved me anyway whatever size I was. I do have every sympaphy for you. I don't know why people say strange things when others loose weight probably jealousy or misguided concern. The thing is I let it get to me sad I wanted to become the invisible large one of the family again I didnt want all this focus on me and all of the horrid remarks. I piled the weight back on again. Please keep going with your fantastic weight loss you have been so strong sticking to it but you also have to be strong in your mind and not let others comments get to you. It is your body and you should celebrate and cherish is how you like .

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