i need to lose LOADS of weight and theprospect of trying is too daunting!

[ncjust4this]

If I am honest I need to lose about half my bodyweight to be healthy. I really want to try so that I can be agood example to dd and hopefully ttcagain within the next couple of years.

The main problem is dieting actually, physically depresses me. The thought of being that way for the amount of time it will taketo sensibly and sustainably lose what I need to puts me off even starting.

I need help and I dont know where to start.

Ironically the only time I have managed to maintain a sensible diet was when I was preganant. I put on less weight than my baby actually weighed and I wasnt dieting just eating good things for the sake of my baby.

[WhoWhoWhoWho]

I feel the same if I go on a 'diet' but I have just joined weightwatchers and am trying to view it as a long term change of lifestyle than a diet. Last week I had birthday cake, wine, chocs, even a chinese over the week, and I still lost 3 and half pounds! I have lots more to lose but I'm going for slow and steady rather than a crash diet.

Would it help you to view it as a long term change of lifestyle, a way to keep yourself fit and healthy to be around for your DD as a good role model, a way to be in optimum health for ttc, a way to be healthy and more energetic, etc?

[GypsyMoth]

Factor in exercise and you are more likely to feel more positive about healthy eating

[Joby1970]

it took a long while to put on you have to face it'll take awhile to take it off again.
set your self goals - eg 1/2 a stone of a stone at a time & reward yourself when you reach the goals (in a non food way)

[ncjust4this]

It is a very emotional thing for me. I eat to celebrate, I eat to commiserate, I eat to comfort. Emotionally I am rarely on an even keel so I am always doing one or tother.

I have tried sw and while I was a fan of the food (was pretty much veggie at the time anyway, not so much now) I viewedthe weigh ins as public humiliation and the advisor dished out some pretty poor and angering advice! I know public weigh in are a) more likely to make me just stop going if I have a bad week and b)be counter productive due to the emotional eating factor. Also I found these meetings to be rammed full of size 10 women complaining about how fat they were!

Sorry to be pessemistic but I am on my second day of dieting and although am physically full and eating nice healthy food, emotionally I already feel like crap!

[GypsyMoth]

Well this is where it gets tough!

Take some exercise, you will feel better
What 'emotional' foods would you usually reach for?

[TheGoddessBlossom]

I am sitting here stuffed to the gills after a huge lunch of chilli. I had a huge bowl of porridge from breakfast. I will have a huge meal of chicken and vegetables or bolognese or chops or a roast followed by Natural yoghurt and berries. I will probably have lost another pound tomorrow, weight loss is consistent. I highly recommend the Zoe Harcombe plan. Takes some getting used to what you can't eat but very straightforward and easy.

[Rooble]

Hi I really sympathize, and personally found the first week really hard. I had to think of non-food "rewards" for celebration, commiseration, boredom etc. I had quite a lots of luxurious baths - and did loads of ironing to keep my hands busy etc. At the end of the first week when I weighed myself and had lost some weight, I felt far more incentivised to continue. I found it demanded a lot of active thinking: at the time I would normally reach for a piece of cake/whatever I had to make a point of stopping myself and saying: "do I choose to have cake or do I choose to continue to lose weight?". I've heard other people on here talk about sugar/salt mood swing cravings and I have found that once I've really got into the habit of eating sensibly those cravings really subsided (not sure if this is right, but I'm just wondering if your not being on an emotional even keel may be related?).
If you want to formally weigh in but to avoid the public arena of SW/WW there are online options, eg www.guardianeatright.co.uk which is what I'm using. Their mentors wouldn't know me from Adam and are extremely helpful and supportive. Really where I'm up to is only between me and them.
Just like WhoWhoWhoWho says, if you don't think of it as a diet per se, but as a different way of eating it may help? (I hope!). A diet doesn't need to be a punishment - you can still celebrate with food - as long as you keep in control of the amount that you use to celebrate (if that makes sense?!).
Not sure if any if this helps, but I hope it does. Good luck with overcoming your negative feelings x

[ncjust4this]

Thanks everyone.

IloveT - I am fat but I do get exercise. I admit not as much asI used to. There are 2 reasons for this I am out of the house working for 70 + hrs per week. I want to spend time with my family more than I want to go to the gym if I am honest. Also I usedto take exercise classes (before dd) that I used to really enjoy but I day I got all the way to the gym and couldnt force myself to walk through the doors. Despite me being fitter than a lot of the thinner members of the class I always felt watched because of my size and I just couldnt take it any more. I do do a lot of walking and on weekends I go out a lot with my dd and chase after her so I am not as unfit as I look.

Thegodess - I have just looked up Zoe and it looks interesting. I may well invest in the book and see how it goes.

Roobie - thank you that did help a lot. I do crave a lotof salt/sugar andto be honest Icant even claim to like the taste of a lot of these foods so my mood swings may well be related. Do you know if any of the online programmes can be readilly accessed via mobile internet asI need a lot of support on the move and am not always readilly hooked up to a laptop. Thanks again it is good knowing I am not alone.

[ncjust4this]

Can someone please remind me that the long term aim of horse riding, go karting, maybe even rock climbing with dd and being able to buy nice clothes in more than 2 highstreet shops is MUCH more important than going to buy the bar of chlocolate I really want to buy right now!

[Candid]

70+ hours a week is a lot.
Are you stressed a lot?

You know the answer to your question. Of course being able to do things with your dd and being able to buy nice clothes is more important than a pile of sugar and fat.

The most important thing in all of this is you and your health. You need a lifestyle change to better your health so you can be around for your dd and have a decent quality of life.

I bought this weeks slimming world magazine as I want to have a go at it without meetings and theres and article in it about a woman who has lost over 20stone. Her start weight was 35 stone!

[ncjust4this]

Yep I am stressed a LOT which is part of the reason I turn to food. Have spoken to work about reducing my hours but its a no go at the moment. Actually its about 65 hours now I count. 60-62 out of the house and I regularly do a bit more after dd has gone to bed. It is crappy but I cant say it is why I got this way to start with I have been big (not quite this big) for years so its no excuse. Although I admit it doesn't help me to lose any as I am more grabbing food than enjoying nice meals.

If I think about the stresses in my life I panic and get down so Itry to ignor them and just get on with it. Most of the stresses are out of my control anyway so whats the point. I could get signed off sick for a bit but the work would just build up while I am off and make it even worse to go back and I cant afford to quit.

[ncjust4this]

Would like to add I am not 35 stone yet but if I dont start looking after myself who knows where I will end up?

This thread is the first time I have admitted to anyone how unhappy I am with my weight and how I feel it restricts me doing the things I want to.

[Candid]

Do you work shifts?

If there's nothing you can do about your situation then you have to get some dealing tactics. I'm sure you realise that a bad diet, specifically one thats high in sugar, will not help your stress levels. You'll cope better with a healthy diet. Lots of fresh air helps too.

Can you get a routine going? Do you cook much? Can you batch cook?

[ncjust4this]

No shifts just too much work not enough staff and a silly commute. I dont for a second think I am alone with this state of affairs!

I do try to cook at weekends, mainly as partof trying to set an example for dd and getting her into cooking good food. But generally my main meal during the week is at lunch and then i grab a sandwich or ready meal at home. I also eat too much at lunch as I over compensate for not knowing if I will get time to eat later. I know my habits have to change and I am trying.

Thank you for taking the time out to write. It has taken a bit off my mind to put everything here. I am a very guarded person in rl amd it feels good to let it all out.

[Candid]

Yeah mumsnet is brilliant for that :)

It must be so difficult in your circumstances. I'm trying to lose a couple of stone and can't manage it and I probably dont have half the excuses you do.

You seem to know what the bad points are in your diet.
Seeing as you rely on prepared food a lot, you could just switch to healthy options.
M&S be good to yourself is probably a good option, although pricey.
You could cut back on lunch and bulk up with extra salad and have fruit and yoghurt if you think you won't eat til late.

Good luck.

[foreverondiet]

I have been on a diet for a year (although reached target in June). My "diet" is now my permanent way of eating during the week although I eat more at the weekends. Dieting doesn't depress me now, because I am never hungry.

I'd rather be slim than eat 2 boost bars and 2 bags of crisps a day, although I do eat around 30g of dark chocolate most days.

Paul Mckenna is good to get into right state of mind.

[ncjust4this]

It is hard but I dont do myself any favours really. I have to open up a bit more. I feel like dh sabotages me sometimes but the reality is he has never has overeating issues and doesnt know howbad I feel so bringing home doughnuts or apple pie is normal to him and he thinks he is being nice.

I own the Paul macKenna book. Must dig it out

[Alibabaandthe80nappies]

There is a Paul McKenna thread running - we are all very lovely and supportive, and our focus is on tackling our emotional issues around food rather than the food itself. Pop in and say hello :)

[Tortington]

//www.carbfree.wordpress.com

low carbing blog.

the only person who can change things is you. losing weight isn't rocket science.

presuming medically things are in order - if your fat it is because you consume more than you use in energy.

its simple no?

no beuase this simple maths equation doesn't take into account how fucking lovelly cake tastes, lifestyles and will power.

anyway - the above is my blog i lost 4 stone, i like the fact that low carbing gives you a huge quick win on a daily basis to begin with, this really motiviates you into changing your eating habits.

oh and this is a lifestyle change, so stop fucking about

[milliesmommy]

Really emphasise with this thread am 40 in 10 days time and having a big party. DD is nearly 10 months old and i'm really annoyed at myself for not losing any weight and being the biggest i've ever been;-( Been stressful time as DD has had a lot of eye surgeries since March so spent a good deal of my maternity leave stuck in the house although things are looking better now. Have joined ww but weight came off slowly so haven't been for about a month now - help;-(

[ncjust4this]

We can hold eachothers hands milliesmommy. I know how you feel when I was on mat leave i did wii fit regularly but then i fell off the wagon and just couldnt face seeing the line go up instead of down so I just stopped doing it.

[HattiFattner]

can I recommend that you take your lunch break at work - go for a 20 minute walk, stop and eat something on a park bench, 20 minutes brisk walk back. YOu can only do those silly hours if you actually take a break mid day, and if you plan in some exercise, it will do you good too.

SPeak to your manager about your hours. Those long term hours are unhealthy and illegal and your manager should be planning something to relieve the pressure on everyone. Otherwise, you might just go on long term sick from exhaustion. Look at your contracted hours - you are doing more than 20% over those hours. Speak to HR if you have one.

[Rooble]

Ncjust4this - yes, the one I'm doing I do on the iPhone. They give you a menu fir each day and a shopping list if you need it, I log every single thing I eat on the website. Once a week they email me with supportive and helpful feedback.

Re: your DH. Mine is similar so I had to say to him - this is what I need to do because I feel crap about my size and looks. I find it really difficult if you go and get croissants for breakfast, please would you stop for a bit? He's been really helpful, eg agreeing to share one bottle if wine per week (I'm having 3 units if alcohol per week) and not bringing temptation into the house.
After about four weeks I was okay for tempting food to be in the house again - I'm sort of able to look at it and choose either not to have any at all, or to have a very small portion.
I think it's really helpful if he gets on board and understands how you're feeling.
Hope this helps! X

[ncjust4this]

I have decided a crash diet is probably not sustainable for me. If I am going to change forever I need to do it a bit at a time.

I am going to start by introducing more water into by diet and trying to cut out refined sugar all together for a bit. I think sugar highs and lows have def added to my moodswings and cravings and by going cold turkey I will reduce my reliance on them.

[ncjust4this]

After that salt and portion sizes are on my hit list! I hope paul mackenna will help so fingers crossed xxxx. [Thanks] evryone