Motivation tips

[menagerie]

I'm massive. So much bigger than I've ever been that I just got back under the duvet this morning and howled. Then got up, ate two slices of DH's Father's Day chocolate cake and got on with the housework. I'm constantly exhausted, feel really frumpy, reject my DH and hate him making suggestive or saucy comments and I have (recently - last month or so) absolutely no energy to do anything about it. I know I need to lose weight but I have no motivation at all, despite being miserable about it. Please someone tell me they recognise this phase and they got through it and are now happy with their weight.

Last straw was when I hung up on a MEND programme woman because she kept telling me about my nearest centre, which I can't get to without a car and wouldn't listen when I asked about a centre slightly further away that I could easily reach by bus. She just kept saying the same thing, like "Computer says 'No'." So that's me and my overweight son scuppered for the MEND programme. Sorry - I'm having a real rant today.

[foreverondiet]

I am sorry to hear about how you are feeling.

In terms of MEND, don't drop it now. Start by emailing them, explaining that you are very keen for your son to attend but you can only go to x location not y due to transportation issue. As for them to reply within a week. If you haven't heard within a week call them and follow up. If you don't make any progress on phone write to chief exectuive saying you really want to take part but you are very frustrated by computer says no attitude.

In terms of yourself. You deserve better - recommend the book "Adore Yourself Slim" by Lisa Jackson, great motivational tips and hypnotheraphy tracks and practical advice.

In terms of the exhaustion, honestly if you change your diet you can feel better literally within a week.

[chirpchirp]

I have this written down and pinned on my bathroom wall, I read it every morning and every night -

"I'm doing this. No more excuses. No more binging or irrational eating because it only makes me feel bad about myself afterwards. This year will be my year and for once I'm not just saying that. I will make the necessary changes, I will get to my healthy weight. I don't care if I'm going to have to sweat like a pig or cut down on junk food. No more hating my body and filling it with rubbish. I'm going to treat myself right and teach myself healthy habits. My weight isn't going to hold me back anymore".

I've lost two stone since I've tried to get into that mindset and still have at least 5 to go. I'm not following any diet as I find them too restrictive and end up craving rubbish within hours. I'm just cutting down/out the things I know to be rubbish and eating more healthily. I'm also exercising at least four times a week which is having a huge affect on my energy levels.

I don't really know anything about the MEND programme but you are the best role model for your child.

Hope something there has helped.

[ggirl]

no advice but just to say I am in the same place as you atm
it's miserable

[menagerie]

Thanks for your replies. Chirpchirp, that is such a wonderful and inspirational message. Good for you. Even as I read it, I thought, I know I don't feel that way yet. I should. I wish I did but I just don't. I hate my weight but i don't have the impetus. After work today two friends came back and we were snacking and drinking wine. one of my friends commented in a jokey way how much I was scoffing (and she is not skinny at all) but I just don't have any brakes at the moment. No idea why. I'm hoping to attack it from a different angle - just focus on exercise and health instead. Sounds as though something similar worked for you Chirpchirp.

Forever, I will try again with MEND. Was having a really bad day for all sorts of reasons when she phoned, and felt really frustrate dat her attitude (she wasn't horrible at all - she just wasn't listening and it drove me nuts trying politely to explain.
My son is being pretty good about eating more healthily. If I suggest water when he was reaching for juice, he just says 'OK.' But he does need more exercise.

[Italiangreyhound]

Hi menagerie

I have just posted on your thread about your son and then I saw this one from you.

I just wanted to give you a virtual hug and say that it is tough. But do come out from the duvet and find some support.

I have just done a New ID course www.newid.info/ This is a Christian course for people with eating disorders. The people on the course might be anorexic, bulimic or compulsive eaters. About three months ago the penny finally dropped and I realised I was impulsively eating! The course was good in that it has helped me to annalyse some of the issues I was dealing with. So often I was eating out of habit or there would be other issues not really connected to being hungry! I am a bit addicted to food, but I am working on it. I think for some people there is a food addiction, I am not saying that is the case for you, I don't know you but I know for some of us that is the issue. So diets only work for a while. I really think looking into the reasons why 'we' overeat is helpful. Then combining it with enjoyable exercise (I walk a neighbours dog as i am really not a gym bunny!) and healthy eating rather than 'dieting'.

Anyway, I just wanted to encourage you that there is an answer out there for you but you may need to look into not only what you eat but why you eat and find some healthy alternatives rather than simply trying to limit yourself or simplu giving into it. I really like what chirpchirp said.

I am posting on this thread here

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/big_slim_whatever_weight_loss_club/1216651-Anyone-want-to-join-a-thread-about-Eating-Less

And I wrote this yesterday:

"I am TRUELY beautiful, motivational and motivated, healthy and worth loving and caring for, my body is the home I carry around me all the time and it is wonderful, I must nourish it and care for it, love it and look after it because it is truly a miraculous wonderful place to be. Yes, bits of it are bigger or wobblier than I may like, but it is AMAZING and my main job is to care for it. To care for it with all the vigour that I care for my kid/s, hubby/significant other/older relatives etc!

It is about putting yourself back into the driving seat of your life for totally positive reasons and not allowing any down/negative/dirty talk!"

I am reading Eating Less Say Goodbye to Overeating by Gillian Riley. I am a very slow reader so it is slow work and I can't totally recommend her book but I do certainly think diets don't work long term and changing how you eat long term to healthier stuff is better.