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Using Covid as an excuse to have a very small wedding.

(16 Posts)
pud12342 Wed 16-Sep-20 20:13:55

we are getting Married on the 17th October. We have a ceremony booked at a local registry office and are having a meal and an overnight stay in a local luxury hotel. We are having 4 guests (2xdc and pil to be). Both my parent have died.
We have been together 24 years and have always wanted to be married but never wanted a wedding so Covid feels like the perfect excuse to just do it and not have to have any sort of traditional wedding. We are not telling anyone else until the day after and I am dreading all the suggestions of post wedding parties that I know will come from friends and family.

Just wondering if anyone else has had a very small wedding and do you feel that you missed out on anything and was there any problems with extended family and friends

OP’s posts: |
Elieza Wed 16-Sep-20 20:35:11

I can’t answer your question personally, not having been in this situation personally, but just wanted to say I think you’re quite right to do what you both want and have a lovely time 💓 💕

If anyone says ‘you must have a party‘ then I’d suggest agreeing with them ‘yeah, something later on after CVirus would be nice’ and just don’t get round to it (unless of course you want to)!

KurriKawari Wed 16-Sep-20 21:02:19

Agree with PP, blame everything on covid!
On the flipside my cousin was getting married this year, knew I'd get an invite but didnt want to go, because of covid they had to down scale it and was so glad not to make the cut!

pud12342 Wed 16-Sep-20 21:35:48

Thanks for the replies. I know what you mean about other weddings. It is another concern that we had Invites to 3 weddings this year. All of them cancelled and 2 of them very close family. Of those two the couples where devastated which I fully understand but one of them was extremely upset as it has been two years in the planning and the bride especially has lived and breathed nothing else in that time. I really hope that she does not feel that we have just swooped in by getting married a few weeks after they should have been. I hope that she sees it as just the right time for us but I also know that people can lose their minds over weddings.

OP’s posts: |
Khajit Wed 16-Sep-20 21:44:13

Can't give any advice but I would do the same thing. I think it sounds lovely.

I have never fancied a big wedding with loads of guests and fuss!

MrsP2015 Wed 16-Sep-20 22:50:27

Do it and don't feel guilty!

Our wedding wasn't in our home town and it was just us. It was amazing.

Had the big reception a month later as people were pissed off we didn't have the big day wedding they wanted to spend the day doing (being paid for/ them dressing up etc

Your day so your voice!

EmmaWithTheGreatHair Fri 18-Sep-20 13:14:10

We just had a small wedding, we’ve been together a similar amount of time to you, it was absolutely perfect and I’d recommend it to anyone thinking about it.

We met a few more family members at a venue afterwards but just for a sit down meal and drinks.

Go for it!

I wouldn’t worry about others expecting a big party at some point in the near future at least, not with the current rise in Covid cases.

homebird29 Sun 27-Sep-20 07:02:22

Hi OP, that sounds like a wonderful plan. My partner and I got married last month (just the two of us, and two people (strangers) from the venue as witnesses) - it was an absolutely fantastic day. I have abusive family members who I have minimal contact with and was nervous that they might have ideas of a party etc (they are completely unaware-somehow- that I have cut them out of my life). But due to Covid there was no suggestion of that. We had a lovely time meeting close family and friends in small groups for a glass or champagne or a cup of tea and a slice of cake. After restrictions have eased we are planning to have a few smaller house parties with people we love to celebrate- but we don’t feel like we’ve missed out on anything by not having it right now. We also did it as a complete surprise and told people 2 days after. We took the day after the wedding just to soak up the newlywed bliss. Everyone was very surprised but delighted when we told them- it is a strange time we are living in and everyone was just glad for some GOOD news! My advice- get some lovely photos taken (lots of wedding photographers are less busy for obvious reasons) and send them out by WhatsApp etc etc when you tell people! Good luck!!

Ifailed Sun 27-Sep-20 07:09:44

Sounds like a great idea. Saving the typical £10,000s for a party that most people won't remember as it merges into all the other weddings they've been to has got to a benefit to you both.
Best of luck in your soon-to-be marriage.

happinessischocolate Sun 27-Sep-20 07:22:54

Sounds fab OP, I was talking to my
Mum yesterday and saying now would be the perfect time to get married as I hate weddings and all the fuss. Only thing is I need to find someone I want to marry first 😂

Hope you have a lovely day

Hellomoonstar Sun 27-Sep-20 07:38:00

Lots of people in mine and dm circle have gotten married during the pandemic. We just see pictures on Watsapp. We get happy for them and order something online for them. I much prefer it this way. I would have loved for my wedding to have had less people, but I comprised with dm to whatever number of people she could have fitted into her garden. I hate being the centre of attention.

cherrybakewellll Sun 27-Sep-20 07:50:59

DH and I got married 2 years ago in a spa hotel, we didn't tell anyone. We invited our parents and we had my 2 kids. Simple ceremony, I didn't even wear a wedding dress, afternoon tea and then parents took the kids back to theirs for 2 days so we could have a luxury stay.
Think it cost about £3k in total (excluding rings but that was the best bit because I got to have a beautiful wedding ring).

DHs siblings haven't spoken to us since because apparently that's not 'a real wedding' but we were always adamant we want a marriage not a wedding.

Coffeecup20 Sun 27-Sep-20 07:51:07

We are doing this too. Small intimate wedding (max 10 guests due to room size)

We will celebrate with all our friends and family by holding a party later next year (hopefully!) where we can all have fun but without the stress of "the big day".

We have been together 16 years, have a house and children therefore for us it makes sense.

Bettyboop82 Fri 09-Oct-20 21:54:45

This is what we’re doing! Been together 15 years, engaged for 12, 3 children, mortgage etc but never actually got round to planning a wedding as we both have huge, Close knit but complicated families and neither of us wanted to be centre of attention or the big expense. Covid had provided the perfect excuse for a tiny, quiet wedding... exactly what we both want. No fuss, just us becoming a ‘proper family’ (in the eyes of the law that is!) at last!

CescaNicole Sun 18-Oct-20 10:40:41

We are doing this too! We've been together 10 years, engaged for 2, 2 small children and thought "F* it! Let's just go for it".
Unfortunately some family members are kicking off about not being invited as obviously with the limit not everyone can come.😒

GaraMedouar Sun 18-Oct-20 10:51:29

Sounds perfect op. Hope you had a wonderful day - congratulations flowers

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